THE ODDEST MOST DYSFUNCTIONAL COUPLE EVER
LAGUNA BEACH
-A couple weeks of episodes to get caught up on. One was ten times more entertaining than the other. And you know which one I'm talking about. If you don't, here's a hint: Jason, LC, Jessica, love triangle, fashion show, Jason's tongue in Jessica's mouth as LC watches in disgust? Yeah, that one. Great television.
-Remember, I wasn't around for most of Season One, I just caught the end. Trey has a friend named "Polster"? Polster? Have we seen him before? That's not a nickname? Were his parents big fans of the voting process? Who the hell names their kid "Polster"? If this guy doesn't realize he has a position waiting for him in the porn industry, then he's clueless. He could even just go with the one word name like "Sting" or "Prince". Not many dudes in porn have one word names. Polster. Wow. I'm speechless.
-I love how the producers played Ashlee Simpson's "I Didn't Steal Your Boyfriend" under the whole Jason/LC/Jessica love triangle. Very creative. An Ashlee Simpson song on "Laguna Beach"? I know. Crazy, isn't it? Speaking of Ashlee, I really admire her for being so strong about the embarrassment that her lip synching debacle caused her and her family, and has said she's moved on since then. Then come to find out on her new album she not only wrote one, but TWO songs about the incident. Yeah, no dobut looks like you've put it behind you and moved on. And oh yeah, took time to write a song about how she supposedly didn't steal Wilmer Valderrama from Lindsay Lohan. She's obviously moved on from that too. Geesh.
-Did you catch Kristin's shirt a few episodes ago? "Pillow Talk is Extra". For some reason, I'm guessing the last thing Kristin is into is pillow talk, hence the reason for the shirt. Like she even knows what it is. I find it funny that we just don't really get to see the parents reaction to some of these high schoolers antics. Any moms out there with teenage girls? Let me ask you something. If you had an 18 year old daughter whose senior year was being taped as a television show for MTV and she was walking around in a tight-fitting t-shirt that read "Pillow Talk is Extra", would you be the least bit concerned that maybe your daughter is a complete whore? Just curious.
-I mentioned last time about Talan not graduating and getting his G.E.D. but that it wouldn't matter because he has such a fruitful musical career ahead of him. Then we saw him perform. Ouch. My ears are still ringing. He's gonna sell albums with that junk on it? That was horrible. Ashlee Simpson saw that and was like, "Hey, not bad." Then Ashlee saw Alex M.'s performance and was like, "Wow. She's got talent." Yes, Ashlee said these things. According to me.
-As for the Jason/LC/Jessica love triangle, I mean geez, where do I begin? I only have a few thousand questions regarding this, but let's narrow it down to these few: How did Jason not think the cameras would see him grab Jessica's face and kiss her? Could Jason have been any more stoned and drunk than he was that night? Was Jessica sitting on his lap during the show pretty much just an open invitation for him to come get some? Is LC going through her "rebel" phase with Jason? When LC was crying hysterically, why was Dieter comforting her by saying, "Hold it. Just hold it."? Hold what? His crank? Nice one Dieter. You're friend is crying because she just saw her boyfriend kissing his ex, and you want her to fondle you. Sick pig.
-At least Jason had a 100% clear cut, totally believable explanation for making out with his ex-girlfriend. "She forced herself on me." Oh well then that makes it perfectly acceptable. If only every guy could use that brilliant excuse and get away with it, they'd all be getting some from their ex's. Sometimes when I watch this show, I keep forgetting these kids are 17 and 18. So I guess I can cut them a little slack by saying that I probably did and said half this stuff too back in high school. Then again, I know for a fact I never used the "she forced herself on me" line before. Seems to be a line most rapists would use as an alibi.
-So then this week, we get Jason all heartbroken that LC isn't talking to him, even though he's the one that played tongue hockey with Jessica. "I wanted to marry that chick." Really? You did? At 18? Don't we all. Well, here's a bit of advice. If you wanted to marry LC, you might want to try and keep your tongue in just her mouth and not other slut ex-girlfriends. Might help.
-So who's explanation is worse: Jason's "she forced herself on me", or Jessica's "It's not like I pursued him"? These two deserve each other. I'm sure they've hit it numerous times since they moved to L.A. Actually Jason is in L.A. Jessica I believe is still living down in Laguna. Whatever. You know his monthly trips home to Laguna have to include a late night booty call to Jessica. Yes LC, he's just not that into you. I read that book by the way. I wouldn't say I disagree with everything in the book, and I wouldn't say I agree either, but it really seems come down hard on all men. Some stuff is true, I'll give it that. But what one guy does in his relationship doesn't mean that EVERY guy does that. That's the way the book comes across which seems a bit harsh.
