Reality Roundup

Reality Roundup – 4/5/10

The column was half finished on Friday, but I didn’t only want to put half up, and I was waiting for some information that I never got, so, I decided to finish it last night. There will be an “Idol” recap up Wednesday, but no “Reality Roundup” on Friday due to the fact I’m leaving Wed morning for California. So needless to say, I’m not gonna get a column up while I’m out there. Just isn’t gonna happen, so I figured I’d tell you in advance. Today’s will cover the very little “Bachelorette” info I have right now, “Dancing with the Stars”, thoughts on the “Idol” results show, “Survivor”, and “Celebrity Apprentice”.

Just wanted to take a quick minute to recognize the passing of someone recently. You don’t know this person, and I’ve never met him myself, but have spoken with him on a few occasions. To say he has been helpful to me and my column over the past year or so would be an understatement. So even though I had never met the guy in my life, I considered him a loyal and honest acquaintance of mine that I will miss shooting the breeze with about all things “Bachelor/ette” related. Scott, I’ll miss ya buddy. Thanks for all the help.

“Bachelorette”

Not a lot of info to give. Sure, there are guy’s names out there popping up that are on this season, but nothing major as of yet. I’ve seen some of the names, but honestly, I don’t care. They’re not done filming as of yet, so it’s not that big of deal who was cast on the show. Look, these people have friends and these people have families, and frankly, those friends and families don’t seem to care to mention that, “Oh yeah, so-and-so just left to film the ‘Bachelorette'”. Happens every season. Nothing is major news until you find out storylines, final four’s, any scandals, and who the final one is really. With that said, just to give you something to wet your appetite, one of the guys competing for Ali this season is this man, Hunter Wagner. Apparently he likes playing the ukulele. Good looking guy, not much of a singer (which would basically qualify him for “American Idol” this season), but nonetheless, pretty funny video. Too bad Ali doesn’t pick him.

Yes, Hunter has already been eliminated. I don’t think he even made the Top 9, but I could be wrong. Just know he didn’t win. But hey, I enjoyed the video. Hopefully it won’t get taken down from YouTube like Jessie Sulidis’ did before Jake’s “Bachelor” season started. You definitely didn’t want to miss her singing karaoke to Britney’s “Womanizer”. It was a gem.

“Dancing with the Stars”

Before we get to the results, lets talk about a few of the performances from last week. I know people like Niecy Nash, and they’re enjoying her performances, but count me out. I’m sorry, not a fan at all. That in your face humor she does is too over-the-top for me. People who try to be “on” all the time usually fail. Like Robin Williams. Too over-the-top for me. I understand Niecy is trying to get people to like her, but it’s a bit much. I honestly don’t think she’s said one funny thing since she’s been on the show. Not to mention I have no idea who the hell she even is.

So, they cut down all the rose references for Jake’s dance, but as I told you last week regarding rhythm and movement, I thought Jake’s jive was stiff and corny. Not to mention all the awkward silences in the back room afterwards talking with Brooke Burke. I guess that’s what happens when you can’t think of the perfect thing to say every single time you open your mouth. It’s probably the best way to describe Jake. He’s just corny. And a horrible dancer with no rhythm. Seemed like Chelsie was doing all the dancing and he was just kinda moving around with her smiling.

Another week, another Buzz performance that was just embarrassing. Please, this show has got to put an end to letting the geriatrics stay on for a few weeks as some sort of inspirational story. It’s not. The only thing inspirational about Buzz’s story is that his wife can be a role model to all women out there who inject to much botox into their face. Holy crap! Did you see her? I understand women as they get older don’t like to actually LOOK older, but ummmm, well, face the facts. It’s gonna happen. Do you really want to stuff your face with cc’s of that stuff only to look like THAT when you’re older? No thanks. Buzz and his wife’s faces might melt off if it gets over 100 degrees someday.

