Ahhh, almost a month to the day since my last column (Actually, I wrote that sentence a week ago when I sat down to start writing this column. Now we’re about five weeks removed from the last column). It’s always tough during the holiday season. Plus, with the “Bachelor” starting up in less than a month now, plus the return of “24”, and the final season of “Lost” approaching, I need to get ready. However, this will probably be the last big update until the first “Bachelor” recap, which will be on Jan. 5th. We have A LOT to get to in today’s column including some more “Bachelor” related news, thoughts on “Survivor”, the “DWTS” outcome, “RW/RR: The Ruins”, the “Hills” season, the Tiger Woods situation, plus some other random TV and celebrity notes.
Before I get started, I wanted to give readers a heads up on an event I’m planning in 2010. With the help of some others, basically, we’re gonna have a get together in Vegas the first weekend in March after Jake’s season ends. No cameras, no red carpet stuff, no photo shoots, no sponsors, no media, no making promises I can’t keep, and no limiting it to certain people based on their status within the “Bachelor/ette” show. Anyone that has ever been on the show is invited as well as all of my readers are welcome to come. Obviously I don’t know everyone so a lot will be by word of mouth, but we’re not limiting it top Top 4, Top 8, etc. We have already got commitments from a few people (as you could probably guess who), but as the word spreads, we hope to get more. Of course, you may stay wherever you’d like, but there have been a set number of rooms blocked off at discounted rate just for this event at the Venetian hotel. People will have up to 30 days prior to that weekend to book a room at the Venetian at that reduced rate. If you are interested, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will start getting a head count. If people want to book early, I will give them the email link to the block of rooms or the group code if they want to book over the phone. Full details will come in the first column of the year on Jan. 5th, but until then, I wanted to let everyone know to start planning ahead. Once again, anyone who wants to come is invited. It should be one hell of a weekend.
Less than a month away now from the premiere of Jake’s season. Filming was completed Thanksgiving week, so unless Jake pulls a Mesnick and wants his final two brought back to pull a switcheroo on them, looks like he and his final one are living happily ever after together right now. Jake is back here in Dallas and she is, well, I don’t know where, since I don’t know who he picked. Yet. I’m sure the rumors and spoilers will start leaking out shortly. Although they did a good job last season of not letting things slip. I mean, how could they this time around? Jake is their guy. Head honcho. The Big Cheese. Numero Uno. The guy who will single handedly save this franchise. The guy who they believe in so much, and think will be their best “Bachelor” to date, they don’t even know how to pronounce his last name correctly. This was ABC’s first promo they ran for this season during the final weeks of “Dancing with the Stars”:
You’re kidding me, right? “Rose Air”? “Fasten your seat belts”? “This bachelor needs to make a connection”? Good God. Not to mention you had all this time to put together your first promo for your new season, and the voice over chick can’t even read the guy’s last name correctly? It’s Jake “PA-velka”, not “PAL-veka” you dimwits. Strong stuff, ABC. I’m sure the $8/hr intern in editing probably is looking for new work as we speak. How in the world does that slip by all the people it needs to go through to make air? Flat out embarrassing. And I love every second of it. The more this show steps in its own dog mess, the easier my job becomes. Keep it coming, ABC.
The next bit of info would’ve been a hell of a lot funnier if YouTube would’ve left the video up, but either this girl found out someone posted it and had it taken down, or ABC did. But I don’t think it was a coincidence it’s gone now. A girl rumored to be cast this season is named Jesse Sulidis. I believe she’s from Canada or something. Cute girl, nice rack, and a wannabe singer. So a video surfaced over the last couple weeks of her out one night singing karaoke with her friends. She did her best Britney impersonation singing “Womanizer.” It was hilariously awful. Dammit. I so wish someone didn’t have it removed. There was nothing bad in it, she didn’t curse, no clothes came off or anything like that, she just tried waaaaaaaaay too hard to be Britney, which made it an utter disaster. The extent of its raunchiness was her giving some guy a half hearted lap dance while she was singing. I’ve seen and felt better. Uhhhh anyway, my point being is you know there are two kinds of karaoke people: the ones who get drunk with their friends, goof around and sing “Material Girl”, and the ones who want all eyes on them hoping for a record deal. Jesse Sulidis was the latter. Nothing like trying to sing like Britney Spears. Honey, unless a synthesizer is involved, Britney’s singing blows. Your “Womanizer” chorus has been in my head for two weeks now and making my ears bleed. Thanks a lot.