-When Kristin and Alex H. were on their way to LC's party, Kristin said she wanted to put all the "bickerness" between her and LC behind them. Then she never said a word to her at the party. Glad that "bickerness" is over. What about all the "hostilitivity"? Make sure that's gone too.
-Jason and Jessica's last conversation was classic.
Jessica: "I didn't kiss you. Are you kidding me?"
Jason: "No way. This is crazy."
Jessica: "Yeah, it has. You should call LC."
Jason: "Thanks."
Jessica: "Good luck with life."
It's dialogue like that between two tortured souls that practically brings a tear to my eye. "I didn't kiss you." "Yes, you did." "No, I didn't." People, it doesn't get much better than that, I tell ya'.
-LC laying into Jason for his wandering tongue was awesome. Might be my favorite point in the season besides Alex forcing Jessica to call herself a slut. Jason goes over for the one final "I'm-sorry-are-you-completely-shutting-me-out-of-all-nookie" speech. Doesn't work. LC wants none of it.
LC: "You can't come inside. My dad won't let you."
Your dad even hates him? Did he make out with your dad too? Damn. Jason sure is Public Enemy #1 around the Laguna area. No wonder he moved to L.A. Cheating, smoking out, boozing, skirt chasing, etc...he fits right in. What he did in high school is probably getting laughed at. And since we know he and LC are still together, obviously her big final speech to him really didn't mean all that much. It was more like, "I hate you now in front of the cameras. But just wait til we move to L.A. and Jessica is still back in Laguna. Then it's on like Donkey Kong." Or something like that.
Laguna Beach Links
-A couple weeks of episodes to get caught up on. One was ten times more entertaining than the other. And you know which one I'm talking about. If you don't, here's a hint: Jason, LC, Jessica, love triangle, fashion show, Jason's tongue in Jessica's mouth as LC watches in disgust? Yeah, that one. Great television. -Remember, I wasn't around for most of Season One, I just caught the end. Trey has a friend named "Polster"? Polster? Have we seen him before? That's not a nickname? Were his parents big fans of the voting process? Who the hell names their kid "Polster"? If this guy doesn't realize he has a position waiting for him in the porn industry, then he's clueless. He could even just go with the one word name like "Sting" or "Prince". Not many dudes in porn have one word names. Polster. Wow. I'm speechless.
-I love how the producers played Ashlee Simpson's "I Didn't Steal Your Boyfriend" under the whole Jason/LC/Jessica love triangle. Very creative. An Ashlee Simpson song on "Laguna Beach"? I know. Crazy, isn't it? Speaking of Ashlee, I really admire her for being so strong about the embarrassment that her lip synching debacle caused her and her family, and has said she's moved on since then. Then come to find out on her new album she not only wrote one, but TWO songs about the incident. Yeah, no dobut looks like you've put it behind you and moved on. And oh yeah, took time to write a song about how she supposedly didn't steal Wilmer Valderrama from Lindsay Lohan. She's obviously moved on from that too. Geesh.
-Did you catch Kristin's shirt a few episodes ago? "Pillow Talk is Extra". For some reason, I'm guessing the last thing Kristin is into is pillow talk, hence the reason for the shirt. Like she even knows what it is. I find it funny that we just don't really get to see the parents reaction to some of these high schoolers antics. Any moms out there with teenage girls? Let me ask you something. If you had an 18 year old daughter whose senior year was being taped as a television show for MTV and she was walking around in a tight-fitting t-shirt that read "Pillow Talk is Extra", would you be the least bit concerned that maybe your daughter is a complete whore? Just curious.
-I mentioned last time about Talan not graduating and getting his G.E.D. but that it wouldn't matter because he has such a fruitful musical career ahead of him. Then we saw him perform. Ouch. My ears are still ringing. He's gonna sell albums with that junk on it? That was horrible. Ashlee Simpson saw that and was like, "Hey, not bad." Then Ashlee saw Alex M.'s performance and was like, "Wow. She's got talent." Yes, Ashlee said these things. According to me.
-As for the Jason/LC/Jessica love triangle, I mean geez, where do I begin? I only have a few thousand questions regarding this, but let's narrow it down to these few: How did Jason not think the cameras would see him grab Jessica's face and kiss her? Could Jason have been any more stoned and drunk than he was that night? Was Jessica sitting on his lap during the show pretty much just an open invitation for him to come get some? Is LC going through her "rebel" phase with Jason? When LC was crying hysterically, why was Dieter comforting her by saying, "Hold it. Just hold it."? Hold what? His crank? Nice one Dieter. You're friend is crying because she just saw her boyfriend kissing his ex, and you want her to fondle you. Sick pig.