Every season they do it, and every season it makes no sense. They cast one or two people with some sort of dance background whether it be in hip-hop, or ballet, or whatever the case. And every season that dancer will say, “Yeah, I’ve danced before, but ballroom is completely different.” Ok, shut up Nicole. You are 1,000 times better than any of the other ten contestants left on the show. Lets face it, if she doesn’t win, its because people don’t like her. I know this show is a popularity contest when it comes down to it, but I also think people like voting for someone who’s good, but improves every week. When you’re snatching 9’s in Week 1, it’s kinda hard to improve. She is easily the best dancer they’ve had on the show in recent memory. She’s hot, she can move, she doesn’t come across as a bitch, and they paired her with probably the most likable guy on the show. I don’t care by how many leaps and bounds any of the other dancers improve by each week, Nicole will still be 1,000 times better than them, thus, she should win.

Can Erin and Maksim just get a room already? Preferably one that doesn’t have a video camera in the peephole. Well, actually that might be a good idea. Not that she needs to go through that whole ordeal again, but you know, just for my…forget it. Probably shouldn’t have gone there. The funny thing about these two is they’re being very coy about whether or not they’re into each other. She’s said she wanted him as a partner from the beginning, he’s admitted how hot she is, I mean jeez. I will say this, if Erin and Maksim are hooking, I know of two people who might be a little jealous: David Wright of the Mets and Jason Varitek of the Red Sox. Just sayin’.

Chad and Cheryl? Yet another couple that enjoys teasing all of America with their flirtiness. First off, isn’t Cheryl seeing someone? Not that it matters since this is Hollywood and that’s what these people do, but just thought I’d point that out. Secondly, after DWTS ends, Ochocinco starts filming a reality dating show for VH1 where chicks are competing for him. So he and Cheryl would just be fooling around for fun. And if they are, I think there might be a former winner who partnered with Cheryl that might also get a little jealous. His name rhymes with Schmemit Twith. Tough one. Chad and Cheryl also had an awkward post-show interview. I thought Chad was going to cry after the judges destroyed him.

As for Kate Gosselin, look we all know she’s terrible. That’s not news. And we all know she’s the worst dancer maybe they’ve ever had on this show that wasn’t over 70 years old. The thing is, I don’t get how this woman can practice 4-6 hours a day for a week straight then do a performance like that? How can Tony sit there during practice and tell her, “Yeah, lookin great. You’re really doing well”? She is HORRIBLE. That was the worst jive ever done in the history of this show, and it wasn’t even close. It was seriously like she just found they were changing her dance to the jive that morning, and she had a few hours to learn it. Did you see her? All she did was watch Tony’s feet and try to do what he was doing. Yes, I know she’s not a dancer. Yes, I know she’s out of her element. And yes, I know her defenders will say, “Well at least she’s trying.” That’s the thing – I don’t think she is. She doesn’t seem to care how awful she is. There’s no way you can practice for a whole week, hours on end, on the same dance, and look the way she did last Monday night. Either she’s the worst learner or Tony’s the worst teacher. And I’m guessing it’s not the latter.

As for the voting, look, we all know Shannen wasn’t the worst dancer on the show. Apparently there are plenty of people out there who still resent her for leaving Brandon and high tailing it to England and study abroad. Bitch. But then again, this show has never been about the best/worst dancers, it’s about who the fans like/hate the most. If there were a phone number that you could call where it would be a vote AGAINST Kate Gosselin, then by all means, she would’ve been eliminated this week. But as many people that hate her, which is a large amount, the only thing they can do is not vote for her. And apparently that just wasn’t big enough last week. But as long as she keeps sucking up the dance floor on a weekly basis, it’ll only be a matter of time before she’s gone. Her rabid fan base can’t possibly keep her around for more than a couple more weeks. However, I think it’ll be awesome to see her keep dancing. You realize how many awful performances and practice meltdowns we’ll get from that crazy woman? I’m borderline giddy just thinking about it.

They’ve definitely added a few new wrinkles to the show, but last Tuesday we saw the latest one, and that was the “here’s-a-nice-little-video-tribute-on-your-way-out-the-door”, a la “American Idol”. Surprised it took them 9 seasons to come up with that since “Idol” has been doing it forever. I can’t wait to see Kate Gosselin’s farewell video. Nothing but recaps of her awkwardness, her crying at Tony, her bitching about not knowing how to dance, and her general dislike for anything and everything involved with the show. What a ray of sunshine that woman is. I really wish her all the best in her future endeavors. And by “all the best” I mean “the worst”. Go away.

