SPOILER UPDATE FOR NEXT WEEK: In the spoilers, you’ll see that I mentioned who won the questionnaire for the girls and who they took on a date. Well, there was a winner for the guys as well. Jesse Beck wins for the guys and, surprise surprise, takes Peyton on his date. Probably has something to do with why we saw them in the previews early in the season in some plane. So just wanted to add that. For whatever reason, I only thought there was one winner. Guess there are two.
A few of you have asked about the thing I wrote during Ali’s season where I said I was wrong about something and that I was going to apologize. That will be happening shortly. Trying to coordinate the interview now, so no, I didn’t forget about it. It’s still going to happen. Hopefully within the next couple of weeks.
One last note: People who I guess aren’t familiar with my type of humor seemed to think after last week’s column that I was telling people Elizabeth is pregnant. No, she’s not. I was just making references to the fact with how much sex those two had, maybe one of those times will end up producing a baby. So when I say they “went go to make babies”, or they “used the fantasy suite to conceive a child”, it’s just a play on words. Ha ha. Didn’t realize quite a few of you took those words so literally. It was a joke.
Any questions, comments, emails, praises, criticisms, feel free to email me at any of the information listed above in the “Contact Me” link. Keep checking back for more updates since we should have some more interviews coming up in the near future. Until then?
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Good summary… One thing that is not mentioned is the scene with Tenley and Kiptyn lying down and it seemed that she was trying to get closer to him emotionally, and he was having nothing to do with the idea. Then in the next scene, he was one of the three guys with Peyton on a date and they played a clip of him saying that he thought he and Peyton had some chance together, or something like that. This all surprised me, because I thought Kip and Tenley were a lock to be a couple on this show, and that it had already started. It’s probably the editing, but could somebody explain what was going on?
I almost started laughing when Wes started singing his song. But Gia acted like she had never heard it before, so must not have watched Jillian’s Bachelorette season.
Kiptyn remarked in that scene that being a “couple” with Tenley puts a target on his back to be voted off the show and therefore to lose the possible $250,000 prize they are all competing for. He already dodged a bullet in a previous rose ceremony coming close to being voted off and so is running scared. He didn’t want to be filmed snuggling with Tenley who wanted to cuddle with him and show him her interest in being a couple with him.
This show is creazy! (sleazy + crazy = creazy). I love it. Worse trash on television, ever!
A few thoughts. I read your blog Steve, and know how much the producers have a say in the outcome of what *really* happens. Even with that, I am going to venture a guess that the women on Bachelor Pad all had to take an IQ test to get on it, and if you scored about an 85 you weren’t invited to be on the show. Of course, there are the exceptions like maybe Peyton, and possibly Gwen, but she is never on camera, so we don’t know for sure.
Does Gia realize that all that alcohol the producers so cunningly provide all contestants is going to make her do stupid things? Giving that rose to Wes, who wasn’t on the chopping block, basically eliminated 4 people who could break up the couples (Craig, Weatherdork, Wes, and herself). Why doesn’t anyone call her out on he crap? She came off looking like a complete moron. After watching her go back on her word, and looking like a complete Scottsdale Club Girl, she should just to go Aruba or someplace to chill out for awhile. And I hope they have an AFTR type show, it would be great to see Craig M. and her in the same room. Anyone notice that after he was eliminated, she went up to him, and Craig totally turned his back on her? Ha!
And big ups to Wes. Dude is on his game. He was my favorite when he was in Jillian’s season, I liked his interview, and his turn in the Pad has been nothing sort of spectacular. His line about only liking the violent kisses after being hammered was classic. His facial expression was flippin great. Wes, you’re the man!
Great blog Steve. I can’t believe your nonsense has gotten as great as it has. Un-freakin-believable.
i have been watching but it’s hard not to gag most of the time. ugh. watching this bachelor pad show
makes me feel sorry for all these utterly naive and clueless young women–they ALL have loose screws-!
gia : you think WES is a “great guy” and “so talented” ????
beyond idiocy !
elizabeth: your behavior is that of a complete trashy whack-o!
natalie: what a whore!
peyton: you’re a silly dope! jesse b is a goof!
nikki : your double chin is most unattractive and you are too old for this show-!
