The Bachelor 14 - Jake

The Bachelor Recap – 1/11/10

So as you know, the site was down all day yesterday. No, it had nothing to do with ABC. Just some screwy technical stuff I have no idea about. It’s fixed now, sorry the column is a day late. Yesterday was about as hectic a day as I’ve had in a while. Sorry if I was short with some of you who emailed. A lot going on. But thanks for hanging in and I’m glad it’s finally safe to go back in the water. Shouldn’t have any more problems with the site. Here is the column as I wrote it throughout the course of the day yesterday.

Quite an interesting week to say the least. Probably the busiest I’ve been since the Jason/Molly/Melissa scandal and everything that went down with that. If you haven’t been back to the site since last Tuesday, you might want to read what I posted on Wednesday. It basically spoils the rest of the season for you and sheds some light on the Rozlyn “sex scandal” we saw last night. Could that have been any more ridiculous? (More on that later). What I wanted to first address is the reaction to Vienna being the final girl Jake picks. You know what’s funny? Through all the emails I’ve received, and most comments I’ve read, and even texts from friends, not a SINGLE ONE has said, “Jake picks Vienna? That’s great. I can totally see them together. Hope it works out.” So yeah, pretty much everyone is surprised, as am I. But lets remember something, there’s no way the “Bachelor” producers thought someone was gonna ruin their season after week 1. Did Vienna get a great edit in the first episode? No, not at all. Came off as a ditzy blonde who is unemployed, unmotivated, and is just looking for the next party to attend. However, my guess is as the show goes on, we’ll see her in a little better light. Not that she’s going to turn into America’s sweetheart (that’s already reserved for Tenley), but it’ll get better to where at least at some point during this process we’ll say, “Yeah, I could see those two together.”

But that’s what I find hilarious about the final two girls. Tenley fits on this show about as well as a salad does in Kirstie Alley’s diet. Or class and dignity go with Lindsay Lohan. I mean, I understand we’re only two episodes in, but Tenley is sticking out like a sore thumb. Why? Because she seems normal. And not out for some modeling career or to be on TV. Dare I say this girl might actually be there to find love after a tough divorce? Nahhhhhhh. Very sweet, innocent, reserved, and probably on the conservative side, whereas Vienna is itching at the chance for some douchebag like “The Situation” to take a shot of tequila off her stomach at a bar. With half naked chicks all around her. Vienna is the PERFECT type-A personality for this show. She is exactly what this show wants and needs. Tenley I’m still scratching my head about. What is she doing there? She’s waaaaaaaay too nice and proper for this show. I’m guessing we won’t be seeing Tenley getting piss drunk, taking off her top and jumping in any pools this season. Or ever. Hell, I’d be shocked if there was even one piece of footage where she says something bad about any of the other girls. Vienna? Forget it. We pretty much know what she’s all about by her telling us how much she loves herself, the Paris Hilton wannabe persona, the silicone she has jammed into her chest, and her utter lack of class. Other than that, she’s a hell of a catch and I’d be proud to take her home to mommy.

From what I’ve heard, Jake and Vienna are kinda like two peas in a pod. Both kind of march to the beat of their own drum if you know what I mean. Sure, there’s all sorts of stories coming out now about Vienna’s past, and she’s a wild child, etc, but maybe that’s what a guy like Jake needs. Look, I don’t care who he picks. I’m just trying to play devil’s advocate here. Vienna’s reputation is going to take a beating in the upcoming weeks, so, I’m just trying to look at it objectively in terms of, “Why would he pick someone that doesn’t seem his type whatsoever?” Honestly, for the life of me, there’s not a chance in hell these two are lasting. Hey, they might even be broken up by now. But what I do know is, Tenley and Vienna are the final two, and he doesn’t pick Tenley. So that leaves Vienna. I’m smart at math. Maybe he picked her, and in the month and a half since filming ended, they’ve broken up. Wouldn’t be the first couple to do that, and most certainly won’t be the last. But when the audience sees a Tenley/Vienna final two, I guess they realize they probably couldn’t have come up with two more opposite people than that, so the safe pick (and one that most of America would go with), would be Tenley. So when he dumps Tenley, there’s this season’s “surprise”. Jake has said interviews “I didn’t necessarily do what people expected me to do”.