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13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. mja

    April 5, 2010 at 10:20 AM

    Good recaps —

    Did you see the look on Kate Gosselin’s face when it was down to only three couples and she thought she might be in the final two? Biggest scowl I’ve ever seen on DWTS — And I really can’t believe that she and Buzz were not the final two. But it’s true, it just means they have more fans than Shannen. But I did think that Pamela Anderson had more fans than that, especially men who might want to see her around for longer. She did escape, but was in the bottom two… so if there is no improvement from now on, she’ll be out.

  2. mja

    April 5, 2010 at 10:21 AM

    I meant “bottom two” not “final two.”

  3. Wiggity

    April 5, 2010 at 11:15 AM

    This Hunter Wagner guy on the uke is hilarious, how does he not make top 9???? He should be the next bachelor if that’s the case! I’d agree, good looking guy, seems like he has a lot of personality, and most importantly, seems pretty real which is unusual for the show.

  4. Kel

    April 5, 2010 at 11:47 AM

    Hey Steve~

    Thanks for the recognition of Scott and his passing. SDL was the classiest, smartest guy on this planet. Your “shout out” made me smile.

  5. lemon-lime

    April 5, 2010 at 5:18 PM

    http://www.votefortheworst.com is reporting that there’s a possibility that Casey is gay.

  6. contusion

    April 6, 2010 at 1:27 AM

    That thing they posted hardly looks convincing. Casey hardly comes off as gay. And who cares anyway.

  7. HeidiT

    April 6, 2010 at 10:07 AM

    That Uke guy Hunter Wagner was hilarious I almost spit my drink out he was so funny, need guys like that on the Bachelorette/Bachelor because most are stiff with no personalities at all, I mean other than Bob Guiney none of the guys have had an ounce of personality. The only way this guy didn’t make top 5 would be he didn’t put himself out enough to get Ali’s attention or she found she had no chemistry with him at all or ABC couldn’t portray him in a negative light that they bumped him. Whatever the case this guy is funny. Can’t wait for the Bachelorette just to get you reporting regularly again. Have fun in CA hope you miss the quakes.

  8. lemon-lime

    April 6, 2010 at 11:59 AM

    @contusion: you cared enough to not only visit the site, but to comment about it!

  9. sfrey

    April 6, 2010 at 1:22 PM

    Steve,

    I’m from Illinois, and I you hit the nail on the head with this comment about the ex-governor, “he was awfully entertaining to watch.” I know many people (not from Chicago because the state is definitely bigger than that) that would agree with you and can’t believe how badly he has screwed us over.

  10. contusion

    April 7, 2010 at 12:24 AM

    I was curious about what they posted. I don’t “care” if he’s gay or not. That was my point.

  11. jorgiegirl

    April 7, 2010 at 7:17 AM

    @Steve on “Bachelorette”:
    It’s WHET your appetite.

  12. lemon-lime

    April 7, 2010 at 8:20 PM

    @contusion: I’m curious to know what you meant by “Casey hardly comes across as gay.”
    Are you implying that all gay people look and act the same way?

  13. contusion

    April 8, 2010 at 9:05 PM

    Yes, I’m implying that all gay men are fruity fems who love to hang out with fat chicks that can’t get hetero men and they all sit around and talk shit about everyone and act flamboyant. Of course that’s not what I’m saying, and obviously there are plenty of gay men out there who you would never really guess to be gay. But I will go out on a limb and say that over the many years, my gaydar has been pretty spot-on and I’m just saying that “to me,” Casey hardly comes across as gay. I could easily be wrong. And either way I think he’s a talented guy who deserves to come in about third, then go back and be a local bar band hero after the big American Idol snoozefest tour is over. He is good looking enough that he could probably get work on TV, but I don’t think he’s got enough of that kind of personality to do it. And, being that he’s a pretty good musician, he probably doesn’t want to anyway. Hope that helps.

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