This entry had me laughing so hard I was crying! Seriously, it was hilarious. “Weathergeek, weatherlepruchan, etc” “The 39 year old”
You’re killing me. LOL!
Wes is definitely the voice of reason at this point. It is too bad that no one is listening to him.
Gia…what to say? I loved your comment about her going off somewhere for a while.
I also noticed in some of the clips with Elizabeth giving her reaction to things that her hair looked more blonde and less brassy. Did anyone else notice that? Maybe she got it lightened toward the end of the show so that it would look a little better.
Enjoyed this week’s update..as usual..however..I respectfully agree to disagree with one of your statements..
I actually think-see that this show is very much the same as The Bachelor-Bachelorette..in many ways..men & women looking for some type of relationship and/or sex..money as the added “bonus” however..contestants “choosing” dates..roses given out..Final Rose Ceremonies-Eliminations..fantasy suite cards-etc..just to name a few similarities..
No major deal but just wanted to share my “opinions”…
BTW…no mention of your Dating Contest???…any updates???
P.S..if there are more TEARS on this show..I’m gonna vomit…what a group of whiney “girls”…note I did not say “women”…;)
You slightly misquoted Wes….his quote was that he only likes the violent, wet, sloppy kissing if HE is completely hammered….my husband and I rewound it and listened it to it 3 times because we thought it was so hilarious!!
Also I can’t believe you didn’t comment on Jesse’s comment to Peyton…that he wasn’t “overlooking” her, but that Natalie had just been so “welcoming” that he couldn’t resist. I can’t believe he said that, and I really can’t believe she just nodded and said “Yeah…uh-huh….” What an idiot!
And as much as I think Natalie is kind of a disaster, I admit that her comment that she would kiss everyone for $20 was pretty hilarious….gotta appreciate someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously.
mja- I thought Kiptyn was saying he thought he and Tenley had a chance and pretty much admitted to downplaying their relationship to Peyton to win the rose. I wasn’t sure if he really liked Peyton or just telling her what he thought she wanted to hear. But he definitely left the door open for him and Tenley in his comments.
I am not sure which show I enjoy more but I do know I enjoyed RS’s blogs from bachelor/bachlorette more because for one thing, they were much longer. It seemed he didn’t miss commenting on anything with B/B but with BP there is are things I expected and look forward to hearing his comments on that don’t get mentioned at all.
I have to admit that I record this show and watch it later so I can forward during the really bad scenes. Each week I can’t believe I watched any part of the show but I did. Take the shows hero “Dave” I disliked him as much as Craig M but somehow he has become to head man, UGH!!! Elizabeth is still a witch. Kovac????What is he thinking? I had hopes for Gia, they were on the right track. She told Craig “once I give my work that’s it”. Actually I wanted him gone instead of Kiptyn just because I don’t like him but I would have gone for voting Dave off. Natalie and Peyton did the smart thing by becoming part of a couple, it will keep them in the game awile longer. I enjoy tis blog after the show more than the show, thanks.
Elizabeth is crazy! Yes, she seems to be deeply troubled –seriously–and it has become disturbing to watch her. Gia too is a hot mess! It’s too bad the producers of these shows – which should be about fun, meaningless entertainment – don’t keep contestants with emotional problems off the screen. Instead, they seem to use these problems to make sensational TV and lots of money. What does that say about our society?
i’m loving more your insights than the show itself, steve lolz. anyways i only watch in online, a day late but i am curious:
1. how gia and wes went far after the show? wes was a lucky bastard because gia was the prettiest in that bachelor pad and the nicest one as well.
my other observations were:
1. many in the house think that kiptyn is one of the nicest guys in the game but i find him the best liar in the house and, maybe, it runs in real life as well. it was pretty obvious that guy is a sucker for that $250G’s he will do anything.
2. how in the world kovacs get stuck with someone like elizabeth, she is annoying.
