The Bachelorette 6 - Ali

Bachelorette 6 Recap – 5/24/10

For those of you reading this now who haven’t been back to the site since the end of Jake’s season (and that’s plenty of you), you’ve missed quite a lot. Well, basically the whole season. Two weeks ago I released all the spoilers to this season. Every date, rose, scandal, etc. It’s already out there. Under the banner up top, there are the Spoilers Part 1 & 2. Part 1 covers the spoilers broken down into what you’ll see in each episode this season, and Part 2 is the Justin “Rated R” Rego scandal. It needed its own column since it’s a lot more complicated than you think and I wanted to give you the backstory of it. So in order to get rid of repetitive emails asking what happens this season, or what this scandal about, just refer to the spoilers at the top of the page. They’ll have all your answers. Well, most of them. The only thing I don’t know at this point is what the final result of this season is. Obviously I reveal in the spoilers who the final 2 is, and I will repeatedly offer up spoilers during the recap, but as of today, I do not know the final result of the show. Hopefully I will know that soon. And when I do, so will you.

As most people know, I’m a huge sports fan. One thing I’ve always wanted to do in my life was watch a game at Wrigley Field. I’ve also never been to Chicago before. Well, it’s gonna happen now and anyone is invited. I’m coming to Chicago for a weekend in June, and Saturday June 19th, I’ve got bleacher tickets to the Cubs/Angels game that starts at 1:05. Anyone that wants to go, you’re more than welcome to show up. I suggest buying your bleacher tickets off ebay or Stubhub.com, or some seedy scalper. If you are interested in going to the game, email me and let me know you’re in, and I will update you on the plans. Obviously since I’ve never been to Chicago, I’m not familiar at all of where to go, but I have people there who are already in for the game giving me ideas of what to do. Once we finalize where, we will all meet a couple hours before the game to meet up, then head over to the game. Should be a hell of a weekend and I hope you local Chicagoans (is that the right word?) show me all the good places. Hmmmm, maybe I’ll send an invite to Jillian and Ed. Ha ha.

At the end of today’s column, I’m going to give you the details behind Frank’s departure from the show in Tahiti. Like I mentioned last week, this will be something that the show will never portray, but I have the background of what really went down. You can choose to believe the show, or you can choose to believe me and my information. Considering I nailed everything about the first episode, and will nail everything about the remaining episodes, it’s probably a good bet to believe what I tell you. I have no reason to make this stuff up. And if you don’t, well, then you’re just a pawn that the show is playing like a fiddle. More on the Frank stuff later. Now, on to last night.

-Since I already recapped most of episode one a few weeks ago in terms of telling you what was going to happen, tonight’s recap will just be a reaction of things I finally got to see for the first time. Like the montage of Ali at the beginning of the show re-hashing all the stuff with Jake, the phone call, the fights with Vienna, etc. No surprise they were gonna show us Ali saying that she made a mistake choosing her job over love and is ready for this adventure. That was a given. Nothing new there. She’s said it in every single interview she’s done already. I was more impressed she can bounce a soccer ball on her knee four times then bounce it off her head. Outstanding. Had no idea she has the talent of a young Daniel LaRusso in “Karate Kid”. I was half expecting some jealous guy to come into the scene and kick the ball into the ocean for her to go get. Then break her boombox. I’m sorry. But that beach scene in “Karate Kid” is an all time classic. In fact, when I was young and wanted to be Daniel LaRusso, I thought my first encounter with my high school girlfriend would go the exact same way. Uhhhh, I was wrong.

-So they show some of the hometown videos for the guys about to come on the show. No need to comment on all of them, just the ones I felt deserved it.

Frank: Had a great job, quit to move to Paris and work on screenplays, now lives with mom and dad. Frank came across as one of the more likable guys on the show to me last night. I really liked that guy. Too bad he’ll be one of the most hated men in America come Tahiti. Sucks for him. More to come.

Justin: The “Rated R” goober is a bundle already, isn’t he? I don’t even know where to start with this guy. Is he seriously slamming that guys head into a turnbuckle in his hometown video? Yeah, cuz that’s totally something Ali is looking for.

