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The Bachelorette 5 Recap – 6/22/09

Harrison loves to shop!

An interesting week to say the least. For those that only come here on Tuesdays for the column, there have been three developments regarding the site since last week. They are:

1) We have now added a banner over here in the right hand column that is a direct link to the merchandise store. And due to the interest we’ve been receiving in it, we’ve decided to add a little something. Stay tuned in the following days for more information. In addition, if you order this week, we will actually be able to get it out a lot quicker than usual.

2) Jason Mesnick decided to call me out during a radio interview this past Friday. I’m not going to re-hash it. I posted the 2 minute audio clip of what he said and my thoughts yesterday. For the record, I’m pretty much done with it. He said this thing, I retorted, now it’s done. Jason apologists and his fans will back him and think I’m lying, and my fans will back me and think Jason is a douchenozzle. That’s expected. But I have no plans to revisit this anytime soon. What’s done is done. Lets move on. But thanks for purchasing the baby blue “I Love Reality Steve” shirt, Jason. Looks great on you. Ha ha.

3) The interviews with Holly and DeAnna are done. Actually, Holly’s was done before I even wrote last weeks column, and her interview will go up tomorrow. I’m aiming for Friday to air DeAnna’s, which we recorded last Thursday night. I think you’re going to enjoy both of them. I’m surprised quite a few of you think you already know what’s going to be in both of them and are jumping to conclusions. Especially all the Jesse lovers out there. I hate to disappoint you, but that’s not why these interviews were done despite what you think. Yes, the topic of Jesse is brought up and we learn a couple things here and there, but if you think this was done as a complete rip job to throw him under the bus, you couldn’t be more wrong. We even have a surprise during DeAnna’s interview. Two of them, actually.

-Host Chris is back in all his Nordstrom’s glory this week with the sport jacket, long sleeve collared shirt, and faded jeans. Doesn’t look a day older than twenty-five. Or unlike any of the eight guys we have left. And Chris is doing what he does best, ripping me in his blog. Ha ha. Kidding (Especially in his blog today, since he wastes no time starting to recap the episode and not referencing any of the numerous things I’m right about this season. Good job, Chris. Now tell your boy Jason to move on too). No, he’s actually paying attention to the show and announcing what kind of dates there’ll be, how they’ll play out, what city they’re in, where they’re headed, and what a train does. They will all be boarding the Rocky Mountaineer train. Hey, is Rocky Mountaineer friends with Thomas the Train? Just asking. There will be one group date, and two 1-on-1’s. And since we have 30 men this season, there will be five guys getting hometown dates, something I reported in the first column of the season. But hey, everything I write is lies, so why would you believe me? (Side note: In his blog, Chris talks about a pretty funny line that Tanner had which never made the air. Tanner obviously said this when Chris wasn’t around. So, Chris is told of a funny comment that Tanner made when he wasn’t around, yet, no one decided to inform him last week that Ed left the show? Uh huh).

-For no reason whatsoever, before the dates get started Jillian just randomly throws in there, “I still miss Ed.” He’s never brought up again the rest of the episode, nor is he talked about amongst the other guys. So yeah, they’re playing the foreshadowing card once again. I have never claimed to know everything that goes on with this show because I don’t. I tell you what I know. But the Ed thing, even if I didn’t know, I could’ve figured out. Why? Ummm, because I have two eyes. And I know the way this show works. It works in storylines. It leads you down one path so you can start believing one thing, so then it can spring something else on you later down the road. I’ll get into it more later regarding Wes, but if you can’t see how badly he was edited tonight, I don’t know what to tell you. Not that I’m a fan of Wes by any means, but it was fairly obvious tonight they edited him in a way that made him say those things. If you listened closely, so many of his lines were said without the camera on him, and you know those were just set up and spliced in to make him look bad. Once again, for a storyline. Oh sure, he said it. But I guarantee it wasn’t said in a way that was presented. And this is coming from a guy who admittedly isn’t a Wes fan. I just know he got shafted on the editing tonight.

-First 1-on-1 date is with Wobby. I call him that because, well, that’s how he comes across to me. Rob is macho. Robby is a bartender. Wobby is a bartender who says things like, “My mentality going into this date is ‘I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…get that rose tonight.’” Lord that was stupid. Did he really just say that? All he needed to do to top that off would be to yell “Choo! Choo!” as he pretends to yank on the horn as the conductor of the train. Wobby is kind of a little dork who really doesn’t seem the most comfortable around people with breasts. He and Michael should get together and go bowling with John Bender and Andrew Clarke’s fathers. Yesssss!!!!! My first “Breakfast Club” reference of the season. Top five teen movies of all time. So Jillian takes Wobby out to one of the sidecars to get a view of all the mountains, trees, and lakes they’re passing. Wobby can’t believe he’s actually on a real train and not one that he plays with in his garage. Weeeeeee!!!!! Then the train goes shooting through a tunnel, and Jillian lets out one of her proverbial ziplining screams which makes my ears bleed. Has she never been in the dark before? Really? I guess she likes it with the lights on.

-Wobby and Jilli go back inside since she has a great place for them to eat dinner tonight. In the caboose. Oh, I bet that horny Canadian likes it in the caboose. Hell, she likes being bombed every episode as it is, what’s wrong with a little backdoor action. Over dinner, Wobby pretty much seals his fate. “I have three older brothers, none of whom are married. In fact, they’ve never been engaged. We call it the ‘Descant Curse’.” Fabulous, Wob. How about next you tell her about how you never kissed a girl til senior year of high school, didn’t get laid til after college, and sleep with a teddy bear because the nighttime gives you the “spookies”. Yes, eventually Jillian would’ve found this out if she had given him a hometown date, but I can’t imagine he thought telling her something like that would sit well with her. And oh yeah, he also threw in he’s 25, hasn’t been in a relationship in a couple years, and he’s in between bartending jobs. And his best line of the night, “love doesn’t have a job”. Awesome. You’ll be loving yourself plenty of nights if you can’t find a source of income, buddy. Hey, screw Jillian. This sounds like the ideal person to be our next “Bachelor”. Wobby, you should’ve just jumped off the moving train to spare yourself the pain. I can’t imagine why Jillian wasn’t up for that.

-Jillian: “You are somebody that I totally would marry. In 5 or 10 years.” Ouch. Yeah, and even that was a lie. That was just her easy way of letting him down. If she throws in, “I’d totally marry you” before that, he doesn’t feel as bad about where he is in life right now. Which is nowhere. Hey Wobby, whip me up a couple Long Islands and a Jack and coke. Make it a double. Thanks pal. Enjoy that for the next five years. I’m sure that won’t get old. I also wanted to point out some awful production work. So as Jillian is about to not give Wobby the rose, the train is starting to slow down. We see a sign outside the train that says “Danger”. The other guys in the car are like, “Why are we slowing down? Something must be wrong.” Then Jillian goes into her speech about why she doesn’t want his college frat boy ass. So wait, the conductor of the train knew Jillian was about to dump Wobby? She’s in contact with him now on all her decisions? See what I mean? The whole production value of this show is awful. That was their way of telling a story with a bad ending, and it was ridiculously cheesy. Obviously, they knew beforehand Wobby was going home or else they wouldn’t have made such a big deal about the stop, the “danger” sign, and the other guys questioning what was going on. This show sucks.