Anyway, since I broke the news last week, I think my favorite rumor is, once again, that ABC is having someone purposely feed me false information. I don’t know how else to put this but, no, that’s not the case. No one is feeding me false information. My sources are about as solid as you can get, and I’ll leave it at that. The last possible thing I’m worried about is that I’m being lied to so ABC can one-up me. Not happening. So for those hoping for that, sorry to burst your bubble. Another beauty is that Mike Fleiss and I are somehow connected, and I’m an ABC plant trying to drum up ratings for their show. Now that’s laughable. Despite the sheer absurdity of it, you really need to think about that for a second. If I were an ABC plant, do you honestly think they’d let me have a Facebook page where I’m giving out my email address, family photos, my places of employment, etc? Not to mention I’m the easiest person in the world to get a hold of. Email address is at the bottom of every column, Facebook and MySpace pages, I’ve openly talked about where I’ve worked in the past and what I’ve done, etc. Please. Totally ridiculous. I think I’d have to be a little more private than that.

As for the biggest reason you should know I’m not in cahoots with show creator Mike Fleiss? Uhhhh, I think this should do the trick:

That guy freakin’ scares me. You think that’s the face of a guy I’d want to work for, or the face of a guy who creates the B.S. television show you watch every Monday night? That’s what I thought. He shouldn’t be allowed within 500 feet of women, let alone run a TV show. Why when I look at those pictures do I envision him driving a red van offering little kids candy after school? And seriously, are you really shocked to hear THAT’S the guy that likes making out with his contestants at the “Women Tell All” tapings? I mean, really? Creeper. I will never try to convince anyone I’m some pin-up model, but I’ll tell you this: I’m better looking than that thing. Which I guess isn’t saying much, but you get the picture. Total mouth breather.

The other thing about that is, not once have I ever said that I like to leak spoilers and ruin the show so people won’t watch anymore. First off, I don’t wield that much power. And secondly, people are still going to watch anyway. I could lay out the next 6 episodes for you, exactly what happens, exactly who goes home, and exactly what all the drama will be on every episode, and you’re still gonna watch. I’ve never claimed that I’m doing what I do to get people to stop watching. In fact, what I’m doing probably has the opposite effect. Hell, it did in Jason’s season when ONLY 12 million people tuned in to the 2 hour finale, then 18 million people watched the ATFR 1 which aired immediately afterwards, since that was where all the scandal was I had been reporting. I don’t think for a second I have control over whether people watch this show or not. All I’m here to do is to tell you what the real story is vs what you’re being shown. Perception vs. Reality. And I only will report it when I know there is blatant lying being done. And in Rozlyn’s case, there was. The insinuation that she carried on a sexual affair with a staff member is completely untrue. It’s just a storyline to have everyone around their watercoolers talking today. And it succeeded magnificently.

-So as we get started, the first group date is announced and Gia, Rozlyn, Valisha, Corrie, Christina, and Ashleigh will be going on a photo shoot. Once they found out, it seemed like it set the scene for the rest of this episode. Well, except the last 45 minutes. Just a lot of screaming and giggling. Was it just me, or did every time Chris Harrison finish a sentence about a date, or what was happening, or what Jake had for breakfast, all you can hear were shrieks that would pierce a dogs ear, and a bunch of laughing? There’s group dates every season ladies. Don’t get so excited. This is nothing new. Like Chris’ wardrobe from Banana Republic. I love the skinny jeans he’s going with this season. Nice touch, Chrissy. Very manly. Best part was they show Jake walking up to the mansion, and almost right on cue, he unbuttons one more button from the top of his shirt. Like he couldn’t have possibly done this before, it had to be while he’s walking up and the cameras are rolling. Anything else you need to take care of, Jake? Fly down? Forget your deodorant?