Ty: Ty Brown is the country singer from Nashville. He plays a guitar. Been there, done that. Might as well just refer to him as Ty Hayden this season. Can’t they come up with any original storylines with these guys? I mean, really? Last “Bachelorette” we get a guitar playing country singer, and now another one? Oh wait. I forgot. This show is the same exact thing with the same exact formula every season, just with a different cast. I hope people have come to realize that by now.

Kyle: The outdoorsman from Colorado. He has hunted and conquered just about anything and everything known to mankind. Except apparently a woman. I can’t imagine why. Most girly girls would love to walk into a place like his and see Bambi mounted on the wall. Makes them feel real comfortable and safe knowing the man you’re about to bed down with was skinning a raccoon hours earlier. Very sexy.

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33 Comments

33 Comments

  1. Moogan21

    May 25, 2010 at 8:26 AM

    steve – you forgot to mention the guy in the cowboy boots when he gets out of the limo.
    i thought that was pretty funny.. “i wore them cause when you got out of the limo on jake’s season, you had them on.” “uhm.. no i didn’t.” “oh, what?… oh.. oh.. uhm, ok. oops.”
    then ally laughing at him was good too.

    looking forward to next week!
    ps. any reactions re: Bret Michaels winning celeb. apprentice?

  2. sally885

    May 25, 2010 at 8:31 AM

    you’re right – this sure does seem like a lame group of guys. that kasey is such a fast talking mush mouth, i couldn’t understand a word he said. too bad he didn’t realized that ali doesn’t want a lap dog, but a challenge. ali giggling at everything anyone said? annoying. most overused word last nite: passion. ugh.

  3. Ladda

    May 25, 2010 at 10:04 AM

    I can’t believe you thought Ali looked hot last night. More like a HOT MESS with her Britney Spears weave and too much makeup and unflattering dress. Shame, b/c she WAS smoking hot during the Bachelor. I am a chic, but I am NOT a woman hater. Like I said, she was hot before….what happened?

  4. jolieb

    May 25, 2010 at 11:11 AM

    Anyone know where I can watch the episode online??? I missed it last night

    ABC and hulu aren’t workin for me for some reason

  5. Jeanie

    May 25, 2010 at 11:38 AM

    One thing ABC could do with Frank to really make him out to look like a jerk is to show Frank with his girlfriend in Chicago in the same episode as his hometown date with Ali. Making it seem like he’s meeting up with his girlfriend before his date with Ali would truely make him the most hated man this season.

  6. alisonb

    May 25, 2010 at 11:50 AM

    can anyone please confirm or deny that kasey is partially to mostly deaf? i’m not being mean, i just really thought he was…or that he had a speech impediment…i just want to make sure that next week i’m allowed to make fun of him if, in fact, he’s perfectly healthy and normal and just talks like a frog. thanks!

    ps: ali looked horrible last night…britney spears weave is right, and what’s with the unflattering dress that made her look like a linebacker compared to any other bachelorette in the past? i know she’s not fat bc they showed a pic of her in a bikini and she has ridiculous abs, but in that dress she looked chunky. i’m not trying to be nit picky, i just feel bad that she looked and obviously felt so awkward….i hope she warms up as the show goes on or this will be difficult to watch….i’m starting to appreciate jillian a lot more now!

  7. BuckeyeGal007

    May 25, 2010 at 12:06 PM

    I’m not a Roberto fan, so you won’t have to hear about from at least one female. :-) I think I’m going to be Chris L fan.

    Oh, you forgot to mention the gem that was Kirk using the word “macrame.”

  8. lemon

    May 25, 2010 at 2:06 PM

    I think they’ll get better ratings if they show Frank and his ex during the HTD episode, because everyone will be talking about it: this dude hooked up with his ex during the show, the preview for next week shows the bachelorette going crazy when she hears about it, you gotta watch!

  9. ling24

    May 25, 2010 at 2:19 PM

    I’m also not a Roberto fan, although at this point I almost hope that he wins because I wouldn’t watch if he’s the next bachelor.
    Maybe it’s only because my father also cheated on my mom, but I am a Kasey fan just for that speech alone. Yes, the way he talks is a bit weird, but I still love him.
    I also like Frank, dispite what I already know.

