NEWS AND NOTES....
NEWEST BACHELOR REVEALED!
-You'll see in the last "News and Notes", I made a reference to the horrible acting job all the reality stars did in "The Scorned", which I then compared to a bunch of sex**lly tran*****ed dis***es. Well, in the ensuing couple of days, you might've then noticed the ads running on my page ended up being about gen***l w**rts. The reason I didn't just spell these out is because basically the ad program that runs on the site scans words or phrases in your blog that matches up with ads they have. Well, for whatever reason, they thought gen***l w**rts was the focus of the damn column, so they ran nothing but those ads. Remind me never to reel off numerous S**'s ever again. Kinda hard to tell your readers to click on the ads when one of them says, "See pictures of gen***l w**rts!" Nice. Wasn't there plenty of other reality crap I was talking about? They couldn't have scanned those words?
-The "Bachelor" 8 will begin Monday, January 9th, but will start at 10:00 Eastern and Pacific time. Which means even longer nights for me writing the column. Our newest bachelor is Travis Stork, a 33 year old ER doctor who's completing his residency at Vanderbilt Medical Center. And what a surprise, since it's an ABC show, just like "Grey's Anatomy", they're billing him as another "Dr. McDreamy". Here's our newest Bachelor:
The rest of his profile you can check out at abc.com, but he doesn't really say anything different than the previous seven. "I'm looking for the love of my life", "I really want to find my wife after six weeks on television", "I'm not trying to promote my bad music album", "I'm Mr. Romantic blah blah blah". It's all very disgusting and boring, but I'll be glued to my television set come January 9th.
-"People" magazine is reporting that Kimberly Stewart and Talan from "Laguna Beach" are now engaged. Talan's P.R. people are the ones putting this story out because they showed up at a Hollywood nightclub recently and she had a giant rock on her finger. I'm going to say exactly what I said two days ago. Not everything is as seems. If you believe that Kimberly Stewart is actually going to walk down the aisle with some 19 year old kid from "Laguna Beach", you probably also believe Tom and Katie are truly in love. And that he actually impregnated her even though he likes dudes. Just let this story play out before you start going to "Crate and Barrel" to buy them a wedding gift. These two will never walk down the aisle.
-Have you caught VH1's "But Can They Sing" show? Well, in a word: no, they can't. Basically it's celebrity "American Idol". And I use the term "celebrity" very loosely. It's Morgan Fairchild (definitely a MILF), Larry Holmes (always gotta throw the athlete in there to embarrass himself), Joe Pantoliano (loved him in "La Bamba"), Kim Alexis (another MILF), Myrka Dellanos (Who????), Antonio Sabato Jr. (no, he's not singing in his underwear), Bai Ling (might be the most annoying creature on this planet, and I don't even know who she is), Carmine Gotti (nice hair), and Michael Copon (you could list 20 things he's been in and I still wouldn't have a clue). So they're only down to 5 people and boy do they suck. This is beyond anything you'll see at "Dimples" in Burbank, Ca. on a Thursday night. I cannot believe these people think they're remotely talented in the singing department. But of course, it's a train wreck, so you must watch it.
-Email of the Day: This was sent in by "Joan", she asked,
"Since you are the pentultimate Bach expert, what is the status of Charlie and little Sara? Do you know if they are still together? Also the older mullet head bach and that Mary girl. Did they get married?"
As far as I know, Charlie and Sara are still together, and she has moved out here to L.A. As for Byron and Mary, I know he moved out to Florida and they bought a house together and are planning on getting married sometime next spring. And mullet head still is a professional bass fisherman and trolls her around on his Pro Bass Fishing circuit at all his events because she's more popular than he is. Good luck to the four of them. If the previous five "Bachelor" couples are any indication, we can expect neither of these to last much longer.
Keep the emails coming. If you have a question, comment, want to just say "hello", would like a home cooked meal, need to know why it's so difficult for men to ask for directions, email me at steve@realitysteve.com, and maybe your email will appear in the next "News and Notes".
-"Reality Steve Fact": I won the Lip Sync Contest in 7th grade singing "The Time of My Life" from "Dirty Dancing". It might've been the greatest Lip Sync performance you've ever seen. You had to be there.
Sirlinksalot.net: Television News
-You'll see in the last "News and Notes", I made a reference to the horrible acting job all the reality stars did in "The Scorned", which I then compared to a bunch of sex**lly tran*****ed dis***es. Well, in the ensuing couple of days, you might've then noticed the ads running on my page ended up being about gen***l w**rts. The reason I didn't just spell these out is because basically the ad program that runs on the site scans words or phrases in your blog that matches up with ads they have. Well, for whatever reason, they thought gen***l w**rts was the focus of the damn column, so they ran nothing but those ads. Remind me never to reel off numerous S**'s ever again. Kinda hard to tell your readers to click on the ads when one of them says, "See pictures of gen***l w**rts!" Nice. Wasn't there plenty of other reality crap I was talking about? They couldn't have scanned those words?
