-Ok, I officially hate the hour and a half shows. You do realize that every episode this season is going to be an hour and a half, donâ€™t you? Why? Who made this decision? No oneâ€™s watching this crap anymore, so they figured theyâ€™d make the show longer? Really? Brilliant idea. Someone should be fired over that decision. And oh yeah, in case you didnâ€™t know, regardless of what the ratings are for Andyâ€™s season here, and regardless of how it turns out, the â€œBachelorâ€ has already been renewed for the fall season. Iâ€™m still scratching my head on what they figure to accomplish by continuing to air this show, yet â€œThe Nineâ€ got cancelled after six episodes. That was one of the few promising shows of the new season. Boooooooooooo. Anyway, letâ€™s get started, Iâ€™ve got a boatload of crap to get to with that extra half hour to cover. A-holes.
-Host Chris immediately comes out to inform us there will be two group dates and a solo date. But he wants to give us the rules. Oooooh, rules now for the dates? When did this start? Is this where he informs the ladies they are prohibited from touching, grabbing, licking, stroking, or biting Andy below the waist? Oh. Guess not. Chris just informs them that no roses will be handed out on the group dates, each girl will get alone time with him, but Andy will choose one girl who he wants to spend a little extra alone time with. And the solo date goes to Stephanie from Whoreville because she received the first impression rose. Thatâ€™s lame. Those aren’t rules, Chris. Those are â€œthe producers needed to justify my paycheck for this show, so I have to come out and say this, even though a lot of my voice is dubbed in after the fact.â€
-First group date consists of Nicole, Tiffany, Alexis, the other Stephanie, Bevin, Amanda, and Tessa. Theyâ€™ll all be going to the Sunset Strip for a night on the town. Or as Dorky Andy put it: â€œOperation Soul Mate is about to beginâ€. Oh for christ sakes, shutup. Enough with the military references. Look, itâ€™s bad enough we have to deal with the â€œOfficer and a Gentlemanâ€ crap, and now youâ€™re making up your own â€œwarsâ€ to describe you finding a future girl you can dump once the show ends? I wonder how soldiers who fought in â€œOperation Iraqi Freedomâ€ feel about â€œOperation Soul Mateâ€? Iâ€™m curious to see if they feel itâ€™s just as difficult for you as it was for them? Weâ€™ve hit an all time low. â€œOperation Soul Mateâ€? I will now stick a spoon down my throat and scoop out the bile.
-Nicole states that â€œAndy is the total Bachelor. This is the guy you dream about.â€ He is? What exactly occurs in these dreams? Does he attack you with his fake wooden teeth? Does he take you to his class where he learned to be a ventriloquist? Outside of being able to move mountains, and swim across the Atlantic Ocean, and being Jack La Laneâ€™s illegitimate son, I donâ€™t think Andy has much else to offer. And the way he speaks bugs the piss out of me. Would it be ok if his mouth moved when he spoke? Am I asking too much here? And while youâ€™re at it Andy, the lint in my pocket called, it wants its personality back.
-Andy: â€œI like a girl who likes to get down and dirty and isnâ€™t afraid to break a nail.â€ Well, youâ€™ve gotta a couple in this bunch that certainly wonâ€™t mind that Captain Charisma. A couple could probably kick your ass. And mine. At the same time. With one hand tied behind their back. There are definitely a couple rough ones in this group. However, after getting an hour and a half worth of camera time to really study our remaining fifteen, there are definitely some cute ones that I missed in the first episode. And then thereâ€™s Double T – Tina and Tessa. Ummmmmâ€¦.uhhh, not so much. Iâ€™m sure they have great personalities. I justâ€¦wellâ€¦they bug. A lot. And maybe thatâ€™s detracting from their physical appearance. Hey, itâ€™s possible. These are my rules, I made them up, so let me be.