  10. awales

    May 25, 2010 at 2:49 PM

    Um so where the hell did ABC find all the hobbits and gnomes for Ali’s season?! I’d be willing to bet her obnoxious, non-stop fake laughing was probably due to the fact she was being brought closer and closer to tears each time another guy walked out of the limo.

    And I agree with Ladda up there- Ali was looking pretty wrecked last night. She looked excellent when they announced her as the next Bachelorette, but the “make-over” ABC gave her with the extensions makes her look like a tranny mess a la Kim Zociak of the Real Housewives of ATL.

    Also, I would be more shocked by the scandals that go on this season if it weren’t so obvious Ali was going to be a total dud without them; anyone who saw last nights episode with the geek overload aka her “Bachelors” could figure that out. Do we suppose she’s having buyers remorse yet???

  11. dnai

    May 25, 2010 at 3:51 PM

    Man, The producer’s of this show sure did foreshadow everything you’ve revealed to us Steve. (Unbelievable that Ali having been through the Bachelor wouldn’t listen to the collective voice of the guys when they voted overwhelmingly that Justin was a serious douche bag. It’s that that makes me think she had to be in on it somehow.)

    Frank seems to echo Jason somehow- physically/energy wise-guess they wanted to foist that repeat on the audience. And what was with all the dark haired dudes?

    P.S. It makes me cringe when Chris (host) says Ali fell deeply in love with Jake. Yeah…right.

  12. foreveramom

    May 25, 2010 at 4:23 PM

    I purposely didn’t read your blog about the spoilers until after I saw the first episode! Daughter and I were so surprised when they introduced Jonathan the weather guy!!!! OMG!!! Living in the Houston area we just laughed!! He is the weekend guy on the NBC affiliate (which surprises me that they would let him do it) !! I met him when he came to my daughter’s high school for career day!!! When Ali said how sexy Roberto was after she first met him, I turned to my daughter and said he is going to be one of the finalist!! (Daughter says he needs to manscape!) Then I read your blog….

  13. Da Babe

    May 25, 2010 at 6:15 PM

    OMG – what a lame bunch this season. And listening to Ali laugh/giggle – is she thinking the same thing? It just seems totally put on. Kinda like a scene out of When Harry Met Sally, except for some reason Ali + the guys are awfully painful to watch. Thanks as always Steve. You rock!

  14. bevbhart

    May 26, 2010 at 5:20 AM

    I can’t believe you said you liked Frank. He quit his job to become a screen writer. Get Real! Notice he did not tell her in his one on one that he lived with Mommy and Daddy. Secondly I resent the Gomer Pyle reference of Ty, if he is the one from Tennessee. As a southerner, I resent calling anyone with a southern accent as Gomer and Hicksville. He seemed very nice and nice looking. I am not sure what he will be later on, but at least he works unlike Frank and the Outdoorsman.

  15. ko_vixen

    May 26, 2010 at 10:53 AM

    I gotta say that comment about Derek and the leaves had me in tears…

    Oh and thanks for the CRAPPY song being stuck in my head…..

  16. katethegreat

    May 26, 2010 at 11:23 AM

    After watching the first 50 minutes, here’s my gut feeling about who she’s with and my initial rantings on the first impressions. (I haven’t read the spoilers.)

    Cap Cod guy — He ends up within the top three guys. Seems like a great guy, not even comparable to all the other guys there. Heck, she probably chooses him.

    The likeable, enthusiastic guy with glasses (Frank?) He’s around for a while but I can’t see her with him. He’s too much like a friend…and since he’s an aspiring screenwriter, probably came on the show to get noticed and route his scripts around hollyweird. Also, spastic.

    Steve from Cleveland with good hair. He’s around for a few more weeks, but he’s too short for her. Really, really cute though.

    John C from Seattleish with the hugely arching eyebrows. He probably has really nice shoes.
    Craig “Patrick Dempsey” from Canada. He probably has really nice Canadian shoes.

    Dude-with-bad-hair (which one!?), outdoorsman from Colorado – why did you let them dress you as a JcPenney model from 1978? Sad.

    Other tallish, blondish dude (another Chris) who in the intro was made to dress in yet another horrid JCPenney baby blue sweater. Uggggh. You’re probably a nice guy but ABC has you cornered as incredibly boring.

