The Bachelorette 5 Recap – 7/13/09
-Lets get to a few things before starting last night’s recap. In case you’ve been under a rock since last Tuesday, you’ll see that I conducted an interview with Wes Hayden last Wednesday night. Good stuff, and regardless of how you feel about the guy, you should probably listen to it. No need to go over all your comments and reaction at this point. But just one thing I wanted to point out. Out of an hour and twenty five minutes of talking, a lot of you seem to be stuck on the fact that he said he didn’t watch the show anymore but knew about all his edits. Let me explain: I’ve seen four episodes of “Jon and Kate Plus Eight”, yet if someone asked if I watch the show, I’d say “no”. Wes obviously has watched bits and pieces of this season, but he doesn’t strap himself down every Monday night and go through each 120 minute episode with a magnifying glass. If you heard the interview, it was obvious he was in and out of last weeks episode, especially what they showed on the dinner date. But he was aware of what he said in the limo afterwards. Yes, he’s seen the episodes. All of them from beginning to end pausing and rewinding his parts? No. Lets move on.
-Here is the schedule for the remainder of the season for those that don’t know. Next Monday is the “Men Tell All” that was filmed this past Saturday in L.A. On Monday night the 27th is the 2 hour season finale. The next night, Tuesday the 28th, will be the “After the Final Rose” show. No, Wes did not attend the “MTA” taping. Neither did Reid, Ed, or Kiptyn (more on that in a bit). Wes didn’t want to go and ABC didn’t want him there for the reasons we went over in the interview. They knew they wouldn’t be able to “control” his answers and didn’t want the truth getting out, so they told him to stay home. He’s essentially a loose cannon at this point and he could only hurt them instead of help. As far as the final three, this is the first time in shows history that the guy who was eliminated at #3 (Reid) didn’t attend the “MTA” taping. The “MTA” taping is always the weekend right before the episode airs where that person goes home. Jeremy did the “MTA” taping last year, then was eliminated two nights later when the episode aired. This is a first in Bachelor history. So why wasn’t Reid at the “MTA” taping?
-The major thing to discuss with the “MTA” taping, I think, is the fact that now they have a 2 hour episode next week WITHOUT arguably the most hated bachelor in recent memory, Wes, and the guy that got let go at #3, Reid. I can guarantee you they will replay all of Wes’ quotes, and everyone will attack him. That’s pretty much a given. They’re pissed at Wes for talking to me and other stations, and that’ll be the lasting impression that the show gives him. Bottom line. Is a show with Dave, Juan, Jake, Tanner, and Sasha really going to be that entertaining? I highly doubt it. Hence the reason Jason and Molly were brought back to talk about their undying love for each other. We’ll get bloopers, a report from the “Bachelor/ette” reunion in Vegas a couple months ago, and Jillian talking about her experience. DeAnna even mentioned a couple weeks ago that she filmed a piece that is supposed to air next week as well. Was I at the “MTA” taping? No, I wasn’t. But it doesn’t mean I’m not aware of things. Lets just say that there is something I’m still working out the details on about the “MTA” tapings that I’ll have later this week. Just want to make sure I have everything in order before I possibly run with this. I’d say it’s fairly big.
-And finally, nice to see Jason and Molly are now helping out other single people. Just what we need, those two giving dating advice. Check out this link:
Jason & Molly Join the “Matchmaking Flight”
Wow. I mean, ummmm, wow. Gee, those who book in the next 24 hours only have to pay $580? What a deal! I wonder what the price goes up to after that? So a 12 hour flight is going to have an “open bar and speed dating”? I can only imagine that a plane with 300 passengers openly serving alcohol all flight with the intention of these people hooking up at some point is going to smell wonderful by the time it lands. Booze, used condoms, and sex. Why not just allow them all to smoke if they want as well? Are they really going to fill up this plane with enough people to do this? That’d be pretty funny if there’s like 12 people on the plane and they have to listen to Jason and Molly’s boring stories about how they didn’t fall in love at first, but then Jason “changed his mind” while engaged to someone else after he was texting and calling Molly behind his fiancés back. Ahhhh, true love. That’s how it starts for all of us. Good thing that flight isn’t headed to Australia on Oceanic Flight 815. That would be creepy. Now, on to last nights show.
-Before Kiptyn arrives, we see the (ahem) lovely Jillian strolling the beaches in Maui in her yellow and white bikini, frolicking in the water, and writing stupid messages in the sand that’ll be washed away by a wave the second she leaves. “J & ?” Really? Are you in 4th grade? How corny was that? Actually, maybe she was still thinking of last season and that could’ve stood for “Who the hell did Jason really want to be with?” Whatever the case, the whole scene was lame and contrived. And the yellow and white bikini didn’t do much for me. In fact, nothing she wears does anything for me. But that shouldn’t be news to anyone who’s followed this column all season. If I don’t like her, I don’t like her. I can find something about each of the previous bachelorettes that I found appealing, yet honestly, I can’t think of one for Jillian. Can’t stand her voice, doesn’t have any figure, she drinks like a fish, she lives in Canada, and well, she’s a horrible kisser. Other than that, she’s perfect. An absolute 10. The woman I’d want to marry. As for the others:
Trista: My favorite woman in the whole world. I love her to death. Minus the baby talk.
Meredith: Wait, Meredith was the “Bachelorette”? Yikes. Uhhhh, she was tall?
Jen: Well, she was my favorite during Firestone’s season. Her season? Not so much. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
DeAnna: C’mon now. DeAnna’s like, my best friend, right? It’s like we’re soulmates. Never have a bad thing to say about her. Ha ha. I kill myself sometimes.
-Kippy shows up in Maui and does the trendy thing to do now on these 1-on-1 dates and that’s run to the girl and pick her up. When did this become the thing to do? I can’t remember the last time I picked up a girl and spun her around when hugging her. Then again, I haven’t appeared in any chick flicks recently either. I love the ropes course that these two did. Like this was some big accomplishment. What were they, 30 feet off the ground? Anybody catch the “Duel 2″ this season? I’d say those challenges put anything Jillian and Kiptyn were doing to shame. Walking some steps 30 feet above the ground? Pssssht. Try hanging upside down holding on to your partners arms over a cliff. Or standing on a plank suspended above water and having to spell tough words like “throne”. Nice one, Brad. Although, couldn’t Brad have asked, “Is it ‘thrown’ or ‘throne’?” I was shocked this was never addressed. Regardless, he’s an idiot for spelling either one “t-h-r-o-n”. Congrats on picking a real winner there, Tori.
-Oooooohhhh, now it’s time to move over to the big one, the Leap of Faith. I’m biting my nails. Don’t know if I can take the pressure that comes along with this one. You’re strapped in to a harness, there’s ZERO chance for serious injury, yet Jillian is acting like she’s about to go skydiving. Don’t fall Jillian. You might scrape your knee jumping from a whopping 3 feet off the ground. Be careful. So the Leap of Faith consisted of climbing up a pole, then jumping off and grabbing the trapeze positioned away from them. From there, they’d end up joining the circus and go by the name of the “Uninteresting Duo”. Anybody watch these two and just think to yourself, “What a ridiculously boring couple.” I certainly do. There’s nothing about these two together that gets my relationship pants all excited. At least with Reid he’s kinda quirky, and Ed is just all over the map. Kiptyn bores the piss out of me, sorry. Being the athletic guy he is, Kiptyn easily grabs the trapeze while Jillian I believe jumped maybe 6 centimeters off the pole before falling. Nice effort, J. Yet another quality you don’t have: athleticism.
-Over dinner, these two are discussing their possible lives together and Jillian asks him if he has any flaws whatsoever. Kip: “Impatience. I have low patience. I could probably deal better with bumps in the road. I’ve usually got one foot in and one out in relationships. Probably hasn’t been too fair.” Yeah, I’d say so. And since Jillian is about to bash your skull with a pineapple if you don’t tell her exactly how you feel about her, or if you’ll be on bended knee anytime soon, this isn’t a good sign. Didn’t Jillian say a few episodes ago that she just kinda “goes with the flow and doesn’t need to be told all the time about how much he likes me”? Yet, that’s all she does is grill these guys into submission as to whether or not they’re into her, how much they’re into her, etc. Maybe she’s just fishing for compliments, or maybe she is INCREDIBLY insecure. I’ll go with the latter. Lets face it, I’m guessing a girl like Jillian has never had this many guys showing interest in her at one time. Or pretending to at least. She admits she’s not a runway model and doesn’t have DD’s, or is a busty blonde, so I’m guessing that’s where her insecurity lies. Well, that and the fact that ABC is kicking themselves that Melissa turned them down this season.
-Kip: “I know you’re someone I can a life with.” After he says this, the date card shows up, and of course Jillian doesn’t forgo a 2nd chance to spend the night with Kip. I mean, he’s out of her league, right? So she needs to do everything in her power to lasso him in and make sure he doesn’t date women ten times better looking than she is. Good luck with that. For the sake of the show, lets just hope these two don’t end up together. After what happened last season, this show doesn’t need to transition into “America’s Most Boring Couple”. She can’t possibly end up with this guy, can she? And we’d have to hear updates about their life in future “Women Tell All” or “Where Are They Now” shows? God help us all. Then we’d have to see them continuously not know how to kiss each other in front of all of America. We will all lead better lives if these two don’t end up together. Lets put our hands together and now pray for that to happen. Amen.
-Reid is up next and Jillian is anxiously awaiting his arrival. I guess since Reid didn’t run to meet her, that didn’t score him any points. I’m sure Jillian’s warped thought process was, “Well, he didn’t run to me. Does he like me? Does he want to marry me? What if I choose him and he says no? Does he even know my name? Can I badger him more on how much he likes me?” Or something like that. Anyway, when Jillian greets him while holding the all-important beach ball. Because nothing says “fun in the sun” like a beach ball. That was seriously the stupidest thing I think I’ve seen all season. After they embrace, just to the two of them standing 10 feet apart throwing and kicking a beach ball to each other. Huh? Who came up with that idea? “I know, lets throw a beach ball to each other like we’re 3 years old. That’ll definitely bring us closer together.” If what happened at the end of the date with Ed wasn’t ridiculous, this took the cake for the episode. And still might’ve been the dumbest thing I’ve seen.
-Next, these two take a helicopter ride over Maui and find out that an ordained minister is actually the one flying it. Wow! What a coincidence! Of course, Reid wants none of it since he’s scared of commitment. For now, anyway. They land and have a picnic at the Hanna Maui Resort. Reid loves this place, “If I were to pick a place to live, it’d be right here.” Not saying much considering the guy lives in Philly. Now there’s a city I have been to so I guess now I’m allowed to call it one giant dump. Hmmmm, Philly or Maui? Tough one. Do I go with the polluted, crime infested, hell hole, or live on the beach in 85 degree weather all year? Anyway, Jillian jumps in immediately and asks him, “Hey, you gonna marry me?” I think. Reid responds with immediate hesitation of, “This is a first for me, I feel rushed, it’s hard for me, and I’m slower at this kind of stuff.” Translation: For Christ sakes, back off woman! Can a brotha’ get some air here? If we’re meant to be together, it’ll happen. I just kinda need more than six weeks before throwing a ring on someone. Geez.
-Shockingly, Jillian admits, “I need him to tell me how he’s feeling.” Really? Never could’ve guessed that. And this whole time, I thought you’ve been totally secure with each guy’s feelings and where you stand with all of them. She also informs Reid that as much as she’s love to stay in Canada, she’d move to Philly. Look, I know that I’ve been hard on Canada this season, but hey, not even I would take Philly over Vancouver. No thanks. I’ll buy my milk in bags and learn the metric system before dealing with Philadelphians any day of the week and twice on Sunday. They are quite the angry bunch, aren’t they? But Jillian isn’t done pressuring Reid. “I need you to think about everything if you’re ready to propose.” Reid: “Would I propose at the end of this? Maybe? Possibly. I’m indecisive. In life.” Yeah, probably not the answer Ms. Let-me-know-now-or-else-you’re-dead-to-me wants to hear. Reid, run for your life. Her insecurity will drive you up a wall. It’s doing it to me, that’s for sure.
