Let’s start off by once again mentioning the event this Saturday night in downtown Dallas at the Palomar Hotel for the “CAP” Foundation (Child Abuse Prevention). I’ve been asked to be a “celebrity” guest at the event for which I immediately accepted. Still not too late to donate in any way you can by visiting their home page here. I’ve never asked much of my readers, but this is for a good cause. If you’re heading to the event, then definitely find me and say hi. If not, any donation to this center would help. Non-profit organizations work off your generosity, and the stories I’ve heard already since getting involved make me sick to my stomach. One imparticular was they recently had to take in a 14 year old mom who was a victim of rape because the mother kicked her out. So whatever you can do would be grateful.
Moving on to brighter topics, let’s hope that “Idol” gets rid of this “only two judges speak a time” nonsense. How ridiculous was that? Yes, I realize you have four judges now, but maybe you cut back other little stupid things than the judges comments. No surprise that Simon and Paula got to do 4 of the 7 singers as they mixed in their reviews around their “touchiness” all night. More on that later. I mean, I realize you they went over by five minutes last week and everyone who recorded it missed Adam’s performance, but, there are better ways to remedy that situation other than cutting off judges comments. It just felt different last night and something I bet they don’t do again. Look, next week you have six singers. If you can’t have six performances in an hour followed by four judges comments, then you don’t know how to reign in your talent.
I would hate to see Quentin Tarantino without seven pots of coffee in him. Holy crap. I get jittery just watching him get jittery onscreen. And what kinf of hair style was he rockin’ last night? It was like he stole Moe Howards bowl hair cut then cut his own hair afterwards. Weird, weird, weird guy. Norm MacDonald did the best impression of him back in the day on “Saturday Night Live”. Nailed it. And speaking of “SNL”, I would like to formally announce that the “Jon Bovi” guys are my new favorite recurring sketch on the show. Hilarious. I’ve been an “SNL” guy for over 15 years now. There isn’t a bigger fan and critic of that show than me, and I can admit, those guys have me laughing every time. It seems pretty easy to write, but the way the execute it is flawless. Good stuff. “Cuz I’m an Indian, on a cotton horse I don’t not ride. And I’m unwanted, Alive and Dead.” On to last nights performances.
Allison Iraheta, “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”: It seemed like she did a lot of screaming in this one again, yet Simon and Paula loved her so I’ve pretty much given up on her critique. She obviously does nothing for me, I don’t think she comes across as very likable, yet they think she has a chance to win it. Go figure. I highly doubt she’ll make the finals. When Simon tells her she’s the only female hope, isn’t that kinda like saying “Hey, you’re the best looking pig.” Considering there were only four other women in the final thirteen, saying she’s the best up against Jasmine, Megan, Alexis (who she isn’t better than), and Lil Rounds, I don’t know if I’d take that as a compliment. To each their own, but I just don’t get it with her and never will.
Anoop Desai, “Everything I Do (I’d Do it For You)”: One of his better performances. Especially since he didn’t completely butcher a very recognizable song. Had a lot of upper lip sweat going though. Was it hot in there? Either that, or he got steamed up from all the sexual heat coming from over where Simon and Paula were sitting. Did you notice Simon’s hand was on her leg for the first two performers, and then when Anoop was singing, Paula had her arm around him? Geez, is she that hard up for action now that her younger meat restaurant guy dumped her? If you’re a young entrepreneur in your early 30’s running a restaurant in Beverly Hills, then wouldn’t try and pull better tail than Paula Abdul? My God, I can only imagine the drama and baggage that chick brings to the table. Not to mention painkillers.
Adam Lambert, “Born to be Wild”: Mixed feelings on it. I almost like it better when he slows things down. But the performances where he’s doing his Axl Rose, the lights are flashing, the cameras moving quickly, it’s just all too theatrical for me. I understand that’s his act, but as Simon said, half the people will love that performance and half the people won’t care for it. I didn’t care for it. And Paula was in rare form with her comments. Paula: “Fortune rewards the brave.” “Dare to dance in the path of greatness.” Huh? Who wrote those for her? Or did she get those from a fortune cookie at the Geisha House on Hollywood Blvd before the show started? I have no idea what she was wearing or what she was saying last night. Nothing at all.