This past Friday, a press release regarding the “Bachelor” hit the internet. RealityTVWorld.com summarized it for everyone, but here are the main points it wanted to get across about the upcoming season:
-It will be in HD (You have no idea how excited I am for this. Besides all the implant scars and botox injections we’ll be able to see more clearly, finally I can get a good look at all the makeup Chris Harrison wears and see what his secret is for not having aged in his nine years of hosting).
-During the first night, Jillian and Ed will be making an appearance to help Jake pass out the first impression rose, after which, they will have an announcement of their own (Hmmmm, maybe Ed is back to sexting Lindsey and Bethany. Either that or they’re gonna announce a wedding date).
-It gives the locations of some of the dates (including ones I have mentioned to you previously), and that the overnight dates are in St. Lucia. Of course, that’s if good little Christian boy Jake actually takes the overnight dates. Very curious to see how much religion will play into this season. I don’t think God is too down with bedding three women on three different nights, Mr. Jakey. Watch yourself.
-There’s a single mother this season who it appears gets the 1-on-1 date at Sea World. That’s cute. Kinda how Stephanie got her 1-on-1 with Jason at Lego Land when they brought her kid along. I’ll never forget Stephanie bum rushing her daughter and body slamming her into the sand when she saw her. Tugs at the heart strings every time. Now if any season should’ve been in HD, it had to have been Jason’s. From Stephanie’s face that stretched so far back you could practically see her skull, to Jason and Jillian’s hot tub scene, to the group date with breast plasters, man, they really missed out. Great, this season we’re getting a comedy club date and Magic Mountain among other things. Whoopee.
-Here’s another tidbit: There’s a contestant this season by the name of Ashley Elmore. Name probably doesn’t ring a bell to you, but don’t worry, reality TV runs in her family. Her sister Erin Elmore was on Season 3 of the “Apprentice” and I think I had a giant crush on her. Was always a fan of Erin that season, so I’m guessing after watching this video, it’s safe to say I will be cheering for Ashley not to marry Jake since it’s rather obvious her civic duties far exceed a show like this. In fact, I can’t even believe she’d stoop this low and actually sign her name to this crap. Oh well. Probably sensing this chick is going places and just wants her name out there a little bit more judging by this video:
I understand she’s so popular that someone’s already started a fan page at www.AshleyElmore.com. Sign me up. How can I become a member? A PhD and an MBA? And she wants to waste her time with this train wreck of a show? I guess Ashley and Erin have entertainment aspirations in the future. Whatever it is, I’ll watch. I’m a fan. Go Ashley! And by “Go!” I mean, “get booted early so I don’t have to squirm watching you pretend to like this dork”.
