The Bachelorette 5 - Jillian

The Bachelorette Finale Recap – 7/27/09

-Woops. Didn’t see that one coming. Yes, I said it’d either be Ed or no one since I was 100% sure it wasn’t Kiptyn and 99% sure it wasn’t Reid. But that ending did take me by surprise since, well, there was no surprise at all. We all knew Reid was coming back, and if the guy was going to take time to come back, you’d figure it’d be to propose, and he did. But as Chris Harrison so eloquently stated when Jillian needed time to think about Reid, “If Ed was the man you woke up this morning knowing you were going to pick, then that’s your answer.” Like anyone thought for a second she was going to take him back. Anyway, more on that later. Let’s get to the “EXTRA” piece that aired last night. If you didn’t see it, here it is:

Uhhh, woops. Couple things to note about this interview. It took about fifteen minutes total and I did most of the talking. I know how “EXTRA” works where they cram about 100 entertainment stories into a 30 minute show, so I knew my face time wouldn’t be long. And I’m not complaining about the editing at all, just know I obviously had a lot more stuff to say. And really Mario? I follow the show “24/7”? Ha ha. Not quite. I do have a life outside of this show, despite what some of you may think. I did repeat that it was either going to be Ed or no one and I was sure it wasn’t Kiptyn and 99% sure it wasn’t Reid. But of course they ran the “There was not an engagement I can almost guarantee that” and “If I had to guess, I’d say right now she’s single” quotes. Oops. 0-for-2. See, I told you I didn’t know the ending this season. The only thing I knew was that it wasn’t Kiptyn or Reid. But that didn’t necessarily mean it was Ed. With the way they promoted the finale, and the way Jillian had been talking, it just didn’t seem like she was with anyone. But hey, give ABC credit. They coached her well not reveal her hand and she didn’t.

-A couple thoughts from the show since I never do a full recap for the finale. We all saw it. No need to talk about parent interaction when all anyone really cares about is the final result. But here are some quick thoughts of stuff that went on early in the episode:

-I loved Ed telling Jillian’s parents he could not stop thinking of her and he just had to come back to see her. Really? Ummm, not what I heard. Look, I’m not gonna get into the whole girlfriend thing back home regarding Ed. Yet. Let a couple days pass, lets see where her head is at, but I will say this again. If any of you think that what you saw last night was real, you’ve got another thing coming. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I mean, the guy that was one of the five added guys on the first night, who gets to leave mid-show to attend “business matters”, comes back and is the final one she picks? Really? Uh, huh. I believe it. Three months I give Jillian and Ed. Tops. Not a chance this thing lasts. Especially when she’s looking at a handle now of Jillian Swiderski. Lovely.

-When Ed was talking to Jillian’s dad, I sat there in amazement. Her dad told both guys for that matter, that he’d approve of them asking for his daughters hand in marriage. Look, even if Jillians dad spent all 24 hours of the day with Ed, even though he didn’t, lets just say he did for the sake of argument. I’m sorry, no father knows after 24 hours whether or not some guy is the one for his daughter. Not a chance in hell. I say this every season, which is why the show is a joke. You need a little more to go off of than a couple outdoor patio conversations. Mr. Harris, you might like Ed. Hell, you might love the guy and he blew you away. You might even like him better than Kiptyn. But don’t say after one day you give the guy your blessing to marry your daughter. Total BS. You know nothing about the guy other than the lines he’s feeding you. Totally ridiculous.

-At least Kiptyn showed up to meet the parents in something presentable. Like an awful light blue checkered shirt that looked like a tablecloth for an outside picnic they were gonna have. Nice duds. I thought I saw that shirt at Mervyn’s on the clearance rack for about $5.99. I’ve really never disliked Kiptyn. I mean, there really isn’t much to dislike about the guy. Seems nice, good looking guy, has an 18 pack abs, and does children’s charity work. I just thought he didn’t show much personality on the show. Didn’t really feel like I knew anything about him and he’s been on my TV every Monday night since May 18th. And apparently Jillian saw the same thing since she likes dudes who can’t get it up in the bedroom, fart at rose ceremonies, thought enough of her to take off in the middle of the show to go play around with his woman in Chicago, only to come back and say how much he couldn’t stop thinking of her. Good pick. Be sure to tell me where Mr. & Mrs. Ed Swiderski are registered so I can get you something for the wedding.

