REALITY ROUNDUP PODCAST #2
Whoa. Went a little long on this one. I rambled for a good 40 minutes, so give it a few minutes to download. You can download Podcast #2 right here. Or just click on the title of the column. This weeks podcast covers a few MTV shows, emails from readers, my thoughts on the devil that is MySpace, and some celebrity news.
For those curious if iTunes is all set up, the answer is yes. Just go down the right hand column, underneath my picture, and click on the link that says "click here to subscribe in iTunes". Every time I post a podcast, it will be in your podcast library the next time you open up your iTunes. It's that easy. No need to go searching through an iTunes directory. Just click on the subscribe button on the right and you're all set. Trust me. And if it doesn't work, then well, back to the drawing board. If you subscribed after last weeks podcast, thank you, but delete that from your library and click on the link again. We had to reset the subscription. Everything should be working now.
In addition, all the archived columns/pictures/interviews from the old website before I went to Blogger is available once again. Down the right hand column, under the iTunes subscription link, there's an "Archived Columns" link which brings you back to the old homepage. From there you can access every column I've ever written on the site. Enjoy.
THE HILLS
-I said last week that Heidi is the star of that show. Why are they even focusing on LC. Look at what Heidi has managed to accomplish in three episodes: she dropped out of college, told counselor that she just wants attend celebrity parties, she crashed LC‘s first major even with Teen Vogue, got a job with Bolthouse, and within a week is already contemplating quitting. And she found a cure for hiccups. She told LC “Drink water upside down and put a pencil in your mouth”. Huh? Is that possible? If I tried that, not only would water run up my nose, but I would probably gag myself to death. Yet she is whats keeping me glued to this show. And have you noticed she sounds like Drew Barrymore?
-LC and Jasons relationship is pretty anticlimactic if you ask me. If you’ve read the internet, or picked up an US Weekly in the last year, you know these two have moved in together and were dating this whole time. But I guess for those that pay no attention to the outside world and only tune in every Wednesday night, I guess that storyline would entertain you.
-These two just aren’t interesting. Can we get her a new boyfriend? She’s gotta meet some new people through her job doesn’t she? Can’t she start dating Jake Gyllenhaal? Oh wait. He likes guys. Whatever. There’s gotta be someone out there for her. Wilmer Valderrama hasn’t hit that yet. And she’s right up his alley. Still in her teens, naïve, just moved to L.A. This is perfect material for him. And after he’s done with her, he can go running to the Howard Stern show to tell us all how she was in bed cuz he’s such a classy guy. Make it happen Wilmer. We’re counting on you.
-Are we supposed to believe that this was actually the first meeting between LC and Jason since she came to L.A.? Please. He called her at her home number, and he knew her address because he sent her those ugly looking flowers. And how is that possible that he could walk right into Teen Vogue, have the receptionist look right at him, and not ask who he was there to see or where to direct him? How did he know where her office was? Very believable. I love this show.
-LC said something that I wasn’t aware of. “Flowers mean I’m sorry, chocolates mean I love you.” That‘s B.S. I thought red roses meant love? And the yellow roses meant friendship? And daises meant “Have a lovely Day”? C’mon. They mean whatever you want them to mean or whatever you write in the card. And what if the chocolates you send are a box of Sees candy? I wouldn’t consider sending someone I loved a box of Sees. Someone needs to rethink this whole flowers vs. chocolates debate because I don’t agree with it. While we’re on the subject, what does lingerie mean then? Is it insinuating you don’t particularly like what she currently has? Or if she doesn’t have anything, is it more along the lines of, “You need to start wearing more of these lacey things”? And that starts a whole new argument.
RW: KEY WEST
-Svetlana and Paula are two of the biggest crazies this show has ever seen. Holy smokes. Svetlana did a pretty big photo spread in FHM recently. Then she put all the pictures on her myspace page as well. Are we really going to go out and buy the magazine with her in it, when I can see the pictures for free on her site? Explain the logic in that one? Do you think I want to read what you have to say, Svet? Frankly, there isn’t anything that comes out of Svetlana’s mouth which I find remotely interesting. Especially since it probably consists of her whining about something or yelling at her boyfriend that she hates.
