-At the final cocktail party, Chris Lambton sets the record for “Most Consecutive Rose Ceremonies Showing Up Underdressed”. He doesn’t have on a tie yet again, and is going with the sneakers. Awesome. Chris is kinda growing on me. Seems like a cool guy that doesn’t take himself or this show all that seriously. Good for him. As mentioned earlier, Ali basically sh*t cans the cocktail party by telling Chris she’s “made a connection with everyone here except for one”. Ouch. That had to be a giant kick in the balls to Craig as he’s watching last night. Even mine started hurting when she said that.
-Frank and Ty already have roses. Ali: “This week has been emotional…a relationships are taking a step forward (except with you Craig)…it’s not fair to go through a cocktail party knowing my mind was already made up. In fact, there’s six of you here. I’ve made out with five of you. Do that math, morons. Of course Craig is a goner.”
Roberto: Still smarting over that awful loss to Craig in the All Valley Karate Championship.
Chris: I’m just waiting for him to like skateboard over to her at one of these rose ceremonies.
“Ali, gentleman. This is the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. I’ll try not to make any noise choking over here listening to Justin’s voicemails to Jessica. These are priceless.”
Kirk: His .5 seconds of oil wrestling were really his only shining moment last night. And when that’s your shining moment this late in the game, you know you’re not long for this show.
Ok, let’s talk about what I know you’re all going to ask because I’ve gotten at least 25 emails/fb & twitter messages about it. Basically paraphrased, everyone is asking after seeing the previews they gave away last night, “Why is Ty in Tahiti?” When I first saw those clips, I actually thought the same thing. However, on second glance you will notice that NONE of those three clips they show of him that make you THINK he’s in Tahiti are actually of him IN Tahiti. Let me explain. There are 3 shots in particular:
-Ty is shown in helicopter, with the very next shot being over the waters of Tahiti. Creative, but it doesn’t show Ty in Tahiti. Ty takes a helicopter ride next week in Portugal.
-Ty is shown shirtless on a beach with water and bushes in the background. Once again, not Tahiti. That was a shot from earlier this season on the Malibu beach date.
-Ty is shown hugging Ali on the beach. Again, not in Tahiti. That was also from the Malibu beach date earlier this season because a) the water in the background is not the Tahitian waters and b) Ali has on the same black bikini she did on that group date.
So very clever of ABC editing to try and make you think Ty was in Tahiti with those shots, but he’s not. I assure you. Now, on to the next order of business, which is “Why did they just basically give the whole season away in the previews?” Answer: I have no idea. I guess they figure it’s already all out there, might as well just give in. They’ve NEVER given that much away in a preview before. And sooooo blatant too. They didn’t even try and hide anything. Here’s what we see and hear at the end of the episode:
-Ali meeting Franks family on his hometown date
-Ali meeting Robertos family on his hometown date
-Ali being freaked out that Kirk’s dad kills deer on his hometown date
-The whole Ali and Frank scandal in Tahiti
-Roberto packing his bags with a voiceover of him saying, “I’m packing my bags and I’m thinking Tahiti is gonna be unbelievably beautiful.”
Then all the negative voiceovers we hear really are setting you up for what’s to come:
-A Roberto voice over of him saying, “I can’t propose to a woman who, no matter how I feel, doesn’t feel 100% about me.”
-An Ali voice over saying, “At this point, I’m afraid that I have wasted my time.” And another one of her saying, “I worry that I could go through all of this and not find someone in the end.”
Very, very bizarre that they gave so much away last night with still five episodes left this season. Like, they didn’t even try to hide the fact that Frank was the one who bolts in Tahiti. And the fact that they basically just ignored Chris during the previews was weird as well. I guess there’s a method to their madness, although I have no clue what it is. My ego says it’s their raising the white flag, admitting defeat, and essentially saying, “We cannot beat Reality Steve, so, here’s the rest of your season.” Ha ha. I mean, put it this way, if there weren’t spoilers that have been out there since May 11th, I guarantee those clips aren’t shown in the previews last night. Guaranteed. So it definitely has a little something to do with it. But why this season and not past seasons? That is the question.