-So Jake introduces the ladies to his “friend” Hal who’s going to do the photo shoot. I’m sure Jake met Hal approximately three minutes before the ladies did, but now they’re long lost pals because, you know, Jake would have so much in common with a photographer from “In Style” magazine. Whatever the case, once Hal introduces himself and lets the ladies know they’ll be posing in his magazine, once again, “Cue the shrieking and giggling please!!!!!” Man, these women are either excited, horny, or drunk. My money is on all three. Corrie is sure excited. Corrie: “‘In Style’ is like my fashion bible.” Not surprising to hear Corrie mention the bible. She’s a virgin. That will get announced in a future episode. Not sure when. Just wanted to give everyone a head’s up on that. I think they even had a voice over of her saying that in the first episode, so it’s not really earth shattering news. There’s only one conclusion to draw from it: Jake doesn’t want to pick someone who’s a virgin. Sorry Corrie. I’m sure there are better fish in the sea. Preferably ones that have their shirt buttoned properly.

-So at the photo shoot, they show Rozlyn being the first one up. And being a professional model for ten years, she pretty much knows her way around a camera. And how. Good lord I wasn’t kidding last week when I said she’s easily one of the three best looking women this how has ever cast. She’s probably #1 now after tonight’s episode. I guess when you’re a model, it’s hard to look bad. Well, Rozlyn was shown every which way but sideways tonight, and I don’t remember her looking bad once. And apparently Rozlyn felt so comfortable posing in a mini skirt, she decided showing off her goodies to the cameraman while lifting up her leg was something everyone should of enjoyed. And we would’ve if it weren’t for that damn black box they put over to cover her, well, box. Awful. For all the wonderful imaginary editing this show can do, that couldn’t have been handled any worse. Don’t they realize that’s the editing that needs to be left alone? Idiots. Of course, the odds that her lifting up her leg actually showing her hoo-ha to everyone in sight are about as possible as Jake not getting excited by the thought of it. Which is to say, I’m guessing you couldn’t see a damn thing. Just another way for them to paint her in a bad light.

-Christina felt about as in place at photo shoot as Britney Spears does in an etiquette class. Needless to say, Christina was VERY self-conscious on date with at least three other professional models and a couple that probably could be if they wanted. She was suffering from sweaty palms. Ha ha. I said sweaty palms. That’s probably not the only place she was perspiring. I’m sure her forehead was too. Whatever the case, Christina basically didn’t want to be there, felt out of place, and even mentioned she’d rather be “doing math”. Oh boy. So I guess if we fast forward to the end of the night, can we really be surprised Christina gets the boot? I mean, these other women are laying on the sexiness thick, while Christina would rather be using the Pythagorean Theorem. Rozlyn = incredibly sexy. Christina = not so much. Unless she takes a ruler and…forget it.

-So now the photo shoot is over, and the party moves to the top of some swanky LA hotel. Jake pulls Gia aside to talk about her past. Why talk about it Jake? All you need to do is google her and find pictures of her Maxim spread and read about her latest professional athlete boyfriend. Gia says she’s only been in three real relationships, with her longest one lasting 6 years. Also admitted growing up, she wasn’t the “cool girl. I was very artsy.” Sooooo, “artsy” as in you like drawing things and carried your coloring books everywhere, or, “artsy” in you knew from an early age someday you’d like to be half naked in Maxim showing off your plus-2’s? Of course, “artistically” done. Once Gia pretty much was done telling Jake why Carl Pavano was such a huge bust after signing with the Yankees, Ashleigh stole him away by arriving in her bikini with tons of side boob going on. That look worked for her. Good job, sweetie. You know what else worked? You straddling him like a horse underwater. Giddyup!!!!! Yeeeeeee Haaaaawwwww!!!!! Is there a way to run a black light in a pool? I’m guessing we would’ve found some floating particles with Jake’s DNA written all over them if it was possible.