-Man, it just doesn’t end with her. Jillian: “I’m not getting the answers I need, but I can see he’s trying.” Oh, well then “A” for effort for Reid. I’m sure he took consolation in that as he was sent away in his limo. He’s definitely trying, but with you nagging the hell out of him pushing for immediate answers, I’m guessing he’s a little put off by it. Reid: “So hard to just throw the ‘L’ word around. It could be at some point in the future.” See, here’s where Jillian is being completely unrealistic. She’s actually falling into the trap of believing the hype of this show. It’s like she’s so hell bent on getting proposed to that she’s missing the complete picture. I understand that she doesn’t want to make a mistake and pick a guy who might not be ready, but honestly, who really is ready after such a short time frame? Why can’t Reid’s answer of basically, “Look, I like you. I like where this is headed, and it could possibly turn into love down the road” be good enough? One guy has proposed after six weeks and the marriage ended up working, and that’s Ryan. None of these guys come across as ready to be married. And neither does Jillian. She seems to want to be married for the sake of being married, regardless of who it’s with.
-So after a day of badgering the witness, Jillian and Reid decide to relax back in the hotel suite by stripping off all their clothes (or at least the ones we saw lying on the floor), and take a bubble bath together. Was that necessary? A bubble bath? So uncomfortable watching those two seemingly naked in a tub together. I mean, they weren’t really naked, were they? Scary thought. If they were, and Reid were any sort of man whatsoever, the minute the cameras stopped rolling, or went out of the room, he would’ve said, “Screw this, we’re getting in the shower. Enough of this bubble nonsense.” However, something tells me they just talked the night away sipping on champagne in a bubble bath. Couldn’t they at least have sat side-by-side? Or maybe her in his lap with his back to her? That’s how it’s supposed to be done. Not playing footsies underwater you jackal. All in all, one of the more uncomfortable things to watch the whole night. Well, besides Jillian interrogating all three remaining men. I have expected her to have them sign paperwork confessing their love for her.
-Now it’s time for the date everyone wants to talk about, and that’s Ed. No, not because of what they did (sailed around on a catamaran), but because of what he was wearing. I honestly don’t know who decided to dress him that morning, but it certainly wasn’t anyone who cared for his well being. Holy Christ! Was he in a rush leaving for the date and accidentally grabbed a pair of his nephews shorts he mistakenly packed? Did he think they were in France and not Hawaii? How does someone rationally explain wearing those god awful shorts on national television? Bright green shorts to go with a blue tank top. European Ed not only has no fashion sense, but he’s colorblind as well. When you wear a bathing suit made for 13 year old boys on television, something is wrong with you. Ed needs help. On the catamaran, Jillian asks him to tell her the weirdest thing about him she doesn’t know. “My family calls me Richie.” Euro Richie needs all the help he can get at this point. The shorts are just mesmerizing dude. I can’t even concentrate on anything else happening here. If they were any tighter and shorter, you could be considered a male prostitute in some states.
-Now it’s time for these two to frolic around in the water. Jillian holds on tight, wraps her legs around his nuthuggers, as they jump off the boat to swim around. I’m sure she probably could’ve just balanced herself on his hard on if she wanted to. Ed, just go naked at this point, seriously. Your shorts are killing me. Even better news outside of his shorts getting smaller and smaller, is that he tells Jillian because he didn’t get a hometown date, he flew his parents out to Hawaii to meet her. Really? You flew them out there? On your own dime? Of course you did, Ed. And you exiting the show then returning was real too, right? Man, this guy is packing a bunch of lies. So much so that they don’t even fit in his shorts, or whatever it is that you call what he’s wearing. Last time I saw those worn in public, John Stockton was running the pick and roll with Karl Malone. Sorry ladies. Basketball reference. Hope it didn’t go over your head.
-So after the catamaran ride, Jillian meets Ed’s parents, Judy and Richie. Jillian: “You have no idea what your son has been putting me through.” I found that rather humorous. You mean, what the producers have been putting you through? Apparently, neither do all his girlfriends back in Chicago either. Just think of what they’re going through? Must be tough. I’m really starting to enjoy all this commotion with Ed, and his feelings, and the rumors of scorned women back in Chicago. This is good stuff. Maybe it’ll all come to a head soon. Any ex or current girlfriend that wants to speak up about what a creep he is, you know where to find me. And if you also want to tell us which “Gap Kids” he bought those shorts at, that’d be helpful as well. Judy and Jillian have a little talk outside and Jillian asks her, “Hey, does he like me? Huh, huh, huh?” Judy: “He’s definitely out of his element. I didn’t think this was something he’d do.” Neither did his flock of women back home. I love how in the time Jillian gets with his mom, she never once asked, “Hey, what’d he say when he was back home for a week? Any mention of his feelings, or what he was doing, or why he decided to leave then come back, or even how much he got paid to leave and come back?” That could’ve made for some interesting conversation.
-Now we watch Euro Richie and his dad have a heart-to-heart. Dad: “What the hell are we doing here?” Probably the funniest line of the season. Euro Richie should’ve responded with, “Dad, remember I told you. I agreed to leave the show with some work B.S. excuse only to come back to add more drama. Don’t you remember me telling you this before?” The younger Richie explains to pops that if Jillian picked him, he’d get engaged. Kind of a whirlwind Eddie the Dope has taken everyone on, hasn’t it? Leaves the show saying he can’t let down his co-workers, comes back with really no explanation whatsoever other than he couldn’t stop thinking of her, now he says that he’s ready for an engagement? Huh? I think the speedos he was wearing on the date are affecting the blood circulation to his brain. This guy is completely clueless as to what he wants. Of course, that doesn’t stop dad from buying it hook, line, and sinker. When he’s outside with Jillian, he tears up saying, “I’ve never seen Ed put his feelings on his shirt sleeve.” Or in his 3rd grade boy trunks. I’m totally confused as to what the hell little Richie has gotten himself into. I think he is too.
-Euro Richie: “I’m absolutely falling in love with you. I don’t care about anything else right now.” Yep, he’s completely in over his head. They go back to the hotel suite, and Jillian throws on, well, practically nothing and climbs all over him. No bra, a see through white shirt, and god knows if she had any panties on. It was soft core porn basically, except the lead female star has zero figure. So these two rubbing oils on each other and then apparently pass out. Of course, earlier in the season we were led to believe that this was the night Ed’s junk went out of order. Yeah, that’s really what happened. This show sickens me. They never even alluded to that last night. It was all about how Jillian and Eddie thought they were so into each other, but then when she was with him in the most intimate moments, she didn’t feel it. And by “it”, I’m not talking about Mr. Happy. She couldn’t understand why the physical chemistry wasn’t there. I think she blamed on a long day and being sunburnt. Sure, Jillian. That’s it. Sunburn. What a horrible excuse. You were practically naked climbing all over the guy and rubbing oils on each other and you’re saying there was no chemistry? Then you guys have got serious problems. Sunburn or no, if he wanted you that badly, he would’ve fought through it. When it comes to sex, usually nothing is getting in our way.
-Jillian is confused as to why both of them felt like they wanted to go to sleep rather than play hide the pickle. “Either the chemistry is not there, or there are other things going through his mind.” I’d say the latter. Dude has got hordes of women back home waiting on him hand and foot. Of course he’s a little gun shy on national television BS’ing about how he wants to marry you. Whatever the case, the hype machine that ABC built around what allegedly “malfunctioned” was right as we called it weeks ago. Nothing. Totally played something up that wasn’t there, and I think that’s why in recent weeks, they backed away from it in the previews. But that first preview alluding to it basically wanted everyone to think, “They are going to have sex on the overnight date but one guy can’t wake the sleeping giant”. Nice try, ABC. Real smooth. Such a classy show.
-OH MY GOD!!!!! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this? I never thought we’d see the return of it!!! The ridiculous video messages for Jillian!!! Weeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! Awesome. It’s probably been 6 or 7 seasons since we’ve seen these. These used to be a staple on the show until it became so ridiculously fake. First up, Kiptyn.
Kiptyn: “It’s been an amazing ride. From Southern California, to Canada, to San Diego, to Span, and now here in Hawaii. This feels like it could be the beginning of a great relationship. Lets do this!” WHAT??? Lets do this? Is he a high school senior now? Who says that? Seems like he’s really taking this show seriously.
Reid: “I have so many emotions and feelings for you. I know I avoided questions or reversed the questions back on you. This is all crazy and exciting at the same time.” Uhhhh, I don’t think that message made her heart flutter one bit. Nice going you failure.
Ed: “You’re beautiful, intelligent, and funny. I would love an opportunity to spend the rest of my life with you and propose to you. I love you.” Yikes. Layin’ it on a little thick there, don’t you think? Or just telling her what she wants to hear.
-Host Chris comes out and tells the boys, “Ok, here’s the deal. One of you is saying goodbye and will be on a plane back home tonight.” Sure they will, Chris. Another lie. Jillian comes out to give her pre-rose speech. “I’m definitely falling in love with all of you. I’m confused, but hey, at least I’m falling in love?” One of the worst speeches ever. What, is she trying to justify everything now? She’s confused as can be. So before she dumps Reid, she needs to pull European bikini model aside and make sure that he’s more unsure of everything going on. And he is. Richie: “I’m having a hard time adjusting to everything. There’s a lot of external things going on that I’m adjusting to (like having three girlfriends). Don’t worry about it. I promise you.” Translation: Worry about it. He basically just told her his head’s not all there, but hey, since he was the only one who threw out the “L” word and promised engagement at the end, I guess that punches his ticket to the final two.
Kiptyn: We are only two weeks away possibly from the worst couple this show has ever produced.
Ed: What’s the deal with the white pants a light blue jacket? Is he aware that this show is watched by millions of people? Man, and I thought the show had it out for Wes. Someone is playing a cruel joke on Richie and he doesn’t know it.
-So it’s time for Reid to say bye-bye. For now. Jillian: “I need a best friend and someone to laugh with. I worry that we’re in different places in our life. You don’t seem to be willing to take that chance.” Translation: If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it. If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it. Whoa uh oh, uh uh oh, whoa uh oh. Reid is heartbroken. I think. “I should’ve told her. Don’t know if that would’ve changed anything. Maybe I screwed myself. I was definitely falling in love with her. Don’t think she knows that. This whole thing is my fault. It would’ve been a lot easier if I told her I loved her. I think I f***ed up. If I could reverse things I would.”
-After breaking the news of what happened with Jason/Melissa/Molly last season, whether I like or not, I’ve somehow become the de facto “Bachelor” authority. A lot of you think I have all the answers. I don’t. Never said I did. I tell you all stuff that I know for sure. And when its rumored, I specify its rumor. POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!So as for the finale, here’s what I can tell you: I’m not sure what happens. Sure, I have some ideas based on things I’ve heard, but nothing that I’m 100% confident about to say, “Ok, here is what you’ll see in 2 weeks”. I don’t think I’m going out on a limb here when I say that Reid plays a pretty big role in what happens in the finale. Maybe he professes his love, maybe he comes back to propose, whatever the case, he plays a role in it. If he didn’t, he would’ve appeared at the “MTA” taping this past weekend, sat on the hot seat, and answered questions about his journey. They’ve done that every season for 17 seasons, why would this be any different? If I’m wrong, and we don’t see Reid at all, then I’ll own up to it. But I think he plays a role in the finale. Especially with his send off saying, “I should’ve told her that I loved her”, and, “If I could reverse things, I would.” It’s kinda like Ed’s departure in that they’re setting up a return. And the no-show at the “MTA” tapings confirm that suspicion even more.
-As for who Jillian picks, here’s what I do know: We are not going to get a normal ending. We are not going to see Jillian pick one guy, he proposes, she accepts, and they are happy in love. That I’m 99% sure about. For all the reasons I spoke of last week in regards to the answers she’s been giving about the rest of the season. If she was in love, she would’ve told us by now in interviews. If she was engaged, she would’ve admitted it. However, that doesn’t mean that she isn’t or won’t be soon. What do I mean by that? This is strictly my prediction based on all the information I’ve gathered: I think when we watch the 2 hour finale on Monday night the 27th, we are not going to get a final resolution to anything. I’m also 99% sure that the final one is not Kiptyn, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s Ed. I think Mike Fleiss and Co. saw what a big deal the “ATFR” show was last season, and we will get a cliffhanger leading into the “ATFR” show on Tuesday. One extra night means more eyeballs, which means more viewers, and more ad dollars, which means more money for them. Why not just air the “ATFR” after the finale? Why wait til the next night? I think they’re going to capitalize on a cliffhanger from Monday night, the 27th.
