Sorry the column didn’t make it up Friday. Kinda hard when the NCAA Tournament started on Thursday. I should’ve realized that after watching college basketball for eight hours straight, I really wasn’t gonna be in much of a mood to write. My apologies. Anyway, this column will cover the real “March Madness” that happened this past weekend at a bar here in Dallas with me and some its patrons, my thoughts on ABC’s “20/20” special on the “Bachelor” from last week, “Survivor”, and some early thoughts on “Dancing with the Stars”.
So I was at Christie’s on McKinney Ave in Dallas this past Saturday watching the games. I was there with a bunch of Baylor fans, and in the section next to us were a bunch of Kansas fans watching their Jayhawks choking their game away. For about 38 minutes of the game, I never said a word. Obviously, being a college basketball nut, I had an interest with what was happening to the #1 overall seed in the tournament, who was basically losing the whole game to Northern Iowa. Another reason I had an interest in the game? Money. To say I had a few bucks riding on Northern Iowa would be an understatement, so of course I was interested. Anyway, once it was apparent Kansas was gonna lose, I busted out a couple of “Roooocccccckkkkk Chaaaaallllkkkkk Jaaaaaayyyyy Haaaaawwwwkkkk, Kaaaaaaayyyyy-Yooouuuuuuuu” chants. To which a couple fans didn’t take a liking too that much. One guy turned around and flipped me off, and some girl in a flannel gave me an evil stare. Then when it went final, I gave a couple “UNI! UNI! UNI!” chants. Sure, probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but it was all in good fun. Or so I thought. The flannel girl turns around and mouths to me, “You’re going down, bitch.” Um, excuse me? By whom? You, or your cornfed boyfriend?
Look, it’s one thing to have Northern Iowa +11 ½ pts. That was never in doubt. I knew I was winning that. But when you’re probably only one of the few people in America to put a money line bet in on UNI, then I think that gives you reason to do or say whatever the hell you want. Did I need to mimic a “Rock Chalk Jayhawk” chant? Eh. Did I need to throw in a couple “UNI” chants? Probably not. Will I be happy when I collect my winnings? You bet your ass I will. Flannel girl’s bitchy attitude and her inbred boyfriends middle finger was worth the heartache. It’s a basketball game people. You know what? You’re still alive today. The sun is out and it’s supposed to be in the 70’s. Be happy. Because someone cheered against your team that makes you that miserable? Geez. I’d hate to live in your shoes. Get over it. You lost to an inferior team, and now outside of your national championship two years ago, you’ve been bounced by a much lower seed in three times since Bill Self has been coach, and haven’t made it out of the first weekend. I guess it’s all or nothing with that program now.
So even when I thought the KU fans had gotten over their monstrous choke job (and lets face it, it was a HUGE choke job. A #1 seed doesn’t lose in the 2nd round. Well, unless you have “Kansas” written on the front of your jersey. Only 13 times has the #1 seed lost in the 2nd round – but three of those times were Kansas), apparently Flannel girl wasn’t done with me. As I was getting my ass out of there with numerous people staring at me, she shot me another look as I walked by and mouthed something I’m sure was not PG rated. Funny. I’ve never had a girl hate me so much. Well, at least one that didn’t know me. Look, if you go to bar, wear your college colors, paint your face, and cheer for your team, just know there is a slight possibility there are other people in there watching the same game rooting for the other team. So why is it ok for them to cheer loudly when their team is losing all game, but I throw up a couple chants at the end knowing my wallet just got fatter, and I’m the village idiot? If you don’t like dissenting opinions then watch the game at home. I’m going to cheer for whoever wins me money. If that happens to not be your team, so be it. But when you go to a bar to watch a game, you gotta expect that. So to all the patrons at Christie’s on McKinney this past Saturday, my apologies – for the crew cut loser and his flannel girlfriend causing such a scene. Ha ha.
We’re still two months away from the “Bachelorette” beginning, yet even in the “offseason”, I’m shocked I’m getting information flowing in already. Even though it’s early and they’re only 10 days into filming, here’s all I know so far:
-Filming started two weekends ago at the mansion in California with 25 guys
-For the first time in what seems like forever, the overnight dates will not be somewhere tropical. Ali will be in Iceland for her overnight dates.