-Jillian tells us her reason for letting Wobby go. “Conversation never got as deep as it should.” Damn, she’s a frisky little one tonight. Likes it with the lights on, likes it in the caboose, and now she’s telling us about how things need to be a little deeper. This is the most X-rated “Bachelorette” we’ve ever seen, and Wobby’s pants never even came off. Or Jillian’s. What’s next? Some guy not being able to get it up during the overnight date? Yeah, sure that’s what happens. If you noticed the previews last night, they kinda backed away from that assumption. I figured they would. It was so far out there and so ridiculous for them to even tease that, I think they decided it was better not to. Now they’re just referring to it as their “physical relationship”, which could mean a myriad of things. But back to Jillian, she dumps Wobby off in the middle of nowhere, even though we know there are producers right there waiting for him. Yet another dumb production move. Really? We’re supposed to believe you left him out in the wilderness to fend for himself? Kinda like when you make us believe that one dude who got dumped had to take the bus home. Sure he did. He was on that bus until the minute it was out of camera shot and the director yelled “Cut!” As always, this show sucks.

-Is there a reason Michael was crying after Wobby got sent home? What was his deal? He knows Tanner is still on the train, right? And why has their relationship fizzled since the gigglefest they had in the car during the “Amazing Race for Jillians Heart”? So disappointed that we couldn’t dive into that further. There had to be a scene somewhere of Tanner rubbing down Michael’s feet that ended up on the cutting room floor. Or sucking his toes. Or getting a foot “job”. Hey, it’s not out of the question when it comes to Tanner. Well, yes it is. Once again, if anyone actually truly believes that this guy is that much into women’s feet, and is that obsessive over Jillians ten toes, and arches, and toenail polish, then I hate to tell you this, but you’ve been duped by ABC yet again. That is a character he is playing, and nothing else. Does he like womens feet? I’m sure he does. Is he obsessive compulsive about it to the point they’ve shown us on the show? No. But when you’re in a boring season, and nothing is going on, and producers tell you to play something up for the cameras, you do it. Tanner is playing the character of the foot fetish freak this season, that’s all.

-Now lets move on to our next “character” this season, and that’s Wes. The bad boy. The wild card. The guy who might be using ABC as a stepping stone for his music career. After Jillian dumped Wobby, almost on cue, Wes comes in to comfort her. And really out of nowhere, he starts talking about his music career. It’s not like Jillian asked him, he just starts rambling about it in voice overs, and to the cameras. “I’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. If there’s anyone here with an agenda, it’s me. (To the camera) The fame that I’ll get from this, it’s inside of me. I can taste it. This is gonna help me. I’m excited. I’ll always have Jillian wrapped around my finger.” Remember how I told you I don’t know everything about this show? Well, I don’t know exactly what context Wes was saying that in, but it wasn’t how it came across. And no, I’m not defending him because I’m pretty neutral on the guy. As I’ve always said, I don’t care about these people. I don’t care who gets hometown dates, I don’t care who gets roses, and I don’t care who she ends up with. You shouldn’t either. My point being, is that Wes just didn’t randomly come out and start saying this stuff. He was urged to so they could create a storyline. None of this stuff is said in front of Jillian ever, so then the audience can scream, “Why is she keeping him around when all he’s there for is his music career!!!!” There are plenty of you saying that today and you’ve all been duped. That’s exactly the reaction they want from you, and they’re getting it. Means their storyline is working. Wes is a musician. And he knows damn well that going on this show will make more people recognize him. They’ve just decided to play up the music career more so than it really is.

-Group date time with Michael, Jesse, Kiptyn, Jake, Tanner, and Wes at Emerald Lake. Hey, isn’t that where Jason with the hockey mask killed all those kids for ten seasons in those movies? Or was that Crystal Lake? Whatever. It’s time for these guys to put on snow shoes and go plopping around in the snow. Tanner picks out red snow shoes for Jillian to match her red jacket or whatever. So dumb. Here’s all you need to know about Tanners foot fetish. In every Jillian interview she’s given, she hasn’t once said she was creeped out by it. So why is everyone else? Because it’s an act, that’s why. Jillian probably realized that in the early going so she didn’t let it bother her. Time for everyone to play hide-and-go-seek. Such a fun game. Used to play this all the time as a kid. I remember I locked myself in the closet once and no one ever came to find me. Tough times. Maybe that’s why I have such a jaded view of everything this show has to offer. I blame it on my childhood when no one came looking for me. And this was just about the dumbest game of hide-and-go-seek ever since they were out in the woods and really there wasn’t anywhere to hide. Didn’t really see the point of this.

-Well, I guess one thing came out of this game. Jake decided to maul Jillian because I don’t think he’s touched her since he had the first 1-on-1 date. All the other guys are hiding (well, trying to hide), and Jake is just laying on top of Jillian cutting off all circulation to her brain. Is that that way it’s done, Jake? So sexy. I can totally see now why you remain single. You don’t move when you’re on top of her. So that was Jake’s way of showing Jillian he wanted more time with her, and he gets it. When they’re back at some hotel or what not, he re-emphasizes how little time they’ve had together since their first 1-on-1. Jillian gives some BS answer about, you know, having a show to tape and kinda needing to go on other dates. Apparently Jake doesn’t realize this. Then he pretty much sealed his fate when he tells her, “You are a lot like my mom.” Oh boy. Probably wasn’t the greatest idea to tell her that. First off, it makes you sound like mommy packs you a sack lunch every morning before you go bye-bye on your planes. Secondly, it insinuates that she also initials your name into every pair of underwear you own. And lastly, Jillian just got compared to the woman who birthed you. I might be mistaken, but that’s a turn off. Jake is now concerned that he’s the “ultra safe guy”. Let me tell you something Jakey, there’s nothing about you that doesn’t scream, “I always wear two condoms, vanilla is my favorite ice cream, and I cry after sex.” Sorry.

-Reid is back waiting on the train since he has the next 1-on-1 date, so of course naturally, he does what any guy would do to kill time. He starts talking to the train staff about his upcoming date. I’m sure this was all his idea, it was completely a spontaneous moment, and the cameras just happened to catch it. Uh huh. So dumb. He asked one lady whom he’s never met, if he should go on the date wearing his glasses, or not wearing his glasses. I don’t even remember what he asked the other guy since this scene was so hokey, I kinda tuned out. You know what the problem is? It’s the fact that every episode is two hours long this season. Because of that, we get awful, time-wasting pieces like Reid talking to the train staff. Really? That was supposed to be funny? Or interesting? Like any of them were going to offer him any advice we cared about. Quit wasting our time with this garbage.

-Kiptyn is next up to get some alone time with Jillian and he talks in circles. “You know those guys who want what they can’t have? That’s not me. I’m usually attracted to the women that like me.” Yes, you’ve said this before Dumbo (sorry, it’s the ears). We know. You’re not the pursuer. Usually you have hundreds of women throwing themselves at your feet on a daily basis, and you just get to pick and choose who you’d like to feed you grapes as you sit in your throne being fanned down by Egyptian goddesses. Or something like that. He could’ve talked about the rash he had between his thighs and Jillian wouldn’t have cared. She wants more awkward kissing with him. And there they go. Wow, the awkwardness level keeps rising the minute these two’s lips begin to touch. Yet all she can talk about is their physical chemistry. “Our bodies got close. So natural.” I’m still trying to find one thing that Jillian says about Kiptyn that doesn’t reference the 18 pack abs he has, him fondling her that makes her all squishy, or the fact she’s convinced herself he’s a great kisser. Let me know if that ever happens.

