REALITY ROUNDUP - 5/24/06

Probably the biggest week of television of the year for me. You've got the "24" and "Lost" finales, in addition to the "American Idol" finale. Not to mention "The OC" finale last week, and " The Apprentice" in 5 days. Yikes. Almost too much to handle. Especially tonight's dilemma: Do I Tivo "Lost" and watch the "AI" finale, or vice versa? Tough one. Probably going to get home around 7:30, shut off my cellphone so no one on the east coast texts me and ruins "Idol" for me like they seem to do every week, eat my Stouffer's Mac-n-Cheese dinner, watch the "Lost" finale, Tivo "Idol", then watch it afterwards. Sounds like a plan.

AMERICAN IDOL

-Now, I don't know exactly how this works with Katharine and Taylor's single, but, they sure are taking a lot of grief for them. Do they have any say in the lyrics? Do they have any say in the arrangement? Or it's just, "Here's the song you're going to sing whether you like it or not"? Whatever the case, this is the 2nd year in a row the judges didn't like either contestants single. None of the judges liked "Inside Your Heaven" last year either. I thought both songs were O.K., not great, but then again, what did you expect? I don't think those songs were any different from previous years songs really. It's always some slow, safe, kinda corny ballad. When has this ever been different? Katharine's song is getting crucified in everything I've read. It wasn't THAT bad, was it? I watched each song over three times before I made my decision and here's what I came up with: Taylor's going to win.

-Not because his song was that much better, but because I thought he performed it better. But Katharine wasn't as bad as everyone was making her out to be. But beyond all that, and beyond anything else, it pretty much goes back to what I said a couple weeks ago in that Taylor will win because America loves the underdog. He has way more of an underdog story than Katharine does. And there's a bigger faction out there that hate Katharine for no other reason that she's bubbly, plays with her hair, and has breasts than hate Taylor. Pretty cut and dry.

-But what does it say for the people who are coming up with these singles that the judges keep saying they don't like them? Who's creating these and why do they all sound pretty much the same? From Kelly's "A Moment Like This", to Reuben's "Flying Without Wings", to Fantasia's "I Believe", to Carrie's "Inside Your Heaven", to Katharine and Taylor's single last night, I mean, is one song that much different from the other? I don't think so.

-And wasn't Simon supposed to go with the jacket and the unbuttoned shirt last night? What happened to that? Or does he just do that for tonight's show? Don't let us down Simon. We gotta see that upper chest hair like we do every finale. Is Jennifer Love Hewitt hosting the red carpet show on the E! channel again? That I need to see. Even though I'm not too thrilled with the short haircut she went to, I can still tolerate it. Her hair is the least of my concerns. The fact that she's latched on to some new guy that made a guest appearance on the "Ghost Whisperer", now that's what I have a problem with. Damn her. Maybe it's time I move on to someone younger, and more innocent, and more naive. And one that wouldn't mind me stalking her.

-So the rumor is that Chris is going to sing "Walk the Line" with the band "Live" tonight. Yippee. If we're gonna match the final 12 pair up with all different singers, let's start playing matchmaker. Frankly, I don't care who Melissa sings with, and neither does anyone else. Mandisa? Uhhhhh, I think her singing next to Avril Lavigne would be a pleasant sight. I think a real show stopper could be if Elliot came out with Kermit, Fozzy, Gonzo, and Dr. Teeth and sang "The Muppet Show" theme song. I believe an Ace Young/George Michael duet would go over huge in West Hollywood. And frankly, I don't care who Kelly sings with tonight, just as long as she's coming out of her red halter top and she makes out with Katharine before the show goes off the air. Or something like that.

SURVIVOR

-I know I'm a week and a half late on this, but here are a few thoughts:

-I'm confused on how the reward challenge before the final Immunity Challenge actually helped Terry? So he got to eat food that Danielle and Aras didn't. How does that help you when balancing on a lily pad in the water? I'm guessing the shortest and lightest person is going to have an easier time balancing themselves in water than the person with the full stomach. But maybe that's just me.

-I have a feeling Danielle knew she was losing to either guy in the finals and probably just flipped a coin to see who she took there. Terry won every challenge and never voted any of the jury out. Of course she wouldn't take him, she might not have gotten one vote.

-I'm glad Shane admitted during the reunion show that he literally went crazy on the island. At least all of us weren't wrong about him. If they don't bring him back for the next All-Star edition, that'll be disappointing.

-Although Aras wasn't the most deserving person to win this season, with Terry having been the most dominant, I don't have a problem with that Yoga guy winning it. I would've had a problem if Danielle somehow pulled it out. She was a zero for most of the show. Except for her bikini.

-Here's a suggestion for next season: Since they're going to bring back Exile island, I think if someone finds the Immunity Idol like Terry did, they should re-hide another one. And if someone finds that one, re-hide it again. Why not? How great would it be to see a Tribal Council where more than one person has it and no one knows. Frankly, I thought that's how it was going to work this season until I realized otherwise. Yes, I should be producing this show. Mark Burnett has nothing on me.

Another column coming Friday with the final thoughts on the "Idol" finale, "Reality Steve Fact", your emails, and a look at some of this summer's upcoming reality shows.

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