-There is a group date this Wednesday in NYC at the Museum of Natural History
So there. That’s all I got for you now. Now, last season, once it was down to nine women I believe is when they left the mansion for good to head up north, and then to St. Lucia for the overnights. Considering there’s a group date in NY in two days, I’m guessing the show is about to pack up and leave filming in LA and finish up in NY before heading to Iceland. Early group dates in the past that have been out of state have usually just been in Vegas, or at least somewhere close to LA. I can’t imagine they’d fly a group of guys to NY for one day, only to have them all fly back to LA for a rose ceremony. Whatever the case, if you’re in the NY area, just know there’s a group date at that museum this Wednesday.
“20/20” Bachelor Special
For anyone that has ever questioned stuff I’ve said about how phony this show is, I need you to look no further than this special. Did Mike Fleiss essentially confirm a lot of things I’ve been telling people for years? I didn’t think that was most flattering piece they could’ve done on this show. Lets see, from my understanding, here’s what they essentially admitted to:
-Casting characters for the show
-Sex on the overnight dates
-Casting people before they even decide who the “Bachelor/ette” is
-Making sure to cast women who will be hated by other women
Gee, thanks for proving my point Mike. I appreciate it. The #1 response since the special aired I’ve gotten has basically been something along the lines of “Mike Fleiss is the creepiest guy in the whole world.” Which is pretty accurate. The funny thing is, every single interview I’ve ever seen with the guy, he’s wearing the same thing: tinted glasses and a black leather jacket with a black shirt. Not exactly the look you probably want to go for if you’re looking for fan support, buddy. What a hilarious special. I thoroughly enjoyed all two hours of it. Did they really reveal anything that deep and “inside”? Not really. Outside of Fleiss admitting the thing about the bachelors having sex (which I’ll get to later), it was more of a “Where Are They Now” or “What’s Their Life Been Like Since the Show” piece. Here is what I learned from watching:
-That Brad and DeAnna are…friends? That was all kind of bizarre. They had this big buildup to Brad seeing DeAnna for the first time since the “After the Final Rose” show, and then they showed them on camera for maybe 20 seconds. And what did we really expect to see? I would think two years after the fact both of them are over it by now. We know DeAnna’s got a boyfriend anyway, so I thought the build up was kinda stupid since what kind of payoff were they expecting? They made nicey nice with each other and that was that. Gee, ABC hyping something that doesn’t pay off? No way!
-Byron has put on 100lbs since his season. Mary doesn’t look healthy in the least bit. Or sane. It’s very obvious she still wants Byron and he wants no part of her right hook in his life anymore. It only could’ve been made better if those two were forced to do their interviews in the same room. Sparks would’ve been flying. Along with some of Byron’s teeth I imagine as well.
-I had mentioned a while back about Matt Grant having dental work done before the show started, but I was surprised to hear they even mentioned that. Especially the fact that it was $20k. He must be treated like royalty when he’s back home in England with chicklets like that now. I actually think I like Matt more now than I did when I watched his season. He isn’t half as dorky as I thought he was. And seems to have somewhat of a personality at least.
-Reid really pissed a lot of women off around this country by announcing he’s dating someone. Reid, do you not understand that these lunatics worldwide actually thought you were appearing on Ali’s season? Or that you are supposed to end up with them someday? C’mon man. What are you doing dating a former Miss USA or whatever. Shame on you. Mary Housewife in Middletown, USA wants to marry you. You should at least give her a chance. I’m guessing Reid’s woman will now have a slew of unknown women hating on her now.
-The segment with Reid was kinda weird. Of 19 seasons, and all the hundreds of people who ended up getting sent home, it was weird seeing those four there. Reid? Understandable. Tanya? Yeah, I mean she finished second on Byron’s season, but that was still a while ago. Peyton and Jehan? That was kind of out there. I mean, sure I remember Peyton getting left on an air craft carrier. But I couldn’t remember a thing about Jehan, let alone what season she was on. Kind of a throw away segment if you ask me. Didn’t really offer much insight.
-Do you realize that since she made the media rounds once the season ended, that was really the first time we’ve heard Melissa Rycroft talk about what happened? That was probably one of the more interesting segments to me. Once again, admitted her and Jason were broken up before that ATFR even taped, but had no idea what she was walking into. Hence the reason I thought it could’ve been handled better. I think it’s quite obvious a year later that it was done strictly for television purposes and Fleiss knew he a goldmine and went with it, despite how embarrassing it was for Melissa.