-Now all of them are sitting around in a group and having a jolly ol’ time. Michael out of nowhere asks the random question to Jillian of, “What do you usually sleep in?” She says it’s normally a tank top and underwear. But if its after a night of drinking, it’s just underwear. Ummmm, is that such a good thing? Not really the visual the guys really needed I don’t think. Let’s face it, it’s not like they had flashes of Pamela Anderson running on the beach topless when Jillian said that. Now it’s time for Tanner to ham it up for the cameras again. He shows everyone what he sleeps in by dropping his pants and letting everyone see his tighty whiteys. Jillian: “I don’t need to see anyone’s package yet.” Well, except Kiptyn’s since all you seem to care about is grabbing his hog when you’re with him. After Tanner strips down, he gets Jillian aside for more ridiculous nonsense. Rubs her feet down, says they are about a 9 or 9 ½ on his scale, and says they are the best feet he’s ever seen. “Now that I’ve felt how soft her feet are, I want her to meet my family.” I can honestly say Tanner might be the only human being on this planet who has ever uttered that sentence. Frightening.

-Michael takes Jillian outside so they can make some S’mores and he can over act s’more. Get it? I used S’mores twice. Once to describe the delicious marshmallow-chocolate-graham cracker combination, and also to combine saying “some more”. Really, I’m quite the wordsmith I tell ya’. My grammar usually sucks ass, but dammit if I know how to get creative with S’mores. When talking about possibly bringing her home to meet the family, Michael gets right to the point. “My parents, brother, and my dog will all tell me, ‘If you don’t marry this woman immediately, you’re out of the family.’” How about disowning Michael from the family for the sole reason that his occupation is “Break Dance instructor”. Last time I checked, seems the only income that brings in are the loose change people throw in the hat he has laid out on his giant piece of cardboard. I don’t mean to dog on Michael because as I said last week, at least he brings something different to the table, but it is very obvious she doesn’t see him as anything more than a buddy. They have about as much physical chemistry as Jon & Kate do nowadays. Shocking to hear they’re getting divorced. Never saw that one coming. The amazing part is, “US Weekly” ended up being right about the whole thing. They were the ones who broke the news first, and for seven weeks had these two on the cover telling everyone their marriage was failing, and by golly, if they didn’t have it nailed from the beginning. Maybe we should start listening to them more.

-Finally, Tanner admits to the rest of the guys that he was the one who told Jillian about one of the guys having a girlfriend. Seemed kinda ridiculous since not one guy asked him, “Well, who do you know has a girlfriend?” After all the drama that Tanner allegedly caused, why wouldn’t ANY of the guys bother to ask him who he was talking about? Then in chimes Wes with the lines he was given, uhhhhhhhhhh, I mean his thoughts. “I’ve made it six shows already. I’ve already serenaded my song to her. It’s a no-brainer. I’ve got what I wanted.” I’ve already given you my thoughts on this. It’s an act. You wait and see at the “Men Tell All” or in his exit interview in a couple weeks. Wes is not going to admit, “Yeah, uhhhh, I totally said all that exactly how it came out and the times you heard me say it were the exact times and order I said it in.” He got hosed by the editing crew. Yes, he knew all along that as a musician and coming on this show, it would gain exposure. There’s no denying that. But there’s not a chance in hell he’s going out of his way to admit that to everyone. The guy isn’t an idiot. You gotta trust me on this one.

-Wes’ edit was complete producer manipulation once again, and even though these people know what they’re signing up for the minute they go on this show, that’s where I say the show is fake. They are telling you one story when something completely different is actually happening. Is it fair? I guess that all depends. It’s their show, they can make you look however they want. I don’t say it’s fair for this reason: They try to play everything off like “these are real people, in real situations. All we do is sit back and film it and let the drama unfold.” That’s not true. If they would just admit to it, I wouldn’t have as much of a problem with it. But when Chris Harrison and Mike Fleiss constantly talk about “we can’t script this stuff, it just happens”, it’s all BS. There’s not a chance in hell that Wes said that stuff within the context it was shown. I don’t know how much more clear I can be about that. And oh yeah, they all got in a hot tub, and Kiptyn got a rose because he developed another 6 pack of abs in the last twenty minutes since we last saw him.

-Jake is still bummed he didn’t get to tell Jillian all his inner most thoughts, so before she heads out on her date with Reid, he gets some time with her. And boy does he lay it on thick. “My life’s dream was to meet someone like you. Our first date, I’ve never had anything like that. I’m really, really crazy about you.” And then he says off camera that Jillian is definitely what he wants to marry. I mean, wow. His life’s dream was to meet someone like Jillian? Ummmm, he’s had one date with her. How can he possibly have advanced that far in his feelings when even he admits they’ve barely talked since the first 1-on-1? I think you can kinda see how Jillian let this guy go. Too much, too fast. Tap the brakes a little, Jakey. Let the woman breathe for God sakes. Every single sentence out of your mouth is talking about how great everything is between you two and blah blah blah. It’s called suffocating. I think you can get arrested for doing that to a woman.

-Reid’s 1-on-1 date consists of snowboarding. Reid is a good skier, just never been much of a snowboarder. So today, he will be playing the character of “out of his element guy that does something Jillian likes, so he can please her”. Everybody, give it up for Reid Rosenthal! Very well done. Jillian definitely liked it. “I saw Reid fall head over heels for me several times today.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I get it. You’re using that phrase two ways. Falling for you as in “I want to make babies with you”, and falling for you because he kept face planting into the snow. Jillian, seems like you and I have something in common. We both have our way with words today. How about we sneak around the back for some nookie? I’m kidding. I live by one rule and one rule alone in my life: Never hook up with a Canadian chick.

-So then these two decide to sit down and have some dinner next to some ice sculptures. I was obvious they were freezing since Jillian’s giant rose turned more red than Rudolph’s, and Reid’s ears starting turning red. Do you know what this means? If you don’t, Reid will tell you. Reid: “When your ears are red, it means you either have high blood pressure or you’re horny. I have high blood pressure.” Awesome. That must’ve been quite the ego bruise to her. I mean, by admitting you’re horny, that would be admitting that she actually turns you on with her nails-on-a-chalkboard voice, her awful accent, and her alcoholism. I don’t know how many women Reid has been with in his life, but uhhhhh, I’m guessing there are some chicks in Philly that can put Jillian to shame. And hey, Reid is just on the show to promote his real estate business anyway, right “Star” magazine? Hey, at least they didn’t attribute that quote to me. However, is it really that far fetched when he has a website www.ReidRosenthal.com? You’re welcome for the plug, Reid.

-Reid admits to being a hypchodriac. He’s freaked out by the meat fondue they’re about to eat. He doesn’t like the fact that he’s dipping his meat into the bowl, then Jillian does the same. Yep, he’s a hypochondriac all right. Not a fan of the meat dipping. Uh oh. Maybe he’s the one with bedroom problems. Yeah, that’s it. They get up to the fantasy suite, and Reid can’t stand the thought of sharing a bed with a woman on hotel bed sheets. We’ve all seen the investigative pieces done on those. You need Hazmat teams to come take those things away. Reid also can’t believe Jillian doesn’t wash her vegetables. I think it’s safe to say at this point Reid is probably one of those guys who walks around with a bottle of Purell all the time too. And washes his hands before and after every meal making sure each hand is scrubbed the exact same amount of times. Or is that OCD? Or both? Whatever the case, uhhhhh, Reid is beginning to freak me out. And the reason he and Jillian don’t end up together is because he thinks Jillian will end up giving him salmonella when she cooks him dinner. Mark it down.

-Another reason why these two won’t end up together? They’ve both admitted they’re different and they probably don’t have a lot in common. Reid all but told Jillian she’s not his type. Probably not something you want to say to woman when trying to get in her pants. He says he usually goes after blondes. You just know the next thing that was gonna come out of his mouth was, “and with giant cans. Frankly, I’ve never dated an A cup before.” However, Jillian liked Reid’s answer about the question of where these two would live if they ended up together. “Once we’re a team, then we’ll figure it out.” Hmmmmmm, very interesting. Sounds logical to me. Why worry about it now when you should be working on your relationship. Good sound advice from Mr. Reid Rosenthal, my hero. Or did Jillian say that? Can’t remember. If Reid said it, I’m all for it. If Jillian did, then I don’t care.