-So since Christina is already feeling insecure around the rest of the hot bodied women, she resorts to one thing that’ll get her through the night: alcohol. And boy does she seem pretty toasty at this point. Honestly, I don’t remember anything she was telling Jake since it all seemed mumbled, slurred, and out of order. I’m sure Jake didn’t have a clue either. Then again, when Rozlyn interrupts to steal alone time in her bikini, bouncing up and down in all of her glorious juggery, well, would you really give a crap about what Christina is rambling about? Me neither. I think once Jake’s mouth rolled out of his tongue and hit the floor and Christina was sent away, she hit the bottle again. And hard. It’s one thing to already feel down in the dumps about yourself on a date surrounded by Charlie’s Angels, but to have Rozlyn come in and steal your thunder the way she did, well, I’m shocked Christina didn’t slit her wrists then face plant into the pool. Rozlyn ends up getting the rose after tongue raping Jake. He then gives us the understatement of the year: “I’m definitely out of my comfort zone with Rozlyn.” Translation: The fact that a woman this hot is even talking to me is making my pants tight. Golly gee willikers, Lord. What do I do?

-It’s Ali’s turn to get the 1-on-1 date. Jake will pick her up on his motorcycle, Ali will straddle him on his bike a la Michelle Pfeiffer in “Grease 2”, she’ll sing “Cool Rider” to him as they cruise through LA headed to an airport where Jake will fly her in a private plane to Palm Springs. You know, in a way, Jake kinda reminds me of Michael Carrington from “Grease 2”. Total geek in the beginning, but wants to be cool so learns how to ride a bike, makes Balmudo look like a fool outside the Bowl-A-Rama, has all the chicks hot and bothered, then gets laid by Stephanie Zinone once he shows up at the Luau and fights for his woman. Except take out all the parts outside of “total geek in the beginning”. So yeah, exactly the same.

-Time for take off. Ali remember doesn’t like to fly. That’s why Jake is doing the courteous thing and now he’s not only a pilot, but a mechanic. He can fix planes too!!!! How perfect is this guy???!!! Be sure to check that gas gauge Jake. Make sure the engine is still in there. Check both mirrors before pulling out. Ha ha. I said pulling out. Up, up, and away they go to the melodious tunes of Jeffrey Osborne’s “On the Wings of Love”. By far, the cheesiest most puke-inducing moment of the season. Just in case you were so moved by the song last night like I was, here’s one of the covers to Jeffrey’s album you can purchase so you can put “On the Wings of Love” on an endless loop in your ipod. Have at it:

Of course, if that didn’t make your ears bleed enough, maybe Ali’s next line did. Ali: “For me, that plane taking off was our relationship taking off.” And you know what? For me, watching that scene felt like my manhood was being sucked right out of me.

-These two lovebirds cozy up to a nice dinner in Palm Springs where Ali starts talking about the ex-boyfriends. Hey, check this out. How weird is this. Apparently their date is now being brought to you by the letter “J”. Ali’s ex-boyfriends names are: Jim, Jason, Jared, and Jordan. WOWWWWW!!!!!! Isn’t that like the craziest thing you’ve ever heard???!!!! Yeah, me neither. So things apparently are just going swimmingly on this date for no other reason than, well, I’m not sure. Jake: “Ali was the perfect girl to bring on this date.” Uh huh. And I’m sure if he was there with someone else, he would’ve said the same thing. So it couldn’t have been perfect with Tenley? Or Gia? Or Elizabeth? Nice sucking up, Jakey. I say you do the gentlemanly thing right here and admit you’re lying to Ali. I’m guessing a plane ride to Palm Springs, followed by a car ride to a dinner and then a Chicago concert would’ve been fun with any of them. Just sayin’.