-So what could happen that could make them leave us with a cliffhanger leading into Tuesday’s “ATFR” show? Reid could come back and propose, she could be all set on Ed being her guy, then he tells her about his numerous women at home and it freaks her out, Kiptyn could admit to being the worst kisser ever, she could pull a Womack after hearing something and decide that she needs more time, maybe all three propose and she’s completely blown away, etc. Could be any number of things. What know is that we will not have a normal two hour finale. Something is going to happen which will force you to tune in to Tuesday night to get the resolution you’re looking for. If I was leaning one way, I’d say that Jillian makes her decision on someone, or no one, on Tuesday night. But that’s just a guess. I could be absolutely 100% dead wrong. But since so many of you have asked in recent weeks what I think/know happens, there’s my answer. If I find anything about before then, I’ll let you know, but that’s where I stand right now. Sorry to disappoint those of you who think I know everything. Not this season. Congrats to ABC for doing a much better job this season of keeping a lid on things.
So that’s it for this week. Back on Friday with our first “Reality Roundup” in almost a month. Sorry about that. The interviews started to take precedence and took up more time than I thought. Any questions, comments, emails, criticisms, praises, email me at steve@realitysteve.com.
July 14th, 2009 at 1:52 PM
YOU ARE BACK!!!! Awesome recap Steve!! That was so great to read! Thank you!!!
July 14th, 2009 at 2:55 PM
Great recap!
I wanted to puke in my mouth when I saw the Jason/Molly thing. Do they really think these people are celebrity status that it’s going to draw people to this promotion? Doubt it. That and every single woman in America probably watches The Bachelor and HATES Jason Mesnick. Duh.
Can’t wait for MTA and ATFR.
July 14th, 2009 at 3:10 PM
Oh goodnees I couldn’t contain myself when you went on and on about Ed’s shorts…LMAO…great stuff! I too noticed that Jillian barely even jumped off the pole…LAME! I was like c’mon at least TRY! Gives women a bad name…sheesh!
One thing I have noticed over the course of the season is I don’t think Jillian is the bad kisser…I think it’s Kiptyn…she does not look as akward with Ed and Reid as she does with Kip…he has no smoothness to it…Ed and Reid are both good kissers, you can tell because its so much more natural and smooth. Watching Jillian and Kiptyn kiss just hurts…sorry Kiptyn I guess that’s what’s wrong with you!
Go Reid! I hope he does come back and make her see…otherwise she is dumb…he is definitely the one and if she doesn’t see that then she is certifiable.
July 14th, 2009 at 3:30 PM
Hi- I am new to this site, but really love to read all of your recaps- I wanted to throw my opinion out there, I think Ed is adorable, he looks like a goof ball sometimes but he is cute, I don’t know if that is all true about his girlfriends back home (I hope not) but I think what happened with last night’s -fantasy date- was that ABC needed to create some drama with Jill and Ed because they had already “done it” the week before in the fantasy suite (remember, “we are sleeping with our clothes on”) ya right! as soon as those camera’s were gone, you know they got naked!! so this week, they had to make it look like he couldn’t perform or get it up, whatever- that was such BS, I saw that one coming a mile away……and even if Ed was nervous?? give the guy a break, you know she “slept” with the other 2 guys just the night before, so if I were the next guy, I wouldn’t want to jump on that either- that is just gross and un-classy….. it doesn’t make Jillian look good when she is throwing herself on these guys…. and what is she talking about “no chemistry” every time they see eachother that can’t keep their tongues in there mouth….
I also don’t like Kiptin (Pippin, as I like to call him) he seems like a player and is just on the show to get more girls to fall over him when he gets back home (never been heart broken, give me a break)
I like Reid, he seems kinda weird to me?, I agree with you RealitySteve in which he comes back at the finale and gets Jillian all confused and such…. such drama (LOL)!!
I like Jillian and think she is a cute girl, (I wouldn’t mind having her body)
Keep up the good work RealitySteve, I love to read your funny stories…
July 14th, 2009 at 4:50 PM
Oh Steve, you had me rolling in laughter over Ed’s attire! Very wonderful recap, thank you. I will admit that last night was pretty horrible to watch in a lot of aspects, and I fast-forwarded through most of it. I don’t think I watched more than 2 minutes of Ed, and even in fast motion and no sound he came across as a complete loser, and this is coming from someone who once liked the Ed character. I did catch his Dad asking what he was doing there and found it hilarious. And the whole “we were sunburned and tired thing” I can somewhat understand because when you are sunburned it can suck, but to have absolutely nothing happen when the girl is throwing herself at you is a huge sign that he’s not interested. He never has been, I think. And I wanted to know if they were so sunburned, how come in the following interviews and the rose ceremony they looked ok to me? Do they have some sort of miracle cream that takes away the sunburned look for celebrities, because it usually takes me a couple of weeks to get through that phase.
I agree with your assessment on the possible endings 100%. There have now been many signs leading to Reid coming back – his dad telling him to fight, Chris saying the guy leaving would be on a plane that night, the stuff they showed in the limo, etc. It seemed pretty obvious a few episodes ago that this is where the producers were going to take the story. Not being at the MTA is another sign. Plus you read Jillian’s blog and she really doesn’t go into much detail about why she ditched Reid. She kind of skims over him and then goes into Ed.
I think the MTA will be a horrible, boring thing that I will probably tape but only so I can watch it if something shocking happens and I want to see it for myself. But it already looks like it will be the “ABC gets back at Wes for opening his big mouth” show…and tie that in with the “Jason and Molly love story of the 21st century”…I’ll pass.
I will say this though. If they choose Ed or Kiptyn as the Bachelor next season who will watch? I hear Kiptyn got that deal, but he’s so boring and brings nothing to the table so I can’t imagine why they’d sign him on. “Nine-pack abs” can only hold ones attention for so long. If they get Ed though, maybe they can bring on all 25 of his girlfriends that he’s seeing throughout the city of Chicago. Can you imagine the cat fights and drama? I’d watch that train wreck of humiliation.
July 14th, 2009 at 4:55 PM
Great job on the recap Steve, I laughed hysterically. Even though I must admit that I really didn’t mind looking at Ed in those ridiculous shorts last night, but your take on the “euro shorts” is spot on. I might add that my mother, a senior citizen + also commented on what nice legs Ed has!! By the way, I don’t care if you have an inside track to the finale or not, who cares anyway, isn’t it more fun to make fun of the show each week. Reading this column made wasting 2 hours of my life last night worth it. Thanks for your great insight and humor, I appreciated it even if I live an hour or so outside of Philly!!!!
July 14th, 2009 at 6:09 PM
Come on – that bedroom scene with Ed was so scripted – do you really believe the cameras were just outside (or inside) the room during their intimate moments to know about this? Or that Jillian went outside and announced it to them – ‘hey, come on in everybody – I want to share this man’s most humiliating experience with you – and with the rest of the world’? Do you think Ed would even still be there if he was really humiliated in that way?? He must have been paid off handsomely!
July 14th, 2009 at 6:55 PM
Catherine a–you are SOOOO right. The bedroom scene was scripted, not to mention icky to watch. Ed is totally being compensated for all of this.
This column was truly funny! Thanks RS. I’m glad you mentioned Ed’s awful clothing. Men should not wear blousy cotton tank tops. Or short shorts.
This episode was one big yawn! If Kiptyn the human sleeping pill is the next bachelor, I will be very dissapointed. Jillian’s desperation to wed and procreate is really unappealing/boring too. She seems really naive. And sorry, but she and Ed were totally wasted and giggling in front of his parents. She is wasted on every show, which may explain her hideous sense of fashion as well as her crappy choice in men.
July 14th, 2009 at 7:17 PM
Steve, why does my McAfee Site Advisor tell me not to go to your page? It says your page contains links that can breach my browsers security…
July 14th, 2009 at 7:20 PM
LOVED the recap! Thank you for going on about Ed’s shorts and tank, I needed a good laugh. You know, I heard that 70’s style was back, but didn’t know it was the 70’s style of a 7 year old boy. Doesn’t this show provide anyone to help with styling? Then his rose ceremony outfit….was that seer-sucker? Oh, my! Ed, a word of advice: When in doubt, a nice dark suit is always acceptable.
July 14th, 2009 at 7:24 PM
I agree with those who have said that the bedroom scene b/t Jillian & Ed was scripted. Like Catherine said, who would share that? If she really thought there was no chemistry she’d send him home and that would be it. I don’t buy the whole ‘no chemistry’ line anyway. Last week Jillian kept talking about how she just wanted to kiss Ed, they were making out in fountains and all over Spain and suddenly POOF, no chemistry. And I must say, I really could have done w/out the scene where they were rubbing each other down in oil. Gag me!
Honestly, I know I’ll keep watching this show because there isn’t much else on but I could honestly care less who she picks. I have only watched 2 seasons – Jason’s season and now Jillian’s and Jason’s season really held my interest but this season all the drama has just seemed so set up and contrived. But thanks for making me laugh with your comments on Ed’s super short shorts! Made watching that incredibly boring 2 hour episode worth it!
July 14th, 2009 at 7:27 PM
nataly1122 : Get a Mac!
July 14th, 2009 at 7:36 PM
I’m wondering if perhaps they told Jillian to not talk about engagement or being in love to throw you off in your predictions Steve?
Recap was hilarious. I nearly fell out of my chair laughing with the “she could’ve just balanced herself on his hard on” comment. I don’t agree with you about her looks though. I think she’s very beautiful.
I will be watching MTA next week, but I think I’d rather get needles inserted under my fingernails than have to sit through another segment about how wonderful Jason and Molly are doing. HURL. Seriously, who gives a fiddlers fuck about them anymore?? Can we move on??
July 14th, 2009 at 8:00 PM
Great recap Steve– loved the Beyonce song reference to Reid (made me LOL)!
What I don’t get is why we don’t see anything about these guys getting to meet HER family– she goes on and on about how important it is and I do remember them from Jason’s season– her very opinionated grandmother. Seems like if she is really serious about this then her family should be involved too!
I know this show is contrived, but I keep hoping for real romance and a happy ending every season… Probably not this one from what I’ve seen– thanks Steve for helping me not to get too caught up in the charade!
I relly feel Ed is not genuine and when he said “I Love you” in the video–made me roll my eyes. Reid seems the most “real”. I hope he comes back somehow!!
July 14th, 2009 at 8:19 PM
First, I think you are fab. Love, love, love reading your Bachelorette updates. Hilarious and quite insightful.
Second, a question. Why (do you think) are the final two not going to meet J’s parents/family? Isn’t that standard? So these guys are going to potentially propose to J having not met her family??? What is your take?
July 14th, 2009 at 8:26 PM
I’m surprised at the oversight of one fact that I think is blatant proof that this situation with Little Ritchie and his green banana hammock is staged. Prior to Jillian changing into that horrible excuse for lingerie, (What was that?!?) it appeared that she had some one-on-one time with the camera where she described how the date had been going so far. She was wearing the dress she had on during their time in the fantasy suite at that point.
Didn’t anyone notice that when she was filmed talking about the bedroom snafu, she was in the same dress she had been wearing earlier in the night? In theory, shouldn’t the comments about the lack of chemistry have been filmed in that “wicked” Hanes nighty she was wearing when the lights went back on or even the next day? Sure, there’s a chance she changed back into that dress and pulled it together for a confessional. Or possibly this was another hack job of editing and the lack of chemistry really did happen earlier in the night. I think chances are probably good that the producers sat her down for her comments earlier in the night and she just ran through a laundry list of things she was told to say to create this storyline with Ed. Everything between the two of them seems like piss poor acting if you ask me.
July 14th, 2009 at 8:35 PM
Who said the guys wouldn’t meet her parents? Maybe they are going to Hawai’i as well (since ABC loves to fly parents in). After all, the finale IS two hours long!