-Of course, what a episode wouldn’t be complete without Ed in Hawaii wearing his European swim trunks. I honestly think he’s just wearing those things as a joke to draw attention to himself. Seriously. No self respecting guy would be caught dead with those things on. Then again, this is Ed we’re dealing with. It is going to be a rollicking good time when the truth comes out about this guy. All in good time, my friends. All in good time. And any help from his lady friend in Chick-ag-o would be nice. I think we might even be able to categorize Ed in the same breath as a Jason Mesnick. Easily manipulated. I just can’t tell you how curious I find it that I reported at the beginning of the season two guys were offered money to come on the show but turned it down. Then we see a twist where five extra guys are added on the first night (two of them making the final three), and one of them being the final one, who left mid-season to attend to “business matters”. All very bizarre to me. Hey, I don’t put anything past this show.

-I love Reid going to the “You have no idea how many strings I had to pull to get back out here” card. Sure you did, Reid. Dude, you got eliminated in Hawaii. You honestly think that we believe you flew all the way back to Philly, had a change of heart, and had them fly you all the way back to Hawaii? How about you went back to your hotel room, stayed there an extra day, and once the storyline was concocted that you’d come back the day of the final rose ceremony to propose to Jillian, that’s when you decided to go along with everything. Sounds more like it. I understand a lot of you, once again, are falling into the trap of believing that what Reid did took a lot of guts, was so romantic, and you feel heart broken for him right now. Well, then you don’t know this show too well. A lot of you, in fact probably most of you, believed Reid was so in love with Jillian that he had to come back and do that in his outfit best suited for wearing to a WNBA game. I’m here to tell you otherwise. Reid came back and did that because Reid was told to come back to do that. He didn’t do that on his own. No guy would go back to a girl who just dumped him and propose marriage, I’m sorry. Sure, he can go back and tell her, “I think you made a mistake. I really want you to re-think this. I think we’re right for each other. Give me a second chance.” But really? A proposal? Dude, she just dumped you for Euro Richie and boring Kiptyn. Once again, there is a storyline, and certain guys follow these storylines because they feel they’re supposed to. I don’t believe for a second that anything Reid said last night was genuine, and I’m sure 99% of the hopeless romantics who were crying last night disagree with that take. And that’s perfectly fine. Just know what you saw last night wasn’t real.

-So where does that leave us for tonight? Well, Kiptyn and Reid come back to confront Jillian, and we get an interview with Melissa updating us on her wonderful life since the show ended. Then more puke inducing material with Ed and Jillian together telling us how much they are trying to convince themselves they’re in love with each other. Do I think there’s gonna be some sort of change of heart tonight, or maybe that they’re not engaged anymore? I don’t think so. As far as I know after watching last night’s show, these two are together. Right now. Can’t say they will be in a few months. I just can’t imagine if you’re Jillian, when you hear the stories that you’re going to hear about the guy, that you will immediately turn a deaf ear to everything. This stuff will end up grating on her and ultimately end their relationship in my opinion. Yeah, it’s that bad. But hey, until then, make the rounds on the talk show circuit and tell everyone how madly in love you are with Ed’s bowl haircut. This is a television show, first and foremost. They can call it “reality” television all they want, but that pretty much means “scripted.” This show has produced one marriage in 17 seasons. Why would I put any stock into these two walking down the aisle, especially with as many stories floating around there about this season that there’s already been. Jillian and Ed fans, I wouldn’t get your hopes up. Seriously. I don’t really think I’m being Nostradamus here when I say these two aren’t gonna last. Sorry to burst your love bubble.

-So I’ll be back tomorrow with a few thoughts on the ATFR show and to wrap up this whole season. Maybe I’ll have some new info on a possible interview coming up (no, not with Wes). Could be someone from this season, or it could be someone from seasons past. I definitely feel it’s gonna happen but don’t want to let it out of the bag just yet. Plus, check back tomorrow for a really funny video concerning next seasons “Bachelor”. I think you’ll like this one. I sure did. Made me realize how hopeless this show can be. Ha ha.