-Speaking of the band “Chicago”, I mean wow, could we find a more outdated band? Holy crap. The funny thing was, when they took the stage, you just knew they’d play “You’re the Inspiration” at some point. My beef was, “Hey, where the hell is Peter Cetera?” So I did a little research today and didn’t realize Peter Cetera stopped singing lead vocals for “Chicago” in 1985. Exactly. Pretty much the last time they were relevant. Man, I’m bummed. So Peter Cetera leaves them 25 years ago and no one bothers to inform me? Thanks a lot. And how can “Chicago” play a ballad for a couple as they slow dance and not throw in “Glory of Love” from “Karate Kid 2”? Or did Cetera do that when he started his fledgling solo career? Anyway, my point being here: Jeffrey Osborne? Chicago? The powers that be on this show realize we are in the year 2010, right? Nobody is wearing fluorescent “Frankie Goes to Hollywood” shirts and L.A. Gears with the colored laces anymore. Geesh.

-The next group date is to Magic Mountain with Jessie, Vienna, Ashley E., Kathryn, and Elizabeth. They had the whole park to themselves and got to ride for free. You know, I was at Disneyland the day after Christmas. Kinda felt the same way. Uhhh, not quite. When I have to wait almost an hour to ride “It’s a Small World”, the most overrated ride at that park, it starts wearing on me. However the frozen banana while waiting in line was ridiculously good, so I didn’t act like too much of a woman while waiting…ha ha. And while I’m on the subject, the next time a group of grown adults wants to trample my 5 year old niece and 2 year old nephew so you can get your picture taken with Goofy before he takes a break, feel free to remember how old you are. Talking about scarring a child for life. We had to make up some B.S. story that that was the “bad” Goofy, and the “good” we’d see later. I think she bought it. It was either that or she didn’t care once she got her hot dog.

-So Elizabeth gets a little time alone with Jake and really began to give off kind of a creepy vibe. How else do you explain that note? Before I get to that, what celebrity does Elizabeth look like? It’s killing me that I can’t put my finger on it. Yet another thing that practically kept me up all night last night. Anyway, Elizabeth likes to write notes on wire rimmed paper and read them to strange guys she just met 10 days earlier. The point of her note was she didn’t want to be kissed by Jake unless she was the final one. Exact words: “Don’t attempt to kiss me unless you get to the point where you’re prepared to kiss me and only me for as long as we both shall live.” Think she’ll have a ball and chain strapped to her husband the day she eventually gets married? Why not just on her wedding day, after her and her new husband are announced as “Mr and Mrs So-and-so”, she makes an announcement to the crowd that she will now cut off her husband’s nuts and throw them in her purse? Seems to be the most eloquent thing to do. She’s known Jake for ten days and is basically gonna blue ball him unless he’s the final one. Suuuuuure. That’s a hell of a trade off. I’m guessing Jake was thrilled by that. Elizabeth: “You can make out with my forehead all night.” Really? Can I? God that turns me on! Of course Jake gave the B.S. line of the night after learning of this: “I can respect that.” Sure you can, dork. Like you would ever go through this process and actually pick someone in the end you’ve never kissed.

-Now it’s time for the lovely Vienna to share her secret that’s about as dark as her roots are. She tells Jake that she was engaged to her pastor’s son in high school. Wow. This chick is stable. But wait, that’s not even half of it. Turns out that fiancée called their wedding off and month later got married and had a kid. So because Vienna has such a good head on her shoulders, she did what any rational 17 year old would do in that situation: She ran off and eloped with some guy she barely knew and ended up divorced four months later. Yeah, where do I sign up for Jake and Vienna’s registry? I’ll be sure any gift I get them is non-refundable, thank you. At least we can say this for Jake: Apparently he likes those divorcees since his final two are both previously hitched for a combined total of about 16 months. This is going to end well for Jake. No, really it is.