-Jillian sits down with Host Chris for her little pre-rose ceremony gossip about the guys. Sometimes I think these two should be laying down next to each other in sleeping bags when having this conversation. Seems all very high school-ish to me. And speaking of high school-ish, just wait til later this week when we air DeAnna’s interview. I’ll be the first to admit, it became quite the gigglefest for the last, oh I don’t know, 50 minutes or so. Yes, the whole interview lasts an hour and twenty minutes. But you’ll enjoy it. It was a grand ol’ time we had together. Back to these two, Host Chris starts to pigeonhole Wes. “You know Wes is a musician. And you know the certain stigmas that come along with musicians.” No, please enlighten us Chris? You mean, that they’re all skirt chasing bad boys who get laid in every town they go to? I had no idea. I figured that when you’re on the road touring, and your wife/girlfriend are back home, after you perform, you just go straight to bed every night and not bang half the women who were at your concert throwing their panties and phone numbers at you. Ahhh, the life of a musician. Must be tough.

-I didn’t listen to the rest of their fireside chat. I wanted to be done with this episode. Jillian did pull Michael aside before the rose ceremony started probably because they needed more filler time. She just wanted to make sure he was ready for a commitment since he’s so young, so immature, and so broke. I think he said he would break dance 18 hours a day if he had to just for her. So now Jillian must eliminate two of the five remaining guys. Reid and Kiptyn have roses.

“This is really a tough night for me. I remember being in this position and it’s a big deal because now we’re getting families involved. But I know I have seven extraordinary people in front of me. I care about you. I feel really, really grateful. You are the five guys the producers had laid out from the beginning. I mean, I randomly decided I liked you five.”

Jesse: I have no read on this guy. Is he boring? Does she like him? Why does he look like he can be related to Kiptyn? A whole bunch of questions.
Wes: Good for him. That’s the least they could’ve done for him after brutal edit job he got. Oh wait. It doesn’t get any better next week either.

“Gentleman, Jillian, this is the final rose tonight. Whenever you’re ready. I’ll be over here making sure Ed’s travel itinerary is all set to meet up with us in Spain. And Hawaii.”

Michael: He was so giddy, I thought he was gonna moon walk over to her.

-So Tanner leaves heartbroken. “She’s missin’ a great guy, a great family. I have no idea what the f*** I did that was wrong?” Well, you can probably start at the foot thing even though you were told to play it up. And that you never kissed her nor did it seem like she ever wanted to use you for anything more than an informant. And once the informant doesn’t deliver the goodies, it’s time for him to go. Bye-bye Tanner. Maybe I’ll catch you at the Idle Rich Pub. Or Primo’s. Whatever the case, I feel your pain. It sucks getting dumped. We’ve all been there. Except I never got dumped by someone whose toes, arches, nail polish, and bunions I ever caressed.

-Jake wants some explanation, anything, on why Jillian sent him home. And naturally, she’s got nothing for him. Jillian: “It just wasn’t right. I don’t know why.” Good answer. I’m sure that helps him a lot. It helps him so much that in the previews, we see Jake returning during Wes’ hometown date to confront him on the girlfriend issue. How convenient that a Dallas guy decides to put on his best Mormon suit, get on a plane, and fly himself to Austin to confront Wes. I’m guessing if Jake didn’t live in Dallas, this confrontation next week never happens. Or maybe it would’ve since it certainly wasn’t Jake’s idea to do this. “She’s got the dangerous guy (Wes), the flimsy guy (Reid), and the young one (Michael). I know Wes. He will break her heart. I guess nice guys finish last.” Jake definitely played the pity card on the way out the door. But we’re not done with him by any means. They needed more drama this season, so they figured, “I know! We’ll have the pilot fly down to Austin since it’s so close. Perfect. Jake? You up for this?” And he obliges. Ooohhhh, what drama. For the third time today, this show sucks.

So the Holly Durst interview will be up tomorrow. It’s about 45 minutes long. She definitely addresses the things said about her by Jesse’s fans, uhhhhh, I mean critics. And she also us in on something most people aren’t aware of, which is the extent of her relationship with Justin Guarini. So look forward to that tomorrow. Any questions, comments, emails, criticisms, praises, email me at steve@realitysteve.com. See ya.

Categories: The Bachelorette 5 - Jillian Tags:
  1. JENNIFER S.
    June 23rd, 2009 at 12:00 | #1

    “LOVE HAS NO JOB” this alone has to be the worst line ever uttered by a potential suitor on this flim – flam of a show. I seem to be watching this season from your eyes RS – because I am in tune with every call you make. It’s really that predictable. Robby on the train tracks doing sign language to his boys was a pip. Dining at a table that the seats were 20 feet away was also weird. Why have a table if you have to eat on your lap????? Her hair whipping around outside on the train should’ve given Robby a tear in his cornea. Im sure they stayed out there just about 2 minutes. Speaking of Jillian’s hair – I want so badly for her to get a nice haircut by season’s end. She has beautiful hair just too much of it. Anyway – excellent job RS – I look forward to the Deanna tapes.
    :)

  2. mja
    June 23rd, 2009 at 12:06 | #2

    Good synopsis again —

    So I was wondering, what did Jake mean by saying that Reid is a “flimsy guy”? Also, the only reason we think it’s Reid is that they edited it to show Reid on camera with Jake’s voice saying “flimsy guy” at the same time. So, he may not have meant Reid. Anyway, how can a person be flimsy? The definitions of flimsy from a dictionary are

    1. Light, thin, and insubstantial: a flimsy fabric.
    2. Lacking solidity or strength: a flimsy table.
    3. Lacking plausibility; unconvincing: a flimsy excuse

    Maybe he meant the third idea, lacking plausibility? Doesn’t make sense to me… but maybe this show doesn’t have to. I did notice that they made a big effort to show Reid as being neurotic this time. Don’t remember that being mentioned earlier. So maybe he is the one with the physical intimacy issues?

    So far, none of these guys strike me as a really good match for Jillian. But it does seem that she likes men whose personalities are very different from hers. Maybe that’s why the lack of real rapport, and why she likes Reid (and Ed).

  3. palm
    June 23rd, 2009 at 12:18 | #3

    I was shocked a hypochondriac like Reid didn’t have a ski helmet on! Every time he fell, I just thought: “There goes another Natasha Richardson…”

    Reid seems like a cool guy, but doesn’t appear to have much ambition or drive which ultimately will make Jillian crazy. I think he’ll go out at the overnights, unless the e.d. guy is tossed out instead.

  4. palm
    June 23rd, 2009 at 12:21 | #4

    Why don’t we see more of Jesse? He’s the only intriguing one on the show in my opinion. Great looking, dream job, ambitious, smart. What’s up with his lack of screen time???

  5. MsMoka
    June 23rd, 2009 at 12:23 | #5

    The editing last night was so obviously manipulated to fit the story they want us to believe. Blatant. There were so many sharply cut-off video clips and disembodied, choppy voice clips over random filler shots, it was painful.
    I’m not liking Wes any more than anyone else, but I agree with RS that he is getting the edit-shaft. You can speculate that they’ve cut off his beginning words of “I know people are probably thinking … (fill here with all the audio they botched together)… but that’s not true”. Or something. Way out of context. It has to be. Wes can’t be that stupid.
    Of the guys left holding roses, my vote is for … Ed!!