-Now you may ask, “How did you know Svetlana had a myspace page?” I’ll tell you. Two reasons: EVERY Real Worlder has one. And I mean EVERY single one of them. Go ahead and look for yourself. Do a search for Trishelle, once you’ve found her, you’ve found them all. It’s impossible not to. They all are on each others friends list and they all write to each other. And they all post pictures from cast parties and appearances and the like. All very exciting stuff if you ask me.
-And the other reason I knew Svetlana had a MySpace page? Because apparently a law has been passed that if you’re under the age of 25, you must have one. Until the day I die, I will never understand the MySpace phenomenon. MySpace is like the new toy you got when you were a kid. Right when you sign up, you go crazy. Posting stupid crap to all your new friends, checking every 10 minutes when you’re at work, writing “Thanks for the add” a thousand times to strangers you don’t even know. Then after a while, you look back at your page, realize you barely talk to any of those people anymore, and you’re wondering to yourself, “Is there a reason why I at one point felt the need to publicly announce to people I have friends.” Very lame.
-MySpace should be for teenagers who are rebelling against their parents, perverts who are looking to get laid, and porn stars looking to promote their next DVD or website. Now, it does have some usefulness to it. Promoting your business, or if you want your music to be heard, or the big craze now is the MySpace Comedy stuff. Almost every good standup comedian has a MySpace page now where you can download their stuff. And that’s perfectly acceptable. But if you just use it to talk to your friends, uhhhhh, that’s why email was invented people. And cell phones. Why would anyone else care as you carry on a public conversation? Are you that starved for attention? Get a hold of yourselves people.
-Here’s my impression of Paula: KISS MY ASS!!!! Has she ever said anything different when she’s been drunk? Ever? I think my favorite Paula moment of the season, was this past week when her domestic abuser boyfriend Keith came to visit her. Her quote, “He’s exactly how I remembered him. His beautiful blue eyes.” Really? Did you remember his open hand slap to your face that once put you in the hospital too? Or how about all the lovely degrading things he‘s said to you on the phone that has made you hang up on him at least ten times this season. I’ll never understand Paula. Nor does anyone else I imagine.
RW/RR: FRESH MEAT
-Gotta love how we‘re already two down and two more to go with the Austin crew. Hey, I’m with ya’. I hate em’ too. What’s gonna happen when the Austin crew is gone? Any drama? I’m sure Tonya will start up with her antics at some point and start sleeping with the whole house, but who else? Coral I’m sure will get in a bitchfest with somebody. But outside of that, I don’t know who will end up being the talk of the house.
-Aren’t Danny and Melinda engaged? We saw the engagement on the Austin wrap-up show. He proposed to her in New York on a horse carriage. So why did they keep calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend? That was bizarre. This week Wes or Johanna is going home. And Johanna had my favorite quote of the show thus far when she told us last week that “Wes was a mess before I got my hands on him.” Uhhhh, what about now? He has a Mohawk. Nobody likes him. His ego is out of control. He keeps yelling at you for being stupid. And he’s sexist pig. Other than that, I couldn’t imagine a better boyfriend in the world.
LAST COMIC STANDING
-I‘m not happy with the final twelve. The six guys and six girls thing was a little too convenient for me. Women comedians are not funny. I’m sorry, but they’re not. They’re just not. If there were any, I‘d be the first to admit it. And some have a few good lines here and there, I’m not completely saying they’re all terrible, but there isn’t a single woman comedian out there who could hold my attention for more than 15 minutes. Other than Chelsea Handler.
-For those that don’t know, April Macie the redheaded chick who got booted last week, is Gary Gulman’s girlfriend. Gary finished 3rd in season two. And Gary’s agent is Barry Katz, who’s the executive producer of the show. So needless to say, there are a lot of politics behind the scenes as to who makes it into the house. Or, onto the boat this season. Those twelve finalists are not the twelve funniest people that tried out. No way. And that’s disappointing. “American Idol” is just as guilty. They’re casting people who can sing, but also have either a look or an interesting story that will appeal to America. “LCS” definitely is casting for who would make for good television within the house. But throwing six women in the house is utterly ridiculous. I’m serious.