-Let’s skip ahead to the Rose ceremony and then I’ll talk about all the Rozlyn stuff. Jake shows up babbling again. “Sorry the cocktail party was cut short…feet back on the ground…lets move past this…I know every one of you well enough now to know you’ll make good decisions…and hot damn, did Rozlyn just leave? I’ll never land someone like her again. Vienna, you have a lot to live up to. Elizabeth and Ali already have roses.

Vienna: Eloping with guys you don’t know is such a turn on to guys.
Gia: Kind of elf-ish. Except with DD’s.
Tenley: Do they even ask her next season to be the “Bachelorette”?
Ella: The lucky recipient of Rozlyn’s 1-on-1 date with her son next week at Sea World.
Valisha: I honestly don’t think we’ve heard this chick say anything but her name in two episodes.
Corrie: President of the V-club and proud of it.
Jessie: Barely anything from this Britney wannabe either.
Ashleigh: Two words: side boob. That’s my lasting memory of her.
Michelle: Her grand exit is next week when Jake is heard telling her, “I think it’s just better off if you leave now”.

Chris Harrison: “Ladies, Jake, this is the final rose tonight. Hey look! As Rozlyn’s leaving she’s making out in the bushes with the producer! Now they’re heavy petting! Now they’re having sex! Oh wait, I’m not supposed to say that until a month and a half after it happened once we can figure out what storyline we’re going to use as the reason behind Rozlyn’s exit.”

Kathryn: I believe she almost swallowed her tongue when saying she’d accept the rose.

-Ok, I really don’t need to get into too much detail regarding the Rozlyn scandal. All the details I know I posted last Wednesday, so scroll down to the next post if you want to read them. They are 100% the truth behind what really happened. Nothing I tell you is going to make you believe me over Chris Harrison. It’s very simple right now. It’s a battle of he-said, she-said. Chris Harrison gives “details” in his blog today, and Rozlyn has denied it from the beginning. You will choose to believe whoever you want to believe. Here, check out this back and forth:

If it was so “brazen” and obvious to everybody, why didn’t you tell her, “Hey Rozlyn, c’mon. We’ve all seen you with our staff member. You can’t hook up with our producers. You know this. You gotta go.” Why’d he word it the way he did? Because they hadn’t figured out their storyline yet and needed to buy some time. She was being removed from the show because of an “inappropriate relationship”, yes, but that was because a producer admitted to feelings for her and was confiding things he was not allowed to. Just yesterday I was told that one of the things he did was actually give Rozlyn a phone to call her son. Noble effort, looking out for a friend who’s about to get screwed, yet he loses his job. Seems quite fair. Not.

I presented the facts to you last Wednesday as they were told to me, Rozlyn has essentially corroborated my story in most interviews she’s done, so now it’s time for you to decide for yourself. She’s denying it on national TV and some of you will still doubt her. I get it. It’s just the way it is. The woman has gotten shafted by ABC because they wanted people to tune in for drama. At least she deserves to defend herself and now she’s taking advantage of it. Rozlyn knows I’m looking for her and want to get an interview. If she does eventually do it, I’m sure she’ll address everything. But for right now, I’m gonna take a wait and see attitude. You’ve heard Chris’ side, and you’ve partially heard Rozlyn’s. I’m going to hold out hope that she’ll give me an interview.

-The only things I will say regarding last night’s episode and the way things were shown:

-Why did Chris never mention ANYTHING about Rozlyn and this producer’s relationship being a physical one during Monday night’s broadcast, just leaving it at “inappropriate relationship”, but the first chance he gets in his blog today and in subsequent interviews, he’s now saying the relationship was physical?

-Chris is saying this producer admitted to the physical relationship, and he says that girls in the house also witnessed this “inappropriate behavior” taking place. If that’s the case, why wouldn’t ABC show footage of it? You mean to tell me that in a mansion where cameras and boom mikes are on 20 hours out of the day, not one single person had video or audio footage of this “physical” relationship? Not one? That speaks volumes.