July 14th, 2009 at 8:43 PM
Reality Steve, here is what I think will happen.
Ed: He tells Jillian that he had a girlfriend back in Chicago, BUT that when Ed went back home earlier in the show, it was for the purpose of breaking up with his girlfriend. Ed had feelings for Jillian and had to dump his girlfriend. Ed’s conscience is now cleared and he returns to the show as a single man to court Jillian. This makes Jillian think twice about Ed.
Reid: At the final rose ceremony, Reid comes back and professes his love for Jillian and gets down on one knee and proposes to Jillian.
Kiptyn: Think the producers of the show pre-selected Kiptyn to be the next Bachelor. So Kiptyn was guaranteed a spot as one of the final 2 guys but Jillian doesn’t pick him so that he can go on to be next season’s Bachelor. It is clear that Kiptyn is just not that into Jillian from what we’ve seen.
In the end, I think Jillian will pick Reid.
July 14th, 2009 at 8:46 PM
Reid should count his lucky stars. I hope for his sake he is not brought back. Jillian is not his type and he needs someone with more functioning gray matter. She did not fit is at all with his family.
July 14th, 2009 at 8:47 PM
I was so happy when I saw Ed’s shorts because I knew it would give you good material. I do have to say I am so sad you did not watch the very end where they added the out-take where Ed called them his “mankini.” Holy hell!! I wanted to hear you go off on that!
July 14th, 2009 at 8:51 PM
Seriously, this was the FUNNIEST recap!!!! I was laughing so hard at my desk at work that I actually had to make an effort to contain myself. Thanks for the entertainment! HILARIOUS!!!!
July 14th, 2009 at 8:56 PM
Oh my gosh, I almost peed myself. That was HILARIOUS. I thought the same thing when he walked out. I turned to my husband (who yes, I force to watch the show with me) and said, “NO one can wear my John Stockton’s shorts but Johnny. They died when he retired.” WTF?! Hilarious. It’s like you couldn’t look away from them. Major train wreck. And the two different colored blues with the white pants. Is this a sick dare or are they paying him a HELL of a lot of money to look like a freak on national tv. Yikes. I know there’s editing, but it sure seems like the producers don’t much care for him. Whatever he says is so contrived, or incoherent, I struggle with a label. Creep? Badly dressed, slimy, creep? Yuaeh. Reid seems like the ONLY normal fellow on the show. (Did anyone else notice Chris’s recent eye job? Where in God’s name are his eyebrows?) Run free grasshopper, run while you still can. She’s too needy and philly will like like Hawaii after more than a month with her. You can still get out. There is still time!! alas…
July 14th, 2009 at 8:59 PM
Great recap Steve! Now if you will just stop making excuses for your BFF Wes then you will be back to your old self.
July 14th, 2009 at 9:03 PM
Well now I wish I had watched just to see Ed in these horrible shorts! Any pics out there? lol
July 14th, 2009 at 9:21 PM
RS, you need to give Jilli a break. Just because she doesn’t have gigantic cans then you rip her apart. She has a fantastic figure- fabulous legs, great abs, beautiful eyes and smile, she just doesn’t have the boobs. Leave her alone. I think she’s a doll.
I also think Ed’s “mankini” was an inside joke- they joked about it when the show was over. Regardless, I think he seems scripted and maybe he didn’t make the moves on her in the suite because he has the girlfriend back home.
Love, love REID! you didn’t say anything about his “honey bear” comment in the video. I think he is so witty and hilarious. Soy grande. He cracks me up.
And Kip is nice but no passion, boring, obvious he’s not into Jill. Reid is. Come back REID!!!!!!
July 14th, 2009 at 9:32 PM
Another hilarious recap. As a female, appreciate the translations. As a female who was raised on the old continent, I feel obliged to come to the defence of the shorts. They could’ve been better style trunks but come on! The boarding shorts’ length that is de rigueur here is becoming ridiculous, another year and it will be full leg pant for mens’ beachwear. Let’s be fair, I’d like to survey the merchandise as well if I have to have mine on display in a skimpy bikini. Ed is a trailblazer in more ways than one though, and I’m having great fun watching his shenanigans, verbal and otherwise.
July 14th, 2009 at 9:34 PM
What fun! Euro Richie, Beyonce, High School Human Sleeping Pill … great recap! I hope that Reid comes back and Jillian comes to her senses and lets the poor guy get his head space together. I’m beginning to wonder if Ed and Kiptyn are a set up to get Reid to make a move.
July 14th, 2009 at 10:04 PM
Congratulations Steve on two counts,firstly,great recap,I still love your blog whether you are being serious or sarky! Secondly, you`ve managed to alienate an entire continent by referring to those shorts and Euro in the same sentence!I don`t care what anyone says,that Ed is gay!First,he wore those shorts,then he couldn`t get it up in the fantasy suit (the term “holiday fling” would never have been coined if sunburn and jet lag were an impediment to getting it on/up) and then if that wasn`t enough he turned up in that suit….definitely gay. Judy and Richie may prepare themslves for a bigger surprise than the shock of finding themselves in Maui.I think RS is spot on: Reid will be back in some way,shape or form for a cliffhanger and I think Drippy Kippy is going to be the next bachelor,SMOJ!
July 14th, 2009 at 10:15 PM
Great recap, as always. Steve, you say what we are all screaming at our tvs on Monday nights! haha
I thought the dates were very dull (shocker) and Jillians constant interrogation on “intentions and feelings” was uncomfortable and desperate. Gawd, she is really really needy, huh? I understand wanting to find someone who is actually into you….but berating them isnt gonna make them instantly realize you are the girl of their dreams….
Did anyone realize that as soon as she and Kip accepted the fantasy card, it cut to commercial and we saw no more?? (not that I minded…awkward!) But, just thought it was odd compared to the uncomfortable bubble bath w/ Reid and the hot oil porno with Ed…
Oh, and for those asking why the guys havent (or wont) meet Jillians family, watch closely on those video messages. Kiptyn’s in particular. He clearly says “my hometown, your hometown…blah blah” So, I think maybe they *did* meet her fam, and just didnt show it?? Perhaps something to come, but pre-taped, to fill empty boring air time? IDK. Just a thought. But, go rewatch that. He clearly siad he met her family, so I assume the same is true of the rest of the final few….
As for the finale and the ATFR, I couldnt agree more. So much foreshadowing on this season to try to create drama where there is none. Groan. I do think Reid comes back and proposes, and it throws J for a loop. I think she was all set to pick Eddie Dean Piven Jr and his tightie shorties…..but then asked for more time. Hence the “cliffhanger” (as if anyone cares)
I will be DVRing the MTA so I can FF thru all the boring BS and bad edits on Wes. Probably wont be much else. But I will be damned if I have to watch Jason& Molly drooling on each other. Blech.
Waiting eagerly for your Reality Roundup. Sorely missed.
July 14th, 2009 at 10:21 PM
I admire Jillian for not getting a boob job, she has a cute shape. I was in Malibu last week and every woman there has had a boob job and/or face lift.
July 14th, 2009 at 10:38 PM
Hmmm … me thinks when I see wide-eyed Ed in those 1970’s shorts and his rose ceremony outfit, I am thinking he’s a clone of Greg Brady
Great recap, RS!
July 15th, 2009 at 12:07 AM
First you’re right Jillian doesn’t have a good shape. I feel she is probably a nice person, but the shape isn’t doing it. His my theory on the finale. Chris H. says it’s a dramatic finale. I hear Ed in VO saying he didn’t want to hurt her, but he’s got to do this. I believe he will confess or just dump her. Jillian said in preview, it was hard hearing the things he said. This happens after she rejects Kiptyn or he bow out. Tptb gets Reid to come back to propose to Jillian, so she doesn’t look like a fool or be embrassed on national tv, I can’t see Reid coming back on his own to propose to her, I don’t think he’s that into her for that step. The last 5 minutes. I think she will turn him down, and even give him the last rose for doing what he did. I think she chooses no one.
July 15th, 2009 at 12:34 AM
Nice blog Steve.Man is this show jumping the shark this season? It’s totally over scripted. I have a bunch of girlfriends that thought Jillian would be great before the season started and now no of them can stand her.I loved all your reasons for not liking her. I said the same things from the beginning to all my girl friends.
What is this BS about needing to have sex to know if you have chemistry? You know if you want to rip someones clothes off long before you actually do.
July 15th, 2009 at 1:14 AM
Very funny stuff here, R.S., laughed until my sides hurt. Has the sleaze factor crept into this show or what? I do think the Ed overnight date was a set-up, just can’t figure out why Jillian and Ed agreed to do it. (Or not do it, as it turned out.) Jill changing to a cut-down-to-the-navel top and the slow, sensuous massaging of oil left no doubt as to what the scene was intended to convey. I don’t think that leaving viewers with the impression that Jillian may be intimate with all three men shows much respect for her by the producers, but I don’t think they care about that. I wonder how the man she chose (I hope it’s Reid) would feel watching that last night. Of course if it’s Ed, (whose clothes are sending me a gay vibe), it doesn’t matter much. It’s pretty unrealistic how Jillian is pushing for a proposal and engagement and is nagging and grilling the guys to make sure she gets that, I think such behavior would turn most men off instead.
July 15th, 2009 at 1:37 AM
My 50 year old hubby wants his old high school shorts back! Send ‘em home, Eddie-Richie! I had to show my hubby the recording of Reid, just to tell him how much alike Reid and my hubby are/were…. why does Jill keep saying she can’t tell how he feels when I heard him twice say “I’m scared” in situations when it would be smart to be scared: 1)when Jillian warns you she wants a proposal during dinner, or it’s your last date, and 2)when the fantasy suite card appears, and you realize your gonna have to take a bath with her and a cameraman, and a producer… and she’s gonna want another proposal in the tub. Why does she think she’s entitled to be engaged? Reid shows a thorough, appropriate, and long-lost respect for the importance of being engaged. IF he loves her, he should have told her, but if not, he did okay… maybe he should’ve told her was “falling in love” with her, as I consider that to be nearly totally a non-promise, anyway. If a cute guy treated me as nice as he does, back in the day, I would not have let him go easily. I hope he’s already met a smart, funny, blah blah all that new girl in Maui and is planning to move there to be with her RIGHT NOW. Then I hope Jillian asks him back, and gets his voice mail. I’m mean!!
July 15th, 2009 at 1:38 AM
Imagine if she picks Ed, and they get engaged. Every interview will start out with a reference to his “problem in the bedroom” and ask if he’s taking viagra now.
July 15th, 2009 at 2:57 AM
OMG! I love what you wrote.You’re hysterical! To me, Ed gets creepier by the minute. He always looks uncomfortable…Yet, out of the three he was the most comfortable about expressing his feelings for Jillian..Interesting! ….Thsnk God ABC finally flew Ed’s parents in. Jillian didn’t shut up about it! It was making me so irritated that I was ready to fly them in…I thought that segment was weird. Again, I thought it was creepy that Ed’s parents didn’t understand or know why he was on the show… OY!
I’m a total Reid fan from the very beginning. I love his whole package, the vulnerbility, the indecisivness, the family, the glasses, his shyness..He’s human! By the way, I think Jillian loved Reid’s family as well. ….Reid is definetly coming back! those of you who taped the last show, go back to the very end when Jillian says goodbye to Reid and sends him off. They are smirking at eachother. It’s almost an underlying secret Bachelorette subliminal message. Check it out!!You’ll get it!
Oh I almost forgot about our little handsome valiant Kiptyn. He’s adorable & very sexy. Visually he looks the best with Jillian. But my connections tell me he is going to be Mr. Bachelor next season. PERFECT!
It couldn’t be any better for ABC! He was such a good boy at the rose ceremony. While Jillian was crying on the bench about Reid departing, he never left his spot. Ed made his way over in his project runway outfit but Kiptyn didn’t budge..I kinda wanted him too! That scene was so weird
O.K…..The ending! Reid comes back! Let me rephrase that! Reid had better come back…My theory is that when they spent the night together Jillian told Reid it’s his last chance. Again, since they had this “beat around the bush” relationship she said to him you’re gonna have to fight for me because i have feelings for all three of you. Put out or get out!
