Your episode-by-episode spoilers for “Bachelor Pad 2” are in a link at the top of the page, or or click here. You’ve been warned.
Let me first start out with what I know regarding Ben as the next “Bachelor.” Three weeks ago I was told Ben was already going around telling friends he was the next Bachelor and that he’d be taking off work for a while come September. I guess I could’ve run with that at the time, but, I just wanted to find out a little more than that. That info came from very good sources. And it’s not like it was far fetched to think it could be Ben, I mean, he was the runner up this season. But, I still wanted to hold off until I got something a little more concrete. Then yesterday, Ben was with a camera crew filming on Kearny St. near Coit Tower in San Francisco, and also on Divisadero St, a very popular street loaded with bars and restaurants. All indications are those were being done for his video package as the “Bachelor”, since it had nothing to do with Evolve Wines, nor was he making some sort of “Cream Dream” sequel. It was Ben by himself, talking to the camera, goofing around, also filming some ITM’s. So yeah, Ben is the next “Bachelor” and filming begins at the mansion next month. Ashley was filming her intro video 2-3 weeks before her season started, so this is perfect timing. Hey, this isn’t earth shattering news by any means since a lot of people have assumed it’s him for a while now. Don’t expect an official announcement from ABC anytime soon, since they don’t want the women they cast to know who it is until they arrive at the mansion. Well, here’s your heads up ladies. It’s him. Start preparing what wine joke or story you’re gonna tell out of the limo.
What do I think about Ben as the “Bachelor?” I don’t really care to be honest. Who they cast as the lead has no bearing on me whatsoever. As long as the show is on the air, I’m gonna spoil and make fun of it. That’s what I do. I do not care if Ben finds love, I do not care if he has a connection with one girl over another, nor do I care about anything other spoiling the show, and giving you all the information you need before the first episode airs. From dates, to roses, to contestants, etc. You’ll have it all well before the show premieres in January. Remember, the “Bachelor” films from mid-September through right before Thanksgiving, but doesn’t air until the first week of January. So that’s a whole five weeks before the ending of the show and the first episode. Last season, I posted the spoilers on December 8th for Brad’s season. I expect pretty much the same this time around. I will start releasing some names of the girls who are cast once filming begins.
As for the ending of last night’s show, c’mon people. Lets use our heads here. You’ve all watched TV before. And presumably at some point in your life, you’ve all watched a drama, right? And when you watched that drama, I’m sure they had a few episodes during the season where the episode ended on a cliffhanger. That was no different than what “Bachelor Pad” did last night. The last 40 min or so of the show was a debate on who to send home, Kasey or Jake. They teased it all the way up til the end, and then showed Chris saying Kasey got the final rose, which sends Jake home. But, they did it in a way that the beginning of next week’s episode will start with Jake’s exit. Nothing more, nothing less. All hype, freaked a ton of people out, and that’s pretty much it. I wouldn’t read much into it. It’s a classic TV move that’s been done plenty of times before.
Before we get to the actual “Bachelor Pad” recap, here’s a quick synopsis of “Twitter Pad” last night. Actually not a lot of action last night. These people seemed to take my advice last week under consideration. Consider this your cliff notes version:
-Blake seems to have cooled off on the “lets bash Melissa mercilessly on Twtter.” Guess he might actually have learned something.
-Melissa is telling everyone to remain calm, that she’s not crazy, and this is just a TV show
-Kasey was wearing pink nail polish on his date with Michelle because wanted to do it for Breast Cancer Awareness and he let her
-Erica is enjoying the fact that people see her more humorous side this episode
-Chris Harrison didn’t want Michael to hug him in his speedo
The show immediately jumped in to things with Melissa vs Blake in a battle of “Which side are you on?” What’s funny in this whole matter is after the tongue lashing I gave both of them in last week’s column, they each wrote a blog for the Bachelor’s website talking about the episode, and it certainly looked to me like they took my advice – somewhat. Blake still seems very stubborn in terms of trying to save face in all this, but Melissa seemed to have a little more fun with it. Either way, their fight back when this was filming I still didn’t really understand. How can Blake get bothered by Melissa’s emotions when he readily admits to playing her? Was he expecting something different? Although, he still tried to convince her he wasn’t when he said, “I’m not planning on doing anything with Holly. Ever. I’m not playing anyone.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Does this guy actually believe his own B.S.? Dude, your tongue hasn’t been out of her mouth since you guys left the show. I think the biggest thing I took from their little spat was Melissa saying, “We hooked up all night last night. I made out with him the whole ride home.” So yeah, Blake’s nonsense on Twitter and in his blog basically saying, “I kissed the girl twice and she got so attached to me” is a flat out lie.