-For two weeks, this show hyped this scandal with a voice over of one of the girls saying, “She’s having a sexual affair with someone in the house”. Yet on the episode itself where they kick Rozlyn off the show, they never play this clip?

-A lot of people are immediately calling her guilty because she didn’t defend herself. That’s the easy was to describe last night. However, did anyone begin to think that maybe the reason she didn’t defend herself was because she had no idea what the hell Chris was talking about since he was being Mr. Ambiguous? As I reported last week, before that conversation happened is when I was told Rozlyn flipped out in the mansion because she found out she was being lied to about her son. So because Chris never says, “Hey Rozlyn, you’re being kicked off because you had a sexual/physical relationship with a staff member”, and went with the “inappropriate relationship” line, she’s probably thinking she’s being booted because he was confiding things in her he wasn’t supposed to. Chris NEVER accused her of a sexual/physical relationship during that spliced up interview.

-And this one courtesy of our good friend Jeremy Anderson today in a series of consecutive tweets he sent out: “Every single time CH talked about what Roz did wrong it was a voice over. That was the worst editing job yet! Surely no one believed that, right? I mean seriously, if u like the girl, no matter what, u go up and talk to her about it. At least give her the opp to defend. Jake wasn’t the least bit concerned about finding out anything. I guess he is very trusting and has never been mislead by or lied to by anyone. Roz was obviously 1 of his favs and he let her go w/o a sweat. Bet rest of girls were scared 2 death.

My opinion based on 3 years reading people and 32 years listening. I don’t know what was being said to Roz to get those reactions, but her answers and reactions did not even come close to fitting with the questions that were aired. If so, that must have been the most confusing conversation for Chris Harrison to try and get through. CH To Roz: u messed up hooking up with a producer. Roz to CH: but I don’t think my personal life before the show is anyone’s business…just 1 example how that is just nonsensical & ridiculous.”

In a nutshell: If Jake liked Rozlyn like he claimed, and this news is dropped in his lap, how does he not ask any questions about what happened, or at least say, “Hey wait a minute. I don’t believe that. I want to talk to her.” Chris tells him, he’s devastated, and…that’s it? I believe everything you say, Chris? Very, very odd. Just like you say Rozlyn should’ve defended herself, well why didn’t Jake stick up for Rozlyn and ask to speak to her immediately? So fake, it’s not even funny.

These are just things to think about. I trust my sources 100%. But until we hear more from Rozlyn, I’m assuming there’ll be more doubters than believers. As was the case with Wes, knowing this show’s track record, all I’m asking is for you to keep an open mind. Because NOTHING is as it seems on this show. You see the preview clip for next week? They’re hyping it as “Just when you thought the biggest scandal was over, even more drama for Jake.” Then they cut to a clip of Tenley saying, “I’m pregnant.” Please. Unless you can get pregnant from holding hands, Tenley isn’t pregnant from anybody. I was told by my source that next week Tenley tells Jake about her divorce, but when she first sits him down, she starts with “I’m pregnant” as a joke. So yeah, sorry for ruining that for you as well. And when that comes true next week, you’ll realize I’m not just throwing sh** at a wall and seeing what sticks.

Keep it right here for any updates as I will be back before the end of the week with something. Sorry again for the computer malfunctions all day yesterday. Don’t think it will happen again. Any questions, comments, emails, praises, criticisms, email me at steve@realitysteve.com. If you want to join me on Twitter, my address is Twitter.com/RealitySteve. Or if you want to add me on Facebook, scroll down the right hand column under “My Stuff” and click on the appropriate link.

13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. indifferent

    January 14, 2010 at 12:11 PM

    “And secondly, people are still going to watch anyway. I could lay out the next 6 episodes for you, exactly what happens, exactly who goes home, and exactly what all the drama will be on every episode, and you’re still gonna watch. I’ve never claimed that I’m doing what I do to get people to stop watching. In fact, what I’m doing probably has the opposite effect.” I gotta say I disagree with this! Ever since I found your site and watched the trainwreck ending of Melissa/Molly/Jason, I’ve quit watching the show. I just read your updates Steve…mostly because I <3 your sense of humor!