-So the girls go to that one bar on Sunset Strip that has the mechanical bull. Didnâ€™t one of the other Bachelors take his tramps here? I know theyâ€™ve done this before, I just canâ€™t remember which douche bag it was. Whatever. Theyâ€™re all the same. Still single and used the show to promote their career. Andy seemed really turned on by watching the girls ride a bull. Especially when it just vibrated and you could see whose chest bounced around the most. Or maybe that was just me. Whatever the case, Andy did admit to enjoying himself. Of course he did. Heâ€™s a guy and heâ€™s watching seven different women, all vying for his attention, straddling a bull while it vibrates beneath them. Glad that you like to objectify women like that Andy. Such a pig. Really disgusts me. Iâ€™d never do such a thing.
-Stephanie from Kansas, our blondie that likes to do back handsprings in her prom dress, well, how else can I put this without sounding tooâ€¦..ahhhh, screw itâ€¦sheâ€™d be a riot on top. She was the only one who lasted the whole time on the bull without falling offâ€¦.and she did it one handed! Which means that sheâ€™d be able to take her other hand andâ€¦..forget it. Good job Stephanie. Iâ€™m sure I wasnâ€™t the only man with impure thoughts last night. Andy sure was: â€œIâ€™m thinking I want to spend my extra alone time with Stephanie.â€ There you go again, you male whore. You think Stephanie wants to hear you talk about her in that way? You know for nine seasons, itâ€™s really been about finding true love, and guys who werenâ€™t looking for a piece of ass, and women that werenâ€™t into promoting their modeling careers. Now look what our precious show has turned into. Hot blondes riding bulls one handed and getting me all sweaty. Keep it comin!
-So after getting the ladies insides all mushy, Andy takes them up to a hotel room full of dresses for the evening. Tiffany canâ€™t believe it. â€œIâ€™ve never had a date take me to a room full of dresses before.â€ Of course you havenâ€™t Tiffany because youâ€™ve never been on the â€œBachelorâ€ before. Unless I missed you from some previous season. Has anyone whoâ€™s not been on this show ever gone to a room full of dresses to choose from? My guess is unless you played Julia Roberts in â€œPretty Womanâ€, then the answer would be â€œnoâ€. Or did he just buy her that one red dress to put on? I donâ€™t remember. Iâ€™ve chosen to forget everything about Julia Roberts the minute she married Lyle Lovett then named her newest babies something out of a fairy tale. Phinnaeus and Hazel? Canâ€™t wait tilâ€™ Phinneaus is all over the news for getting a Grade A ass kicking from his classmates when heâ€™s in about the third grade. Sucks for you, Phinn. Take it out on mommy. I think kids should have the right to sue their parents for crappy names.
-Andyâ€™s telling us about his ideal woman yet again: â€œI really dig a woman who can really be a tomboy and get down and dirty, but then, can put on a dress andâ€¦..â€ I stopped listening at this point. In twenty minutes, heâ€™s already told us twice he likes women who can get down and dirty. Are they showing us this for a reason? Why would they do that twice in twenty minutes? He likes dirty chicks, we get it. No dirty chick has ever gotten the final rose at the end. Never. Why would it start now? Do I really need to see some butch chick on the cover of my US Weekly in a few months? I sure hope not. I think Andyâ€™s confused about what he wants. I think Andyâ€™s confused about a lot of things actually. Including how heâ€™s gonna play off a marriage proposal at the end of the show when heâ€™s obviously gay. I didnâ€™t say that.
-So theyâ€™re all on a rooftop in their dresses talking to Andy, and he begins his alone time with the girls. Nicole is up first. She has a bad case of smokers voice. â€œI canâ€™t get over his teeth, and smile, and suit.â€ Nicole, it might not be such a bad thing if you cut down to two packs a day. You shouldnâ€™t have completely tarred lungs before you hit the age of 30. Andy is a health nut. Heâ€™s not gonna like that. And I found it hilarious that Andy and Nicoleâ€™s alone time happened about 10 feet away from the rest of the girls. Wow. What privacy. Iâ€™m sure Nicole felt special. Why not just sit her on your lap and do your ventriloquist routine with her as your puppet? Iâ€™m sure that wouldâ€™ve been good for a laugh or none.
