Episode 5: (In Iceland now, 9 down to 7)
1-on-1: The guys have to write poem for Ali, and the best one gets the 1-on-1. Like DeAnna’s season when she chose Jesse Csincsak’s HORRIBLE poem. Kirk wins, gets time with Ali, and gets a rose.
Group date: She took the guys to a cave, they all put on harnesses, and go spelunking. Never had heard of that word until this date. Sweet. I wouldn’t mind spelunking with Ali either. Or on her. Anyway, I guess spelunkers are people who explore caves as a hobby. Woops. Outstanding. I’ll pass. Caves scare the piss out of me and I’ve never even been in one. After this, according to the media release, “they enjoy a dip in the famous geothermal hot springs, Blue Lagoon.” Sweet. Were a naked Christopher Atkins and Brooke Shields hanging at the Blue Lagoon with them? Sorry. Only off by 30 years. Ty Brown got the rose on this date.
Rose or Go Date, 2-on-1, Justin and Kasey: Surprise, surprise. Like this wasn’t already set up. The guy who’ll do anything for Ali vs. the guy who’ll do anything to promote his wrestling career. On the day before this date, Justin finally got his cast off. Yeah, probably a good idea. You don’t need to be walking across glaciers and up the sides of volcano’s on crutches. That might suck just a little. A helicopter takes these two to that active Ellyfkyaljdfasdjrferirbyrar volcano, days before it became a national story and shut down air traffic in Europe. And it doesn’t fly them over the volcano, or drop them several hundred yards away from the volcano either. They actually get dropped off ON the volcano. While it’s active. Does this show have a death wish or something? Pretty damn nuts if you ask me, but I’m guessing that’s gonna make for a great visual.
Once done on the volcano, the helicopter picks them back up and drops them off at a glacier. Then they head in to some other cave, and in the cave is when Kasey shows Ali’s his tattoo. No idea what her reaction was. I wasn’t there. Whatever the case, it couldn’t have had too big of an effect on her since she decides to give Justin the rose. I’m guessing at this point in the show, there will be a worldwide groan of people across America screaming at Ali, “NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! YOU IDIOT!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??????” You thought Robby D getting left on the train tracks in Vancouver was bad? You thought Peyton getting left on an air craft carrier in Andy Baldwin’s season was brutal? In what undoubtedly will be the worst 2-on-1 elimination ever, Kasey gets left on a f***in glacier in the middle of Iceland! All the while, the wannabe wrestler and Ali have a helicopter whisk them away. Ouch. What a tough run this is gonna be for Kasey. His princess just took off with the prince of douchebag land. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to watch that scene. One thing I’ll give it up to ABC for this season are the date locations. An active volcano? Ice caves? Glaciers? Regardless of what happened to either Justin or Kasey in their experience, I’m guessing that day will be something neither of them will forget for the rest of their lives. Pretty damn cool if you ask me.
Rose ceremony elimination: Chris N. from Florida (Kasey Kahl already gone).