-Stella might have been the most unfunny comedian I’ve heard. Ok, we get it. Your whole act is talking sh** about your husband. Ha ha. How original. You kill me. And that’s why you’re going home in week one. April Macie made it into the house for two reasons: she’s Gary’s girlfriend, and she had red hair, a big rack, and was goofy. They needed at least one piece of eye candy in the house. Bingo. I’ve been watching stand up comedy for years. I can remember being in 4th grade and taping Rodney Dangerfields HBO special and watching it over and over and over again after school until I memorized pretty much everyone’s act. So I think I have a good grasp on comedy and stand up in general. I’d be shocked if any of the women in the house could carry a crowd for a half hour set. Shocked.
-As for other shows, “Big Brother” I think starts this week. I won’t be watching. I’ve never seen five minutes of the show, so why start now? And this is an All-Star show where they’re bringing back all former players. Even more reason not to watch. Didn’t watch it the first time around, why now? Not saying the show isn’t any good, because I know a lot of you watch it, but “Big Brother” and the “Amazing Race” are two of the bigger reality shows I’ve never watched more than five minutes of. “Rockstar” starts next month as well. Can’t say I’ll be watching that either. Unless I hear about Tommy Lee shacking up with one of the female contestants, which I’m sure he will at some point.
-With the untimely passing of Aaron Spelling yesterday, I think it’s only fitting I do an Aaron Spelling tribute column/pod cast. Look for that next week. Until then…..
Reality Television Show Links
For those curious if iTunes is all set up, the answer is yes. Just go down the right hand column, underneath my picture, and click on the link that says "click here to subscribe in iTunes". Every time I post a podcast, it will be in your podcast library the next time you open up your iTunes. It's that easy. No need to go searching through an iTunes directory. Just click on the subscribe button on the right and you're all set. Trust me. And if it doesn't work, then well, back to the drawing board. If you subscribed after last weeks podcast, thank you, but delete that from your library and click on the link again. We had to reset the subscription. Everything should be working now.
In addition, all the archived columns/pictures/interviews from the old website before I went to Blogger is available once again. Down the right hand column, under the iTunes subscription link, there's an "Archived Columns" link which brings you back to the old homepage. From there you can access every column I've ever written on the site. Enjoy.
THE HILLS
-I said last week that Heidi is the star of that show. Why are they even focusing on LC. Look at what Heidi has managed to accomplish in three episodes: she dropped out of college, told counselor that she just wants attend celebrity parties, she crashed LC‘s first major even with Teen Vogue, got a job with Bolthouse, and within a week is already contemplating quitting. And she found a cure for hiccups. She told LC “Drink water upside down and put a pencil in your mouth”. Huh? Is that possible? If I tried that, not only would water run up my nose, but I would probably gag myself to death. Yet she is whats keeping me glued to this show. And have you noticed she sounds like Drew Barrymore?
-LC and Jasons relationship is pretty anticlimactic if you ask me. If you’ve read the internet, or picked up an US Weekly in the last year, you know these two have moved in together and were dating this whole time. But I guess for those that pay no attention to the outside world and only tune in every Wednesday night, I guess that storyline would entertain you.
-These two just aren’t interesting. Can we get her a new boyfriend? She’s gotta meet some new people through her job doesn’t she? Can’t she start dating Jake Gyllenhaal? Oh wait. He likes guys. Whatever. There’s gotta be someone out there for her. Wilmer Valderrama hasn’t hit that yet. And she’s right up his alley. Still in her teens, naïve, just moved to L.A. This is perfect material for him. And after he’s done with her, he can go running to the Howard Stern show to tell us all how she was in bed cuz he’s such a classy guy. Make it happen Wilmer. We’re counting on you.