As many of you probably have heard, Byron and Mary recently ended their engagement. Which is sad since, well, it’s yet another marriage this show has failed to produce. Fourteen seasons now of the “Bachelor” and zero marriages. Only three couples still together: Jason and Molly (who technically weren’t the final couple the show gave us, but hey, it’s one of the few they have right now so I’ll throw them a bone and let it count), Charlie and Sarah, and Jillian and Ed. I can’t believe I’m gonna say this, but of those three, it certainly looks like Jason and Molly are the best bet to tie the knot. I’ll reserve judgment on Jillian and Ed for now. Haven’t been together long enough. Charlie and Sarah have already broken up once and just recently stated in “US Weekly” they’re in no rush to get married. Translation: They’re not getting married. Apparently neither were Byron and Mary as evidenced by their five year engagement. Little trouble committing there, Byron? You sure she’s not the one? Positive? Ok good. I’m sure she’s thrilled now. The ironic thing about Byron and Mary’s breakup is that when she was on the show, her big thing was constantly telling him, “I’m getting older. I want to be married and have kids.” Ouch. Now she’s 42, never married, no kids, AND she’s out a fiancÃ©. Brutal. Not to mention our lasting memory of Mary is of her giving Byron a quick right hook to the face when she was blitzed one night and the cops threw her in the clink. A picture to remember that night by:
She doesn’t look too drunk there, does she? Nahhhhhh, didn’t think so. Must’ve been a hell of a night. That looks like a “3 bottles of Pinot Noir” mugshot if you ask me. And lets not forget her following that night up with a DUI a year later. I’d say she has what we’d like a call a bit of a drinking problem.
Congrats to Melissa Rycroft for finally tying the knot this past Saturday down in Mexico. About a year removed from her being head over heels in love with Jason Mesnick. Ooohhhh how quickly feelings change. Funny thing is, when I was reading the story on Melissa’s wedding, it said the guest list included “former Bachelorette Jillian Harris”. Well, Jillian didn’t attend Melissa’s wedding, so why write that? Were they just saying, “Hey, look who Melissa invited”, because if that’s the case, who cares who she invited if they didn’t go? If by guest list they were insinuating that Jillian was there, then they got their information wrong. How do I know this? Well, our friend and future interview Eliza Orlins (more on her later) was in Chicago this weekend, happened to run in to Jillian and posted a picture of them on Twitter. So uhhhh yeah, Jillian didn’t attend any weddings this past Saturday, E! news online. Change your story.
And one last note, a certain website out there is claiming a Julie Schwarz from Philadelphia is also one of the bachelorettes on Jake’s season. Because she is an acquaintance of Reid’s, and she was seen at some party, someone pegged her as someone who’s on the show. She’s not. I’ve spoken with Julie who says that a magazine falsely identified her as a potential bachelorette, so people ran with it, and all the sudden the “crazies” are out there blowing up her facebook and twitter asking questions. She’s not on the show, so the mouth breathers from the message boards will have to turn their attention somewhere else now.
A lot has happened since we last spoke. Mainly that Russell Hantz has become the greatest player this game has ever seen. Either that or the final twelve players who remained were some of the worst to ever play the game. Either way, Russell is genius. CBS struck gold this season with him. He’s great TV, he’s done things no other castaway has done, and he is the sole reason why you tune in to watch every week. If he wins, it’ll be the greatest victory and best played game this show has ever seen, and if he gets booted, there’ll be a faction out there who will love to see it happen. At this point, it’s up in the air.
This game is really impossible to predict a winner since there is so much that happens on the island which we don’t get to see. We’re only seeing the editing that CBS is choosing to show us. So their storytelling is always leading you to believe what they want you to believe. If they don’t show us a conversation behind the scenes that can completely change the game where maybe two people are talking about blindsiding somebody, then we’ll never think it’s possible. So when it happens, we’re like, “Wow! A blindside!” When in reality, it’s only a blindside to the viewers and person who was blindsided because obviously conversations had to take place to set that blindside in motion. But they would never show the audience that because then we wouldn’t be shocked. Sure, they’ll show us snippets of those conversations, but we only can go off what they choose to show us, and they have a story to tell. They will show us what they want to show us. Which is what makes the show so great. I learn more from reading the booted contestants’ post-show interview every week than I do from watching the show. There is A LOT that isn’t shown in regards to strategy.
