-Woops. Didn’t see that one coming. Yes, I said it’d either be Ed or no one since I was 100% sure it wasn’t Kiptyn and 99% sure it wasn’t Reid. But that ending did take me by surprise since, well, there was no surprise at all. We all knew Reid was coming back, and if the guy was going to take time to come back, you’d figure it’d be to propose, and he did. But as Chris Harrison so eloquently stated when Jillian needed time to think about Reid, “If Ed was the man you woke up this morning knowing you were going to pick, then that’s your answer.” Like anyone thought for a second she was going to take him back. Anyway, more on that later. Let’s get to the “EXTRA” piece that aired last night. If you didn’t see it, here it is:
Uhhh, woops. Couple things to note about this interview. It took about fifteen minutes total and I did most of the talking. I know how “EXTRA” works where they cram about 100 entertainment stories into a 30 minute show, so I knew my face time wouldn’t be long. And I’m not complaining about the editing at all, just know I obviously had a lot more stuff to say. And really Mario? I follow the show “24/7”? Ha ha. Not quite. I do have a life outside of this show, despite what some of you may think. I did repeat that it was either going to be Ed or no one and I was sure it wasn’t Kiptyn and 99% sure it wasn’t Reid. But of course they ran the “There was not an engagement I can almost guarantee that” and “If I had to guess, I’d say right now she’s single” quotes. Oops. 0-for-2. See, I told you I didn’t know the ending this season. The only thing I knew was that it wasn’t Kiptyn or Reid. But that didn’t necessarily mean it was Ed. With the way they promoted the finale, and the way Jillian had been talking, it just didn’t seem like she was with anyone. But hey, give ABC credit. They coached her well not reveal her hand and she didn’t.
-A couple thoughts from the show since I never do a full recap for the finale. We all saw it. No need to talk about parent interaction when all anyone really cares about is the final result. But here are some quick thoughts of stuff that went on early in the episode:
-I loved Ed telling Jillian’s parents he could not stop thinking of her and he just had to come back to see her. Really? Ummm, not what I heard. Look, I’m not gonna get into the whole girlfriend thing back home regarding Ed. Yet. Let a couple days pass, lets see where her head is at, but I will say this again. If any of you think that what you saw last night was real, you’ve got another thing coming. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I mean, the guy that was one of the five added guys on the first night, who gets to leave mid-show to attend “business matters”, comes back and is the final one she picks? Really? Uh, huh. I believe it. Three months I give Jillian and Ed. Tops. Not a chance this thing lasts. Especially when she’s looking at a handle now of Jillian Swiderski. Lovely.
-When Ed was talking to Jillian’s dad, I sat there in amazement. Her dad told both guys for that matter, that he’d approve of them asking for his daughters hand in marriage. Look, even if Jillians dad spent all 24 hours of the day with Ed, even though he didn’t, lets just say he did for the sake of argument. I’m sorry, no father knows after 24 hours whether or not some guy is the one for his daughter. Not a chance in hell. I say this every season, which is why the show is a joke. You need a little more to go off of than a couple outdoor patio conversations. Mr. Harris, you might like Ed. Hell, you might love the guy and he blew you away. You might even like him better than Kiptyn. But don’t say after one day you give the guy your blessing to marry your daughter. Total BS. You know nothing about the guy other than the lines he’s feeding you. Totally ridiculous.
-At least Kiptyn showed up to meet the parents in something presentable. Like an awful light blue checkered shirt that looked like a tablecloth for an outside picnic they were gonna have. Nice duds. I thought I saw that shirt at Mervyn’s on the clearance rack for about $5.99. I’ve really never disliked Kiptyn. I mean, there really isn’t much to dislike about the guy. Seems nice, good looking guy, has an 18 pack abs, and does children’s charity work. I just thought he didn’t show much personality on the show. Didn’t really feel like I knew anything about him and he’s been on my TV every Monday night since May 18th. And apparently Jillian saw the same thing since she likes dudes who can’t get it up in the bedroom, fart at rose ceremonies, thought enough of her to take off in the middle of the show to go play around with his woman in Chicago, only to come back and say how much he couldn’t stop thinking of her. Good pick. Be sure to tell me where Mr. & Mrs. Ed Swiderski are registered so I can get you something for the wedding.