3. the outsiders, except for gia and wes, probably have a total IQ of 50 (especially nikki and peyton). they just are idiots
can’t wait for next week..i can’t wait to hear who has the worst boob job and the dumbest.
i wonder how wes became the jackass of the bachelorette, he wasn’t as bad as i thought. i have never followed the bachelor or bachelorette except for ali’s season. he really played the game well and too bad his fling with gia got cut off prematurely.
Wes…………..by far the best actor from The Bachelorette days, the man has acting skills…MF captures him in the right moment to give the most dramatic effect to the audience……Love him or hate him the man can act and doesn’t look phony doing it, totally effortless…..The only guy with the strategy…..MF should definitely keep him in mind for future drama projects.
Dave…….too much mancode alliances and that is basically how this game has progressed so far…it is definitely not played on strategy, as none except Wes are applying it.
Kiptyn…….is very very sly, and only reason he will stay in the game is because of Tenley who will save him being in with the girls.
Too many kissy kissy former together alliances were formed and that seems to be the common factor leading in this game….
Elizabeth……..conniving witch, but she plays a good part good actress.
Kovach………..not a smart player, he needed to vote Elizabeth out if he remotely thought of playing for $$…..not going to win with her in the game.
Gia…………weak in all aspects.
Nikky……….get a makeover
Ashley, and Gwen look like 2 extras just tossed in to fill the gap.
Natalie…..trampy plays a good role
It’s entertainment enjoy it.
Great blog once again !!!!!!!!
@showsreality i think you called most things right, no wonder they are a bunch of rejects from the bachelor and the bachelorette…except for one!. i may be stupid but i like gia a lot, lolz. she is damn one hot woman.
… are people really up in arms about this show not being like Bachelor/ette? That’s like someone buying electric blue hair dye then complaining it wasn’t more “natural looking”. Pay attention, folks! It’s not SUPPOSED to be anything like the Bachelor/ette! And it’s hilariously great for that very reason!
Well, Steve, congratulations for making me laugh out loud – again!
I thoroughly enjoyed your piece.
But my impression of the whole Krisily and Dave thing was way different.
It seemed obvious to me that however subtle she might have imagined she was being, her meaning, her intentions, could not have been more clear had she summarily relieved him of his swimwear and committed an act of sexual assault.
So I was beyond surprised, I was shocked, to hear you, of all people, describe her as being “indirect.”
I promise you, Dave did not perceive it as indirect. He totally understood exactly what she meant, and while I do not disagree with your assertion that “he wanted to get laid,” that’s so NOT the reason he was all “oh look! let’s go there!” and went running off after Natalie at that particular moment.
To put it very bluntly, Dave was just not feeling Krisily. It wasn’t even about him being “not that into” her. He was so not into her that he didn’t even want, to put it even more bluntly, GET into her. In the literal sense.
Dave was 100% *painfully* aware that her clumsy little mewlings you describe as “beating around the bush,” were in fact, a most direct invitation to – well, I don’t have to spell it out, which is just as well, because these days few young ladies even rock a –
OK. Enough. You get the idea. Just like Dave got Krisily’s idea, and the reason I’m going on about it so are because to me it was the highlight of the show! Sometimes a little actual reality slips through on these shows, and this was one of those times.
I don’t know when, if ever, I have seen anybody being made to feel more genuinely uncomfortable and authentically awkward than poor Dave Good on that chaise lounge!
LOL, I don’t know which one of them I felt sorrier for!
Hilarious blog, it’s one of the only reasons I still watch these shows. The best part was the paragraph describing what all of the guy’s mouths probably tasted like, oh and weatherman’s plethora of nicknames.
I must say this was the first episode where I really thought it was entertaining, the other two were really boring in my opinion.
I have always liked Wes and have met him in person, and Monday’s episode made me like him even more but too bad he doesn’t stick around.
It cracks me up when you make fun of Melissa being a “co-host” because it totally seems like she was a last minute add-on, I am surprised you haven’t pointed it out yet (well, you are a guy) but they are giving her a horrible wardrobe, but don’t get me wrong the girl is gorgeous and has a killer body.