The problem with Russell is what’s happened numerous times before. After listening to and reading Monica’s exit interview (who is on the jury by the way), she basically said, “Yeah, he’s playing a great strategic game, but not necessarily the smartest social game.” And if someone on the jury is telling reporters that, if you read between the lines, she’s pretty much tipping us off to where the voting leaned toward. Essentially, Russell has made no friends along the way, doesn’t care who he pisses off, and doesn’t care who he lies to. That’s great to get you to the end, but when it’s those people that have to turn around and vote for you, most are vindictive enough if you didn’t give them a hug or ask them about their family life back home, to not write your name down. And that’s where the game becomes so interesting. If you were on the jury, who would you vote for: someone who strategically dominated the game, but made no friends and was an ass, or, someone who coasted through to the end on someone else’s coattails but you could see yourself having dinner with? Personally, I would swallow my pride and give to the person who played the best strategic game, regardless of if they lied to me or how they treated me. It’s a game. It’s nearly impossible to win it without lying somewhere down the road. Sure, Russell took that to the 10th degree this season, but his team was down 8-4 at the merge and are now up 4-2 pretty much all because of him. And Galu’s stupidity. But you get my point. It certainly wasn’t Jaison, Mick, or little blondie running the show. So in closing, do I want to see Russell win? Yes. Has Russell been the best player we’ve seen on this show? Yes. Will Russell win? I doubt it.
As for the interview with former “Survivor” contestant Eliza Orlins, here’s where it stands. With the final two episodes this week, then with me being California for the following week, looks like her and I will record it after the new year to discuss this season, plus the upcoming “Heroes vs Villains” season. And I’m still working the kinks out, but it looks like we’re gonna do a Skype video interview. I’ve already spoken with Eliza via Skype to try and record it. It worked, but when I played the video back, you could only hear my voice while looking at video of Eliza. Not that Eliza isn’t appealing on the eyes, but I didn’t know if you wanted to sit and watch an interview of Eliza staring into her camera while you listen to my voice in the background asking the questions. C’mon, I need some face time too, right? Well, maybe that’s not what you want â€“ ha ha. Anyway, I think I’ve found some software I need to download where you’ll be able to view both of us during our interview. I think. That’s what I’m working on so expect it after the new year.
“Dancing With the Stars”
I know it seems old, but I haven’t commented on the final results since it aired. Am I fine with Donnie winning? Sure. What the hell. The show has always been a popularity contest and nothing more. Look, just because Donnie won doesn’t mean he’s the best dancer. The final three were the easiest three to label in probably the shows history. Maya was the best dancer, Donnie was the most entertaining, and Kelly was most improved. So my question is, what is this shows identity (I sound like Kara DioGuardi now)? Obviously in the end, people will vote for who they like the best, regardless of the dancing, but what is the show out to prove? Maya was getting 8’s and 9’s in the early weeks before anyone else was, so, she was basically just consistent throughout. But she was in “Chicago” before. How is that really fair? I mean, they do it every season. There’s always two or three contestants who have SOME form of dance training, then about 10 that are clueless. So what do people want to watch â€“ someone who already has rhythm and is learning a different type of dance like Maya, or someone who struggles in the beginning but gets better and better every week like Kelly? For me, I’d much rather every person they cast have ZERO dance background and see who improves the most from week 1 till the end. Casting Maya, and an entertainer like Donnie just doesn’t make much sense in a show like this. Why?
Not to mention a rumor that Donnie started taking ballroom dancing classes a year ago to prepare himself for the show. Yes, I get it, Donnie is an entertainer and he didn’t want to embarrass himself once he got on the show. But, by all accounts, that rumor has a lot of validity to it which completely takes away from the title that he won. Donnie has a huge fan base to begin with, so whether or not he took classes before the show, he was still going to make the finals. Hell, the guy got three 7’s in the semifinal week and still won. Which once again proves my theory: Mormons love dialing the phone.