    Lawyer with slicked back hair – pass. Your skin hasn’t seen the sun since you were 9 and is therefore, not suitable for California. Or Ali.

    Back flip guy – way too cocky and not even good looking enough to warrant it.

    Short, turquoise shirt wearing weatherman – also too short and a tad annoying. She’ll pass on you like a rain cloud.

    Roberto – Ali really has her eye on you. You’re adorable and charming. You’ll win her over, but I’m not sure she ends up with you. But, you may end up running off with one of the producers.

    The guy with the voice that sounds like he’s got peanut butter stuck in his throat and wears too much foundation – not going to be there in the final 5.
    The guy w/the ukelele’s is cute in a way (gag) and it’s great that he stuck his neck out, but his introduction was as if he was ready to start his comedy improve routine. Ummmm. Career move?

    All the other guys are forgettable.
    Wait – there’s a wrestler. that’s odd.

  17. BreAnn

    May 26, 2010 at 11:43 AM

    This is something I noticed but maybe I’m wrong. Ali was never shown in a bathing suit in the Bachelor or maybe I just missed it. I perceived her as a little heavy. Could that be why? She does look like she’s lost some weight, probably worked out constantly for the Bachelorette, everyone does, I’m sure. But we will see if she appears in a bathing suit, she would have to in Tahiti. I’ve been to the South Seas, Tahiti, Bora Bora, etc. It is breathtaking.

  18. Juge

    May 26, 2010 at 10:17 PM

    @Katethegreat, you are hilarious…..and right on! Did anyone else notice, the end shot of Ali standing there in her gown, waiting for her 2 prince charmings to descend upon her, she doesn’t look happy and like a woman in love!

  19. ruffle

    May 27, 2010 at 6:02 AM

    Cape Cod Chris, family and close friends watched opening night together at a small restaurant. Chris texted through out the evening and lit up like a noontime sky whenever Ali appeared on screen. He gave a thumbs up or down as each bachelor exited the limo. It was a grand time and Chris looked like a man seriously in love.

  20. my_4_girls

    May 27, 2010 at 8:18 AM

    I agree with alisonb. my parents work with deaf & I have been around deaf/hard of hearing people all my life. I said that from the moment he began to speak. He’s definitely got some sort of hearing loss.

    Also, I thought Ali looked like she had some work done– like botox injections on the lips or some stuff like that. She was MUCH more natural on Jake’s season… looks a bit too ‘made-up’ this time around. I liked her before, but her laugh is getting on my last nerve! hopefully as the season goes on, the nervousness will die down & there will be fewer laughing moments. One can only hope!

    Lastly, I think Roberto is HOT & my first thought of Chris L (after seeing his picture on ABC’s site)was that he wasn’t hot enough for Ali, BUT he comes across much better on tv. I think she’d do great with either!

    Thanks for the blog… keeps me interested & I LOVE the laughs!!!

  21. momx3

    May 27, 2010 at 2:51 PM

    She got totally screwed by ABC. It’s like they chose the worse looking guys applying to be on the show.
    After seeing the first group of guys and Chris H. asking her if she thought her future husband was one of them Ali replied with something like: perhaps in the next limo (like saying these guys were lame, pls. let the next group be better looking)
    Please someone help Roberto wax that big caterpillar he has for eyebrows.

  22. timrsun

    May 28, 2010 at 11:22 AM

    I just read on The ENQUIRER web site that they have the inside scoop on the drama that’s in store on The Bachelorette. This is from their web site.

    “One of her suitors is exposed as a phony by his real-life girlfriend — after she finds out he’s been cheating on her. And another wimps out on an overnight date with Ali — confessing he’s still in love with his ex-girlfriend. And if that’s not enough, we can also divulge the names of the final two bachelors who will vie for 25-year-old Ali’s hand! “It’s going to be one bombshell after another,” a source close to the show told The ENQUIRER.”

    They don’t give the names of the final two on the web site so I guess you’re supposed to buy the magazine to find out. Of course, we don’t have to because RS already gave us this information weeks ago.

  23. timrsun

    May 28, 2010 at 11:24 AM

    It’s funny how the Enquirer said THEY have the inside scoop. Someone at the magazine probably reads Reality Steve.