The merchandise store is down to its last legs in terms of our first shipment orders being sold out. Depending on sales, we could be done by this weekend, so get it while you can. I know we still have at least one of everything in stock, just not sure on the sizes for each one. So check that out while you can, still $3 off everything in the store. I’m like Crazy Eddie right now getting rid of this stuff. Also, you can join me on Facebook or Twitter by going down the right hand column to “My Stuff” and clicking there. As always any questions, comments, emails, praises, criticisms, or your thoughts on the finale, feel free to email me at steve@realitysteve.com. Be back tomorrow.

83 Comments

83 Comments

  1. salesgal

    July 28, 2009 at 6:51 PM

    lame, lame, lame, and about as exciting as Ed in the fantasy suite…

  2. sunny1

    July 28, 2009 at 6:53 PM

    Thanks for the recap. What I don’t understand (and you don’t elaborate on) is what is wrong with Ed for Jillian? Why are so many people saying bad things about him and what truth is there in that?

    It doesn’t make sense that he would go on a reality dating show with a girlfriend – yet you say he had one (but not definitely). If you aren’t absolutely sure, why mention it at all? You are the running the risk of ruining a man’s reputation….you have to be careful of what you say RS because after last season, people put stock in what you have to say.

    If you aren’t definite about it, why say something at all? You say that Jillian would end up dumping Ed eventually….what is so wrong with him that she would be upset? You don’t elaborate at all..

  3. salesgal

    July 28, 2009 at 6:53 PM

    did anybody else get as nauseated as I did after Jillian and Ed were shown lying down in bed; next shot of the volcano erupting, GAG ME!!!

  4. susie

    July 28, 2009 at 7:00 PM

    All I could see was that the men could get a good look at how Jillian will age since she is the younger spitting image of her mom and grandma.

  5. mja

    July 28, 2009 at 7:10 PM

    @jhpolmjm

    Loved your comment here — for some reason my brain remembers those previews as showing brown pants and brown shoes, though — I saw it so many times! But, may be remembering incorrectly. In any case, that shot was intended to be building suspense for somebody coming back as a surprise ending. So if it was Kiptyn’s legs, yes it was a bad edit!

  6. mja

    July 28, 2009 at 7:14 PM

    Teresa :Last week in the preview for the FRC they actually showed the surprise returning bachelor wearing boots. And last week they showed Reid holding a wedding band. Fake edit, much?

    Yes, I had forgotten about the boots last week! Another strange editing job. Maybe so much was edited this season that they had a hard time keeping up with it all?

  7. meeshmeesh

    July 28, 2009 at 7:17 PM

    amyb, you said, “…she could have chosen a crew member and 71% of America would have been happier with the ending!”

    THAT WAS AWESOME! I laughed out loud!

  8. mja

    July 28, 2009 at 7:17 PM

    Teresa :Very funny that Reid somehow had time to stop and get a ring from the ABC’s jewelry shop on his way to the FRC from the “airport”.

    I hadn’t thought of that… good comment! Another piece of evidence that he never left — or that those clothes were a costume, meant to imply that he just got off the plane.

  9. meeshmeesh

    July 28, 2009 at 7:20 PM

    salesgal :
    did anybody else get as nauseated as I did after Jillian and Ed were shown lying down in bed; next shot of the volcano erupting, GAG ME!!!

    I KNOW! So ridiculous!

  10. Rebecca

    July 28, 2009 at 8:01 PM

    just saw the finale, and i agree it was full of the worst acting ever. anyways, even though reid is my favorite, i think ed and jillian look good together. no offense, but, in terms of looks, reid and kiptyn are waaay too good for her

  11. DeeCee

    July 28, 2009 at 8:19 PM

    I have heard from someone who knows Reid that he actually did get as far as LA before returning to Hawaii.