  2. lithargic

    January 14, 2010 at 1:47 PM

    Steve, you almost got this one right. My sources confirm that Jake rejects BOTH Tenley and Vienna at the FRC. If you have seen any of his interviews he never says that he found his wife only that “I followed my heart”.
    You are also a little off on the Roz story. Everyone in the house knew that she was “making out” with one of the production guys. Maybe they didn’t go all the way but it was still blatant. She gave them enough rope to hang her and that’s what they did because it created drama where none existed.

  3. yourmom

    January 14, 2010 at 1:48 PM

    Just wanted to add that I have a difficult time believing that anyone would come forward and admit a “physical relationship”, knowing they would most likely lose their job. Plus, can we see a picture of this guy? Is he even someone attractive enough to cross the line with? Just curious. I also don’t buy Jake’s reaction – anyone else see what a terrible liar he is? He sort of smirks everytime he’s trying to lie, like he doesn’t even believe it.

  4. babyfat101

    January 14, 2010 at 2:50 PM

    tmz has posted his photo and name. to me, he looks like conan’s sidekick.

  5. RaRa

    January 14, 2010 at 4:24 PM

    “…a lot of the girls in the house were noticing this producer and Rozlyn’s flirtatious behavior towards each other, saw Rozlyn gets a rose, and started becoming suspicious.” I’m not sure what you are saying here — are you saying that the fact Rozlyn gets a rose contributed to the women’s suspicions? Did they thing the producer “friend” Had some influence over who receives a rose? Or did you mean that the women became upset (and tattled on her) when she got a rose after they saw her flirting with the producer?

  6. pinkscrubs

    January 14, 2010 at 6:34 PM

    I don’t understand how Tenley makes it to the final 2 when she tells Jake she found out she is currently pregnant ???

  7. xandraba

    January 14, 2010 at 7:56 PM

    i know EXACTLY what you’re talking about with elizabeth looking like a celeb. she’s like a wrinkly version of megan fox! ahahahaha

  8. Superwomen

    January 14, 2010 at 8:47 PM

    I think Elizabeth totally looks like Megan Fox…and Courtney Cox.

  9. neutle

    January 14, 2010 at 10:12 PM

    Pinkscrubs ~ did you read the rest? Read the next to last paragraph in the recap & you’ll have your answer.

    I agree that Elizabeth looks a bit like Megan Fox. Maybe that’s part of the reason I don’t like her? (It has nothing to do with how Megan looks, but her rotten attitude.) Well, besides that she reminds me of Megan and stated playing games…. Puh-lease. Apparently, it’s not that she doesn’t want to be kissed until/unless she’s the F1. She just wants to stand out from the other girls and make this all about him wanting her enough to pick her just so he WILL kiss her.

  10. jcrew617

    January 14, 2010 at 11:25 PM

    I think her conversation with Chris was about her son. She says “Other girls have felt for other people before the show” meaning that she cares about her family and son back home. She says “She was not being deceitful” about having a son and not telling Jake because producers told her to not tell him but then spread rumors to the girls about her lying. She broke the rules when she called her son with the producers cell phone, and that’s why they fired the producer. He consoled her against the Fleiss manipulation.

  11. CWJ

    January 15, 2010 at 4:22 AM

    I would love to see something different this time . . . no one accepts Jake’s final rose.

  12. Polar

    January 15, 2010 at 8:08 AM

    You guys really need to check this video out…
    http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/01/13/bachelor-rozlyn-cuddle/

    It’s regarding deleted scenes where the women discuss Rozlyn Papa’s “inappropriate relationship” with a show staffer.

  13. pinkscrubs

    January 15, 2010 at 8:26 AM

    Sorry, did not read the last paragraph on Tenley, but not a very nice joke…

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