Ok, back tomorrow with your “Bachelor Pad” spoilers. Like I said, a lot of good stuff, I’ve got your eliminations and hookups, and I’m sure there’s more drama than what I have, but I’ve got your basics for you to get you through the next two months waiting in anticipation. Everyone at ABC, you may now start scurrying to find out where your latest leaks came from. Although, you never will. On your mark, get set, GO! All my contact info is at a link at the top of the page if you need to get a hold of me. Talk to you tomorrow before I head to California.
So US Magazine says that in fact Ali did chose someone at the end and is inf act engaged and planning a wedding. I thought Steve said that she chose no one and is single? Hmmmmmmmm…………..
After watching the interview between Jake and Vienna, yes, I can honestly say that Jake most probably DID raise his fist to Vienna. The guy was being ABUSIVE to her on public television. Feel sorry for Vienna…because even as immature as she is, no woman deserves to be treated like that. Unfortunately for Jake, his PR person was probably pulling out his hair during this interview…he can kiss his celebrity good-bye and along with that, any hope of finding a woman who would want to be with someone verbally abusive like that.
I can see why Jake is “over” his relationship with
“the mouth”. No man would ever want to be around a woman that never shuts up. Hopefully ABC is done with those two.
Ali comes off as the biggest twit to hit the Bachelorette series. That fake laugh is a cover up for her lack of security. She will never choose a man……NEVER. She’s too frigid for a real relationship.
David and Donna forever! Hahahahaha!
Ahhh! Jake is so passively aggressive, that it gave me BAD flashbacks of my EX husband!! I know that Vienna has her own issues, but let’s face it-Jake is not the nice guy that we nice girls thought was so wonderful upon first “meeting” him on the Bacholerette.
I think it is time for a Jake and Ali reunion. The girl who can’t make up her mind and the guy who would make it up for her – or throw something at her…
p.s. as per the ladies’ locker room, I find that in the US, the naked ones are often the oldies. But in Europe, it’s often the whole shebang, including the young hotties. I was actually at the Blue Lagoon in Iceland and I was the decidedly prudish American showering in my swimsuit. The second day I was prancing around in my birthday suit and wasn’t it my luck that on that day, all the other ladies were North American folk (fellow prudes) and I was the odd one out. Sigh. Ah well!
I can’t believe anyone would believe the little act of Vienna – especially since she is such a BAD actress. How Jake could stand to spend even one month with her is the big question. Why are guys so harsh on Jake? Hmmmmm. . . .
I enjoying reading your “sarcastic” take on the Bachelorette but why do you hate Roberto so much? From what I’ve seen he seems to be a classy, well educated man. And he’s hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhot. What’s not to like?
Reality Steve, you answered your own question. Of course you know why ABC gave away so much so early. 1. Because if they can’t beat you they must join you. and, 2. Because the spoilers really DO make this fake show so much more fun to watch! Or, were you just phishing for compliments? Either way, I do enjoy your hilarious posts. But, yeah, be nicer to the old folks and other people. You are super funny without the meanness!
Ali is boring. The only time I ever laugh when she is talking to one of HER GUYS is when I laugh AT her. I’ve never heard such boring, insipid conversations.
The reason that Jake didn’t have much to say on the Jake & Vienna Trainwreck was because he couldn’t use “absolutely, “awesome,” or “amazing” as a comeback to any of Vienna’s accusations. Without those three gems, he’s at a loss for words.
The reason Jake was jealous that the gay guy was over was because the guy wasn’t there for him.
If someone doesn’t like your pet, it’s a good indication that you aren’t going to be a good match. You may as well end it when you find that out. Because it won’t get any better.
Would YOU ever fly a plane knowing that Jake was the pilot? Won’t it be funny if he can’t get a job flying or acting?!
And — it took me a while to figure out where I had seen that smug, smarmy little turtle-lipped grin before — George W. Bush! Another big, fat liar.
He and Jake are just as slimy and stupid as each other. Double Douche!