  6. LoriLee
    June 23rd, 2009 at 12:26 | #6

    Steve you live by one rule “I live by one rule and one rule alone in my life: Never hook up with a Canadian chick.”, you don’t know what you’re missing big guy! :-)
    Another Great recap.

  7. riored
    June 23rd, 2009 at 12:27 | #7

    Thanks for the weekly laughs, RS. I tried to watch the show, but gave up after a couple of episodes. Now I just read your recaps. This has to be the most boring season of all time. Is it just me, or does Jillian seem to lack any chemistry at all with any of the guys? She claims to have this physical attraction for Kiptyn, but I agree, all the kissing sessions look totally awkward and faked. Both the actors and the script are terrible this time.

  8. shalan13
    June 23rd, 2009 at 12:43 | #8

    LoriLee beat me to the punch. Not dating Canadian chicks is your only rule in life? C’mon. You seemed so cool until you said that.

    Great recap though.

    From a Canadian chick.

  9. mrs_joiner
    June 23rd, 2009 at 13:00 | #9

    I wasn’t paying too much attention last night, but if Reid is afraid of germ’s, wouldn’t he be a mysophobe instead of a hypochondriac?

    hypochondria: extreme depression of mind or spirits often centered on imaginary physical ailments

    mysophobia: term used to describe a pathological fear of contact with dirt, to avoid contamination and germs (also known as a germaphobia)

  10. mrs_joiner
    June 23rd, 2009 at 13:01 | #10

    @shalan13
    I wasn’t paying too much attention last night, but if Reid is afraid of germ’s, wouldn’t he be a mysophobe instead of a hypochondriac?

    hypochondria: extreme depression of mind or spirits often centered on imaginary physical ailments

    mysophobia: term used to describe a pathological fear of contact with dirt, to avoid contamination and germs (also known as a germaphobia)

  11. jljohnson
    June 23rd, 2009 at 13:01 | #11

    I totally agree about the obvious editing they did on Wes’s “character”. My thought from the beginning was always, “Who cares if originally he came on the show to promote his career?” If any of these guys HONESTLY came on the show thinking they’d find the love of their life…well, I think they’re the ones with issues. And I don’t even like Wes. His accent bothers me and I think his song sucked. Plus I hate country music anyway.

    I was cracking up along with everyone else when Robby said that “love knows no job”. And then when he said Jillian dumped him b/c he’s young. Ummm, she dumped you because she’s almost 30, ready to get married and have kids, and generally when looking for a prospective husband “broke ass bartender” is not one of the qualities you look for!

    Anyway, great recap as always. Looks forward to Holly & DeAnna’s interviews.

  12. mrs_joiner
    June 23rd, 2009 at 13:01 | #12

    sorry that was meant as a general comment…i accidentally posted twice

  13. jan
    June 23rd, 2009 at 13:17 | #13

    Thanks for the recap! I really needed it this week because my DVR decided to switch over to 4th and Long (good show, btw) before I had a chance to finish watching the whole episode.

    My favorite downer moment was when Jillian said to Reid it was like Christmas morning. And, since Mr. ROSENTHAL is obviously Jewish he says…yeah, Christmas morning for me was waking up with no presents! LOL!

  14. nosila21
    June 23rd, 2009 at 13:22 | #14

    first off i would just like to say i love your blog reality steve! it makes watching the show so much more interesting.

    i agree with you 100% about jake. Sure he is a nice, good looking guy..but every line out of his mouth sounds rehearsed and boring! I think its so cheesy to come back and “warn jillian” please..that is obviously part of the script.

    Jillian honestly is the worst kisser i have ever seen. She acts like she has this amazing connection with all these guys but honestly its just painful to watch!

    im curious what did everyone think of the previews when jillian said someone she had to let go came back on the day of the final rose ceremony and proposed at her door or something?

    anyway keep it up reality steve!! :)

  15. logan1234
    June 23rd, 2009 at 13:39 | #15

    Thanks Steve. When will Jason realize his 15 minutes of “fame” are way over? Is his beef with you because you suggested that he was told to propose to Melissa first? Anyway, two things I noticed last night that cracked me up, that I thought you’d notice, were first, on the train, someone asks “is that the ocean, or a lake?” going across Canada. I think it was Wes. And the other was Tanner telling us, or Jillian, that he’s “blessed”. Was he referring to his package?

  16. jp
    June 23rd, 2009 at 13:42 | #16

    I think the reason all those kisses look so awkward is because she’s “embarrassed” by her hot tub scene with Jason. Obviously, she’s irritated by the questions asked prior to the season premiere, so she probably toned it down for the show.

    As for Reid, if they don’t have much in common, ESPECIALLY their religious backgrounds, why not cut the cord now? That’s obviously a concern of hers as she kept repeating the fact they have different lifestyles and grew up differently.

    Remember the early days of the show, when they showed us an hour of how they do background checks on the contestants to make sure they are “clean”? They obviously don’t care about girl/boyfriends, furthering careers, etc. They are casting the contestants, just like Survivor. :-(

  17. Donna P
    June 23rd, 2009 at 13:46 | #17

    I found it quite bizarre and very sad that she left poor Wobby on the “side of the road”! And Tanner is a FREAK!!!!! Who would admit to such a DEEP wacko fetish…he was Frightening!

  18. tboz
    June 23rd, 2009 at 13:48 | #18

    logan1234 – I also thought Tanner’s “blessed” comment was hilarious! After Jillian says that she’s not ready to see anyone’s package, she says, “I mean, it’s huge!” And then Tanner is talking about how they haven’t had much time to get to know each other and says, “She knows I love feet. And I’m blessed.” Right up there with “love has no job”!

  19. susie
    June 23rd, 2009 at 13:48 | #19

    I can’t remember who said that sociopathic line about not being there to win a competition but… it is human nature and of course it is about winning. I doubt that these guys would normally have hooked up with Jillian in their normal lives. She looks older than her stated age to begin with and like Michael’s mother when they are together. I need to see some substance from her. These guys may not be the most successful catches but honestly, what is so wonderful about her? What does she contribute to society?

  20. ians1mom
    June 23rd, 2009 at 14:01 | #20

    I have to say that you have hit the nail right on the head with your thoughts on this show. They don’t even do a good job of trying to hide that it’s all about ratings and the show and not about truly helping someone to find the love of their life.

    For instance, if I was on the show and was sincerely on it to find a mate, I would insist on seeing the footage of what goes on when I’m not around so I can see what the guys are really like. And if it was sincerely about that on the producer’s part, they would insist that she see it. If there is a guy on there with a girlfriend, or if what Wes was saying last night was not taken out of context and they cared about Jillian finding love, they would show that footage to her.

    As an example, the other night on The Next Food Network Star, they told one of the contestants that they watched the footage and saw him rolling his eyes at one of the other competitors and didn’t like it or think it was appropriate in someone they are looking for to be on the network, which shows they are sincerely looking for a person to put on a show and care what goes on when they aren’t there to see it, which is the difference between a real reality show and a farce, which The Bachelor/Bachelorette is.

  21. lovinRS
    June 23rd, 2009 at 14:04 | #21

    My Tuesday is now complete. I start shaking after checking back 20 or 30 times in an hour to see if the recap/opinions/blabber is up. You really do make me laugh… THanks RS… Lovin you… :)

  22. mt20
    June 23rd, 2009 at 14:08 | #22

    Great recap as always. I’m surprised no one has said anything about the ridiculous date Wobby had. Seriously? Who said, “And for the bartender, let’s just give him a one-on-one date in the back of the train with all the other guys 10 feet away” Lame.