-Are we supposed to believe that this was actually the first meeting between LC and Jason since she came to L.A.? Please. He called her at her home number, and he knew her address because he sent her those ugly looking flowers. And how is that possible that he could walk right into Teen Vogue, have the receptionist look right at him, and not ask who he was there to see or where to direct him? How did he know where her office was? Very believable. I love this show.
-LC said something that I wasn’t aware of. “Flowers mean I’m sorry, chocolates mean I love you.” That‘s B.S. I thought red roses meant love? And the yellow roses meant friendship? And daises meant “Have a lovely Day”? C’mon. They mean whatever you want them to mean or whatever you write in the card. And what if the chocolates you send are a box of Sees candy? I wouldn’t consider sending someone I loved a box of Sees. Someone needs to rethink this whole flowers vs. chocolates debate because I don’t agree with it. While we’re on the subject, what does lingerie mean then? Is it insinuating you don’t particularly like what she currently has? Or if she doesn’t have anything, is it more along the lines of, “You need to start wearing more of these lacey things”? And that starts a whole new argument.
RW: KEY WEST
-Svetlana and Paula are two of the biggest crazies this show has ever seen. Holy smokes. Svetlana did a pretty big photo spread in FHM recently. Then she put all the pictures on her myspace page as well. Are we really going to go out and buy the magazine with her in it, when I can see the pictures for free on her site? Explain the logic in that one? Do you think I want to read what you have to say, Svet? Frankly, there isn’t anything that comes out of Svetlana’s mouth which I find remotely interesting. Especially since it probably consists of her whining about something or yelling at her boyfriend that she hates.
-Now you may ask, “How did you know Svetlana had a myspace page?” I’ll tell you. Two reasons: EVERY Real Worlder has one. And I mean EVERY single one of them. Go ahead and look for yourself. Do a search for Trishelle, once you’ve found her, you’ve found them all. It’s impossible not to. They all are on each others friends list and they all write to each other. And they all post pictures from cast parties and appearances and the like. All very exciting stuff if you ask me.
-And the other reason I knew Svetlana had a MySpace page? Because apparently a law has been passed that if you’re under the age of 25, you must have one. Until the day I die, I will never understand the MySpace phenomenon. MySpace is like the new toy you got when you were a kid. Right when you sign up, you go crazy. Posting stupid crap to all your new friends, checking every 10 minutes when you’re at work, writing “Thanks for the add” a thousand times to strangers you don’t even know. Then after a while, you look back at your page, realize you barely talk to any of those people anymore, and you’re wondering to yourself, “Is there a reason why I at one point felt the need to publicly announce to people I have friends.” Very lame.
-MySpace should be for teenagers who are rebelling against their parents, perverts who are looking to get laid, and porn stars looking to promote their next DVD or website. Now, it does have some usefulness to it. Promoting your business, or if you want your music to be heard, or the big craze now is the MySpace Comedy stuff. Almost every good standup comedian has a MySpace page now where you can download their stuff. And that’s perfectly acceptable. But if you just use it to talk to your friends, uhhhhh, that’s why email was invented people. And cell phones. Why would anyone else care as you carry on a public conversation? Are you that starved for attention? Get a hold of yourselves people.
-Here’s my impression of Paula: KISS MY ASS!!!! Has she ever said anything different when she’s been drunk? Ever? I think my favorite Paula moment of the season, was this past week when her domestic abuser boyfriend Keith came to visit her. Her quote, “He’s exactly how I remembered him. His beautiful blue eyes.” Really? Did you remember his open hand slap to your face that once put you in the hospital too? Or how about all the lovely degrading things he‘s said to you on the phone that has made you hang up on him at least ten times this season. I’ll never understand Paula. Nor does anyone else I imagine.
RW/RR: FRESH MEAT
-Gotta love how we‘re already two down and two more to go with the Austin crew. Hey, I’m with ya’. I hate em’ too. What’s gonna happen when the Austin crew is gone? Any drama? I’m sure Tonya will start up with her antics at some point and start sleeping with the whole house, but who else? Coral I’m sure will get in a bitchfest with somebody. But outside of that, I don’t know who will end up being the talk of the house.
