I have a question for Dr Reality Steve. I’m getting married in June and want a really awesome gift for my hubby-to-be. Any thoughts? Something sentimental but not lame & boring…
Also, was it just me, or was Jennifer F. really rude for talking about how shocked she was that Ben would want to bring Blakely home to mom ahead of her? Like, wow. I used to like Jennifer until she said that.
Comment: I’d like to just say I’m really bothered by the fact that this email broke the string of emails sent by people in college or younger. Boooooooooooooooo. Or maybe this person is in college ready to get married, but didn’t specify? Whatever the case, the ones in college or high school seem to like to identify how old they are, so when someone doesn’t, I just assume they’re older.
Make him a scrapbook. Always seems to work wonders on the “Bachelor” or “Bachelorette.” Kidding. Hmmmmm, since I’ve never been married, I’ve never really given much thought to what you should get someone or what I would want to receive as a wedding gift outside of well, you know, mouth love on our wedding night.
I’d go for something that you know he likes but doesn’t have. Or a different version or upgrade of something. Something that says you thought a little outside-the-box for it, but didn’t go overboard. As an example, if he’s a golfer, I’d get him a round at a really nice course that he’s never played before. Something along those lines. Or if you want your gift to include you, then do a bed in breakfast, or some relaxing spa day. I’d take a relaxing spa day any time. I’m a big fan of those. Of course, I’d also take playing a round at a nice course as well. I’m not sure. What’s the etiquette? Is the wedding gift you give your significant other supposed to be something you both can enjoy, or it’s a separate gift for each person for them to use on their own that has nothing to do with you as a couple, or does it have to be wedding related? I have no idea.
Dr. Reality Steve,
Hypothetical situation: You and I are dating and you go out with Brad for drinks one night. You say you’ll be home around 10 and you don’t get home til 11. When you walk in the door I have 2 options, a) be mad that you’re late, didn’t call, and are sh–faced, b) Ask if you had a good time and go back to doing whatever I was doing before you staggered in. Why do people always choose option a? If I repeatedly chose A, next time you are out with Brad and you lose track of time, you’re going to look at your watch and realize that I’m going to scream at you and withhold sex so you’re going to have a few more drinks and hope that you pass out with your eyes open so I think you’re awake while I scream at you and accuse you of cheating on me with Brad. Really, why don’t people think about how their reaction to one situation will impact future situations?
Comment: Please don’t yell at me. It was only drinks with Brad. I’m sorry. I’ll get home earlier next time.
I think if it happens once, you let it go. Could be a myriad of things that caused someone to be an hour late. But if it’s a continuous patters, you have every right to kick him in the nuts when he walks through the door because something is up. I’ve never understood if someone is going to be late, especially if it’s over an hour, to not just check in with a text and say so. It’s why texting was invented. Nowadays, it’s pretty impossible not to get a hold of someone you want to get a hold of. Everyone has a cell phone and everyone texts. It’s not that hard. If your man does this a lot, you need to confront him on it cuz something ain’t right. But a one time occurrence? Eh. Might not be a big deal.
Do you ever keep in contact with the people who send the Dr. Steve emails? I would love to hear what happened with the girl who washed her boyfriend’s flash drive….
Comment: No, I don’t and I probably should. I delete all the emails once the Thursday column goes up, so, if anyone has sent in a past “Dr. Reality Steve” email and wants to give an update on their situation, by all means, email me. I am kinda curious to know what happened with the woman who washed the flash drive only to find a bunch of naked pictures on it. That couldn’t have been a fun conversation to have.
Dear Dr. Reality Steve,
First, I wanted to say something about the WTA. Though I can understand where Ben is coming from when he told Emily that he would have liked her to focus only on their relationship, I think that’s one of the things that’s wrong with the people on this show. In life, you constantly have outside things that affect your relationship and how you handle them as a couple is what makes or breaks it. You can’t constantly live in a bubble where it’s just the two of you…but whatever. Until they figure that out, all of those relationships are going to be doomed.
Anyways, this is my question:
I am a huge sports fan. I don’t just watch for the cute guys, keep up with daily news and the offseason and can hold my own in most pro-sports conversations. My problem is that every time I meet a guy and he finds out I’m a sports fan, that’s ALL he wants to talk about. Though I try to steer the conversation in other directions and talk about books and music and art, they ALWAYS bring it back to sports. And ultimately, I end up as one of their buddies, another person they can talk about football or hockey with. A lot of the time they end up asking me to hook them up with one of my friends (most of which don’t know what a touchdown is).
Some of the advice I’ve been given is to pretend that I have no interest in sports or not let on about how big of a fan I am. However, I’m not willing to “dumb” myself down in order to get a guy’s interest. Since you are a sports fan, I figured I’d get your take on it. If you find yourself in conversation with a girl who’s a sports fan, how can she get you to talk about something else so you get to know her other interests?
By the way, I am not a tom-boy by any means. I get dressed up, wear heels, do my hair, make-up, etc. Basically my only “non-feminine” quality is being a sports fan….and the fact that it takes me less than five hours to get ready for an evening out
Any insight would be appreciated.
Comment: Any time I’ve ever been interested in someone that’s a sports fan, I just consider it a bonus because, lets face it, most women aren’t into it as much as men. Just like we don’t give a sh** about “Sex in the City” or your stupid “Twilight” obsession. If I’m with someone who’s also a sports fan, it’d bother the crap out of me if that’s what our conversations revolved around. I’d get tired of that so quickly that I’d probably lose interest. So apparently these guys are different than me in that aspect. Sure, we can talk about it on occasion, but it would never dominate the conversation. I’d poke my eyes out. This was especially the case when I was in sport-talk radio. My job revolved around sports every single day. The last thing I wanted to do at the end of my day was talk MORE sports. There’s only so much you can say before it becomes redundant.
If you’re not the tomboy type wearing jerseys, pounding beers, and screaming at the TV, I don’t know why guys keep wanting to talk sports with you. I certainly wouldn’t. And if they’re only talking sports, and not asking other questions, then unfortunately, they don’t seem to care to know any more about you, which means they probably aren’t for you anyway. Sports is a good ice breaker if you’re both into it or have favorite teams, but if that’s all he’s talking about, move on to the next guy. That guy is either too dim witted to talk about anything else, or, he’s just looking to get some ass. If he’s interested, he’ll talk and ask you about other stuff.
Hi Dr. Reality Steve,
I’m dating this guy that is obsessed with sports. Well I love sports too and I would have thought that this is something he would like about me, but everytime I’ve asked him to hang out and watch a basketball game or whatever, he makes up an excuse about how he is going to “watch it with the guys.” What gives? (And before you ask, no, I’m not one of those girls that asks 50 million questions during the game because they don’t understand the rules or won’t stop talking and annoys the crap out of him. I’ve played various sports and grew up watching with my dad and uncles, so I know a fair amount and prefer to just sit in peace and drink a beer.)
Thanks for your insight and I really enjoy your blog.
Comment: Ok, you’re guy is just a douche then. You mean, he’ll NEVER watch with you? Sure, us guys do want to watch sports with other guys, but what if you’re the only girl in the group. Probably wouldn’t be a good time for you to hang out with him and his Neanderthal friends watching games. But if he never asks you to join, or bothers to stay home on occasion and watch it with you, well, that’s just rude. I’d just ask him, “What’s wrong with watching games with me? You never know, maybe one of these times I’ll surprise you and you can have the best of both worlds in the comforts of your own home.” Bow-chicka-bow-bow.
If he turns that down, leave his ass.
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