  12. JessF

    July 28, 2009 at 8:32 PM

    Did you catch how many sound bites they used in the finale that were recycled from past episodes. Specifically about Jillian’s feelings for Kiptyn. There were at least 3 times that I noticed they were using her voiceovers from episodes past to make her seem more into him than she was, simply to make it shocking that she was dumping Kiptyn.

  13. Coach10

    July 28, 2009 at 8:36 PM

    So just out of curiosity I’m watching the re-run just to see how badly the Reid portion was scripted. Oh my gosh, when you sit down and pay attention to it, it’s awful! How many times does he exaggerate how much he had to go through to come back? After his proposal she says she needs to think about it and he actually asks “what’s there to think about?” Is he for real??? What kind of idiot would ask what there is to think about? Now she’s gonna go “think about it” for all of what maybe 5 minutes before the host tells her she already made up her mind? IF this were true, I highly doubt she would have decided while Reid just stood there for a couple minutes. ABC cracks me up!

  14. Coach10

    July 28, 2009 at 8:39 PM

    Annnnnnnnd I just noticed that Chris Harrison is wearing an ear-piece…someone feeding him lines possibly???

  15. jhpolmjm

    July 28, 2009 at 8:57 PM

    @Coach10
    omg you actually watched the rerun? The first go around gave me the runs! Just about the worst scripting/editing/acting I’ve ever seen! What a hoot. Kyptin was definately laughing when he got in the limo and Reid did the best clown act I’ve ever seen. He was so comical you couldn’t feel bad for him and I loved Reid. And as for Ed, they can have each other. Why oh why do I watch this?

  16. Coach10

    July 28, 2009 at 9:00 PM

    @jhpolmjm

    Oh gosh no I didn’t watch the whole thing, I only watched the end of Kiptyn’s departure to see his smile in the limo window and Reid’s disaster of a return to see how badly it was scripted!

  17. daisy

    July 28, 2009 at 9:24 PM

    salesgal, yes that was a cheesy scene with the volcano erupting! Did anyone notice that they used the same “light went out in hotel room” shot right before? Weren’t they supposed to be at his place?

    As for Reid, I thought it was funny that they had him waiting at the end of the plank for what seemed like forever. And that forehead touching went on too long…

  18. RainyNiteNTx

    July 28, 2009 at 10:05 PM

    Teresa :Very funny that Reid somehow had time to stop and get a ring from the ABC’s jewelry shop on his way to the FRC from the “airport”.

    andddddd just happened to have ABC cameras in the maroon minivan LOL

  19. JLBWorld

    July 28, 2009 at 10:18 PM

    susie :
    All I could see was that the men could get a good look at how Jillian will age since she is the younger spitting image of her mom and grandma.

    well she will look fine with Ed if he looks like his father does now.

  20. Rebecca

    July 29, 2009 at 1:41 AM

    wow, now that i think about it, the way jillian was promoting what went down in the finale in interviews was really not in line with what happened. i guess abc instructed her to give wishy-washy answers to throw us off…shocking.

  21. Carrie

    July 29, 2009 at 7:35 AM

    Did anyone notice that Ed and Jill’s dad were wearing very similar shirts? Both with the same type of vertical stripe, except Ed’s stripes were in pink and her dad’s were brown. I kept laughing how Ed was colored coordinated with the pink/red plants behind him when he was talking with her dad outside. I’m sorry, Ed’s fashion sense is hideous; he truly spent most of the season channeling Greg Brady in the 70’s/80’s.

  22. salesgal

    July 29, 2009 at 7:57 AM

    OK, last comments before I let go of this….where the heck was Ed coming from in that limo on that drive anyway…..CHICAGO????

  23. salesgal

    July 29, 2009 at 8:03 AM

    How about that limo ride with Cardboard Ed lasting like, how about…forever????? So very funny……how many times did they flip back to showing him looking out the window driving to Jillian?

  24. loveslovin

    July 29, 2009 at 9:23 AM

    Ok..first, Steve, as sarcastic, slanted, sophomoric, and skewed as your views are (which is why we read you!)you’ve never been personal. Your constant put downs of Jillian’s looks are incomprehensible to me. How is it entertaining for you to say she’s not cute (she’s cute as a kitten/puppy!). Why do you want her not to have a successful relationship..even if you hate ABC? You’re a bachelor, living with a dog, decent looking..not movie star handsome..why would you pick at these peoples looks like you do?