Oh, I just want to throw in that Reid was the only Bachelor that showed any signs of jealousy. The other two never gave it a second thought.I found that quite interesting…..
I hope the elimination and Limo ride back to the hotel empowered Reid.
I have faith in Reid…He’ll be back for Jillian!
July 15th, 2009 at 6:29 AM
Someone posted here that there is no mention of the final two meeting Jillian’s family. If they had already planned for Reid to come back in the final 5 minutes of the FRC and she somehow says yes, what is the point of the other two meeting her family? But I could be wrong.
Another thought. Don’t you see a difference since Ed came back? Before he left he wasn’t such a bad dresser. It’s like the producers gave him this new persona. I dont think Jillian will pick him. After Wes left he is the one that is not shown in the best light. And they never do that with the F1.
Last one. If Kiptyn is the next bachelor, I’m not watching it. He is boring, his voice is monotonous and he always has the same facial expession, whatever he is feeling at the moment. He is good looking but not in an exciting way. And if anybody looks gay in this show, its him.
July 15th, 2009 at 7:14 AM
I really don’t have too much to add with one exception…..THIS HAS PROBABLY BEEN THE MOST BORING SEASON I CAN REMEMBER!!!! With exceptions of Ed’s “mankini” and that stupid bubble bath scene, there has been NOTHING for me to look forward to. Being the creature of habit that I am, I cannot resist tuning in every Monday just to see how ABC further insults my intelligence!!!
There is NO CHEMISTRY with any of these dudes!! Had Jillian chosen to keep Jake around (the only one of these Bozos even close to being suited for her) then I think the finale could have been interesting….pitting Jake against Mr Studly (Ed in all his glory or lack therof) would have been FUN!!! Kiptyn is such a bore and doesn’t want to commit obviously….Reid…WHATEVER…can you say goofy?? Oh well, I’ll finish out this season feeling let down, and have wasted all of these hours of my life that I can NEVER get back on what I have to say has been the MOST LAME season I can EVER remember!
July 15th, 2009 at 7:30 AM
You know the tv show is just that, a tv show, and while some of your comments make me laugh out loud, I really don’t understand why YOU get so upset. Almost sounds like sour grapes or something. What are you really, a rejected bachelor?
July 15th, 2009 at 8:10 AM
The only good thing about this show is your recap, RS. Fleiss needs to fire ALL the writers and start over. It’s obvious to everyone that Kiptyn will be the next bachelor–he and Jill have ZERO chemistry together, yet he’s in the F2. And what the hell did they do with Ed? From leading man to Liberace in one week–come on, guys, no straight male over the age of 6 would be wearing clothes like that. At least they couldn’t get Ed’s dad to lie. “Why the Hell are we here?” Best. line. ever.
Seriously, all the “Is he really gone? Is he coming back?” drama from this season got old real fast. Is it just me, or does it seem like there has been almost no real attraction between Jill and ANY of these guys? I know it’s all fake and scripted, but I’ve seen better actors and actresses in high school plays. C’mon, Fleiss–you can do better than this. And quit dressing Ed like Elton John.
July 15th, 2009 at 8:11 AM
I have to agree with whodeydiva, Jilly has absolutely no chemistry with any of these guys. It’s hard to watch, especially last episode with Ed and the body oil.. gross! Two terrible actors turning a family hour program into mild porn (my 11 year old daughter was watching and I had to send her out of the room!) Regardless, whoever she chooses, it won’t last unless they drop to their knees and proclaim their never ending love for her since that’s all she seems to want to hear. And can she please stop biting her fingernails when she’s on romantic dinners with these guys. Euro Eddie is a total Cheese in my opinion, Kiptyn is good looking, but dull and Reid just doesn’t belong there. This season has been painful to watch, once they got rid of the Dave and Juan show, it went downhill from there. Just my two cents, keep up the great recaps, I was laughing so hard I was crying when you were talking about Eddie’s mankini. Spot on!
July 15th, 2009 at 8:14 AM
Everyone keeps asking about the guys meeting Jillian’s family. ALWAYS, the final two meet the bachelor/bachelorette’s parents on the finale. They have family time, and then the couple has one more evening together, and then she/he makes their decision.
July 15th, 2009 at 8:23 AM
Well, I hope Jill’s grandmother is there. I hope she brings that Ukrainian guy with her, because that’s the only way Jill will find a lasting relationship this time.
July 15th, 2009 at 8:24 AM
Steve, For several seasons I have looked forward to your recaps just as much as even watching the show. You were hilarious. Now, though, your recaps seem bitter and hateful. Even when I agree with what you are saying, the way you say it is so undercutting and mean. Not sure why the unfortunate change??? You know, most of us that read your column do so b/c we love the show, even if it is staged. (And I agree, this season has been completely staged!) I can’t think it would be good for your site to turn off many of your readers. For those of you who may be looking for the old, hilarious recaps that Steve used to give… try this website:
http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/
She is so funny, and she doesn’t make you feel like an idiot for watching (and enjoying) the show!
July 15th, 2009 at 8:44 AM
Camille ~
I just lost 5 minutes of my precious life that i will NEVER get back… seriously. the blog “trying” to be funny. no thanks.
July 15th, 2009 at 8:46 AM
Steve, I have been a fan of your blog for the past couple of years – I can always count on you for a good laugh every Tuesday! I know you have taken a lot of crap for exposing what a joke this show really is, and you probably are not enjoying your new role as the ‘de facto “Bachelor†authority’, but I just want to say thank you and keep up the good work. Clearly, if Laurel is getting phone calls from random people who are angry about her “relationship” with Wes, there are many borderline crazy people out there who need a reality check. That being said, I hope you will continue to post not only your highly entertaining recaps, but the inside info and interviews you are privy to as well. I have already decided this is the last season of The Bachelor/Bachelorette I will watch, so I am relying on you for the scoop!
July 15th, 2009 at 8:55 AM
The only reality TV I watch is Bachelorette, and I was gung-ho about MTA until I heard your entire interview with Wes. I was one of those Texans who was embarrassed about the way he’s behaved on this show, but now I’m embarrassed about my own lack of realizing how slanted ABC is with their editing. I couldn’t imagine that Jillian would keep him around if their wasn’t more to him than we were seeing. Yes, she admits liking bad boys; but Wes appeared to be the “baddest” boy of all. Now, I’m sure that was completely ABC’s total focus on drama and ratings-seeking at the expense of a human being. PATHETIC! Now, I don’t even want to watch MTA; and furthermore, after ATFR this year, I may not even watch the show any longer. However, I just want to know if Wes decided on his own not to attend MTA or (as I read on another blog) that he was asked NOT to show up by ABC. If the latter is true, that really IS an admission that they screwed him during the show and don’t want their viewers to hear his side.
July 15th, 2009 at 9:02 AM
I can’t believe I never noticed Ed’s shorts — I’ll have to run it back and watch that part again. I’m obviously not a very observant person! Thank you, Steve, for all the great info. I feel the producers have ruined what used to be a fun and interesting show, with all the blatant manipulation and deception. I guess they don’t believe a bunch of men, vying for one lady, doesn’t produce enough genuine “catfights” as compared to a houseful of women fighting over one man, without manufacturing them. It’s a shame that some real people’s lives have been negatively impacted by this. I think it has gotten worse each consecutive year, but that may be just because I’m now being made aware of it. I’m enjoying your site, diatribes and all!
July 15th, 2009 at 9:10 AM
My prediction: She will offer the final rose to someone, but there will either be no proposal, or she’ll deflect it by saying, “let’s just see how it goes from here”. That is really how all these seasons should end up, when you get right down to it. An engagement ring is really not reasonable after the short amount of time involved — it’s more about finding a compatible person to pursue a relationship with. So I’m okay with that.
July 15th, 2009 at 9:12 AM
Steve, great recap and I laughed out loud. Gotta say I thought you’d have more comments on Richie’s daddy and his looks…..it was like watching a good comedy with the scenes of Richie and his mommy and daddy…..almost like going back to Three’s Company and Stanley and Helen Roper. Keep up the good work.
July 15th, 2009 at 9:14 AM
@Camille
seriously, it is not good. Sorry! Steve finally got back to the good stuff this week. That website is a lame attempt at being funny. I am sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s just not funny!
July 15th, 2009 at 9:16 AM
Hey Steve! Another great recap! The second I saw Ed’s shorts, I knew it was going to be a good recap. He looked totally ridiculous. If I were Jillian, I would have told him, “WTF are you wearing? You need to get off this boat and get some man shorts! Dont think about coming back until you got longer shorts on!” Oh and that rose ceremony outfit. Horrendous. I agree that somebody must be playing a bad joke on him. I was waiting for the “What Not To Wear” crew to swoop in and throw him in that 360 mirror!
July 15th, 2009 at 9:23 AM
Hey Steve: I can’t believe that you didn’t mention the camel toe that Jilly had on display at the beginning of the show while she walked along the beach in her white bikini…very nice!
July 15th, 2009 at 9:39 AM
P.S. I’m new to this RS website; but in reading many comments about how funny Steve used to be in his recaps (yeah, I’m surprised and turned off by how negative Steve is about this show and especially how outspoken he is about how much he dislikes Jillian), here is another really funny summary writer: Kristen Baldwin on Entertainment Weekly: http://www.ew.com/ew/tv/tv_watch/0,,,00.html
Her write-ups are always worth a few LOLs!
July 15th, 2009 at 10:38 AM
After all the fuss Jillian made over not meeting Ed’s family, has there been any mention of why the guys are not meeting her family or seeing her hometown? Also, where is all of this information about Ed’s previous gf’s?
July 15th, 2009 at 10:41 AM
Great posts above meRS (except for GREATWHITE – ewwww). They make me laugh as much as you and your blog.
I am kinda hoping that Reid does turn up but then I feel badly for him because I’m thinking “is he really ready for all this?” or is he just caught up in the moment. I’ve liked Reid from the beginning especially when he wears his little brown/black rimmed glasses. I actually liked Juan but I think not for Jillian – I just liked him period. This will be interesting, no doubt. We all say this is a boring season (which it is) but like everybody else, I’ll be watching if they put it on TV. Kiptyn might make a boring bachelor but we kinda know him already so we’ll watch. Maybe he’ll perk up a little.
July 15th, 2009 at 10:48 AM
Hahahahhahah! Sooo funny. OK Ed’s shorts have to be from the stupid clothing place American Apparel. And I think Ed may be cute now, but guaranteed he will end up looking like his dad in 15 years. He has the genes and potential to be very fat! You’re right about Jill kissing — she just sticks her tongue out! And do you think she actually sleeps with the guys? That seems so gross to me. 3 guys in 3 nights??? YUK. That would be very confusing emotionally. And what guy would want sloppy seconds or thirds? I don’t blame Ed for ‘falling asleep.’ Also, if she is actually with one of the guys, how could they watch her hooking up with the others all the time? Guys are so jealous and possessive. Actually girls are too. The whole thing is just unnatural and wrong.
July 15th, 2009 at 10:48 AM
a few things to say- her camel toe in her bikini was very classy- the POLES that she and Kiptyn were climbing on were TELEPHONE POLES not TOTEM POLES. What’s the matter with her??? And ED- i agree totally with your analogy of his outfit. What was he thinking? I couldn’t even go out with a guy that dressed like that. What a fool. It’s like a train wreck! I’ll miss it when this season is over! What will I do? No ROCK OF LOVE and no Bachelorette. OH NO!!!!
July 15th, 2009 at 10:49 AM
As someone who moved from Dallas to Philadelphia a year ago, I can honestly say—-it’s Dallas that’s the hell hole.
July 15th, 2009 at 11:08 AM
http://store.americanapparel.net/1401.html?c=Kelly%20Green
I knew it!
July 15th, 2009 at 11:39 AM
Do you follow the blog on Jason’s website. Molly posted about their trip to the MTA… http://www.jasonsplace.com/profiles/blog/show?id=3326346%3ABlogPost%3A10279 what are your thoughts??? really curious…
July 15th, 2009 at 11:53 AM
Exactly! Let’s assume events happened exactly as portrayed on the show (i.e. Jillian had sex with Kiptyn one night and Reid the next night, and tried and failed with Ed on the third night). If I had been in Ed’s position – knowing I was third in line – I might have had some E.D. issues too. Especially if I kind of liked the girl and didn’t think of her as some sort of frat house pass-around. At least Reid was smart enough to get her in the bathtub so she could rinse off a little before hitting the sack.