-Of course, what a episode wouldn’t be complete without Ed in Hawaii wearing his European swim trunks. I honestly think he’s just wearing those things as a joke to draw attention to himself. Seriously. No self respecting guy would be caught dead with those things on. Then again, this is Ed we’re dealing with. It is going to be a rollicking good time when the truth comes out about this guy. All in good time, my friends. All in good time. And any help from his lady friend in Chick-ag-o would be nice. I think we might even be able to categorize Ed in the same breath as a Jason Mesnick. Easily manipulated. I just can’t tell you how curious I find it that I reported at the beginning of the season two guys were offered money to come on the show but turned it down. Then we see a twist where five extra guys are added on the first night (two of them making the final three), and one of them being the final one, who left mid-season to attend to “business matters”. All very bizarre to me. Hey, I don’t put anything past this show.
-I love Reid going to the “You have no idea how many strings I had to pull to get back out here” card. Sure you did, Reid. Dude, you got eliminated in Hawaii. You honestly think that we believe you flew all the way back to Philly, had a change of heart, and had them fly you all the way back to Hawaii? How about you went back to your hotel room, stayed there an extra day, and once the storyline was concocted that you’d come back the day of the final rose ceremony to propose to Jillian, that’s when you decided to go along with everything. Sounds more like it. I understand a lot of you, once again, are falling into the trap of believing that what Reid did took a lot of guts, was so romantic, and you feel heart broken for him right now. Well, then you don’t know this show too well. A lot of you, in fact probably most of you, believed Reid was so in love with Jillian that he had to come back and do that in his outfit best suited for wearing to a WNBA game. I’m here to tell you otherwise. Reid came back and did that because Reid was told to come back to do that. He didn’t do that on his own. No guy would go back to a girl who just dumped him and propose marriage, I’m sorry. Sure, he can go back and tell her, “I think you made a mistake. I really want you to re-think this. I think we’re right for each other. Give me a second chance.” But really? A proposal? Dude, she just dumped you for Euro Richie and boring Kiptyn. Once again, there is a storyline, and certain guys follow these storylines because they feel they’re supposed to. I don’t believe for a second that anything Reid said last night was genuine, and I’m sure 99% of the hopeless romantics who were crying last night disagree with that take. And that’s perfectly fine. Just know what you saw last night wasn’t real.
-So where does that leave us for tonight? Well, Kiptyn and Reid come back to confront Jillian, and we get an interview with Melissa updating us on her wonderful life since the show ended. Then more puke inducing material with Ed and Jillian together telling us how much they are trying to convince themselves they’re in love with each other. Do I think there’s gonna be some sort of change of heart tonight, or maybe that they’re not engaged anymore? I don’t think so. As far as I know after watching last night’s show, these two are together. Right now. Can’t say they will be in a few months. I just can’t imagine if you’re Jillian, when you hear the stories that you’re going to hear about the guy, that you will immediately turn a deaf ear to everything. This stuff will end up grating on her and ultimately end their relationship in my opinion. Yeah, it’s that bad. But hey, until then, make the rounds on the talk show circuit and tell everyone how madly in love you are with Ed’s bowl haircut. This is a television show, first and foremost. They can call it “reality” television all they want, but that pretty much means “scripted.” This show has produced one marriage in 17 seasons. Why would I put any stock into these two walking down the aisle, especially with as many stories floating around there about this season that there’s already been. Jillian and Ed fans, I wouldn’t get your hopes up. Seriously. I don’t really think I’m being Nostradamus here when I say these two aren’t gonna last. Sorry to burst your love bubble.
-So I’ll be back tomorrow with a few thoughts on the ATFR show and to wrap up this whole season. Maybe I’ll have some new info on a possible interview coming up (no, not with Wes). Could be someone from this season, or it could be someone from seasons past. I definitely feel it’s gonna happen but don’t want to let it out of the bag just yet. Plus, check back tomorrow for a really funny video concerning next seasons “Bachelor”. I think you’ll like this one. I sure did. Made me realize how hopeless this show can be. Ha ha.
The merchandise store is down to its last legs in terms of our first shipment orders being sold out. Depending on sales, we could be done by this weekend, so get it while you can. I know we still have at least one of everything in stock, just not sure on the sizes for each one. So check that out while you can, still $3 off everything in the store. I’m like Crazy Eddie right now getting rid of this stuff. Also, you can join me on Facebook or Twitter by going down the right hand column to “My Stuff” and clicking there. As always any questions, comments, emails, praises, criticisms, or your thoughts on the finale, feel free to email me at email@example.com. Be back tomorrow.