-Itâ€™s time for Alexis to out herself while Andy and Nicole are 17 inches away from the rest of the pack. Alexis: â€œSo does everyone here kiss on the first date?â€ Alexisâ€™ says she wonâ€™t. Why you ask? Wellllllllll, because she â€œwas home schooled until she got to high school, she has strong moral values, sheâ€™s old fashioned, and sheâ€™s true to her conservative background.â€ Virgin Alert! Virgin Alert! Home schooled? People still do that? So needless to say, Alexis is kind of lacking in the social skills department. She doesnâ€™t have any. She didnâ€™t interact with people apparently until after she started her menstrual cycle. Good times, Alexis. Iâ€™m sure thatâ€™s never played a role in your being single. Look, Iâ€™m sure sheâ€™s a great gal, and Iâ€™m sure her family loves her, and sheâ€™s a strong independent woman, andâ€¦â€¦why did we cast her on this show again? The minute producers saw her application and in the section that said â€œEducationâ€ and she checked â€œin my living roomâ€, it shouldâ€™ve been thrown in the trash. Home schooled tilâ€™ high school AND a virgin? Thatâ€™s the biggest double whammy this show has ever seen. We can deal with Sadie the Virgin. Not Alexis the conservative, home schooled virgin with the strong moral values.
-Time for the girls take off those dresses and get into their bikiniâ€™s – itâ€™s hot tub time! Although Andy is a bit confused. Shocker. Andy: â€œThe girls looked amazing in their dresses, but I donâ€™t know whatâ€™s better – dresses or bikiniâ€™s?â€ Let me help you out here pal. And this coming from a heterosexual man, maybe you wonâ€™t understand, but itâ€™s bikiniâ€™s. Hey, nothing wrong with a really pretty dress that really makes a woman stand out, but ummmm, well, a bikini means sheâ€™s closer to being naked. And nakedness leads to other things which I choose not to discuss in this manner because itâ€™s inappropriate, classless, and their may be youngsters reading this. Just know itâ€™s a good thing. Yay nakedness. Donâ€™t worry, Andy. Someday. And heâ€™ll be the most attractive man youâ€™ve ever seen.
-Bevin finally gets her alone time with Andy and her takes her into the big kids pool where she wraps her legs around him, they kiss underwater, and we get to see her Chinese tattoo she has on the back of her right shoulder. I could care less what they did in the pool. It was all a front. Iâ€™m having a major problem with Bevin right now. I cannot decide if I think sheâ€™s attractive or not. Literally it bothered me all show that I could watch her for an hour and a half and still be undecided. Usually I know within twelve seconds whether or not I find someone attractive. Bevin? Iâ€™m clueless. On one hand, she kinda has facial features of Jen Schefft, yet on the other hand, she kinda looks like a dude. Androgenous Bevin is what Iâ€™ll call her. And Iâ€™ll let you know when Iâ€™ve come to my final decision on her attractiveness. I have a feeling it wonâ€™t be anytime soon.
-For god knows what reason, Andy chose Tiffany for his extra alone time. His reasoning? â€œTiffany was one of the shier women in the group. So I wanted to give her the chance to shine.â€ And what a waste of time that turned out to be. Did someone notify Tiffany she was being videotaped? Was she aware she was participating in a show called the â€œBachelorâ€? Iâ€™ve had better conversations with my pillow than those two had together. And trust me, my pillow and I have gotten into some very deep stuff. In fact, Iâ€™m sure weâ€™ll be having yet another one tonight. What will it revolve around? Of course. Women. They never cease to amaze. Anyway Tiffany, feel free to act like you like boys. It might help your chances if you ever decide to do another dating show in the future.