And speaking of getting in line for Jillian’s vajayjay, why in the last two episodes has Kiptyn gone first, Reid second, and Ed third? Did Kip get first dibs as part of his deal for the next season of The Bachelor? In other words, did the producers/ABC let him go first with Jillian – or did Kip insist on it – so that he wouldn’t have to face the double humiliation of getting sloppy seconds or thirds and then getting rejected? Or if ABC hasn’t already signed him to on the next show, maybe he just told the producers, “look, she likes me and you know I have a good shot here. If you want me to play ball, I won’t settle for sloppy seconds or thirds. I want to get at her first. Do we have a deal?”
July 15th, 2009 at 12:09 PM
@BrookeForester
Why then is there nothing in any of the previews about J’s family meeting the guys? They ALWAYS give glimpses in the previews, I wonder why they’d leave that out entirely?
And someone suggested that Kip’s message to J said “my hometown, your hometown…” I think he just meant, being in Vancouver, not necessarily meeting her family.
July 15th, 2009 at 12:15 PM
My theory, the producers told Jillian to send Reid home (just like the Jason/Molly/Melissa love triangle) but instead of getting engaged to Ed and than dumping him for Reid, Ed doesn’t something stupid, she rethinks how easy it was with Reid and accepts his proposal hence why she was devestated when he left, she did not want to send him home but kind of had to per her “deal” with Fleiss. Reid is clueless but producers won’t let him leave the island, they say Jillian is having second thoughts and gets him to propose. Thoughts? It’s gotten so scripted its beyond ridiculous. Think about all the soap opera this season with the foot fetish buy and Juan being attaked by David, Jake flying in confronting Jill about Wes – this stuff wouldn’t happen unless they scripted it. Plus, that would make sense, Ed is part of the deal (he was paid) which explains what a bad actor he is and the fact he’d convince his parents for monetary gain? Nuts.
July 15th, 2009 at 12:15 PM
Steve, hilarious recap! Look forward to them each week…
However criticizing Jillian’s looks is not cool. She is a beautiful girl. So what if she doesn’t look like a Barbie Doll. I applaud women who don’t feel they have to get a boob job to be acceptable.
I do think it’s gross that she is sleeping with several guys in a short period of time. My husband, who doesn’t watch the show, said, “What is this a sex competition?” And regarding Ed’s implied failure to rise to the occasion, “Come on…that’s impossible!”
Ed seems insincere to me. Notice how his tone of voice and inflections don’t match the words he is saying. A body language expert would have a field day with him.
If there isn’t a good candidate from this seasons Bachelorette, why don’t they pick someone else? I know they want ratings, but at the cost of picking someone boring? Then they will have to scramble again to manufacture drama.
I said I wouldn’t watch after the Jason Molly fiasco, but here I am! This website makes it fun. Also the ew site referenced above is worth reading. The author describes the sound Jillian makes when she greets her men…”dolphin squeal,” very funny.
July 15th, 2009 at 12:31 PM
As predictable as the show is, I watch it. It cracks me up the way that they edit it. I look forward to this column so I can laugh again. Makes me smile. Although this is a boring season and I’m sure that Kiptyn will be the next bachelor, I will still watch it. Cracks me up every time. I love the drama
I wonder what slutty hoolagans will show up to get drunk and throw their panties at Kiptyn next season. Should be a good one!
July 15th, 2009 at 1:08 PM
OK … so Reid comes back.She chooses Reid. They break up. Let’s face it. Trista and Ryan will be the only couple to come out of the show and get married. But we still keep watching because the other tv shows really suck!!!
July 15th, 2009 at 1:18 PM
Are you going to critique BIG BROTHER 11? God in heaven – talk about boring…ugh I might not even continue to invest 3 days a week into this season. How much can we – reality tv fans – take????
In fact, don’t bother – its a snoozefest.
July 15th, 2009 at 1:50 PM
I finally finished watching this last night. I can only do it with Tivo as it is so painfully long. If anyone thinks that massage oil scene was sexy then they have a problem. He looked like a someone putting wax on his car or sunscreen on someone because he was told to do so. There was nothing erotic about that! Half of what Ed says to Jillian looks like he is saying it turned to a camera and not to her!
July 15th, 2009 at 2:06 PM
He’s baaaack! Really funny recap and some great comments above. The voice edit on Wes was so terrible I can’t believe anyone would buy that crap. But I’m not quite ready to go to his pity party yet. I’m sure the truth is somewhere in the middle.
ABC is so cheesy. The whole Greg Brady look alike thing was pathetic. They forgot to show the part where he finds the idol and now he can’t get it up for Jillian (sniff). Great comment “from leading man to Liberace”.
I’m glad you mentioned Jill’s incessant neediness. Any guy who doesn’t run like hell from that is a complete idiot.
I thought Jillian was supposed to be this great athlete and daredevil. Didn’t she repel off some building in LA where Euro Richie was scared shitless and she had to hold his hand through the whole thing? Now she NEEDS Kippy to be there for her on some pole three feet off the ground? Really?????
Oh and she’s so confident she has to grill every guy and pick anyone that will propose to her in the end. True love, if I ever saw it.
I’m looking forward to watching “drippy Kippy” and the skanks that are going to fight to get into his pants (that should be pretty easy). I think he’ll win the award for the most action ever on this show. It will be like watching Rock of Love and the Bachelor at the same time.
July 15th, 2009 at 2:50 PM
I think Ed looks a little like the actor on ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ that played the part of Ray’s brother.
July 15th, 2009 at 3:36 PM
Great Recap! You need to expand the reality steve merchandise line to include some of those hot shorts that Ed wore on his date this week. Can’t you just see those flying off the shelves….
July 15th, 2009 at 3:46 PM
I`m not sure,but,either Kip the drip had something in his eye while he was standing on top of that totem or else he was WINKING at Jillian! Did anyone else see that? Who winks nowadays?
July 15th, 2009 at 4:21 PM
I agree that what we’re shown of Jillian’s dates is a lot of conversation about how the guys feel about Jillian. That edit does make her look needy, but those dates are edited just as the rest of the show is. The conflict the editors create wouldn’t be enhanced if we were shown discussions of movies and former college days and favorite sports teams. The producers know that viewers watch and form opinions about who is best for her, so the drama is elevated through slicing up the dates to focus only on the conversations that are ABOUT dating. Then we can all sit back and judge one guy to be a commitment-phobe or another to be romantic and ready to get married.
I don’t know Jillian. Maybe she is needy, but I don’t think Jillian is as needy as the edit is making her appear, and I fully believe that she is encouraged to continue to ask these men how they feel about her, how comfortable they are getting engaged quickly, how willing they are to sacrifice, etc.
July 15th, 2009 at 6:11 PM
I hope Reid comes back and proposes to Jillian. Then they go walking off into the sunset and live happily ever after!
July 15th, 2009 at 6:28 PM
I watch this show now as a complete and total soap opera. It’s so scripted and planned out….people paid as actors to do certain things. The fantasy suite with Jillian & Ed was just more confirmation. How absurd that they’d stay in the room filming…it was ridiculous! Totally fake…a total soap opera.
July 15th, 2009 at 6:45 PM
1.) Ed isn’t packing anything:
ok if ppl noticed jill’s camel toe, they had to have noticed Ed was not packing much in his tighty greenies.
he probably didn’t want to have sex bc even erect there wouldn’t be much there. in which case, jill should run far far away bc nothing makes up for that.
2.) Drippy Kippy
as for kip the drip or drippy kippy, kippy drippy how do we even know he will be the next bach (i believe it) but does RS have a source?
3.) Jill’s Fig:
finally on jill’s figure, why don’t you like it steve? she is as slim as can be but true, doesn’t have a large bust or hips (deanna is more feminine). i’m just curious since my mom (and seems like most female posters here) is always about what a fab figure jill has. do men see this differently?
July 15th, 2009 at 7:03 PM
Just saying—it’s possible that everything Wes said is true AND Wes got paid to say it and live it! He could be one of the two bachelors who got paid for guaranteed final four. If ABC doesn’t go after with with a lawsuit, then we’ll know Steve was set up. Steve, you’re too good of a guy for that. But after what you pulled off in January/February, ABC producers put on their old thinking caps for a little payback.
Just saying it’s possible.
Oh yeah, very funny recap!
July 15th, 2009 at 7:22 PM
Sure maybe ABC paid Wes to play Steve (though I strongly doubt it), but you can’t say Steve got played if ABC doesn’t sue Wes. I doubt ABC would ever actually sue anyone for telling the show’s secrets. Think about it. Most of these people don’t have the $5,000,000 so they’re judgment-proof anyway. And ABC wouldn’t be able to stop the person from spilling everything even more during depositions, which would be a public record. If someone was angry enough about their edit or how ABC treated them, they would just go for it and basically dare ABC to come after them.
July 15th, 2009 at 7:32 PM
Steve I love your recaps. These are just some things I have noticed…..
Kip has been saying, “I’ve never had my heart broken” so that Jill can break it so than you will feel bad for him and he can tell you for at leaset 2-3 episode of his season that he now knows what it feels like to have his heart broken then then rest of his show he will “reflect” on how hard it is to break these women hearts because he has been there with Jill.
This is bad writing at it’s worst!
Reid was casted because he looks a little like Matthew Perry and Jill looks (if you are drunk and little far sighted) like Courtney Cox. Remember when Chandler and Monica hooked up? If you were like me you were like HUH?!? They are not a good match at all, Chandler is a little naritoc (ABC REALLY WANTS US TO UNDERSTAND REID IS) and Monica is everyones pal, has worked hard in her career and was passed up by a single father for another women (whatever Tom Seleck’s charecter name was….oh yeah Richard) Well, that’s how I see it, this season is a rehashing of the last season of Friends.
My last question is to every one here who has been sunburned…When you are sunburned do you want some one rubbing you? WITH OIL? I THINK NOT! Ed storyline goes in the trash on that merit alone.
July 15th, 2009 at 8:20 PM
Finally a post that makes sense. I believe that Jillian had to send Reid home that is why she was so upset. Reid seemed more pensive like he was trying to comprehend what just happened. Maybe Jillian said something to make him think the Fat Lady had not sung yet on their relationship. All I know is that Jillian and Reid seem to have an amazing connection, which she does not have with either the other two. I cannot believe she and Reid have been faking all that chemistry and they just are way too cute together. Ed is a total dork and Kiptyn is boring.
So this is just to me a variation of Jason/Melissa/Molly — and boy it better be because if not I am going to be really upset.
Gooooooooooooooo Reid!!!!
July 15th, 2009 at 10:10 PM
Did Ed’s mom really call Jillian “Joann”? Or did I misinterpret something I read on ihategreenbeans.com (very funny recap, by the way).
Also, would anyone else have enjoyed it if Ed’s parents had capped off their appearance by yelling “DA BEARS!” while running into the surf? Just a thought.
July 15th, 2009 at 10:58 PM
Loved your recap. Ed gets creepier every show. My roommate thinks there is something mentally wrong with him–and she is from Chicago! Kiptyn is a BORE! At least Reid has a little personality. I like him. I want him “to win” but it is too bad the prize is Jillian. Can’t stand how she is always harrassing them about their love for her. Of course, Jason did the same thing to her and when she admitted feelings he dumped her.
I listened to the Wes video and agree he got a raw deal. I think it is funny that people on this site think editing what you say can’t be done. Geez!
Can’t stand Molly and Jason. He is the absolute worst bachelor ever. (At least Kiptyn could challenge him for that position). Don’t know why anyone would want to listen to his take on love. Let’s see, he supposedly was in love with three different women in a year. Dork!
I have no interest in the MTA show and most likely will not watch. I will read your blog, thought. Love the humor.