Matt Giraud, “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman”: I realized after last nights performance what Matt’s problem is: He doesn’t think he can win. He looks scared up there sometimes. Well, he did last night at least. When you watch Adam and Danny perform, they own the stage. Matt just kinda does his thing, sometimes good, sometimes ok, but he never commands a stage, and that’s gonna hurt him. The song was a little too close to the original as well. With his talent, I thought he’d mix it up a bit to be honest. I hope he can stick around another week because he seems to follow up an average performance with a real good one, but his inconsistency is gonna have him in serious trouble tonight.
Danny Gokey, “Endless Love”: Once again, Simon was dead on with this one. I actually thought this was the first time that Danny, even though he has that distinct voice of his, really did nothing with a song. He sang it just like the original and, as well as he sang it, it was just good, not great. Now, I have no doubt why he chose that song since I’m sure it was some sort of dedication to his wife, so in that aspect, I can’t criticize the guy. The performance was good for me, but actually I was expecting more. I’m surprised he didn’t do anything with it. Hey Danny, what kind of artist are you? Who is Danny Gokey? Hey, finally we went a week without someone saying that. Then again, Kara only got to judge three of the seven contestants, so maybe that’s why.
Kris Allen, “Falling Slowly”: Never heard of this song and it seemed like he sang in the same exact key the whole time. Pretty boring if you ask me. Hey, were there any good performances tonight? I’m gonna have a tough time picking out a top three. As likable as he is, that was a forgettable performance and I think he’s in serious trouble as well. It’s almost like he’s singing every song for his wife and not singing to the millions of viewers who are actually voting. That could be his downfall.
Lil Rounds, “The Rose”: I was texting a lot during this song, so I can’t really say I paid attention that much. From what I heard, it was really nothing original, I’ve heard the song a million times, and even though she tried to throw some gospel in there, it didn’t sound like it really changed much up at all. And oh yeah, Paula was at it again. Paula: “The road is really long but it is worthwhile taking.” Uhhhhh, ok. But how’d she sing you idiot? Simon gave it to her like he should’ve and then Lil, having been criticized three weeks in a row for not being any good, basically got sick of it and fought back. That’s never a good thing on this show. Regardless of if you disagree with the judges, just nod your head, say “thank you”, stick up how many fingers you need to to get people to vote for you, then be on your way. You could tell Lil was pissed and frustrated. Whatever. Just keep quiet up there and don’t talk back.
Reality Steve’s Top 3 Performances:
1. Anoop Desai
2. Danny Gokey
3. Jon Bovi
Reality Steve’s Bottom 3 Performances:
1. Kris Allen
2. Matt Giraud
3. Lil Rounds
Reality Steve’s Bottom 3 Prediction:
1. Kris Allen
2. Matt Giraud
3. Allison Iraheta
Reality Steve’s Prediction of Who Will Get Eliminated: Whew. Toughest one to date since there was really no clear cut favorite last night. I’m gonna go with Kris Allen. For no other reason than I don’t want to see Matt leave yet, and Allison still has her teenie boppers voting for her. Let’s not forget something very important about these voting shows. When someone gets eliminated, and people get all up in arms of, “Oh my God! I can’t believe so-and-so got voted off!” It’s not that they got the most amount of votes to go home. It’s just the people voting voted for their favorites over that person. I think that’s a concept lost on a lot of people. When you pick up the phone and vote for Danny Gokey, you’re not saying you hate Kris Allen and want to see him leave, you’re just saying you liked Danny Gokey. Let’s all remember that children.
Back on Friday with another “Reality Roundup.” Yes, I am all caught up on “The Hills” and I have a TON of venom to spew about that abortion of a show. Seriously, I feel like punching the TV every time I watch it. I think I hate every person on that show outside of Lauren, who the show is supposed to be about, yet, it doesn’t even cover the two biggest things going on in her life. More on that Friday. Once again, any questions, comments, emails, praises, criticisms, questions/concerns/queries for the next mailbag, send them all to firstname.lastname@example.org. Comment away, donate to the CAP Center, and never buy Maddie a toy. Apparently she could care less that I buy her the exact same toy she loves playing with in the kennel. I buy it, bring it home with me, and she looks like she’s never seen it before. Unbelievable. See you Friday.