Alright, I have to state the obvious– Elizabeth is CRAZYYYYYYY, she is one of the most conniving, twisted women I have ever seen on, I don’t know if it’s an act since she has played with people’s heads on two different shows now but the girl is insane. She also looks A LOT better as a brunette, but that’s just my opinion.
Caroll and gr8ful.one, thanks for clarifying about Kiptyn and Tenley. Obviously I wasn’t watching closely enough. Actually, I’m watching this for entertainment and might also have been doing something else during the show. Multitasking, I think they call it.
Thanks again, though.
Also, wonder why they are not showing Ashley and the 39-year-old very much. Were they that boring? If they are going to be voted off soon, they might as well get their few moments on camera before that.
Thanks Steve! Once again my morning is a little brighter after reading your latest entry.
I know this show is trash, and completely ridiculous but I can’t stop watching!! LOL It’s a guilty pleasure.
I too feel like many of the other “posters”. Wes has redeemed himself since his previous outing on the B show. However, Tenley hasn’t done herself any favors by spending so much time on television. Yeah, I know the show is edited to “showcase” people in a certain “light” but she comes across as a dizzy bimbo! Her crying gets on my nerves and whereas in the past she came across as nice, now I see her as needy and insecure. Whew! It’s exhausting just watching her each week. I know some of the these folks get home and cringe when they see how they came across on national TV. Well, except for Natalie.
What a tramp, but she’s so honest about it!! LOL
Your right! Don’t believe everything they are saying, remember they are all out to manipulate each other and will say and do anything to reach the final prize.There might be a few hookups on the way but nothing lasting.
If Tenley has a relationship with Kiptyn outside the the BP house she has learned nothing from past relationships. Besides how this showed it edited Kiptyn totally dissed her a few times. No matter if you’re “playing the game” or not if a guy was really into you, he’d be into you no matter what. And why do they keep referring to Tenley and Kiptyn as in a “relationship” if they had their “first kiss” during the contest.
I don’t understand what “in a relationship” means on this show. Really though…Natalie and Dave? This show is the best entertainment, mostly because these people think they have such an upper hand.
I also had looked away and been doing other things while the show was on, and when you’re not directly watching it’s easier to hear how the voice clips are spliced to make sentences that probably didn’t exist. Sooo interesting.
Lastly, I wish they would release a DVD or a show that had all the “down time” at the house in both shows – like the clips they are showing at the end, it’s my favourite part.
-I just realized how much I used quotes….wow.
Did anyone notice Natalie’s and Elizabeth’s smug faces when they found out they didn’t win the Kissing Contest? You could tell they thought they had this thing in the bag and were both really miffed that they weren’t declared the best smooch bandits. That’s gotta hurt in the morning. And the jealousy toward Peyton begins.
I have to say… I have not seen very much written about Peyton. She really grossed me out last night. All this time, she has been quiet and acting shy.. then she wins the kissing contest and it totally went to her head. She went on the date with Kiptyn and Jesse and Kovacs… and she was acting like she was “The Bachelorette” with her little rose ceremony and the explaination of who she was going to give ‘it’ to, and then she did… literally.. she was so gullible the whole evening. I have to add, she is very hard to look at, has she ever heard of an eyebrow pencil? (Girl, you CAN have eyebrows…you don’t have to suffer anymore…it’s not a new invention… learn of it.)
Also, I’m sorry, Elizabeth may be a witch, but that girl can play Kovacs just like a violin, and that is some funny sh** to watch. Natalie may be loose… very loose, but, she seems like a good friend to the other girls….and she IS who she claims to be. Whereas, Peyton just wants to be part of the ‘in’ crowd so badly that she’ll try to steal the other girls’ boyfriends. And she’s a pathetic little eyebrowless, shuffle walking, deep man voiced, yellow dress rose ceremony shoulder sloucher, Al Gore speech/accent voice clone…that I can’t stomach much longer.