-The "Bachelor" 8 will begin Monday, January 9th, but will start at 10:00 Eastern and Pacific time. Which means even longer nights for me writing the column. Our newest bachelor is Travis Stork, a 33 year old ER doctor who's completing his residency at Vanderbilt Medical Center. And what a surprise, since it's an ABC show, just like "Grey's Anatomy", they're billing him as another "Dr. McDreamy". Here's our newest Bachelor:
The rest of his profile you can check out at abc.com, but he doesn't really say anything different than the previous seven. "I'm looking for the love of my life", "I really want to find my wife after six weeks on television", "I'm not trying to promote my bad music album", "I'm Mr. Romantic blah blah blah". It's all very disgusting and boring, but I'll be glued to my television set come January 9th. -"People" magazine is reporting that Kimberly Stewart and Talan from "Laguna Beach" are now engaged. Talan's P.R. people are the ones putting this story out because they showed up at a Hollywood nightclub recently and she had a giant rock on her finger. I'm going to say exactly what I said two days ago. Not everything is as seems. If you believe that Kimberly Stewart is actually going to walk down the aisle with some 19 year old kid from "Laguna Beach", you probably also believe Tom and Katie are truly in love. And that he actually impregnated her even though he likes dudes. Just let this story play out before you start going to "Crate and Barrel" to buy them a wedding gift. These two will never walk down the aisle.
-Have you caught VH1's "But Can They Sing" show? Well, in a word: no, they can't. Basically it's celebrity "American Idol". And I use the term "celebrity" very loosely. It's Morgan Fairchild (definitely a MILF), Larry Holmes (always gotta throw the athlete in there to embarrass himself), Joe Pantoliano (loved him in "La Bamba"), Kim Alexis (another MILF), Myrka Dellanos (Who????), Antonio Sabato Jr. (no, he's not singing in his underwear), Bai Ling (might be the most annoying creature on this planet, and I don't even know who she is), Carmine Gotti (nice hair), and Michael Copon (you could list 20 things he's been in and I still wouldn't have a clue). So they're only down to 5 people and boy do they suck. This is beyond anything you'll see at "Dimples" in Burbank, Ca. on a Thursday night. I cannot believe these people think they're remotely talented in the singing department. But of course, it's a train wreck, so you must watch it.
-Email of the Day: This was sent in by "Joan", she asked,
"Since you are the pentultimate Bach expert, what is the status of Charlie and little Sara? Do you know if they are still together? Also the older mullet head bach and that Mary girl. Did they get married?"
As far as I know, Charlie and Sara are still together, and she has moved out here to L.A. As for Byron and Mary, I know he moved out to Florida and they bought a house together and are planning on getting married sometime next spring. And mullet head still is a professional bass fisherman and trolls her around on his Pro Bass Fishing circuit at all his events because she's more popular than he is. Good luck to the four of them. If the previous five "Bachelor" couples are any indication, we can expect neither of these to last much longer.
Keep the emails coming. If you have a question, comment, want to just say "hello", would like a home cooked meal, need to know why it's so difficult for men to ask for directions, email me at steve@realitysteve.com, and maybe your email will appear in the next "News and Notes".
-"Reality Steve Fact": I won the Lip Sync Contest in 7th grade singing "The Time of My Life" from "Dirty Dancing". It might've been the greatest Lip Sync performance you've ever seen. You had to be there. Sirlinksalot.net: Television News
posted by reality steve at 10:24 AM
6 Comments:
hahaha you STILL have genital warts ads ... like EVERY ad is a wart ad except for whatever HPV is? I don't know but sounds like a VD to me.
Human Papillomavirus = genital warts
Why don't you give them any credit? They HAVE been dating for weeks, you know? :)
you are funny. i love your website. especially the things about laguna. best show ever. why are we talking about warts again? keep up the good work. can't wait to read what's coming next. kisses...
steve when are they going to make you the next bachelor?? I'd sign up for that show ;)
I wonder if the real life Dr. McDreamy is going to be banging and dumping more chicks on TV than the Grey's Anatomy version.
How long before you're calling him Dr. McDork?
I am looking forward to the Paris backdrop. I wonder if Fabreze will make an appearance.
That bachelor is cute!!! But I still think Reality Steve is the hottest. Why can't he be the Bachelor???? I'll sign up immediately for him. I think it's cute he had a rabbit even though it died. Someone nominate Reality Steve!!!!
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