On a formatting note, we’ve now broken up each of my columns into pages so you aren’t scrolling down one giant long page to read the column anymore. Might not be something you’re used to at first, but trust me, this is so much better. Don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. Well, I know why. Because I had no clue what I was doing.
The biggest news to deal with now is this phone call that Ali places to Jake in Monday’s episode wanting back on the show. Uh huh. Actually, I feel insulted that ABC would think I would buy that garbage they’re selling. Are you kidding me? There’s about a million things wrong with that clip they are currently previewing. Just on production value alone, it’s about as spliced and chopped up as anything they’ve ever done this side of Wes Hayden’s edit last season. How stupid do they think their audience is? I know a lot of you want Ali and Jake to end up together in the end, and thought they make a great couple, and are bummed she left the show, but I cannot stress this enough: this is the ABC hype machine in full force. In addition, you can rest assured that if Ali wasn’t under some ridiculous contract, that phone call never would’ve been placed. I think that phone call is a complete embarrassment for what it’s trying to portray her as. For those that haven’t seen it, here it is:
Geez, where do I begin? Ok first off, Jake is in his hotel bathroom in St. Lucia washing his face and hears the phone ring. As he walks towards the phone, which looks like it’s no more than 10 feet away from where he was in the bathroom, he has no watch on. But right when he turns the corner, he now has his watch on his left arm. Great editing you nimwits. So already we know the call is staged.
On Ali’s end, I don’t really understand exactly what they want us to believe here. That she’s actually back in San Francisco, yet laying in bed in a lavish Beverly Hills hotel room with a hotel robe on, or, that this woman actually sleeps with two 8 ½ x 11 glossy photos of Jake Pavelka on her nightstand? Which one is it? This video looks like something me and my best friend used to make back in high school where I’d play horseshoes with hats (Don’t worry about it. Long story). So the shot of Ali talking 1-on-1 with the camera with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background, that’s supposed to be real? Seriously? I’ve seen better fake backdrops at Disneyland when my niece takes a picture with Goofy.
This is without a doubt one of the worst acting jobs put on by both people in the history of this show. However, there’s a reason Ali made that phone call. She’s under contract. She was forced to. Sure, Ali had feelings for the guy when she left the show, and that phone call was placed shortly after she left the show (within a week or so), but that is not how this was all supposed to go down. Here is what my sources have recently told me about that bogus phone call:
-After Ali went back to work, the producers presented her with the idea for this phone call. Basically telling her, “Look, you’re gonna do this. And if you don’t, we’re going to make it seem a whole lot worse and we’ll pretty much say anything to Jake about you.” At this point, Ali still has feelings for the guy, still a little bitter she had to leave the show because of work, but she knew damn well she couldn’t come back on the show, because her work situation hadn’t changed. I know a lot of you are still doubting the whole “Facebook-called-her-back-so-she-had-to-leave” story, but I’m here to tell you it’s true.
-Ali had not been at Facebook long enough to warrant getting off any more time than she did. She used up all her vacation time to do the show. If she takes off any longer, then it becomes a permanent leave of absence and she’s out of a job. I think that’s pretty standard in any job. You’re allowed personal time off. Once you’ve used up all that personal time off (which Ali did), then you pretty much are risking your job by taking more time off on top of that. So that’s where the ultimatum came in. Either turn this into a permanent leave of absence and you’re out of a job when you get back, or, return to work. So she went back to work.
-The phone call was pre-produced, Ali was told to tell Jake she wanted him back, even though she knew she couldn’t go back on the show. It’s called a contract. She does what they tell her to do or else there are consequences. Ali was flown back to that LA hotel to make that phone call. Why the voice over in the preview has her saying she’s back in San Francisco thinking about Jake? I have no idea. Maybe when it plays out on TV, they’ll admit that Ali came back to LA at some point, but that promo clearly is insinuating that she’s back in San Francisco, thinking about Jake enough to keep bedside glossy photos of the guy, and that’s where she makes the call from. That’s obviously a hotel bed she’s in, along with the robe, phone, nightstand, and headboard. Good Lord this show makes me lose brain cells.
-One point tons of you are missing on this is where “Facebook” comes in to play. So many of you are saying “Facebook is loving the publicity its getting from this show. Of course they wouldn’t mind her being the ‘Bachelorette’.” Ummmm, not once has Ali mentioned on TV where she works, nor is she allowed to. She hasn’t said it on the show, you won’t hear her mention it on the “WTA” or when she does “Ellen” next week either. You will never hear the word “Facebook” uttered during this show. The only people who know she works at Facebook are about 1-2% of their viewing audience who follow message boards, tabloid mags, and blogs. That is not their core audience, you have to remember that. This shows core audience is middle aged housewives who live in fantasy land and think this is real. It’s not. The minute you stage a phone call and tell a girl to tell Jake “I want to come back” even though you know, she knows, and Jake knows that IT’S NOT POSSIBLE WHATSOEVER, then that’s where this show goes from being “reality TV” and becomes “unscripted drama”. Ali wasn’t given a script per se, but she was told what that phone call needed to be about. And Jake was well aware that phone call was happening. He was not caught off guard after washing his face and putting on his watch in world record time.
Would I be surprised if Jake wanted Ali back? No. Especially after hearing all this stuff come out about Vienna the last two months. I am being told Ali was very much into Jake, bummed that work presented her this ultimatum, was very upset she couldn’t see where this relationship could’ve gone, but that time has passed. They came to her within the last few weeks regarding being the “Bachelorette”, and of course she’s flattered. Who wouldn’t be? It’s pretty obvious she sees why she was told to make the phone call to Jake – it makes for good, dramatic television. The main point I tried to make in the interview last night is, you people have got to separate what happened during the October-November filming of all this against what has happened since then.
During filming, Jake is constantly telling the other girls, Chris Harrison, hell, anyone who’ll listen, “I’m not seeing the side of Vienna that you all are talking about.” So yes, she apparently had him fooled. But he made his choice of Vienna back on Nov. 22nd or 23rd. A lot has happened since that has probably clouded his judgment of her, as it should. He’s probably embarrassed that he’s gonna have to somehow defend her to the masses when no one understands his final decision. That’s why I said in the interview last night, when we see Jake and Vienna together (“together” meaning “on the same episode”) at the “ATFR”, I want him to confront her about everything that’s happened SINCE they left St. Lucia. If he doesn’t at least bring this up, than Jake Pavelka is truly the biggest puppet and weenie walking the face of the earth and he could not care less about finding a wife.
It should be an interesting ending to the season even though you’ve known what’s going to happen since January 6th. I’m talking more about the “WTA” and “ATFR” shows. Looks like Rozlyn is going to do the “WTA” after all. I’m sure I’ll get some info before that episode airs on Feb. 22nd. Just don’t know if I’ll have it before Tuesday’s recap. And we have plenty of time before the “ATFR” films, so I will see what I can get out of that. See you Tuesday unless something huge comes out of the “Women Tell All”, then I’ll have something for you Sunday. Monday will be traveling back to Texas most of the day. Emails, questions, comments, email me at email@example.com. Have a great weekend…