-Date Box #2 has Kate, Susan, Erin, Tina, Amber, Danielle and Peyton being given workout clothes. Because Andy likes to work out, in case you didnâ€™t know. You didnâ€™t? Well, heâ€™s gonna tell us. Again. â€œAthletics are a big part of my life. Iâ€™m also a 6 time Ironman Triathlon finisher.â€ Really? We hadnâ€™t heard. Good that you let us in on that or else weâ€™d think you kept your body all nice and tight for some guy or something. Susan tells us right away that sheâ€™s not into the whole exercising/working out thing. All she does is jog with her dog three times a week. Thatâ€™s her exercise for the year. If this wasnâ€™t a sign she was doomed, I didnâ€™t know what is. Well, either this, or that her and Erin were lesbians. One of the two.
-So Andy tells the ladies they will compete in a mini-triathlon for his affection. And when he says â€œminiâ€, he means â€œLike any of you peasants could possibly compete at the level that I do on a daily basis, so Iâ€™m gonna make you compete in an obstacle course designed for 4th gradersâ€. The mini triathlon consisted of 4 laps in a pool about 10 yards long, riding on the stationary bike, then run 5 laps around the outer edge of the pool. It was quite an interesting dynamic. All the girls were into it except Erin and Susan who didnâ€™t want to get their hair wet, so they walked the 4 laps in the pool. And then promptly pleasured each other poolside. Iâ€™m kidding. I think. Wouldnâ€™t be surprised. If there ever was an uncut DVD version of this season, I bet weâ€™d see these two going at it like dogs in heat.
-Danielle was the first girl off the bike to start her laps, but Amber was 2nd and caught her, passed her, and ended up winning. She must be beat. I mean, all that swimming, biking, and running. Just the woman Andy was looking for. And apparently Andyâ€™s exactly what sheâ€™s looking for. Amber: â€œAndy is like a little kid living inside this 30 year old muscular body.â€ Is she hanging out with the same Andy weâ€™re seeing? Or is she just being paid to say nice things about him? Maybe I missed the â€œlittle kidâ€ side of Andy that Amber sees. I wonder if that â€œlittle kidâ€ is still playing grab ass on the playground with all his other little male friends. And then touching each others wieners in the bathroom. This is getting disturbing. Andy needs to come clean right now before this show, and this column, gets completely out of hand. Just admit it, pal. You like 25 women, but you prefer 25 men in uniform.
-So Stephanie from South Carolina will obviously be this seasonâ€™s whipping girl that all the other ones talk about. Why? Oh, I donâ€™t know. Maybe because they went to commercial earlier with Chris saying, â€œEveryone hates Stephanie from South Carolinaâ€¦.except Andy.â€ Or maybe itâ€™s the fact that sheâ€™s the outspoken, obnoxious chick with the fake rack and moles that you can play connect-the-dots with? Donâ€™t believe me? Stephanie: â€œI got the first impression rose, I got the first date, and when I get back from my date, Iâ€™m gonna run in the house with my rose.â€ Very subtle, Steph. Iâ€™m glad youâ€™re being so humble about the whole experience and arenâ€™t looking to win this thing at all. Her and Alexis are currently battling for top spot in â€œReality Steveâ€™s Largest Gumsâ€ competition. And since Stephanieâ€™s gonna be around just a little bit longer, I guess Stephanie wins. Congrats, Gummy. Youâ€™re the first ever recipient.