Studies demonstrate unequivocally that men are far more interested in short-term casual sex than women. In one now-classic study, 75 percent of undergraduate men approached by an attractive female stranger agreed to have sex with her; NONE of the women approached by an attractive male stranger did. Many men who would not ‘date’ the stranger nonetheless agreed to go back to her apartment & have sex with her. This study was done on a college campus in the late 1980′s so PERHAPS today MORE college age women WOULD agree to have sex with an attractive stranger but I bet not not a HUGE NUMBER of young women today would find this idea appealing. Women wise UP–guys can have sex with females they do not even like or respect! And they WILL! Do young women today ALL enjoy “casual” sex with guys they hardly even know? Or like or respect?
I’m older & married a long time – but when I was young this concept never appealed to me. For me to enjoy the sex, there had to be an emotional component and that takes TIME to develop.
bahurupiya – I completely agree with your take on Dave’s laser focus on Natalie. (or should we call her Naught-a-lee? OK, I realize that’s a bit obvious.)
jazzgirl99 – It iIS utterly fascinating to watch Elizabeth play Black Widow to Kovacs willing fly-in-the-web. But MEOW girl! You laid into Peyton!! I couldn’t tell if I was giggling or horrified at your description.
I’m completely with you Steve; Dave uses that big mouth to nauseating effect when kissing. Why did they vote him best kisser? I think because look at the guys left. Aside from Jesse (who seems to be walking the middle of the road) and Wes, (playing to his-girl for attention), the rest are weenies.
Really, most gals don’t *need* a neanderthal for a boyfriend but given the choice btw pallid, pseudo men and a lunkhead like Dave, gals might go for the lunkhead. He’s simple and when sober, pretty predictable.
Oh my god Jessica1–didn’t you watch DAVE the lunkhead get his assed kicked off Jillian’s season for groping her? Is that the kind of man YOU like? Dave is a total jerk!
These women come off as totally shallow and without any redeeming qualities. And these people have jobs somewhere??!
Elizbeth needs a therapist badly, but there is Kovacs licking her ass. Made me sick to see how easily he is lead by this not attractive woman.
I don’t see the Gia thing at all. She acts like a goofy 10 year old, flipping her hair around like a mop, getting all gooey with Wes???! Her little girl ways spell out a woman who will find t difficult to find a man who will marry here. Not that any of the men are worth writing home about.
All definitely have proven why they were rejects from their respective seasons.
Can you tell I’m not lovin this show at all??? Even the comediac moments are few and far inbetween! I’ll miss Weatherman and RS’s many names for him! Poor guy…just not a whole lot going for him in the sexy department.
Kovacs isn’t that bright to have gotten involved with crazy Eliz in the first place so I’m not surprised he gets led around by the nose by her. Tenley wasn’t lying, she and Kypton don’t have a physical relationship. Shouldn’t she at least get points for not crying this week when Kypton told her they can’t date during the game? ha ha ha aha ha!
adria921 – oh gawd, no no NO NONONOOOO. I don’t want that neanderthal Dave. Blech. I was trying not to get too detailed when I posted earlier. But when watching the guys kiss the blindfolded girls, it seemed to me that he made an impression on them because he was aggressive about the kiss. Each girl almost seemed startled.
He absolutely acts like the lunkhead I called him and yes, he is a jerk. Rereading my earlier post, I said “gals MIGHT go for the lunkhead”. Didn’t mean to suggest that’s a good option. He was an ass in Jillian’s season, you’re right.
I think that’s why he and Natalie are attracted to each other. They’re simple in the way they process the world around them and what is important.
Why do I care?!!? Steve, you’ve pulled me into your sarcastic web!!
This show is so fun to watch. Its my guilty pleasure. I love Gia but she was really annoying me. She put all the blame on Nikki when Craig went home. I thought she was a hypocrite. She could’ve saved him, but she thought she could tell everyone else how to vote when she didn’t keep her word. I’m surprised more people don’t mention this. I guess people are taken by her beauty. it seems she has gotten through life relying on her looks and doesn’t need to use her brain. I’m not saying this to be mean, I was just so annoyed with her. She sets herself up for failure, and then blames others and plays the victim. Grow up Gia.