  23. JENNIFER S.
    June 23rd, 2009 at 14:16 | #23

    Logan1234 — Y E S thats right. Tanner is ‘blessed’ Hysterical. I forgot about that one.
    hey – you gotta admit – with this crazy world out there – RS delivers a lot of laughs for us and our fellow posters as well.
    :)

  24. lynds
    June 23rd, 2009 at 14:42 | #24

    do i smell Jake as the new bachelor? Could they have set it up anymore perfectly??

  25. realitytvismyjunckfood
    June 23rd, 2009 at 14:50 | #25

    so, is this a lost episode of Intervention?
    We have one guy with a sex fetish who loves feet and apparently wears two different pair of underwear at the same time. What?
    a guy with an oedipus complex.
    a musician with delusions of grandeur.(ok, there are a couple guys with this affliction but the more delusions the merrier is what I always say.)
    a guy ripe with OCD and another that either hates kissing woman, or just has had no experience at all. AND a young woman who seems to be on an 12 week bender.
    Is Jesse really boring, or just so normal he seems dull in comparison. You have to give ABC a nod. They cleaned out a rest-home without anyone the wiser. Good thing Brooke Shields isn’t around.
    I am interested to see how much crazier and inappropriate this show can become. plus, by comparison, my life is rolling along just fine.

  26. Sheila
    June 23rd, 2009 at 15:18 | #26

    I think that Jake would have been a good Bach, but I think it will be Kip.

  27. gebe
    June 23rd, 2009 at 15:30 | #27

    Two things…Reality Steve – so who ends up winning this thing?
    Also, it would be so great and interesting if a really attractive woman gets brought in to the mix. It would be interesting to see if these guys so into Jillian would flirt and totally go after this woman. I think so. Jillian is not at all attractive or special, and I don’t see why all of these attractive guys are so into her and would want to marry her. No matter who she picks, it won’t last. Whoever it is will find out how annoying she is when they have to spend more than a couple of hours with her over a few days. Good luck.

  28. jp
    June 23rd, 2009 at 15:32 | #28

    @lynds

    I don’t see him as the new bachelor….mainly because he hasn’t had a lot of screen time. And, as Steve pointed out, he’s pretty vanilla.

  29. nehlove
    June 23rd, 2009 at 15:50 | #29

    Its funny how you say “This show sucks..” like 3 times in this blog and yet here you are watching it every week and blogging on it.

  30. susie
    June 23rd, 2009 at 15:55 | #30

    They need to bring in someone new for the next bachelor or it will wind up being as boring as this one. The other one that has done well out of this show is Travis Stork. I am sure he is making more money on his TV show that he ever would as an emergency room physician.

  31. smithsfan
    June 23rd, 2009 at 16:02 | #31

    i used close captioning last night (long story since my hearing is fine) and in the upcoming scenes in spain they have voiceovers of the bachelors with who is speaking in parentheses, one person speaking was wes. so he makes it that far.

    also, said this before, i know an acquaintance of michael, he is definitely gay and out in nyc. he is an actor/dancer.

  32. Flash
    June 23rd, 2009 at 16:06 | #32

    What a shocker another post that starts off with going over what Jason and Chris said about RS. I’m hoping you actually do let it go, but I won’t be holding my breath.

    By the way have you ever thought about coming out with some RS merchandise?

    All kidding aside your reviews are funny as hell just seems to be way to much about other things lately.

  33. bbs165
    June 23rd, 2009 at 16:33 | #33

    This is Reality Steve’s site and I don’t see the problem with him rehashing the story any way he wants. I think pointing out Jason and Mr Harrisons inability to let things go is quite hilarious. I have to say, while I completely agree that Wes was majorly edited to fit the story they had in mind, you still can’t deny he actually said those things. I don’t see how stating “I’ve got Jillian wrapped around my little finger” or “I’d say if anyone here had an alterior motive, it’d be me” comes off well in ANY context! He said those things and that is why he’s a jerk, not how the sequence of events played out while he said them. I hope he goes home next BUT at the same time he adds some much needed and missing entertainment value. I hope she chooses ED in the end, I think he’s dreamy!

  34. Patti
    June 23rd, 2009 at 16:38 | #34

    Great job, Steve. I laughed so much reading your blog on last night show. When Michael said, “My parents, brother, and my dog will all tell me, ‘If you don’t marry this woman immediately, you’re out of the family.’” I was laughing so bad..so he has a talking dog? Who would have guessed! Keep up the good work, Steve. Sorry, I really liked Jake, guess I’m not into bad boys!

  35. kjd82
    June 23rd, 2009 at 16:39 | #35

    Ok #1. THANK YOU for explaining in one perfect sentence (2 condoms, vanilla ice cream) what is not so hot about Jake. Total catch, of course, but not for Jillian’s type.
    #2. I agree Wes was probably edited a bit. I mean, if he is so “smart” to promote himself on the show, why would he ruin it all by admitting it is all a publicity stunt. I think even if he is THAT manipulative than he would be smart enough to never let it out in front of anyone. Cause nobody will buy his CD’s now that they all HATE him!
    #3. All realtors have websites so I don’t think it means much about Reid having a website.
    #4. US Weekly always calls the celbrity news (Brad & Jennifer splitting always come to mind). I am trying to figure out if they have enough power to put something on the cover and then it BECOMES true just because so many people believe it and read it.
    #5. I have to say you are WAY to hard on Jillian, I read every week and alwyas wnat to leave you a comment… besides the whole getting plastered every episode which I think is totally embarassing, I do think she is attractive, funny, stylish, and definitely WORTH the attention of some great guys. She is a girl I would want to be friends with and a girl I would set my best guy friends up with. I think you are just way too harsh on her looks, maybe she is just not your taste, but you need to go easy on that and stop assuming nobody else would be attracted to her.
    #6. also can we please stop talking about Jason Mesnick. He makes me nauseated. He would fall in love with a dark haired, tan muppet if it returned his affection.

  36. MsMoka
    June 23rd, 2009 at 16:41 | #36

    smithsfan :
    also, said this before, i know an acquaintance of michael, he is definitely gay and out in nyc. he is an actor/dancer.

    That would explain why Tanner & Michael had more chemistry with each other than with Jillian! Duh! And what exactly was that black belt-like double underwear thing Tanner was sporting? Some kinky, strap-on device that he forgot to remove? Oops!
    And I bet another quote taken out of context was when Jillian said “it’s HUGE!” I bet you anything she was defending someone’s stupidity when they asked if that was a lake or the ocean. As in “I can see why you’d be mistaken there, Wes (or whoever), … it’s HUGE”.
    LOL

  37. Patti
    June 23rd, 2009 at 16:47 | #37

    Can’t she also see that Michael is way too high maitenance and frenetic….he would drive me nuts after about 30 minutes. She thinks he’s funny and exciting? Yeah, for 5 minutes. And the tanner thing…how disgusting was that? At least have some great looking underwear if you plan to drop your drawers on Nat’l TV..it looked like he borrowed his granpa’s undies…what a complete turnoff that was. Obviously he never watched Micael Jordon in his Hanes commercial? Now that kind of underwear is really hot!

  38. Patti
    June 23rd, 2009 at 16:50 | #38

    Am I the only one who thinks Wes needs a bath and wash his hair..he totally grosses me out..yuck!

  39. Deegirl
    June 23rd, 2009 at 17:14 | #39

    @Patti
    I think so too. He looks like he bought his clothes at the goodwill and they haven’t been washed since 1970.

    Steve ABC should be paying you to blog their stupid show. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t even tune into this snoozefest. I watched “Lie to Me” instead and then ffd through ABC. I thought the obvious edit on Wes was so bad. They can’t even splice together audio. I think I can find a couple of fifth graders who can do a better job.

