MORE LETTERS....

Back with another few letters from the readers. Thanks for all the response, tell your friends, tell your mistresses, tell your parents...this column is gonna start sweeping the nation. Or something like that. Remember people, I am not a doctor. I just play one in this column. This is to advise, educate, and entertain. Maybe you'll listen to me, maybe you won't. But for the most part, I'm always right. Just remember that. Send any questions, comments, praises, criticisms, queries, and love thoughts to steve@realitysteve.com. "Reality Roundup" will be up next week as well. Enjoy....


Hi Steve,
I just read your letter about chest hair. Personally, I like chest hair and don't even mind a little back and butt hair as long as it doesn't look like it's from your local Carpeteria store. But can you tell me this? Why oh WHY do so many men (especially older men) ignore their overgrown eyebrow, nose, ear hair? I find that really gross because it's about basic grooming. I'm not crazy about the Hobbit look and I don't imagine too many other women are either. Why do guys ignore this very important part of grooming when all they have to do is look in the mirror?

Maria

Maria,
I'm glad you've alerted the rest of readers of this deadly epidemic sweeping the nation. So listen up all you unibrows out there. This is serious.

Look, I can't really say I've hung out with a lot of older men, but if she says there's a problem, there must be a problem. Unibrows are one of the most frightening things I've come across though. I look in the mirror every morning making sure I didn't grow one overnight. How do people who own unibrows not see this? And how can they not treat it if they do have it?

If you ever see a man with a unibrow....run. Run for your life. Run until you pass out. That thing will haunt you for years to come. Very unattractive. Put it this way, if you look like something that Adam Sandler made up as a Halloween costume, you know it can't be too flattering. Invest in a razor men. I'm embarrassed for you.

Mr. Perfectly Groomed


Hi, Steve,
I just read all the letters and your responses on your website – very funny!! You’re pretty good at the advice stuff and very brave!! Can’t believe the problems people have and how it seems to be a common thread between all of us middle-aged women.

Here’s a question for you: I have been divorced for 17 years – never remarried. My daughter was recently married and of course, my ex was there. He is going through his third divorce and I had a fleeting thought of trying to get back together with him. He hasn’t made any moves in that direction but we had a nice time at the wedding. Am I crazy? Is this a bad idea? He is actually living in another state so this may not work so good. I just don’t know how to approach this with him. We broke up in the first place because he cheated on me and he was a drunk. He’s been sober for 16 years so that’s not an issue.

Wait – I just read what I wrote. Never mind. I’m not crazy!!

Susan

Susan,
Yes, you're crazy. I'm kidding. I think.

I've never been married, but I have had ex's before. Have I ever wanted to get back together with them? Yes. In fact....forget it. No need to go there.

Now, are you talking about re-marrying him? Or just having some ex-sex for one night? You can never go wrong with ex-sex. EVER. I just wouldn't think that getting back together with an ex-husband from 17 years ago is probably the route you want to go. I'm sure he's a changed person, and he'll say and do all the right things at first, but, whatever problems that caused him to cheat on you then, will probably resurface now. You divorced him for a reason, and you had a kid in the picture. So it must've been a hard break-up. Remember, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." I wish women could get that through their head. And I'm not just picking on you, Susan. I'm speaking to the masses.

So in the end, I would say rekindling the flame with him long term is not a good idea. But if you and he are down for one night of ex-sex with no strings attached, I say go for it. Just don't let one night of passion cloud your brain into thinking its more than that. Have at it.

Hi Steve!
I love your new column, your answers are hilarious and the letters, well, they’re a little depressing, but you make the most of all of them. Bring back the podcasts!

So, I have a problem: I am having a hard time breaking up with my boyfriend of 4 months.

We had a very tumultuous relationship, characterized by fights from the beginning of our time together. We were very happy when we were happy, but he had a way of making me very upset and he would call me names, dig deeply into my past, and even broke into my old computer to find pictures of me with my boyfriend 3 years ago. He got so mad when he saw these that he threw the computer into a mirror and then busted my television.

Needless to say, I am beaten down by the relationship and am completely void of feeling for him and asked him to move out last week. It is my apartment that he’s shacking in right now.
He freaked out, mainly because he has horrible credit, no money (he hasn’t had a job for 6 months), which leaves him with nowhere else to go. He has paid me equal rent for last month and this month. I am willing to pay him whatever is owed to him for him to leave, though.

I have let him stay for a week, but I can’t even be around him anymore. I am so distanced from the relationship that I am a total bitch to him, I nag him, and everything he does annoys me to no end. I have begged him to move out, to leave, to stay with friends, anything, but he refuses to go. He will only talk about how much he loves me, how hurt he is that he screwed up so much, and how much he hopes that we can work it out. I tell him that I don’t feel anything, that we owe it to ourselves to move on, to find that perfect person for each other, etc etc… trying to make him realize that he should not want to be with me, but it doesn’t seem to work.

More and more, I feel scared with him there with me – you know, we’ve all heard those stories of crazed boyfriends physically hurting their girlfriends – “if they can’t have them, no one can”-type mentality, and I’m starting to have a hard time going to sleep with him in the apartment.

Thoughts on what I can do to get him to leave? I need a guy’s opinion. I think my girlfriends are adding to my fear…

Thanks,
Trapped in TX

Trapped in TX,
I think most people probably know where I'm gonna go with this. And since "Trapped" essentially knows what she has to do, here I come to save the day to get her to do it.

Throw his crap out on the lawn and say, "If you're not gone by tomorrow, I'm calling the cops." There. Problem solved.

I have to ask, when this guy went through your private emails, called you names, through your computer through a mirror and broke your television, how in the world did you forgive him? Someone breaks my TV, they might as well check themselves right out of my life. Did he at least re-pay you for it? I'm guessing not.

And now he's been jobless for 6 months, has horrible credit, and is sleeping on your couch. Damn, I can't believe you even lasted this long. So that means when you first met, this guy was still jobless. I'm really trying to understand why it's so hard to get rid of this guy. He's a loser. I think you can see that now. What immediately attracted him to you when you first met and he told you he was jobless? This I'd love to know.

I'm guessing you're feeling very sorry for him because it looks like he has nothing going for him, but he's bringing you down. Big time. He's miserable in his life, and he wants you to join in his misery. This guy offers nothing positive to you in your life right now at all. You have to cut him loose and move on. If he doesn't leave, you seriously need to consider calling someone to physically remove him from your place. You are dead on with your assessment about crazed ex-boyfriends. There's no doubt this guy carries all the characteristics that one might have. Get help, and get help soon.