-Every time you saw Fleiss on camera, if you read into what he was saying, it was basically what I’ve been telling you for years. This show is to attract ratings and they will stop at nothing to do so. Finding a happy couple in the end to get married is not the focus of the show (hell, Fleiss practically admitted it), yet that’s what they try and portray every season. And that’s always been my biggest beef with the show. If you didn’t try to play yourself off as a “relationship” show where feelings and emotions and finding a future spouse were possible, I wouldn’t have nearly the problem I do with it. Just admit, “Look, we’re here to shock you, cast people who are good television, and put them in situations that’ll get people to tune in.”
-Did they go behind the scenes of the Rozlyn scandal? No. They gave it about a minute. Funny though that Fleiss said, “We found out that one of our producers had basically fallen in love with one of the girls and they were carrying on a romantic relationship during filming.” The show obviously made you think there was a relationship, but they always pointed it at Rozlyn this and Rozlyn that. And Rozlyn was the one doing everything wrong. First time someone actually admitted the producer was the one who fell for her, which is what I told you happened three months ago. The fact he called the whole scandal Project Lemonade because “we were taking lemons and turning it into something delicious” says a lot. Translation: We manufactured the story because we knew it would get people talking.
-The biggest dirt to come from the special was Fleiss admitting that, on average, the bachelor will have sex with three women. THANK GOD. Finally, someone from the show comes out and admits this. It’s the question I’ve been asked more than any other question since I’ve been writing my blog. Well, there’s your answer. You can all speculate as much as you want as to which girls each bachelor slept with now. Knock yourselves out. Do I know some? Sure. But that’s not my place to say. Probably not hard to figure out who. I mean, there are overnight dates where the guy and the girl get to spend the night in a hotel room by themselves with the cameras off. Does he bang all three every season? No. But that’s where Bob Guiney comes in and brings up the average…ha ha
-Fleiss telling America that Bob Guiney slept with “5 ½” women was just bizarre. First off, how does he know this? Secondly, exactly what is “5 and a half”? He slept with a half a woman? Is the ½ someone you played “just the tip” with? I’m confused. I’m sure Bob was thrilled with that piece. Especially considering Fleiss didn’t hesitate for a second to blurt that gossip out. Hell, he almost interrupted the interviewer’s question to let everyone know, “HEY, MY BOY BOB GUINEY SLEPT WITH 5 AND A HALF WOMEN EVERYBODY!!!!!” He seemed really proud and bubbly to basically call one of his bachelors a male whore. Congrats, Bob. Funny thing is, I actually heard it was more than 5 ½.
-Having Melissa fly down to Austin to interview Wes seemed like a waste of time considering, once again, he got about a minute of airtime. They admitted to pegging him as a “villain” and knew what they had right when they cast him. Then replayed his famous line exiting in the limo. Of course, as we know now, that’s not the full sentence that he said, and he was just repeating the question asked to him. And what Wes told Melissa about being spit on, having his hair pulled, beer poured on him, that was no lie. I’ve witnessed it myself. Pretty ridiculous how idiotic some people are when it comes to this show.
All in all, I was entertained by the show. Didn’t do any investigative work because, well, it’s ABC show. They’re not gonna throw one of their franchise’s under the bus. However, I was surprised that Fleiss actually admitted to some of the things he did. Kinda helped back up all the stuff I’ve been telling you about the show. However, if Reality Steve were to do an expose on this show, you do realize we’d get a completely different two hour show. My show would consist of:
-Telling everyone the real stories about how they get people to cry on camera
-Showing behind-the-scenes of the producers asking the men and women questions in their ITM’s
-A lot more emphasis on the contract which states they’re allowed to humiliate, embarrass, defame, etc in any way without any legal repercussions, which is why they can get away with the stuff they get away with
-Telling everyone how much the “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” are actually getting paid to do the show
-How the show is completely different now (i.e. – casting, “frankenbiting”, unscripted drama) than it was when it first aired eight years ago
All that and much, much more is really the stuff I think people would be shocked to hear about. So many people have emailed me in the last year who have recently found my site saying stuff like, “I knew the show wasn’t real, but I had no idea it was THAT fake”. And even those people still probably don’t grasp how unreal this show is. Sure, are emotions sped up because you’re forced into a house with no contact to the outside world, thus your feelings for someone become accelerated? Yes. But there’s so much more that goes on, and so much more coercing and manufactured stuff that you wouldn’t believe. So while the “20/20” special did give us some humorous insight, it really fell short of exposing the show for what it really is. I give the show a “C”. Let me produce one and I guarantee it’ll be an “A”. I’ll win an Emmy for it.