    Anytime a guy is sure he’s getting the rose you know that’s the kiss of death.

  40. ottoniana
    June 23rd, 2009 at 17:21 | #40

    I had a profile on here and it was deleted. Anyway – I actually love Jillian. I think she’s real, honest and fun (a lot like Meredith – the second bachelorette) – and unlike Deanna and Jen.

    RS – funny blog yes, I have to admit that for the most part i used to enjoy your blogs (and like i said before will tune out for the DeYAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWNA interview. What I don’t enjoy? Your degrading of women “she likes to take it in the caboose” – totally not cool – very uncalled for and extremely degrading to women. I think you owe women everywhere an apology for talking that way. I hope your mother/sister/girlfriend doesn’t read that.

    AS for your take on the scripted parts of show? Totally agree – but makes it fun – otherwise everyone would complain they were bored. Am i right?

  41. susie
    June 23rd, 2009 at 17:43 | #41

    Now I will expect a funny photo every blog! Keep it up…please!

  42. Patti
    June 23rd, 2009 at 17:55 | #42

    Deegirl – yes I meant to add that..his clothes..OMG! And he wears his open collar shirts over his ugly sports jacket like a pimp. He is the most unattractive man to me, plus he could lose a few pounds..he’s not as hot as he thinnks he is. lol

  43. Jeanne
    June 23rd, 2009 at 18:40 | #43

    I enjoy your blog. So funny. I didn’t like Jason the first time on tv and even less now. Yeah, I think he is trying to keep himself in the limelight. Probably envious of Melissa. That was supposed to be his fame! Ha! Jerk. I noticed to that the train was stopping before Jillian let Wobby go. Dummies!I don’t care what they have done to Wes–don’t like his arrogant self.

  44. ottoniana
    June 23rd, 2009 at 19:05 | #44

    p.s. RS: I don’t get how you can say Wes is getting a brutal editing job..how can you possibly edit “i got what i need now i can haul ass” ….”i came for the publicity not for the girl”……”i’ve made it 6 shows already this is great for my career”….”i love it….the publicity….i can just eat it up”….. Ya ABC really screwed him by …editing it? Sorry i don’t understand that at all. They showed what he said, no? That’s like saying ABC gave Jason a brutal editing job when he said “sorry Melissa i want Molly not you” – YOU CANNOT CHANGE WHAT THEY SAY!!!

  45. Patti
    June 23rd, 2009 at 19:10 | #45

    Wes is a creep.

  46. jp
    June 23rd, 2009 at 19:28 | #46

    @smithsfan

    Is that what the “problem in the bedroom” is? Does he come out to her (and to the country)?

  47. Mariana
    June 23rd, 2009 at 20:07 | #47

    Hey Steve, I’m a fan of yours, but I’m curious…you said, “I live by one rule and one rule alone in my life: Never hook up with a Canadian chick.” Why is that? Canadian girls are awesome, I think we’re the best!! Just wondering what you have against us?

  48. jan
    June 23rd, 2009 at 20:21 | #48

    OMG! I just saw a promo for a new show by, you guessed it, the Producers of the Bachelor called MORE TO LOVE…a Bachelor type show with plus sized people. The funnies thing was coincidently, the credits and logo for HOUSE were running at the bottom of the screen. Talk about a freudian slip! LOL! That show ought to be good fodder for your site! COMING IN JULY! Stay tuned!

  49. kita33172
    June 23rd, 2009 at 20:37 | #49

    I don’t care how vanilla Jake is, he’s smokin’ hot!! And as fake and scripted as I know this show is, Jilli was an idiot not to keep him!

  50. mkrobert
    June 23rd, 2009 at 22:41 | #50

    Steve, are you thinking what I’m thinking about ED?!?!?!?

  51. Patti
    June 23rd, 2009 at 23:11 | #51

    kita…I totally agree. Jake is so real, the ’scripted’ scenarios by the producers couldn’t even make him look bad, and they tried. He’s just real and it comes across that way totally…and he is absolutely gorgeous..that smile..is she a complete idiot or blind? Ed, and Wes are not even in the same league as Jake in looks and personality..I lost respect for Jillian when she left the ‘perfect’ guy go!!

  52. Peg
    June 24th, 2009 at 01:17 | #52

    You missed the best line of the show when some unseen idiot (Michael) asked if the body of water surrounded by mountains was the OCEAN!!!!

  53. RainyNiteNTx
    June 24th, 2009 at 07:47 | #53

    Jillian deserves whatever she gets by keeping Wes and Michael and letting Jake go. I thought she sent Robby home because he was too young, but keeps Michael. Isn’t Michael the same age? As bad as the Deanna show was, this one seems like a spoof. It is hilarious.

    LMAO at Steve saying Chris Harrison would be right over here making itinerary plans for Ed.

  54. zombie_hands
    June 24th, 2009 at 08:40 | #54

    @MsMoka

    Ms.Moka the black belt thing Tanner was wearing was the microphone pack.

  55. lora
    June 24th, 2009 at 08:40 | #55

    Peg, I caught that line about the ocean too….LOL!
    I love watching this show on Monday nights and then reading this blog the next day. The only thing better would be to actually watch it WITH Steve! Now that would be fun. :)

  56. zombie_hands
    June 24th, 2009 at 08:48 | #56

    I don’t know if I can stomach this show any longer. Jillian is a complete moron. The more she drinks the bigger her nose gets and she just looks awful! She needs to stay away from the alcohol. Wasn’t her mother the one that was mentally ill for quite awhile? It was Jillian’s big issue to tell Jason. I don’t know if it’s hereditary but it would raise some flags if I was a guy. JMO.
    To be honest of the remaining 5 men…none of them do anything to me. Kiptyn maybe…Jesse…is blah…Wes…plain creepy and not EVEN attractive!!!…Michael..it’s a game now for him and he’s an odd little fellow…Reid…I think he wished he went home…he’s totally not into Jillian. So if Kiptyn doesn’t get a rose next week…she’ll probably pick Jesse and Reid as her final two. This will be a train wreck for sure. Ed is definitely coming back to propose to her and she’ll turn him down. Jillian isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer.

  57. connoer
    June 24th, 2009 at 09:39 | #57

    I can’t stop laughing:

    Is there a reason Michael was crying after Wobby got sent home? What was his deal? He knows Tanner is still on the train, right?

  58. June 24th, 2009 at 10:17 | #58

    Connoer – I was thinking the same thing about Michael and his crying! I don’t know, maybe the relationship between him and Tanner soured after Tanner saw Michael’s feet and they didn’t meet his standards. So Michael, feeling rejected, latched on to the next best thing – Wobby!

  59. RaRa
    June 24th, 2009 at 11:25 | #59

    I’m new to the site, so forgive me if this question has already been asked: Has the “source” indicated whether Jilli will actually end up engaged to one of the guys at the end of the season, or will she do a “Brad” and say “thanks but no thanks” to all of them?

  60. RaRa
    June 24th, 2009 at 11:37 | #60

    Speaking of bedroom problems — am I the only one who thinks Jillian must not be much in the sack? She was definitely a frontrunner with Jason until the fantasy date. As I recall, the hottub foreplay scene started out great, but the next morning she was shown the door. Maybe when push comes to shove (so to speak), she just doesn’t “facilitate great performance” in that arena?

    Regardless, whether the “bedroom problems” promo was just a big tease or not, I have to say: I would hate to be stuck with the name “Ed”, which basically spells out the acronym “Erectile dysfunction”…..

  61. RaRa
    June 24th, 2009 at 11:44 | #61

    @jp

    Jason Mesnick was Jewish also, so that doesn’t appear to be a problem for Jill.