Steve,
Wow I feel quite guily to admit I am addicted to the train wreck of degeneracy that is the “Bachelor Pad.” I especially love reading your acerbic and highly amusing recaps and analysis.
Like you I liked Tenley on Jake’s season of the bachelor. She came across as (almost sickeningly) sweet, kind, and yes extremely naive but in an endearing way.
The “Bachelor Pad” has made me do a complete 180 and want to cringe/avert my eyes and ears every time she appears on screen! She is whiny, trite, immature, silly, annoying and a little bit crazy in that special way only women know how to be. It really makes me realize how the “Bachelor” producers clearly choose heroes and villains in advance, and edit them accordingly.
As always, thanks for the laughs!
Thank you Steve, for not giving away who goes home next week in the recap. Much MUCH appreciated!!
Did anyone notice that during Elizabeth’s camera interviews (when they cut away from her being kissed by all seven guys), she looked sooooo much better? Her hair didn’t look brassy and her makeup was done much better. She actually looked halfway… dare I say it? Pretty.
I don’t love this show, but I do think you see more of the individual’s true personality in this show than you do in the Bachelor/ette, which is interesting. I have to say that Wes is actually- surprisingly- my favorite person on the show. His comment about the kisses- especially not liking Elizabeth’s “violent” kisses unless he’s hammered was quite funny. We rewound that a couple of times, too! And, I agreed with him on being somewhat grossed out kissing all of these trampy girls who’ve already kissed all of those guys. And, the fact that he’s the only smart one strategizing made me realize he probably has the highest IQ of the group. Too bad no one listens to him and thus he’ll be going home soon, but oh, well. I actually found myself identifying more with him than anyone else on the show. He’s the only one on there that I’d want to go grab a beer with. He’d probably be a lot of fun to hang out with as a friend!
oh my god, are you kidding me? You have absolutely NO idea whether they are ever going to hook up or not…you are an arrogant prick
I also noticed in some videos with Elizabeth gives his reaction to things that her hair was blonder and less brassy. Was told that someone else? Maybe she has it eased towards the end of the show, it would look a little better.
r4
Thanks for the re-cap Steve. Your column is thoroughly enjoyed every week.
Wes is also by-and-large my favourite character on this show, as he was in Jillian’s season. He’s the smartest, hottest, and seemingly most real! However, he greatly underestimated ‘science’ in his analogy that even though Kovacs is his boy, if it were him, Elizabeth and Kovacs left, he’d be out next, saying it was ‘pure science’… that was funny.
In any case, I’ll be sad to see him go… Maybe I’ll take a trip out to Austin one day to see his band play.
I like the Bachelor Pad better than the Bachelor/ette simply because everyone is allowed to be more real… nobody is claiming to want to be engaged after mere weeks of knowing each other, there’s no repetitive jargin, no lenghly boring dates, etc. More or less, everyone seems themselves.
As for Kiptyn and Tenley being fan favorites, that explains why the divorce rate is so high in America… Are they really what young single people want in a partner? I certainly don’t.
since i havent really read it anywhere… can we talk about how annoying Tenley is. im so tired of the goody two-shoes but im just guessing someone has to play the “princess” role here.
GET RID OF – chirpy voice
WALK, RUN BUT STOP – frolicking everywhere
GROW UP BC – being on this show there’s no way she can still pretend to act THAT sheltered
OWN UP – everytime someone disagrees with her she has to shed tears
GET A – thicker skin already
whoop, -andieb- just read your comments and totally agree.
thx again steve for a great write-up.
I agree about Tenley but shouldn’t she at least get points for not crying last week when Kypton told her they can’t date during the game? I thought she would be utterly destroyed by that brush off she got from him when she hopped into his bed.
I did not hit something? What is so hard on what I said? Are you going in and out of consciousness, or is it prescription drugs or see what is not
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It’s not SUPPOSED to be anything like the Bachelor/ette! And it’s hilariously great for that very reason!
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I read your blog Steve, and how many producers to influence the outcome of this really happens. Even with it, I would say that women Bachelor Pad
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