-So after trying on a dress that would make a prostitute jealous, she decides on a longer, more formal one which accentuates the ten grand she spent on her rack. She meets Andy aboard his yacht and they immediately head to the bow where champagne awaits. So since â€œTitanicâ€ came out, any televised date that involves a boat or yacht must also include the both dating parties to re-enact the â€œKing of the Worldâ€ scene. This must be in some contract or something since everyone does it. So these two do it and Stephanie sticks out her chest for all of America to see. Andy is Jack, and Stephanie is Rose. And I just jammed a wine bottle opener into my temple. Now, I know how much women love that movie, but ladies, you ask any guy out there if they enjoyed it, and heâ€™s lying to you if he says â€œyesâ€. That movie was strictly made for your gender and your gender only. We wouldnâ€™t sit through that if we knew sex, an apple pie, and the morning paper would be waiting for us afterwards. And if you ask me, Jack wussed out on Rose. He told her heâ€™d never leave her, then instead of kicking someone already dead off a piece of wood to have for himself, he sits there and freezes himself. What a hero. I still canâ€™t believe the troubled kid from â€œGrowing Painsâ€ ended up becoming the hottest male actor on the planet. I wonder if Kirk and his perm are jealous. Of course heâ€™s not. Heâ€™s off thumping his Bible with wifey and their nine kids.
-Stephanie and Andy are already discussing wedding plans. Stephanie: â€œWhatâ€™s your ideal wedding?â€ Andy: â€œItâ€™d be a Hawaiian wedding. What about yours?â€ Stephanie: â€œI want a small wedding.â€ Andy: â€œAll right, weâ€™re having a small wedding.â€ Look, I know he said it in jest, and itâ€™s not quite the same as Byron toasting Tanyaâ€™s family â€œTo Christmas in Texasâ€, but still. If Stephanie wasnâ€™t gonna be around for a while, thereâ€™s no way in hell heâ€™d even joke about something like that. So to all the other ladies in the house, you might have to deal with Stephanie and her moles for a few more weeks. And her fake rack. They ainâ€™t goinâ€™ anywhere anytime soon. “Andy and Gummy sittin in a treeâ€¦”
-Gummy is at it again. â€œI got the first impression rose, I got the first date, and I got the first kiss.â€ Oh yeah, they kissed in the hot tub when her flotation devices were in their peak form. And although Andy has .00001% body fat on him, his chest is all jacked up. But enough about Andyâ€™s chest, because Stephanie is freaking out about how well her date went. She practically climaxes when getting back into the limo and screams â€œHeâ€™s so awesoooooooooome! I canâ€™t wait to see him again.â€ So you can slut yourself out even more? I donâ€™t think itâ€™s possible. Stephanie really seems to like her chances at this point. And who can blame her? Sheâ€™s the only girl heâ€™s kissed, Andy can do a full workout just playing with her cans, and sheâ€™ll give it up at the drop of a hat. What gay man wouldnâ€™t love to be all over that?
-Time for the girls to make their final impression on Andy before Rose Ceremony time. Only three are getting eliminated tonight? Fifteen down to twelve? Man, not only are these episodes a half hour longer, judging by this pace, weâ€™ll be seeing Andy propose right around the time summer rolls around. This is not good. Someone get on the horn to ABC and tell them to cut this out. Iâ€™m not happy about where this is headed. They have NEVER gone from fifteen girls down to just twelve in episode two. Maybe itâ€™ll be like â€œSurvivorâ€ and theyâ€™ll go with the final three, instead of two. Ok, maybe not. But I can hope.
-At the cocktail party, Gummy knows sheâ€™s safe, so sheâ€™s gonna have a little fun at Alexisâ€™ virgin expense. Gummy knows Alexis is a virgin, and is trying to get her to admit it. Gummy: â€œIve been dumped for a virgin beforeâ€¦.Who here is a virgin?â€ What a b***h. If Alexis werenâ€™t home schooled and could figure out what you were onto, Iâ€™d say she had every right to slap you across the face. Stephanie: â€œAlexis has the upper hand right now, sheâ€™s a virgin. What guy wouldnâ€™t want that?â€ Well, apparently Andy. He likes emâ€™ down and dirty remember? You should. Heâ€™s told us that three times tonight. Alexis doesnâ€™t tell Andy sheâ€™s a virgin, but does tell him she was engaged before, but didnâ€™t get married because â€œdivorce isnâ€™t an optionâ€. Andy agreed. The institution of two men united as one should never be torn apart if he has any say about it.