  24. latinlover

    May 28, 2010 at 1:20 PM

    Why is everyone, including you Steve, so negative about Roberto? Let’s just be clear that he’s the only non-white guy on the show (besides whatever background Justin is from)…so he’s cute but everyone should wait and see what he’s like before you decide if you’re a fan of his or not. If you are automatically not a fan of his, without even knowing what he’s like, it just sounds a little like you won’t give him a chance based on pre-decided stereotypes. Speaking of that, when are they going to have black bachelors and bachelorettes? And to the person who said that they wouldn’t watch if Roberto was the next bachelor, why not? What is so wrong with him? He is adorable and seems very nice and he didn’t do anything to humiliate himself the first night nor did he act like a jerk. Am I blind or something?

  25. AngelaM

    May 31, 2010 at 2:05 PM

    I have to say Steve, I’m a woman and I thought Ali looked great. Yeah, she looked different on the Bachelor, but she didn’t have people doing her makeup and hair for her when she was there, so of course a professional is going to do it differently than she will. The only difference between her on the premiere and the night they announced her as the Bachelorette is her hair was up during the announcement and down this time.
    And that dress was perfect for her, sexy, elegant, and flirty.

  26. mja

    June 1, 2010 at 8:10 AM

    Steve, Chicago is an excellent place to visit, and Wrigley Field is a must if you like baseball. I used to live in Chicago and really miss it. Hope you enjoy!

    So far I’ve managed not to watch the first two episodes of the Bachelorette… but feel really up to date from this column, so may watch next week.

  27. Sunnyside422

    June 1, 2010 at 6:56 PM

    Okay….I’ll chime in about Roberto. I agree he needs work with th eyebrows but come on, he is no goofball, shows no inflated ego, gets along with the guys, seems polite and respectful towards Ali and behaves as though he truly likes her. Course we only see the edits we are allowed but I was not turned off by his behavior (drunk and stupid) that usually occurs with these bachelors.

    I like his smile and the sincerity we are shown. I hope he is her final choice.

  28. Sunnyside422

    June 1, 2010 at 6:57 PM

    Oh forgot….thanks Steve for making this pitiful show fun to watch!

  29. HeidiT

    June 2, 2010 at 6:02 PM

    I also am not a Roberto fan, don’t see anyone on here that’s even worth liking, a bunch of dbags is right, all I could think of is did America run out of good looking men this season? Or have good looking men stopped applying?

    When they showed Kyle at home showing off his animal collection all that went thru my mind was “What a lovely room of death you have.” .

    When Frank and Ali went on the one on one date the car broke down in two different locations, when they show the car from the helicopter it’s right next to a barricade, when they show it again from the ground, they have a huge shoulder next to them so I thought that was odd, then wondered while Frank was in hollywood if he managed to drop a few scripts along the way??

  30. newviewer

    June 2, 2010 at 6:45 PM

    I’m sorry..the producers may be good at coercing people to do what they want but they SUCK at background checks! Shouldn’t one of the first questions be, “Do you have a girlfriend or are you still in love with an ex-girlfriend?” And shouldn’t they follow up on it so they can weed out fame-seekers???? Seems like a basic part of the job. I know it’s not “reality,” but shouldn’t the part where everyone’s single be real at least? Geez…

  31. BelieveItisScripted

    June 8, 2010 at 12:48 AM

    I hate this show, but it is like a bad train wreck, you just have to look!
    I do not judge the men by their looks. Just as with the bachelor, when the female contestants first arrive they do not look very good, like wise the bachelors. But some of them grow on you.
    I like Chris from Cape Cod. And Roberto is okay too. The rest PFFFTTTT. Cape Cod Chris would be my choice. But I think Ali does not pick any of them.
    To the person who posted that Frank could have told Ali, secretly and had her not give him a rose.. I think you have to realize it is all scripted and manipulated. Just as Frank could not leave when he wanted to, the producers dictate most of Ali’s choices for the roses. It is how they make the fake dramas.
    At least so far we have not had to endure the fire side chats between Chris and Ali…. those scenes make me puke. Chris is such a bad actor, his lines come across rehearsed.
    I think next season the show needs to get new producers and writers. It is becoming YAWN… and too much of a joke.

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