July 15th, 2009 at 11:52 PM
Steve, I read your comments about Jillian and Ed’s fantasy suite experience and found them and others completely rude and insulting. I know that two wrongs don’t make a right, but oh well! I saw you on the long, drawn out, arrogant clips with your ‘insider info’ last season and I am fairly certain that you don’t have enough worldly experience to comment on having sex with women. You feel the need to constantly rip into Jillian’s appearance; have you looked in the mirror? I doubt the the chicks are beating down your door!
Really, if the show sickens you so much, don’t watch it – don’t report on it!
P.S. We buy our milk in cartons and plastic jugs up here in Canada.
July 15th, 2009 at 11:59 PM
@Gidget
hahahahaahaahaahahaaahahahaaahah!!!
July 16th, 2009 at 8:01 AM
JLB World – I hope you’re right… I don’t know how they did it, or might have done it, or did do it…. but if it’s scripted, I hope Reid comes back. It’s hard to see why she’d send him home. No reasonable girl DEMANDS so much from a guy so fast. I love the way he admits it’s rushed. And why have we never seen so much footage inside the fantasy suite until ED. He does creep me out. He’s here, he’s gone, he’s back, he’s handsome, then he wears the stupdest clothes on a date, then he wears even stupider clothes to the rose ceremony. If this isn’t scripted, then he’s BEGGING to get sent home. How could she not see this!
July 16th, 2009 at 8:19 AM
I’ve come to love this site RS, thanks for all you do! Even if I’m not always sure what to believe and when to believe it, you really give us a lot to consider when it comes to possibilities for this show. Not only that, but the other replies also add more to the imagination so I look forward to reading both the recap and responses every week.
July 16th, 2009 at 9:41 AM
I love the comments on Ed’s shorts, but at the end of the show he said that he wore them as a joke. To get back to before he left, he was a little off the radar and when he came back he just looked uncomfortable. His brother lives in Spain so I think that was a motivation for him when producers asked him to leave and come back when Jillian was in Spain. He gets a free trip to visit his brother and his parents get a free trip to Hawaii, why not! I think the secret confession will be Reid saying he loves her. I think they will end the finale by her saying she needs more time and they will have her announce who she picks on the After show. I have a feeling it’s Reid though. I think it has been him the entire time but they need to make this season interesting somehow.
July 16th, 2009 at 9:43 AM
I meant to say his cousin lives in Spain not his brother…he is an only child!
July 16th, 2009 at 9:50 AM
@cvendel – “finally on jill’s figure, why don’t you like it steve? she is as slim as can be but true, doesn’t have a large bust or hips (deanna is more feminine). i’m just curious since my mom (and seems like most female posters here) is always about what a fab figure jill has. do men see this differently?”
- not speaking for Steve but if you’re into 12 year old boys with a laugh like a hyena and a beak from hell then sure, you might find Jillian hot. Listen, you can respect the fact she represents the ‘everywoman’ that isn’t Hollywood plastic but don’t mistake that with a fabulous figure.
@xyz23 – “Really, if the show sickens you so much, don’t watch it – don’t report on it!”
- conversely, if this site sickens you so much, don’t read it.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:38 AM
I used to love Ed, but since he’s come back, he’s totally creeping me out. Do you notice that he barely looks Jillian in the eye when he’s talking to her? Very creepy individual. Reid is the man! He knows exactly where he went wrong, and I think he’ll be back and he and Jill will be together (fingers crossed, lol).
Thanks Steve..you’re awesome!
July 16th, 2009 at 12:12 PM
I liked Ed, up until he left the show for ‘work’..ahem – whatev! Now he gives me the heebie-jeebies. If he does have a gf or gf’s in Chicago it HAS to come into the light soon right?? My gut says that’s true.. that he does/did have a gf during part/all of the taping. Reid in my opinion, would be her best choice. Finally someone who had genuinely shy moments regarding an ultra fast-paced and ‘created’ scenario. I do like Jillian tho, maybe if she had implants RS would be a bigger fan too lol! ;o)
July 16th, 2009 at 1:36 PM
So I got hooked on the Bachelorette a few episodes ago because I live in Vancouver and thought it might be interesting to see if this girl becomes lucky in love or just enjoys the ride of the publicity it is producing for her. This is in fact the first reality TV show I have ever invested any time in and maybe won’t be my last but certainly my most enlightening.
First of all there are literally HUNDREDS of beautiful single guys in this city but am I to assume Jillian has run through them all because she had to have 30 guys imported from various states in the US?
Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against Americans but there is a little thing called IMMIGRATION LAW.
A Canadian citizen can’t just pick up and live in the US just because she wants to attach her miserable empty life to someone and live happily ever after. Or wait a second how did she put it ‘put her life in someone else’s hands for a while’. Give me a break even ABC Television doesn’t have the power to veto IMMIGRATION.
You can by Law visit for 6 months but you are unable to work and those visits are given a time limit over a period of years. Even if they do get married citizenship is not instant and neither is a work permit/VISA. Anyone who has passed through an immigration checkpoint at anytime in their lives knows this.
So is the plan to go there and sit in the house all day playing house? Anxiously awaiting this ‘Love of her Life’ to make a life for her? WTF?
Love is hard enough to find and nurture, make last and grow, why would you even consider this kind of imposition to it in the beginning of any relationship?
I realize there is all but an ounce of truth to the entire situation but it could have at least started out with some more realistic circumstances and maybe someone who is just a little bit more confident in who they are and what they really want. But its not entertaining to see the truth about how hard it actually is to find love today, I guess.
Kudos to you for the Wes interview, he’s an amazing guy and I’m so glad you gave him a chance. I would gladly welcome a guy like that in my life. He’s real, genuine, honest and someone who is looking for something that is very realistic. I’m sorry he was perceived the way he was, hopefully thanks to you people realize what a fiasco this entire thing is.
I worked as an editor for a while and had to stop. Although it wasn’t in any Reality TV form it was just as deceiving.
I look forward to your final recaps and of course running into Jillian here in Vancouver on the street as I have in the past and wondering what it was that drove this woman to letting the entire world laugh at her.
July 16th, 2009 at 3:07 PM
I live in California, and I know several people who came here from other countries but married people here in the states and didn’t have a problem with immigration. It doesn’t make you an instant citizen but you can stay here and work, etc. Maybe Canada is different?
July 16th, 2009 at 4:14 PM
@ armj
Ed must have a really sick SoH if he wore those shorts as a joke! I`m almost sure that in the highlights shown for TFR week he was wearing them again,what a treat for the eyes! BTW Did he mention if the pimp suit he wore for the rose ceremony was a joke too?
July 16th, 2009 at 5:17 PM
ed is so girly…the way he crosses his legs…and just his body language in general. and don’t get me started on his short shorts.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:58 PM
rebecca – yes! i thought ed (ed=erectile dysfunction) was really feminine, the way he walks and crosses his legs. i guess he doesn’t embarass easily.
July 16th, 2009 at 6:45 PM
@Teresa
Its a lot more complicated and time consuming since 911. Sure you can go to the US if you are a Canadian Citizen and live for 6 months at a time but you are not able to do anything while you are there without a visa/green card/work permit.
This includes vacationing in other countries or returning to your own and coming back again too frequently.
Canadian’s are not eligible for a visa unless an American cannot be found to fill the job that is up for grabs.
The same goes for the reverse.
When a marriage does occur it can take years to get a work permit and landed immigrant status. There is A LOT of paperwork involved and often you need to get a lawyer. Costly, time consuming and very hard on a relationship
July 16th, 2009 at 9:51 PM
Steve, you always make me laugh when I read your column. Your comments are just hilarious and leave me absolutely laughing so hard it brings tears to my ears. I thought the bedroom scene between Jillian and Ed was very funny and very scripted. I think Ed is a player and I wonder how much money he was paid to leave and then come back. At least his parents received a free trip to the island. I truly believe this has been the most boring season since Meredith. Geez, come on ABC find someone who is more interesting. Of course, since the Jason/Melissa/Molly fiasco, I haven’t really paid been glued to the TV on Monday nights and usually just DVR the show, read your column and then fast forward to the scenes you talk about. I have a hard time believing that they have as big of an audience as they did last season. As they say in the south, “ABC kind of busted their britches” after Jason dumped Melissa on national television. Funny that you said, we are going to be subjected to Jason & Molly on the “Men Tell All” show. Gag me, I do not plan to watch it. After the hachet job they did on Wes, I do not want to hear ABC spin it. Since Wes isn’t going to be there to defend himself, you know it isn’t going to be pretty!
July 17th, 2009 at 8:31 AM
Is anyone else chomping at the bit to hear what Steve’s backstory is on the MTA taping that he mentioned he would update sometime this week? Hope to hear about it soon!!!
July 17th, 2009 at 8:35 AM
As an African American female who likes, well use to like this show it would be nice to see a black couple. This tired mix of characters this year just makes that yearning in me grow even more. Are we not ready to see people other than the Jason/Jillian’s of the world “find” love? And please don’t believe that all 20 something black women would be like the Flavor of Love or I love New York.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:37 AM
I agree completely with Tam – it seems like every season my sis and I comment about the woeful lack of diversity.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:47 AM
What is insanity? Doing the same thing the same way hoping for different results. Maybe others here can comment also, would you not watch an Asian/Hispanic/Black bachelor? I know, because I was raised seeing the tall, dark (not black but “olive toned”) and handsome prince picking his fair maiden and living happy for evermore, but how many fairy tale endings has this show produced?
July 17th, 2009 at 11:50 AM
dflinn -good point about immigration. It also brings up another point – that it’s very difficult to have a dating relationship with someone who doesn’t live within a short drive. The show might actually result in some pairings that work if they did “local” shows, where all the contestants were fairly close geographically, so that the relationship can continue without the need for one person to move across the country.
Tam – I agree about the diversity. Most seasons have one or two token non-white contestants who are eliminated early. We’re such a diverse country, with so many backgrounds, and mixed-race and multi-ethnic individuals. Most people I know don’t fit into only one category as far as race/nationality/culture. I think the show would be more interesting if there was more diversity.
Combining these points, the show seems to be geared toward matching the backgrounds of people, and not the lives. For example – a location like Chicago – have the B/B’ette from Chicago, choose among contestants who live in the same city, or maybe close enough for a relationship,who might have similar interests, but diverse backgrounds. It’s easier to “fall in love” with someone with whom you have some interests in common,(Cubs fans, theater lovers, art enthusiasts) even though they have a different ethnic background, than to fall in love with someone who lives across the country from you, but has the same race/nationality/religion.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:04 PM
@Tam
dflinn -good point about immigration. It also brings up another point – that it’s very difficult to have a dating relationship with someone who doesn’t live within a short drive. The show might actually result in some pairings that work if they did “local” shows, where all the contestants were fairly close geographically, so that the relationship can continue without the need for one person to move across the country.
Tam – I agree about the diversity. Most seasons have one or two token non-white contestants who are eliminated early. We’re such a diverse country, with so many backgrounds, and mixed-race and multi-ethnic individuals. Most people I know don’t fit into only one category as far as race/nationality/culture. I think the show would be more interesting if there was more diversity.
Combining these points, the show seems to be geared toward matching the backgrounds of people, and not the lives. For example – a location like Chicago – have the B/B’ette from Chicago, choose among contestants who live in the same city, or maybe close enough for a relationship,who might have similar interests, but diverse backgrounds. It’s easier to “fall in love” with someone with whom you have some interests in common,(Cubs fans, theater lovers, art enthusiasts) even though they have a different ethnic background, than to fall in love with someone who lives across the country from you, but has the same race/nationality/religion.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:32 PM
My husband is from England and actually got his citizenship on 9/11 which occurred while we were driving to the ceremony. It is easier to get citizenship if you are married first, but they go through everything…pictures, etc… also INS videotaped us being grilled by them. It was a long drawn out process and endless paperwork. It would be easier for Jillian if she was married first which we all know is not the usual outcome for this show, but who knows if she even wants to become a citizen. I wonder how Matt is hanging around here after his season after breaking up with Monkey. We at least know he has his SAG card.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:34 PM
When are you going to tell us about the MTA story?
July 17th, 2009 at 5:52 PM
Tam… It’s too bad that ABC will never have an Asian /African American/Hispanic bachelor or bachelorette.The powers that be don’t think it would work.Hell, the Real World ( for the younger generation) has a great deal of diversity. I guess as a 40 + female seeing Mary(Latina) and Byron get engaged a couple of years ago is as close as we’ll get.( they broke up in a big way!!)