-At least Jason had a 100% clear cut, totally believable explanation for making out with his ex-girlfriend. "She forced herself on me." Oh well then that makes it perfectly acceptable. If only every guy could use that brilliant excuse and get away with it, they'd all be getting some from their ex's. Sometimes when I watch this show, I keep forgetting these kids are 17 and 18. So I guess I can cut them a little slack by saying that I probably did and said half this stuff too back in high school. Then again, I know for a fact I never used the "she forced herself on me" line before. Seems to be a line most rapists would use as an alibi.
-So then this week, we get Jason all heartbroken that LC isn't talking to him, even though he's the one that played tongue hockey with Jessica. "I wanted to marry that chick." Really? You did? At 18? Don't we all. Well, here's a bit of advice. If you wanted to marry LC, you might want to try and keep your tongue in just her mouth and not other slut ex-girlfriends. Might help.
-So who's explanation is worse: Jason's "she forced herself on me", or Jessica's "It's not like I pursued him"? These two deserve each other. I'm sure they've hit it numerous times since they moved to L.A. Actually Jason is in L.A. Jessica I believe is still living down in Laguna. Whatever. You know his monthly trips home to Laguna have to include a late night booty call to Jessica. Yes LC, he's just not that into you. I read that book by the way. I wouldn't say I disagree with everything in the book, and I wouldn't say I agree either, but it really seems come down hard on all men. Some stuff is true, I'll give it that. But what one guy does in his relationship doesn't mean that EVERY guy does that. That's the way the book comes across which seems a bit harsh.
-When Kristin and Alex H. were on their way to LC's party, Kristin said she wanted to put all the "bickerness" between her and LC behind them. Then she never said a word to her at the party. Glad that "bickerness" is over. What about all the "hostilitivity"? Make sure that's gone too.
-Jason and Jessica's last conversation was classic.
Jessica: "I didn't kiss you. Are you kidding me?"
Jason: "No way. This is crazy."
Jessica: "Yeah, it has. You should call LC."
Jason: "Thanks."
Jessica: "Good luck with life."
It's dialogue like that between two tortured souls that practically brings a tear to my eye. "I didn't kiss you." "Yes, you did." "No, I didn't." People, it doesn't get much better than that, I tell ya'.
-LC laying into Jason for his wandering tongue was awesome. Might be my favorite point in the season besides Alex forcing Jessica to call herself a slut. Jason goes over for the one final "I'm-sorry-are-you-completely-shutting-me-out-of-all-nookie" speech. Doesn't work. LC wants none of it.
LC: "You can't come inside. My dad won't let you."
Your dad even hates him? Did he make out with your dad too? Damn. Jason sure is Public Enemy #1 around the Laguna area. No wonder he moved to L.A. Cheating, smoking out, boozing, skirt chasing, etc...he fits right in. What he did in high school is probably getting laughed at. And since we know he and LC are still together, obviously her big final speech to him really didn't mean all that much. It was more like, "I hate you now in front of the cameras. But just wait til we move to L.A. and Jessica is still back in Laguna. Then it's on like Donkey Kong." Or something like that.
Laguna Beach Links
posted by reality steve at 10:13 AM
6 Comments:
Polster is his last name everyone calls him that. Loren Polster is his name an d he was on season one a little too. He is good friends with Trey and Stephen and the seniors from last year he moved on after the show unlike Stephen. He has a clothing company now. If you want to see the parents rent or buy the dvd too season one they are on the deleted scenes alot. Kristin's dad even told her in season one when she was getting ready for prom to "go heavey on the makeup and light one the dress" so he knows shes a whore and her mom don't live here and her step mom is 30 year old tramp. Her dad knows she lives with Brody Jenner and he dont care she dont care who knows she did an on air interview with Ryan Seacrest the other day on 102.7 and she and Brody said they were still in bed. LC and Jason arent together but all the cast makes appearances for mtv and they get there picture made sitting next to each other sometimes and evceryone thinks they are still together because of that but they are not. LC is dating some guy she met thru work you might see him on her show when it starts and Jason is dating everyhone. Talan and Kristin think they are too famous to hang around with the others now Talan was in a minor accident last night in Hollywood he wasn't driving but he was in the bac seat with Kimberley Stewart. Stavros Niarchos was driving and Paris Hilton was upfront with him. In a Bentley Ohhh la la.
anonymous, how do you know all that? I am not saying you are lying, but I am impressed. Keep updating. By the way, what book is reality Steve talking about in his post?
Here's a short video of that wreck
http://us.video.aol.com/video.index.adp?mode=1&pmmsid=1426945
i just posted new laguna beach mp3 songs at makeshift3.com
Remember Survivor? The Apprentice? Is it no longer "cool" to watch adult shows any more?
All i know about all this stuff, is that Polster is a buddy of mine,and his name really is Loren Polster,
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