  62. Dianne
    June 24th, 2009 at 11:45 | #62

    sorry..I don’t get what’s so funny about the “ocean” question. We do have both ocean’s in Canada..Pacific on the West Coast (British Columbia), and the Atlantic on the East Coast (New Brunswick, Nova Scotia etc). If the guy had never been to Canada before, how would he know? Enlighten me please.

    Also..latest on the sap, Wes. He’s a waste of space..what a slime-bucket!

    This morn on the radio at10am on 98.1 KAVET in Texas they had Wes on and he was saying that the only reason he was on the show was to get the break for his album which is now being made. He indicates he doesn’t want the girl

  63. RaRa
    June 24th, 2009 at 12:06 | #63

    @Dianne

    So I guess we can safely assume Wes and Jillian aren’t currently engaged…? ;-)

  64. mkrobert
    June 24th, 2009 at 12:54 | #64

    Michael’s crying WAS pretty funny!!! Maybe he was just cold?!

    Wes is a TOTAL slime ball and Reid is a little too neurotic. The post that Reid wishes he went home is so funny and SO TRUE! I think he just wants to get booted off, and I think he also looks like Matthew Perry.

    I really hope Ed comes back and proposes. I read something online that Jillian is happy with the way things turned out, but I’m starting to think she may not pick anyone either!!!

    I too think she has made some bad choices. Jake is the one! But only because I’m convinced ED is the one for me!

  65. Bliss_Leia
    June 24th, 2009 at 14:34 | #65

    Great recap, as always. I only watched 20 minutes of the 2 hours, meaning: yes, for the 10th time this show sucks! haha!

  66. MsMoka
    June 24th, 2009 at 16:31 | #66

    Dianne :
    sorry..I don’t get what’s so funny about the “ocean” question. We do have both ocean’s in Canada..Pacific on the West Coast (British Columbia), and the Atlantic on the East Coast (New Brunswick, Nova Scotia etc). If the guy had never been to Canada before, how would he know? Enlighten me please.

    Everyone thinks it’s funny because certainly anyone from the US is going to have seen a map of North America and grasp that Canada borders the same oceans the US does!? And that if you start at the ocean on the westcoast and head due east towards the Rocky Mountains for about 9 hours, you’re not going to be seeing the ocean anymore? Even if the guy had never been to Canada, you’d think he’d know roughly where the Rocky Mountains are in the States (way inland) and extrapolate from there… :-)

  67. suez
    June 24th, 2009 at 17:00 | #67

    Too bad Jillian sent Jake home. He seems to be a real nice guy. Plus he said he’d fly her anywhere anytime. Ladies in the Dallas area…track this guy down!! He would make a NICE girl really happy!!

  68. addicted2trainwrecks
    June 24th, 2009 at 19:05 | #68

    Just made myself laugh. My user name has been this for quite a while, somehow it never seemed more appropriate than now!!!
    Great lines I will paraphrase. Jillian and Reid. Wanting every day to be like Christmas morning and Reids answer…perfect…I know waht htat is like I wake up and there are no presents. Funny stuff here.

    I do have a question for Steve and all who care to answer. I have been addicted to this mess since it started way back in season 1. Is it that we are just better at seeing the “scripting” now or was it not this heavily edited way back in the old days? I am sure that Trista and Ryan were scripted, judging by the ending but it somehow didn’t seem as manipulated as it does now…or am I blind? Your thoughts?????

  69. Patti
    June 24th, 2009 at 22:34 | #69

    There is a petition on the Bachelorette Message Board to make Jake the next Bachelor.

  70. KiSsSsSs
    June 25th, 2009 at 07:19 | #70

    Dianne…actually, we have 3 oceans…you forgot about the Arctic

  71. yer wan
    June 25th, 2009 at 08:39 | #71

    The surprise proprosal to Silly Gilli will probably involve a smarmy Mesnick crying (alot!) and telling us all that he made a mistake. Molly will be un proprosed to and Gilli will be back in!! Apparently strange things like this can happen on ABC. Great recap Steve, like many others I have stopped sacrificing two hours of my life to tune in to that tripe every Monday night, I`ll just read your blog instead. Slan

  72. Patti
    June 25th, 2009 at 11:30 | #72

    I’m a big fan of the show, but you lost me..who is silly gilli..somehow I missed that nickname..lol Thanks.

  73. yer wan
    June 25th, 2009 at 14:07 | #73

    Sorry patti, my bad. Even though I have been here for a while I still think (and spell!) like an irish girl (Jillian is often spelled with a G across the pond). My kids think Silly Jilli is a fairly suitable nickname for our lovely bachelorette….sorry RS but we think she is actually quite pretty in an unconventional sort of way!(and what`s your beef with Canadian chicks and Nordstrom clothes?)

  74. palm
    June 25th, 2009 at 16:06 | #74

    What do people find appealing about Jake? Every word out of his mouth sounds rehearsed and you can see the audition wheel spinning in his brain. The only reason he’s there is to be the next bachelor. Even his body language–I don’t get anything that shows he’s interested in her, just himself. When will this show get fun again??

  75. catherine a
    June 25th, 2009 at 16:43 | #75

    I agree – Jake, despite his good lucks, is a total bore – he came across as completely phony to me (someone somewhere said he was an actor – if so, he’s a BAD actor)….and the preview of him showing up in his pilot’s uniform??? I wonder if he really even is a pilot (with a legitimate airline), I can bet that whatever airline he supposedly works for would NOT endorse his wearing his uniform on the Bachelorette…..ick…I sure hope he’s not the next bachelor…

  76. Patti
    June 25th, 2009 at 18:17 | #76

    Off topic: Michael Jackson is dead

  77. catherine a
    June 25th, 2009 at 18:27 | #77

    patti, if we’re on this site, we’re all on the internet so we obviously know this…

  78. mja
    June 26th, 2009 at 09:11 | #78

    Another reason the ocean question was funny was that you could see that the body of water was surrounded by mountains, and you could see all the way across it. Oceans are just a *little* bit bigger than that!

  79. Chocohalic
    June 27th, 2009 at 15:10 | #79

    I enjoy your blog your writing skills are excellent..but….I do not like your blatant dislike for Jillian or Canada…I would tend to think you would attract more if you refrain from personal attacks…..besides this who in the hell is this freak http://bacheloretteblog.wordpress.com/ looks like he is trying to push your buttons…

  80. sunray777
    June 28th, 2009 at 21:41 | #80

    Steve, some of your comments about canada have been funny in your usual stereotypical way. No big deal. However, youve made a few that seem to sting a little like the living by 1 rule only to never date a canadian chick. You seem more evolved then to actually mean that so its dissapointing to read these things. What about your many canadian fans? Ive been one since the early days of your site and have to admit that some of your canada comments have made the read of your column not so great anymore. Wheres the love? ; )

  81. Dianne
    June 29th, 2009 at 08:28 | #81

    oops..right you are Kiss..my bad!

  82. becca656
    June 29th, 2009 at 12:28 | #82

    Steve, he wasn’t dressed up like a Mormon – he’s an airline pilot and had returned to work, already.

  83. Rebecca
    June 29th, 2009 at 17:57 | #83

    it’s so annoying how jillian almost always is the one to lean in for the kiss, way early on right from the very first one with wes. i think she leaned in for her first kiss with jason too when they went on their robin thicke date? deanna was in charge for her season of the bachelorette too, but she let the guys initiate, and she wasn’t making out with everyone freakn immediately.

    p.s. kiptyn kisses weird. the locking lips part he does okay, but then he ruins it by moving his head around all weird the whole time like he has a spasm or something. i’m rooting for jesse, michael, and reid!

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