July 17th, 2009 at 7:07 PM
OK entertaining recap until I got to the part where you called Philly a “hell hole”. Reid lives in an area just outside of Philly that’s beautiful. Philly people are great! It’s obvious you don’t know Philly or Philadelphians at all!!! Could list all the great things about it starting with our world class doctors, but I gotta go. I’m watching our WORLD CHAMPION PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES!!!!!!!!!!
July 17th, 2009 at 9:41 PM
wow, i gotta say…when they were showing previews for the final rose, the part that shows jillian (sitting with chris harrison) covering her face with her hand and going “oh my god” was THE fakest, phoniest-sounding, bad acting i’ve seen in awhile. the fakeness is truly pissing me off more and more…i’d honestly be fine with less of that, even though that’d mean a little less excitement.
@smithsfan- LOL at ed=erectile dysfunction
@coach10- yes i’m crazy itching for it!!! i’m hoping to DEATH that it confirms those rumors that reid comes back and gets chosen in the end, cause i wanted him to be the last man standing
July 18th, 2009 at 12:12 AM
Love your blog. Been reading for weeks now (new viewer) and am waiting for the update you promised today. Are you still sleuthing??
July 18th, 2009 at 8:12 AM
This is starting 2 shows back.
She Finally she got rid of Wes. That Snake.
Then he lied on his application which then denied me and others a spot
on the show.
Ed. Geez at least look at jillian for more than a millisecond…LOL
I am not sure she wants his last name in marriage. ugh.
but note in one of her interviews she said “I am in a happy place
now.” And what did she say about Ed last night….hmmmmm
Only the men bachelors will take the fantasy suite date cards and use
them to sleep with all the women but not Jilly.
Wes: what a loser. Even his music sucks..if it is anything. She got suckered.
Boycott his music and band……..I can’t believe how straight a face
he kept throughout.
Reid aloha, sayonnara. But as Arnold says. I’ll be back…..
i guess I was the only one who made this connection.
Ed. AKA Magnum PI.
Ed what are you still in the 80s wearing Magnum PI shorts with long
legs. Oh Geez……hike them up a bit more……
Now all Ed needs is the red Ferrari……
Kiptyn: Aw geez please learn how to kiss. I will pay for your lessons.
I would have had a better chance.
July 18th, 2009 at 8:57 AM
Here are some pics. You vote.
I think her dad would approve……
http://photobucket.com/michael007_2009
July 18th, 2009 at 1:23 PM
RS – Why am I so addicted to your blog? I am going to echo so many others – what is up with the MTA spoiler you’ve got in your basket? Fill us in – as if you have NOTHING else to do on a Saturday afternoon than to entertain and inform us.
July 18th, 2009 at 5:31 PM
@ TheSingleBa
Ummm, no wonder you weren’t picked. What are you, late 30’s at the youngest? You exemplify all those older men who think they can hold out for a young woman with a solid career. We don’t want you or your discolored teeth, and neither would our fathers approve of someone who looks like their contemporary.
July 19th, 2009 at 9:51 AM
@ cvendel
How rude! Great example of how people interact online when they’re invisible. Michael, you look as good or better than several I’ve seen, definitely including Wes.
Steve, your blog is good for entertainment reasons, but I think you’re a little too cocky. You’re recaps are funny, when you keep it from being too insulting. I didn’t watch TB until Jason’s season and then had to watch Jillian’s also. It’s like watching a train wreck, it’s hard to turn your head once you see it. But I have to say it has been very entertaining.
July 19th, 2009 at 9:58 AM
I think you are right when you say there will be some kind of cliffhanger from the FRC to the ATFR on tuesday. When you read the description on TIVO of what happens that tuesday it says: “two spurned bachelors come back to get answers from Jillian”. We already know Reid is coming back. So she might not pick neither Ed nor Kiptyn, and tell Reid she needs to “think about it”, if indeed he proposes (or something along those lines). So maybe on tuesday we will find out about her decision. It is all speculation, of course. I could be wrong. Maybe she does accept a proposal. But that would be like the last straw in the fakeness of this show!
July 19th, 2009 at 10:53 AM
Because of all the leaks with Jason’s show, it could be likely the producers have leaked a lot of false info, which would lead to Reid coming back, Kiptyn already signed as the next B and on and on. I’d be willing to bet Wes is putting on a show now and is coming back to say “yes, I did say all those things and I meant them! I’m a country bad boy. Now y’all come see my band!” Now that would be a big “gotcha” from the producers!
July 19th, 2009 at 2:23 PM
@ dfwgirl
Thanks for calling cvendel (who must be insecure or just plain mean) on his rudeness and for pointing out that Steve can be too insulting at times.
Steve, I believe you can continue to be funny (you have a gift) without the insults. I know it is your website and you can do whatever you want, but I’ll bet your popularity will grow if you can tone it down. Thanks.
July 19th, 2009 at 2:39 PM
@TheSingleBachelor007
Cute!
Be grateful you’re not on the show. They would have reduced you to a one-dimensional stereotype of some kind.
July 19th, 2009 at 6:09 PM
You are not worth commenting on. Shame on such trash for a column. I am out of here.
July 19th, 2009 at 6:44 PM
RS – Do you know when they will tape the ATFR episode?
July 19th, 2009 at 9:10 PM
cvendel: goes to show how this one person who watches these reality shows see and only care about the superficial. A few more things I would like to say but not appropriate here.
As for the other ladies thank you. “dfwgirl”, “petunia”, “daisy”
Trista and Ryan seemed to think I would have been a good addition but warned me about being careful what you wish for.
the more I thought about it. I think I will pass if offered the show. thanks “petunia”
I have a better chance meeting her/someone in the market…..LOL
cvendel: I do not have professional modeling pictures, $40,000 worth of veneers, a ferrari, mansion do not look like everyone else on the show and most definitely do not have a band……..LOL
NOTE: Did anyone else notice that everyone looked alike this season when it started.
this does not appeal to me. Jillian did and that is why I applied. Funny thing though talking to Steve about it. There were 2 weeks after it was announced she was the new one. These 30 men got the applications, videos, pictures in and did the screening interviews. We both agreed yeah right.
i was informed that I was to late and they locked/picked all the actors/cast.
goes to show again not one was there for her.
As for Steve he gives the read in between the lines blow by blow. Always makes you wonder what will happen next. Insults are good.
July 19th, 2009 at 9:22 PM
Name thoughts going into next Monday nights finale show.
How does her name sound with theirs…..
Miss Jillian Harris Swiderski nah
Miss Jillian Harris Locke aahn
Miss Jillian Harris Rosenthal not bad
Possible gatechrasher: Jake
Miss Jillian Harris Pavelka I’d stick with her last name……
then again not my decision.
July 20th, 2009 at 2:11 AM
I love your reviews! They kick start my week and I find it intesting how ABC “hates” you but they are so quick to squash any information or links you post. hmmmm could that be because you’re right 99.9% of the time!!!
July 20th, 2009 at 2:36 PM
In the TV Guide online listing for July 28, it says, “In a Season 5 review, TWO spurned bachelors confront Jillian.” So it would seem Reid has stuck around Hawaii for some sort of Bachelorette drama. And all along Jillian has said she wants someone who makes her laugh. I mean how many times has she said that? I doubt that was something scripted by ABC.
http://www.tvguide.com/tvshows/bachelorette/episodes/100447
July 20th, 2009 at 4:37 PM
I sure hope Reid comes back and proposes! That seems to be the only good fit out of all of them.
July 20th, 2009 at 4:39 PM
Okay, so my best friends son runs into Ed at the Lexington airport and gets a picture with him. Of course we make him ask him if he was picked. His exact comments was “Man, I can’t believe you watch that sh**!” Sounds like Ed doesnt think much of the show either!
July 20th, 2009 at 8:36 PM
OMG… the edits on the ‘men tell all’ is PATHETIC. Thank goodness Wes did not show up… It would have just added fuel to the fake fire.
July 20th, 2009 at 8:38 PM
WOW! They have THROWN Wes under the bus big time. This is so one-sided… will anyone else notice this?? Can’t wait to see what Jillian will say about all this.
July 20th, 2009 at 8:49 PM
Sasha tried to stand up for him. Dave did, too. What was Dave going to say about Wes’ “ex” girlfriend?
July 20th, 2009 at 8:50 PM
UGH! Like he would be THAT stupid to say those comments like they made it look he did!!!!
July 20th, 2009 at 8:57 PM
How sweet is Michael Stag!
July 20th, 2009 at 10:02 PM
Can’t wait to watch the repeat west coast feed. And read RS’s recap tomorrow.
July 21st, 2009 at 1:35 AM
Really (and predictably) threw Wes under the bus…would have loved to hear what (more) Sasha had to say. That dude in the bluish shirt I don’t even remember and the pizza boy beside him couldn’t shut up. Funny to see Harrison get so angry and defensive. All in all, a waste of time.
July 21st, 2009 at 7:12 AM
The MTA was so staged it was pathetic. Every member in the audience looked like a paid “plant” to make certain reactions and to say certain things at the particular time. I love the “Reid has a prior engagement” and then they show him looking at a ring at the end. Yeah CH, that really helps your credibility, not that I think you have much at this point. I also found Jillian’s comments about Wes to be manipulated as well. A few weeks ago I believe she was saying how misunderstood Wes was, that he wasn’t as bad as he was portrayed, etc. Then last night she through him under the bus not once, but twice. I can’t wait to hear the RS take!
July 21st, 2009 at 8:14 AM
This just confirmed it for me. We’ve all been had. Wes is one of the two bachelors who was paid to be on the show, play a role, and laugh all the way to the bank. Hope they paid him well. Every single guy who was there when Wes said the things he said knows what he said before & after what the producers chose to show us (except for the limo shots).
ABC’s producers are getting bolder with their attempts to keep the ratings up. Bringing back two dumpees to confront Jillian is just another stunt. Anything for ratings. All of it for ratings. No wonder Jillian doesn’t pick anyone (my prediction). Absolutely no reason to.
July 21st, 2009 at 8:20 AM
I agree, the MTA was boring, and terribly staged. It was painful to watch. How convenient that they packed the house with nothing but Wes haters. How pathetic did CH look when he couldn’t wait to jump on that bandwagon. Wes definitely got a raw deal, if he was a plant and paid to do it, well for his sake, I hope he got paid really well for it, because unfortunately there are still alot of people out there who believes this show and believes whatever they show and he’s going to have some serious backlash for quite some time. And why did they have to have Jason and Molly on there? Who gives a crap about them, move on! There is no way they will end up married. I give them a year and it will be Splitsville. And the last clip showing Reid with the ring…I am taking it at face value, it could mean alot of different things, I bet it won’t end up like everyone thinks it will! I bet in the end, she doesn’t end up with anyone.
July 21st, 2009 at 8:29 AM
@RescueDog
I understand what you’re saying. But, if you were the one who received a letter from ABC’s lawyers threatening a lawsuit, you might feel differently. At minimum, you’d have to hire your own attorney and respond to the suit, which ABC’s lawyers could drag on indefinitely and cost you tens of thousands of dollars, possibly hundreds of thousands, and put you into debt. Then, once you were sufficiently in debt and financially ruined, ABC could drop the lawsuit. They would have made their point, you’d be financially ruined (not to the tune of $5 million) and no secrets would have come out in court.
I’m sure all of this is subtly explained to the “contestants” when they sign up. It’s how the game is played.
I just looked at a couple of points in making drawing my conclusion. First, Wes does these interviews with no repercussion so far. Secondly, read the ew.com summaries of the show. ABC gives ew.com unaired footage of the show for their website & this is where Chris does is blog. In exchange, ew isn’t going to write anything unfavorable for ABC about the show. So, my guess is ABC oks all rumors, comments, criticisms. Any criticisms or cynical remarks are planted all for the sake of ratings buzz.
That’s my story & I’m sticking to it!
July 21st, 2009 at 11:21 AM
Where are you Steve?
I think you have lost interest in your website. And judging by the few number of posts so have a lot of others.