“Bachelor” Notes and Thoughts on the Ali & Roberto Breakup

Today’s column was going to be just updating you on a few things “Bachelor” related, mostly in references to my tweets the last few days, talk about Chris Harrison’s new game show “You Deserve It”, plus give a Tuesday “Reality Roundup” seeing that I didn’t do one last week. That was until news broke yesterday of Ali and Roberto’s breakup, which I now feel the need to step in and play therapist for the thousands of you who apparently couldn’t go on with your day yesterday after hearing the news. But first things first, lets get to a couple of things.

-Finally got pictures of Amber Bacon, the Canadian girl eliminated on the first night. They are up now in the “Ben’s Girls” section. You get there by scrolling over “Spoilers” at the top of the page with your cursor, then “The Bachelor”, then “Bachelor Ben Spoilers”, then “Ben’s Girls.” Easy as pie. Well, for some of us it is.

-This past weekend, I received the information I was waiting on, and that was the ending to Ben’s season. But due to reasons I won’t get into, I can’t release it today. I leave tomorrow for California for a nice holiday weekend, where I’m gonna take the niece and nephew to see the Muppets. Or Happy Feet 2. Or Arthur Christmas. It changes everyday with them. If it were my choice, we’d see the Muppets, but they didn’t grow up watching the Muppets, so I think I’m gonna lose the majority vote on that one. I will spoil the end of the season sometime next week. I don’t want to give an exact day because I don’t know when it’ll be yet, but it will be next week.

-When I release the spoilers next week, I’m going to release the ending only. I’ve still got a few holes to fill in the episode-by-episode spoilers, so as I said in my tweet, I will spoil the end of the season first, then later on in December at some point, I will give you the episode-by-episode spoilers.

-And finally, to answer the question I got asked most about this past weekend (well, until yesterday’s news broke) – yes, Craig Robinson and Jackie Gordon are now dating. Which, since Craig and I are apparently brothers from another mother, I guess means I’m somehow, some way, oddly also dating Jackie as well. Sweet.

But lets get to the news of the week which came down yesterday and that’s the breakup of yet another couple from this franchise, as Ali and Roberto released a statement through their rep that they’ve ended their relationship. If you’ve followed the timeline, it shouldn’t be all that shocking. It seemed like it was all backwards. I remember after their season ended, Ali was always being quoted as saying they were so in love and wanted to get married tomorrow. Then it turned into, “Well, we live together, so it’s pretty much like we’re married.” Then it was “We had to postpone our wedding for my surgery” which then turned into “We’ve postponed our wedding plans”. I mean, we could all see the writing on the wall going by that timeline. I still think they moved in together waaaaaay too soon. And of course, I’ll always go back to what I’ve said about this show since Day 1, it’s just a very unnatural way to get engaged to someone. Completely unrealistic. The show has now had 22 seasons in the can, and exactly one couple that got engaged in the finale ended up getting married. That’s not a coincidence.

One thing I’m not gonna do make fun of Ali and Roberto for their breakup, or speculate why it happened. I met them for five minutes once back in April. Seemed real nice, were very cordial in talking to me, and that was that. Have I heard things about their relationship from people? Plenty. But you’ve never heard me bring it up once in this column because that’s not my business to tell. Honestly, sure it sucks to hear they broke up. I’m just never gonna say I’m surprised. And neither should you. Not because of Ali and Roberto per se, I’m talking ANY couple from this show. Why would you be surprised? They’re 1-for-22 in producing marriages. Lets face it, Trista and Ryan are the exception, not the norm. For whatever reason, it worked for them. For 21 other couples, it didn’t. Well, 20 couples because Ashley and JP are still together. I’ll give some thoughts on them a little later.