-Aren’t Danny and Melinda engaged? We saw the engagement on the Austin wrap-up show. He proposed to her in New York on a horse carriage. So why did they keep calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend? That was bizarre. This week Wes or Johanna is going home. And Johanna had my favorite quote of the show thus far when she told us last week that “Wes was a mess before I got my hands on him.” Uhhhh, what about now? He has a Mohawk. Nobody likes him. His ego is out of control. He keeps yelling at you for being stupid. And he’s sexist pig. Other than that, I couldn’t imagine a better boyfriend in the world.
LAST COMIC STANDING
-I‘m not happy with the final twelve. The six guys and six girls thing was a little too convenient for me. Women comedians are not funny. I’m sorry, but they’re not. They’re just not. If there were any, I‘d be the first to admit it. And some have a few good lines here and there, I’m not completely saying they’re all terrible, but there isn’t a single woman comedian out there who could hold my attention for more than 15 minutes. Other than Chelsea Handler.
-For those that don’t know, April Macie the redheaded chick who got booted last week, is Gary Gulman’s girlfriend. Gary finished 3rd in season two. And Gary’s agent is Barry Katz, who’s the executive producer of the show. So needless to say, there are a lot of politics behind the scenes as to who makes it into the house. Or, onto the boat this season. Those twelve finalists are not the twelve funniest people that tried out. No way. And that’s disappointing. “American Idol” is just as guilty. They’re casting people who can sing, but also have either a look or an interesting story that will appeal to America. “LCS” definitely is casting for who would make for good television within the house. But throwing six women in the house is utterly ridiculous. I’m serious.
-Stella might have been the most unfunny comedian I’ve heard. Ok, we get it. Your whole act is talking sh** about your husband. Ha ha. How original. You kill me. And that’s why you’re going home in week one. April Macie made it into the house for two reasons: she’s Gary’s girlfriend, and she had red hair, a big rack, and was goofy. They needed at least one piece of eye candy in the house. Bingo. I’ve been watching stand up comedy for years. I can remember being in 4th grade and taping Rodney Dangerfields HBO special and watching it over and over and over again after school until I memorized pretty much everyone’s act. So I think I have a good grasp on comedy and stand up in general. I’d be shocked if any of the women in the house could carry a crowd for a half hour set. Shocked.
-As for other shows, “Big Brother” I think starts this week. I won’t be watching. I’ve never seen five minutes of the show, so why start now? And this is an All-Star show where they’re bringing back all former players. Even more reason not to watch. Didn’t watch it the first time around, why now? Not saying the show isn’t any good, because I know a lot of you watch it, but “Big Brother” and the “Amazing Race” are two of the bigger reality shows I’ve never watched more than five minutes of. “Rockstar” starts next month as well. Can’t say I’ll be watching that either. Unless I hear about Tommy Lee shacking up with one of the female contestants, which I’m sure he will at some point.
-With the untimely passing of Aaron Spelling yesterday, I think it’s only fitting I do an Aaron Spelling tribute column/pod cast. Look for that next week. Until then…..
Reality Television Show Links
posted by reality steve at 6:29 PM
8 Comments:
These podcasts are hilarious!!!! I think u should do one everyday. People would love it. Keep up the great work. Can't wait to hear you again!!!!!
You said Wes was "sexiest". Please, please tell us you meant "sexist". I'm sure you did.
I did not know Aaron Spelling was once married to the actress who played Morticia on the Addams Family until I read his obituary.
Spelling was 90 years old. How is that "untimely"?
Sadly, I find you much funnier in print than on this podcast. Your column is always good for a giggle or two, but all of your charm was lacking when I listened to you drone on…and on…and on.
Maybe this podcast idea would work better if you had someone else to bounce your views off of? How about getting a co-host to shake it up a bit? I’d rather hear you argue your point than just listening to your rants.
Sorry Steve!
Did Steve lose his game show host mike?
Steve - Where are you? I realize it's summer and you probably have a jam-packed schedule, but I am going thru withdrawal without more timely posts from you!!!!!
Are you going to do any comments on Big Brother. The show is off to a great start. I would love to hear or read your feedback
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