Yes, Melissa probably is more sensitive than your average girl and fell for Blake rather quickly, but Blake needs to stop making it seem like she fell for him over two kisses. C’mon. No one buys that. If what Melissa is saying is true, and they made out the whole night and during the whole car ride back home, then yeah, you can see where she probably feels a little more led on than what the show is leading you to believe happened. Even Melissa used my line from last week when she told him to just “be a man” about it. Exactly. Blake was essentially caught with his pants down, Melissa realizes he’s playing her, calls him out on it, then he goes into defensive mode with his “she’s crazy” routine. If you kissed her twice and she fell that hard? Then yes, she’s crazy. But it certainly doesn’t seem like that’s how it went down and not only were you making out the whole car ride home from your date, but according to her blog, you were also verbally telling her things to make her think you were on her side. So yeah, of course you can understand why she might flip out. Granted, it was certainly over the top, and I can’t remember for the life of me any one person crying more in an episode in this show’s history. I mean, Ashley cried for a long time wailing over Bentley. But I’m talking about quantity. We saw Melissa cry on like six different occasions last night in six different scenes. Someone blow her nose for her.
The challenge is about to begin, and Jake realizes he has to win or else he’s basically going home, but not before we get this bit of brilliance dropped on us by Jake. “I’m blessed with mental durability, physical strength, and problem solving.” Good. None of which pertain to synchronized swimming, so to steal a line from Kasey, time to “kick rocks” buddy. Well, strength plays a role in swimming, but that’s about it. Jake’s a good problem solver? Ok, here’s one:
Problem: Your ex-fiance wants nothing to do with you and has made that crystal clear for the last year. Do you:
a) Just give up and leave her alone
b) Send her a card apologizing
c) Show up on a reality TV show, chase her around the house looking for closure you never got, and when she continues to reject you, play the victim card and keep telling everyone BS lines about how you only came on the show for her and nothing else.
Jake, it doesn’t look like you’re much of a problem solver at all. In fact, whatever the opposite of “good problem solver” is, that’s you.
I’m sorry, but the synchronized swimming challenge was stupid. Worst one of the season. They showed some promise with the first two challenges, but this one was just lame. Made even moreso by the fact that it’s a challenge that the winner is decided by someone else, which completely brings into question how legitimate this show can be. I mean, really? Natalie is great friends with Michelle, and Michelle wins. Michael wins for the guys and, whaddya’ know, he was on Dave’s season. I mean, c’mon. Not saying the fix is in, but well, the fix is in. Not saying Michael and Michelle didn’t deserve to win, but really? Outside of Erica who was clearly the one who didn’t do well, it was basically a toss up. I’m just saying, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that a producer pulls Natalie and Dave aside, explains to them storylines going on in the house, and then they announce their challenge winners which does two things: 1) Continues to the Michael/Holly storyline and 2) Begins to explore the Michelle/Graham relationship
Vienna was bummed she didn’t win because she swam in high school and figured she should do well in this competition. But unfortunately, she wasn’t as good of friends with Natalie as Michelle was, so, she didn’t. Jake gets an “A” for effort. He really seemed in his element while performing in the pool. Such grace, such elegance, it’s like we were watching a natural Martin Short in the pool (Please tell me you remember that classic SNL skit). I think Jake has finally found his calling. Jake, just bag your acting aspirations. You can’t act for sh**. And give up the piloting stuff since you do that about once every blue moon. You seem like a hard worker with relentless passion who goes after what he wants (even if it’s constantly being rejected), so I say you go full throttle into trying to make our 2012 Olympic Synchronized Swimming team. Yeah, maybe you’re too late to the party, but it’s worth a shot. After seeing your performance last night, it goes without saying that you’d make a great 3rd alternate to the Olympic team. And just think, even MORE television time for you. If people weren’t sick enough already of your “Bachelorette”, “Bachelor”, “DWTS”, “Drop Dead Divas”, “Bold and the Beautiful”, “Famous Food”, and “Bachelor Pad 2” gigs, I’m sure they’ll be even more thrilled to have to watch you as they root on our country.
We see in this episode that Erica started strategizing and she figured getting with Jake was her best shot. Why did she take to Jake? I’m not sure. Maybe it has something to do with this quote. “Jake could win this competition alone on the fact that he has a big package.” When I heard that, I started shoving my fist down my own throat. Something I’d rather not think about the rest of my life. But after the competition, Erica and Jake start strategizing about going after the power couples. As these two start dissecting their full proof plan that has no chance of failing, Erica wants to make sure he gets the message she’s interested in his package by running her foot up and down his inner thigh. I guess this was good strategy on her part. Jake seems to be taking to her a bit. He’s starting to feel confident. Jake: “Everyone’s looking for a hero because Kasey and Vienna are so overexposed.” Whoa. Did Jake just call someone else in the house overexposed? Now THAT is funny. I’m glad Jake allows the rest of us to live on his planet. I don’t know where else I would go.