    The sarcasm and lack of faith in the REALITY involved in these shows is not only understandable, but a given.

    The nasty put downs aren’t worthy of YOU!

  25. loveslovin

    July 29, 2009 at 9:29 AM

    And..are you kiddin’ guys and gals? Because there are rumors..it’s true!? That’s NOT what you said when there were rumors our girl in Dallas was still seeing an old boyfriend!

  26. tvgirlwiz

    July 29, 2009 at 9:45 AM

    loveslovin: goodness, take a chill pill and stop reading steve’s blog. YOU are taking this way too personal.

  27. bachadkt

    July 29, 2009 at 9:50 AM

    @addicted2trainwrecks

    “IF” any of this is true, I don’t know; however, I did make an observation early in the season. The week Ed left, they were all in a house together. There was a shot of Jillian and some of the guys going up a flight of stairs. Ed was coming down, and Jillian couldn’t take her eyes off of him. She turned around and watched him until he turned the corner and she couldn’t see him anymore. So perhaps your theory that it was obvious how she felt about him is true…thus the whole Ed’s gone and now he’s back scenario to throw everyone off.

  28. loveslovin

    July 29, 2009 at 9:59 AM

    And..oops! One more, then I’m out until the next Bach. show..I thought The Trista and Ryan show was scripted, big time..boring, self absorbed and fake/goofy..and look at them! Our “insight” into how these people really feel, in the end, is just “ours” and has nothing to do with the real people behind the scenes! I see Jillian, who’s normally a happy go lucky type, getting really defensive because of the nasty talk “out here” in “we need a life-ville”. It’s human nature to pick at a scab, but I wish she’d just go along on her happy trip and forget what everyone else thinks! Who cares!?

    JILLIAN!!! WHO CARES!!? HAVE A HAPPY LIFE! FORGET THE “we need a lifers” and just live yours for you..and Ed, who IS really in love with you (whatever else he was doing before he met you!)..and as my momma used to say, you may date the pretty boys, but marry a Geek (and he’s a CUTE one)..he’ll be the BEST husband, and will look better as the years go by..the pretty boys will NOT. And live in Canada! It’s absolutely breathtaking..Dallas is so great? NOT! “Texarkana” is NOT a vacation spot, that’s for sure! This is coming from a former Hustonite! The jealouse people out here are NOT going to root for you. Forget them and have the “funnest” time ever!

  29. loveslovin

    July 29, 2009 at 10:04 AM

    tvgirl..it’s true..I’m all worked up, because I’ve been reading all this “stuff” (and love it or I wouldn’t be here, STEVE)..but couldn’t comment..I’m OLD and forgot my password..been wanting to comment for weeks!

    I’m over it..but I love STEVE and don’t like to see him go into personal attacks, when the reality of these reality shows is enough to go off on! Where IS the reality of reality shows?

  30. JENNIFER S.

    July 29, 2009 at 10:15 AM

    I watched the show last night and felt so bad for Reid. I mean RS – he was really broken up – wasnt he?? You make me question every single move but I really think he loved her. Dontcha think??
    God he was soooo adorable. If only I were 30 years younger – hahahaha
    GOOD SEASON RS WELL DONE!
    :)

  31. julia

    July 29, 2009 at 11:42 AM

    Great update Steve!! Question for you..how is Wes able to throw ABC under the bus so much..isnt he going to get sued?

  32. Jojojo

    July 30, 2009 at 11:16 AM

    Steve, I look for your recaps every week and also enjoy the interviews you have conducted with previous Bach/Bachette participants. The greatest story you could ever bring to this blog is a story exposing Ed for the cad that he is. You would get as much traffic/exposure as you did last year through the Jason/Melissa/Molly story. Ed may have convinced Jillian that she is the one for him; but he WILL NEVER fool those of us that know better. Run with the story if you have the chance Steve – there are so many good reasons to do it!

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