Episode 6: (In Turkey, 7 down to 5)
Before any of the dates begin, Ali walks in on all the guys after having gotten off the phone with Justin’s girlfriend back home. She calls him out, he storms out, craziness will be involved, but in the end, she kicks him off the show right then and there. Once I’m done with the elimination spoilers, the full story will be at the end of this column. It’s hard to know what they’re going to show versus what aren’t they’re going to show, but I will give you all the information I have about the scandal, including how Justin’s girlfriend involved is not an ABC plant or some actress looking to get airtime. Oh yeah, one other thing, there’s yet ANOTHER girl involved in all this. Told you it was nuts. I don’t know whether to commend Justin in all this and call him the biggest pimp ever, or think he’s the stupidest human on the planet for thinking he could pull this off. Whatever the case, I’m gonna enjoy watching all this go down.
I am not sure if any roses are given out in Turkey and Portugal. If I had to guess, I’d say no. After Justin is booted, there’s only six guys left in Portugal and she boots one. So whoever gets a 1-on-1 you know isn’t going home because then there’d be no rose ceremony.
1-on-1: Ty Brown. Some Turkish bath/massage. I’m guessing it didn’t quite have the same feel and look as say, oh I don’t know, something in Vegas. Is a happy ending different in Turkey than in the states? Just asking.
Group date: This was the one with “gargantuan Turkish olive oil wrestlers”, according to the press release. This date was Kirk, Chris, Roberto, and Craig. I’m sure the ladies will love seeing four strapping men all oiled up rolling around with wrestlers. Too bad “Rated R” Rego couldn’t have been around for this one. I would’ve liked to see a flying elbow to Roberto’s noggin. And Ali, if you want to oil yourself up and roll around for a while, all my contact info is at the top of the page.
1-on-1: Frank. He and Ali are given money to go shopping amongst around town and buy a bunch of crap they’ll probably never use again. Well, I’m guessing Ali won’t once she found out what she did about Frank.
Rose ceremony elimination: Craig Robinson (Justin already sent home cuz his chick from back home c**k blocked him).
Episode 7: (In Portugal, 5 down to 4)
1-on-1: Roberto gets the 1-on-1 at the Castle Sao Jorge. Never heard of it, but here’s a quick story. I got a random email on April 10th, the day this date was actually being filmed, from someone who just happened to be vacationing in Portugal and was at the Castle. This person asked around and an employee told them that the “Bachelorette” was filming that day. Hence the reason I knew a while ago they went to Portugal. Another reason why it’s basically impossible for ABC to prevent stuff from getting out. Like I’ve said, I don’t go looking for this stuff. Don’t need to. It comes to me.
2-on-1: This is with Frank and Ty Brown as they get to dress up like the locals and go dancing around the streets. Or whatever the press release said.
Rose ceremony elimination: Ty Brown.