In addition, how many new dances did they add to the show this season? 17? Good God, I was having a hard time keeping up with all these new elements they brought to the show. Dance offs, new dances, group dances, etc. All got a little hectic for me. Yes, I understand the show is getting bigger and more popular so you gotta change it up once in a while, but that was a bit much this season. Lets go back to twelve contestants next season, eliminate some of the whack ass dances they threw in this year, and make sure everyone who is cast has never been a ballerina, or ice skater, or hip hop dancer, or had some form of dance training in their background. You can try and convince me till you’re blue in the face that ballroom is a completely different type of dance. And to an extent, I agree. But if you’ve been a dancer at some point in your life, there is much more fluidity, much more flexibility, and you’re able to pick things up much, much quicker as opposed to someone with no rhythm. It’s common sense.
Probably the best reality show of the fall season. I’ll keep saying it until someone listens to me: I hope these challenges never end. Hell, most of these contestants lives revolve around these challenges. They just collect money doing appearances and challenges, so actually going out into the “real world” and getting a job probably isn’t happening in my lifetime. Good. Then keep pumping out more seasons of this stuff. I have a few rules, or necessities, from each season here on out. This must be mandatory for every future “Challenge” season:
1. Kenny, Evan, and Johnny Bananas must be in each season. Not only because they’re the most entertaining, but in the words of the great Ric Flair, “To be the man, you gotta beat the man”. And no one seems to be able to take down these guys. So as long as they don’t lose, I say they keep bringing them back. And if they do finally lose, even more incentive to bring them back because there’ll be hell to pay.
2. Three of these four must also be on every season: Wes, Johanna, Kelly Anne, Cohutta. We all want a good love triangle. And is there a better one on television right now than Wes/Johanna/Kelly Anne with Cohutta ankle biting on them trying to squeeze in? Didn’t think so. Anytime you can get an upset Johanna threatening to take Wes’ name of the deed of their house that they bought together, that’s priceless. Throw in the fact that at any point, Wes’ roid rage is capable of killing another human being, or that Kelly Anne’s fembot breasts are quite enjoyable to look at, lets just keep these three in the loop. Imagine casting a season involving Wes and Johanna but not Kelly Anne? Think Wes stays faithful? Not a chance. How about casting Kelly Anne and Cohutta without Wes? Let’s see if horny Kelly Anne can not spread her legs for her ex. Doubt it.
3. Feel free to never cast Casey again. Yes, I understand she brings comedic value to the show for being the worst physical player we’ve ever seen, but after a while, it gets old. She brings nothing to the show other than implants, drunkenness, and the athletic ability of a 3rd grader. Stay home.
4. TJ Lavin. Enough said. I don’t know where they plucked this guy from, and I don’t care anymore. I’ve never been more mesmerized by a game show host with less talent than this pud. For some reason I find myself more amused every season with his lack of excitement, lack of knowledge, and complete disregard for any TV hosting training. Your local Channel 8 News Team is jealous of how well he can read cue cards.
5. More blacklight, behind-the-scenes, under-the-covers shots. This is a must. Look, if you’re gonna stick 30 some-odd people in a house in a foreign country, and most of them have already hooked up at some point, then we need to see it. I want to see footage of CT banging Shauvon’s big ass before getting caught. Any fellatio happening in the woods needs to be caught on camera, or at least give us the sound, a la “Joe Millionaire”. Did anybody hook up on the “Ruins” other than Evan falling asleep with Veronica one night? Step up your game, MTV. The only reason you air ANY show on your network is to show sex, fighting, teen pregnancy, or drinking. Let’s keep it going on the Challenges.
Another show I barely got to talk about this season. Was it better with Kristin than Lauren? Yes. Are Heidi and Spencer eventually going to get their own spinoff? Most definitely. Is Brody’s girlfriend Jayde getting uglier and more cross eyed by the minute? Without a doubt. I don’t really put much stock into Brody and Jayde’s relationship because it’s about as real as this show. Sorry. I don’t care if she’s a former Playmate or not. No guy with any sack whatsoever could continue to be with someone as needy and pushy as her. Do I really think Brody has a thing for Kristin again? Of course not. That’s called a cliffhanger. Wet your appetite for season 6 that ALL of them are signed on for again. I love how dim wit Audrina was saying during the season she was over the show and wasn’t sure she was gonna do season 6. Sure you weren’t honey.