-Erin and Susan both made their last ditch effort to save their relationshipâ€¦.until Andy came by and sat between them. If these two arenâ€™t an item right now, something is seriously wrong. No two women in this showâ€™s history have become as touchy feely as these two have. And frankly, Iâ€™m all for it. Quit getting in their way, Andy. Theyâ€™re not here for you. Theyâ€™ve found each other and itâ€™s a beautiful sight to watch develop. In fact, there is a lot of money to be made in a possible movie for these two. So unless youâ€™re willing to play the role of the pizza delivery guy, back off. Theyâ€™ve got a career ahead of them. Cue the music! â€œBow-chicka-bow-bowâ€â€¦.
-Andy goes philosophical on us: â€œEverything would be perfect about this night if I didnâ€™t have to send three women home. Iâ€™m a healer and a doctor, and the thought of instilling some pain in people doesnâ€™t go well with my heart and mind.â€ Touching Andy, touching. That really gets right to the core of who you are as a person, a healer, and a doctâ€¦..wait, this guyâ€™s a doctor! Holy crap! Why havenâ€™t they mentioned this yet? Weâ€™re two episodes in and youâ€™d think weâ€™d know this by now, wouldnâ€™t you? Amazing. And a healer? So he can just heal people no matter what their problem is? The fact that he calls himself a healer really bothers the hell out of me. Sounds quite self absorbing if you ask me. But who am I to judge? I had 19â€™9â€ inscribed on the back of my lettermanâ€™s jacket in high school.
-Tessa got some alone time with Andy so she could tell him the one about why did the chicken cross the road. Actually, she cornered him so they could each give each other foot rubs. Believe it or not, Andy was excited. â€œTessa showed me something she hadnâ€™t showed me yet – some affectionâ€. Translation: I was hoping sheâ€™d show me her boobs. This foot thing is kinda creepy. Then Danielle is up next and says her right ear still had water in it from swimming that day, so Andy gave her a wet willie – with his tongue. Awwwwwâ€¦.how romantic. Danielle is on the radar now as someone to watch out for. Sheâ€™s good looking, athletic, and has the whole â€œI had someone in my family who died recently too so maybe that means we should do itâ€ thing going on about her. That could work to her advantage.
-Androgenous Bevin makes her last pitch by saying sheâ€™s been on her own since she was 15, is 28 now, and is looking for the same thing that Andy is looking for: a man to fall in love with. Over an hour into the episode and Iâ€™m still on the fence with Bevin. Part of me wants to jump on top of her, and part of me just wants to throw a football around the yard with her. When am I going to get an answer on this? Iâ€™ve never struggled with something like this my whole life. And the name Bevin certainly isnâ€™t helping. For peteâ€™s sake, if her name was Cinnamon itâ€™d be a no-brainer. Iâ€™m having a real hard time closing my eyes and being intimate with something named Bevin.
-Back to Tessa for a moment because sheâ€™s becoming overwhelmed with the show. She leaves the party and heads upstairs to cry. Why? Well, because according to her, â€œI got sick of seeing fourteen girls dating the same guyâ€¦.it would almost be better if maybe I didnâ€™t get a rose.â€ Yeah, it would. Then we wouldnâ€™t have to listen to this nonsense anymore. You joined the â€œBachelorâ€ thinking what? On the first night heâ€™d tell the other 24 to pack their bags because he found the one he wanted, and that one was you? Tessa, the girl with the bad jokes and small toes. Not quite honey. ABC needs to milk eight episodes out of this abortion. Nothing in life is that easy. So go crack open your joke book for 2nd graders and see if you can impress again.