You might even say, “Well, Jason and Molly got married. Even though he didn’t choose her in the end, they still came from this show.” Here’s why I don’t count Jason and Molly as a “successful” couple from this show. All Jason and Molly did was meet on the show. It’s not like at that “After the Final Rose” when he dumped Melissa, he asked Molly right there to marry him, she said yes, and they got married. If that were to have happened, then yes, I would agree we could count them as successful couple #2 from this show. But Jason and Molly don’t count because they actually had a courtship like normal people do. Yeah, he met her on the show, but at that “After the Final Rose”, all he did was ask for a chance with her. They dated for 10 months and THEN he proposed. So they dated like normal people with no cameras, did the long distance thing, then he proposed and they got married. I guess it’s a matter of semantics but I think you get what I’m saying. I’m talking about going on this show for 6-8 weeks, proposing to someone at the end, then marrying that person later on. It’s happened once with Trista and Ryan.

When you leave this show, you still really don’t know the other person all that much. So even if there is an engagement (like there is pretty much every season), it doesn’t mean anything. No one can possibly know if they want to propose to someone after 6 weeks on a reality show. You might think you like her/him the most, and you might think that they’re the one you want to continue seeing when it’s all over, but, to expect an engagement is just unrealistic. If I start dating someone and I see them and talk to them EVERY DAY for six straight weeks, I still wouldn’t propose at the six week mark. Most people wouldn’t. Now you’re telling me that on this show during six weeks of filming, you’re getting one, maybe two 1-on-1 dates with that person, a couple conversations during group dates, a hometown date, one overnight date, and then you’re supposed to know you want to be engaged to them? Please. This is fantasy land people. The more you come to realize that, the better off you’ll be.

Ali didn’t have a bunch of down time with Roberto, flying with him and the guys to all the different countries, shooting the shit, drinking beers, etc. They are so isolated in that environment for six weeks, that it’s impossible to say at the end, “Ok, this is the person I want to marry.” Sure, you might really be into that person and can’t wait to continue seeing them, but the pressures of having a proposal at the end of this show are so ridiculous on the contestants, which is why they pretty much all do it. No one wants to invest 11 weeks into a TV show only to see at the end, “Hey, I choose you. Let’s date.” No, they want a proposal so all the lonely housewives, whose world revolves around living vicariously through this show, can break down and cry watching a happy proposal at the end. And 21 out of 22 times, that proposal has meant nothing.

9 thoughts on ““Bachelor” Notes and Thoughts on the Ali & Roberto Breakup

  1. I have a feeling Ashley and JP are going to end up the same as Ali and Roberto. She’s already saying they are “too busy” to even think about planning a wedding, but will re-think it in the new year. mmm..doesn’t sound too promising.

  2. My vote would be for the Muppets movie too, Steve! Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. It’s supposed to be sunny and 70′s here in southern CA this weekend. Enjoy!

  3. Hi Steve…

    When “Reality Steve” puts on his “Therapist” hat..that’s the MAIN main reason I read/enjoy your site!!

    You KEEP IT REAL…no BS from you..THX for that..

    HAPPY THANKSGIVING…

  4. Not much to say about this one… except that I agree with RS about the importance of the Ali-Roberto breakup. I’m hoping for Ashley & JP to stay together, but if they don’t? It will just be a normal story coming out of Bachelor/ette land.

  5. Why did she give up a job at FB to go on this show. For the publicity. Never thought that relationship stood a chance.

  6. Wow. There is absolutely nothing wrong with people CARING about the fate of a couple whose happiness they got invested in. It doesn’t make people nuts, it makes them human.

  7. Call me a nut job, but I thought these two just might possibly get to the altar. She seemed absolutely gaga over him. I don`t give Ali that much credit for being a great actress. I bet the bloom fell off for him first in reading their body language. Well, at least they lasted for a good while! Looking forward to Bachelor despite the probable grim result.

  8. Just feel sad for ANY relationship that fails no matter who the participants are. Perhaps Ali’s ambitions got in the way of the husband and babies route and Roberto wanted the simple life. Who knows. I will wish them both happiness in the future.

    I am not looking forward to The Bachelor. Feel the upcoming season will be as lame as the previous 4 or 5.. Ben is just not attractive or interesting, but hey he gets his 15 minutes.

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