Not that she isn’t already one of the most uninteresting people on the planet, but how stupid would she have been to NOT come back for season 6? Get paid 75k an episode to do what? Whine about Justin Bobby? Flirt with his friends? My God, where do I sign up? Every single person on that show should be down on their knees every morning thanking a higher power for getting paid ridiculous amounts of money to have fake conversations about fake situations with people that aren’t even their real friends. Must be nice. It’s really kinda hard to take the show seriously when it’s “star” Kristin admits she’s just playing a character on the show and is just doing what she’s told. Outstanding. Hey, since Kristin and Justin Bobby like Vegas so much, I tell you what. You’re invited the first weekend of March too. Hell, anyone who’s ever appeared on a reality show, come on out. Why limit it to just the “Bachelor/ette” people? If Wes, Kenny, Johanna, and Kelly Anne wanna come out and start some cat fights, I’m down for that as well. Ok, I’m kidding. But seriously, this is going to be a crazy Vegas weekend. You won’t want to miss it, which is why I’m telling you almost four months in advance. No excuse not to clear out your calendar. Get your ass to Vegas and have a good time.
Other Random Tidbits:
-Exactly zero of you should be surprised by the Tiger Woods stories. The funny thing is, you know how a lot of people automatically dismiss something because it was started by “US Weekly”, or the “National Enquirer”. Well, based on recent success, you might want to start re-thinking that. Those tabloids are breaking more stories and giving just as good of dirt as any other outlets. “US Weekly” was the first to report on Jamie Grubbs, first to play her voicemail, and first to post her texts. Because she got paid to do it is of no consequence. If Tiger didn’t leave a voicemail or texts, she has no credibility and gets paid nothing. They’re not throwing $150k at her because she SAYS she slept with Tiger. She has to prove it. Done and done.
-A lot of people are asking, “How could Tiger be so stupid?” How did he not think one of these girls would turn on him? Because people with money in a position of power don’t think that way. All their lives they’ve been sucked up to and never been told what to do. They don’t think it can happen to them. Tiger is child prodigy. His life was different than any other human by the age of two. This wasn’t a kid who grew up doing the things you and I did. All the sudden he’s a multi millionaire in his teens, he’s got the world by the balls, and thinks he can do what he wants. And pretty much did. What Tiger did was absolutely wrong. 100%. But it’s not like I’m surprised he did it. In fact, if he WASN’T doing it, I’d be surprised. Guys like him lead a life that 99% of America have no idea what its like to lead, so trying to figure out why he did what he did is futile. Don’t waste your time. We’ll never understand.
-People, the President of the United States cheated on his wife while in the Oval Office! You’re surprised the worlds most recognizable athlete was out chasing tail in every city he went to? Please. “But Elin is so pretty and he’s got kids.” Has nothing to do with how good looking his wife is. That’s not the point. For Tiger, it’s about the conquest. Let’s face it, he’s not sorry for what he did. He’s sorry he got caught. Why else would it take him 2 weeks to finally use the word “infidelity” in a press release? If he was sorry, he either: a) Wouldn’t have done it in the first place, or, b) Would have admitted it before 12 of his ho’s started opening their mouths.
-And as bad as Tiger is, if Elin doesn’t leave his ass, she’s just as worse. You can say what you want about saving family, standing behind your man, kids are involved, blah blah blah. Tiger will never change. If she stays, he’ll do it again. He’ll just be a little better at covering his tracks. If the public humiliation Elin has gone through isn’t enough, then it’s obvious why she’s sticking around. More money. There’s no other reason for it. Twelve mistresses? Please. If there’s twelve, that means there’s a 100. This isn’t a guy who slipped and got caught one night. This is a guy with a serious problem, who has having pre-meditated relationships with skanks in different cities, and in Rachel Uchitel’s case, was emotionally invested as well. Did you read those emails? Jesus Tiger. She’s not your soulmate.