-Rose Ceremony time, but not before Andy tells the losing ladies tonight what theyâ€™re future holds for them. â€œThank for these last few daysâ€¦.taking a risk with meâ€¦.donâ€™t take it personal if I send you homeâ€¦I believe in trule loveâ€¦and that person is out there for you.â€ Geez. Being a little presumptuous arenâ€™t we, Andy? Why donâ€™t you keep your opinions to yourself, ok Lieutenant? Thank you. Now give out your stupid roses.
-Eleven are given away since Stephanie the moley chick with the giant rack has already gotten her rose.
Tessa: What?!! Why?!!! Because she rubbed your feet?
Danielle: Nothing says â€œIâ€™m into youâ€ more than a wet willie.
Androgenous Bevin: She has the breasts that youâ€™d see on a female body builder. Or maybe it was just the dress. Man, Iâ€™m struggling with this one.
Amber: That was a given. She won the Triathlon. Kinda mousy looking.
Stephanie: The â€œotherâ€ Stephanie. The one who does back handsprings and looks better that Ms. Mole.
Kate: When he announced her name, she said, â€œShutup!â€ Some confidence she had. Iâ€™m guessing sheâ€™s not around too much longer.
Nicole: My guess to be the one in the ambulance next week. Either her or Tessa.
Tina: Canâ€™t explain this pick. Meeting his Asian quota? I donâ€™t know.
Peyton: Another cute girl whoâ€™s a professional sorority recruiter. Donâ€™t know if thatâ€™ll be up to Andyâ€™s standards. Probably not.
At this point, Erin turns to her lover Susan and says, â€œI think weâ€™re both going homeâ€, as Host Chris steps in for his final line of the night. â€œLadies, Andy, after dissecting the Pythagorean Theorem backstage, Iâ€™ve come to the conclusion that 11 minus 10 equals 1. This is the last rose of the night.â€
Erin: Her and Susan make out and fondle each other one last time before Erin moves on and Susan goes home. It was a very sad, touching, and erotic moment.
-So Tiffany the Bore, Alex the home schooled, old fashioned, strong moral valued virgin, and Susan the lesbian were sent home. And for the first time in I canâ€™t remember how many years, they didnâ€™t show one of them crying hysterically. Iâ€™m sure that really boosted Andyâ€™s ego. These women donâ€™t even care theyâ€™re being sent home. Well, Susan started tearing up a bit, but we all know what that was for. She wouldnâ€™t get to pleasure Erin tonight.
-Next week they show Peyton and Tessa on a 2-on-1 date, meaning one of them will get a rose, and the other goes home. Oops. I guess that would eliminate Tessa from possibly being in that ambulance next week. If he picks Tessa over Peyton, something is wrong. Severley wrong. That one is a no-brainer.
-To update those who are visiting the MySpage page at: http://www.myspace.com/StevieC24. I did some re-arranging yesterday, I’ve since put up a video of my niece taken at Christmas time. Funny stuff, if you like seeing 2 1/2 year olds take a header on the slide. I also played musical chairs with my top friends list. Not because I felt some people were more important than others, not because I felt some people were less important than others – but because I could. So whatever you do, don’t take offense if you were up there before and now aren’t, or vice versa. I could care less where people are on my friends list, but since I hadn’t changed it in about 4 months, I was bored and had fun playing with my mouse. No, that wasn’t a sexual reference, believe it or not. I’m looking to possibly start up Dr. Reality Steve again, I’ve just stopped receiving emails about that, hence the reason there hasn’t been a column in a while. So any questions, comments, queries, advice, dilemmas, or horrible ex stories you may have, email them to me at: firstname.lastname@example.org, and yours could appear in the next edition of Dr. Reality Steve.
-Reality Roundup you ask? Uhhh, sure. Itâ€™ll be here sometime this week. I have half of it written. I just need to sit down and write the other half. But Iâ€™m not going to give a day on when itâ€™ll be up since I have trouble keeping my word when it comes to things like that. Pardon me. Until next weekâ€¦.