-Anyway, the topic has been beaten to death for two weeks now, but I wanted to throw my two cents in. I’m not surprised in the least he was doing this, I’m not surprised these girls ratted him out, and I won’t be surprised if Elin stays. It’s just the way it goes sometimes when you’re dealing with the life of a professional athlete. And in his case, probably the most recognizable athlete in the world right now. I only have one question through all this mess: How come Tiger only likes white women?
-I have the first few episodes of “Jersey Shore” recorded and have seen the first. Frankly, I’ve already written twelve pages on Microsoft Word for today’s column and I really don’t feel like writing another twelve. Let me just say that show is a disaster in the most complimentary way possible. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Just know I’ll cover it more extensively in my next “Reality Roundup” column. Just too much to digest now and I’ve only seen the first episode. “The Situation”? Really? You call yourself “The Situation”? From my view, the situation seems to be that you’re a giant douchenozzle.
-Did anybody catch Carrie Underwood’s Christmas Special? Ummmm, I guess I should admit I did. Two thoughts: She probably shouldn’t go into acting, and she can sing her ass off. Long time readers of this column know I’m a huge fan of hers, so yeah, I tuned in to see what the special was all about. Every skit was just ridiculously corny, but hey, they had to fill two hours. On to my second favorite country starâ€¦
-Taylor Swift’s “SNL” hosting job was probably the best one of the season so far. She was a lot better than I thought she’d be, did a funny monologue, and it seemed like there wasn’t one sketch the whole night that was just awful. “SNL” is hit or miss for a lot of people, but I haven’t missed one in probably fifteen years. It’s had its ups and downs, but overall I think this cast is pretty strong. Although it’s probably the worst presidential impression they’ve ever had. Half of the time Fred Armisen doesn’t even try to do an impression and just talks like he normally would.
-I’m sure a lot will disagree with me on the “SNL” front. That’s ok. I think I have a different sense of humor than most people. In fact, I know I do. I accept that. I find a lot of things funny that most people don’t. Hey, I’m the guy who thinks Nicholas Fane is one of the funnier “comedians” they do on the show, probably a close second to “Billy Smith”, who appeared this past weekend. Sorry, but to me, this is hilarious:
-Here’s an update on what happened in my life recently: I didn’t make the playoffs in my fantasy football league because everything that could’ve possibly gone wrong did. I took my niece to see “A Christmas Carol” over Thanksgiving. Halfway through I got an, “I don’t like this”, so we left. Probably shouldn’t have expected a 5 year old to understand the actual story of a “Christmas Carol”. Ghosts of past, present, and future. Whatever. If it’s not on Noggin or dvd, she really doesn’t seem to care. And finally, we won our annual Turkey Bowl flag football game on Thanksgiving morning with one of the greatest comebacks in Turkey Bowl history. Yours truly was a beast in that game. Unstoppable. And being old and 34, it took about a week to recover from it.
-Finally watched “The Wrestler” over the weekend. I’ve always been a wrestling fan, so I don’t really know what took me so long to finally watch it. It was really good. Depressing and dark, but good. And of course, there wasn’t a chance in hell I was going to pass up a movie where I got to see Marisa Tomei playing the role of a stripper. For 45 years old, not too shabby. Not too shabby at all.
That’s it for this week. The column will return on Jan. 5th, the day after Jake’s first episode airs. Join me on Facebook or Twitter by scrolling down the right hand column under “My Stuff” and clicking on the correct link. The comments section has been acting screwy for months now and I have no idea how to fix it. Sometimes it posts your comments and sometimes it doesn’t. I’m done trying to figure it out, so I apologize if you’re one of those who likes to comment. If you want more information on the Vegas outing and are interested in booking a room at the Venetian early at the discounted group rate, let me know as soon as possible at email@example.com. The more the merrier for this blowout. Have a great Holiday season and Happy New Year. Take care.