The Bachelor Ben Finale Recap Including Corrections on Two of Emily’s Guys, Bentley Rumors, My Trip This Weekend & How You Can See Emily’s Date on Friday

A lot of news and notes to get to before I give my thoughts on the season. Once again, not a regular recap, but I will touch on some things we saw during the episode. Well boy am I glad that’s finally over. Four months of sitting back and waiting for last night to happen. Obviously I can only say so much when I give spoilers. Pictures, skinny dipping in Puerto Rico, obvious attraction, saying they were still engaged, the ATFR taping, all sorts of inside information I relayed – none of that can really ever vindicate me like the finale actually can. It’s a tough four months to sit and have people question stuff that you know to be 1000% right, but hey, last night was worth it. It’s one thing if I took a guess on Dec. 14th saying it was Courtney, crossed my fingers, and HOPED all season I was right. I don’t guess or predict. People asked if I was nervous last night watching the show. Not at all. I knew the whole time, so what was there to worry about? It’s just funny how all season how ABC tries with promos to throw people off or to make it seem like the ending is something wacky and crazy and totally over-the-top, when in reality, it was basically the same as it is EVERY season (outside of Brad 1.0) – one person gets dumped, one person gets chosen. All the bells and whistles that the show threw at you, tabloids reported, websites reporting I was wrong blah blah blah…once again, NONE of it ended up being true. Not one. Glad I could be of service this season, and have been at work on Emily’s season since the end of January.

With that said however, I have to retract a couple things I reported yesterday. If you missed yesterday’s post, I released names, pics, and bios for five of the 10 guys I know about who are confirmed for Emily’s season. Uhhh, might want to subtract two of them. Joel Gilson and Tony DeSarro are NOT on Emily’s season. I was given information on Joel had made final casting, then info that led me to believe he had made the final cut. I was wrong. Simple as that. Oops. As for Tony, apparently the guy had a lot of time on his hands and played a joke on people on his facebook page. Oh well. What’s funny is that I guarantee you Joel got a bunch of friend requests on Facebook yesterday from hot chicks, so, it couldn’t have been all that bad for him, right? You’re welcome, Joel. Tony certainly did as evidenced by what he wrote on his FB wall today. So, if you don’t want to scroll down to the next post and read, no worries, I’m going to repost her guys on the next page and add two more that I have since, well, figured I’d give you another two to make up for the Joel and Tony mistakes. Jumped the gun on those. Sorry. I will be much more careful about releasing names going forward so as I don’t make any more mistakes. Probably going to be a bit slower in releasing the names.

Speaking of Emily’s dates, if you saw yesterday’s tweet, you’ll see that I posted a link to how people of Charlotte could be part of her date this Friday. Here it is in case you missed it:

NC Music Factory – Friday Night, March 16th

I’ve already been told that trying to secure a table is next to impossible once I tweeted that out yesterday. Emily and whoever her date is will be having dinner at Osso Restaurant and Lounge starting at 9:00. The restaurant will be closed while Emily and her date are there. Once they’re done, they are going out on the patio to see a concert put on by one her favorite country bands, Gloriana, performing their single “(Kissed You) Good Night.” That’s where the crowd will be hanging out and joining in, so I’m guessing there will be pictures and info being tweeted that night. If I’m remotely sober, I will try and tweet out any info I hear about that night, or maybe Saturday morning. Yes, even though I’m on vacation, this is the part of the year where it’s almost like I’m on call, so I’ll fill people in once I can. Here are pictures of the venue:


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Yes, the travels of Reality Steve will have me out of town this weekend. I figured I’d give myself a little vacation this weekend now that the season is over (see, I told you I was gonna do more traveling), and I am headed to New York. Looking forward to seeing family and friends, watching some March Madness, and drinking – quite a bit. It’s been a while since I had a good weekend of drinking. Time to let loose. Not really into parades so don’t think I’ll be in streets cheering on some green floats in Midtown, but, I will have green beer somewhere. Might as well. I have a feeling this weekend could end up being a blur. Got a lot of stuff to do, people to see, and basketball to watch. Very excited.

48 thoughts on “The Bachelor Ben Finale Recap Including Corrections on Two of Emily’s Guys, Bentley Rumors, My Trip This Weekend & How You Can See Emily’s Date on Friday

  1. Thanks for not using up 5 pages to pat youself on the back again. Yes, we’ve been riding your ass pretty hard, and were expecting more of the same today. But you only mentioned you were right once or twice and that was it.

    Next thing to work on is trying to not be such an ass to people.

  2. Thank you for all the updates, I really enjoy your site! Screw everyone with negativity, they can go somewhere else! I almost shed a tear about your story of Maddie. I love how she found you and so happy she has a great life! Enjoy NYC! Can’t wait for the next round with Emily!

  3. I did tear up at your story about seeing Maddie for the first time! Nice to see you have a softer side!
    Great job, Steve, on another successful (if mind-numbing season). I will continue to be a loyal reader, no matter what all the haters say.
    When all is said and done, I think Ben and Courtney are perfect for each other and I hope they will be happy together for as long as it lasts. Life is too short to wish them ill. They seem to have a better chance at lasting than if he had picked any of the others.

  4. Thank goodness for Reality Steve…this site was what got me thru this season.
    I do hope Ben and Courtney the best though, they deserve happiness just like anyone else.

  5. I have thought from all you continue to say about yourself you are smarter than this. But your comments about Ben’s mother and sister knowing who he had chosen when talking with him in Switzerland have a flaw. I know you feel everyone reads your blogs, including the two of them. However, if this was all filmed prior to the November filming date, how could they have known about your blog which didnt appear till later??

    Please clear this up for me since I am not as intellligent as you.

  6. Nobody, go away please. Do us all a favour and don’t come back. Your negative post is not welcome here.

  7. About Ben’s mother and sister in Switzerland, and what they knew. What I’ve been wondering, is how did they know that Courtney did not get along with the other women in the house? When Ben’s sister asked Lindzi her opinion of Courtney, she indicated that she knew that Courtney was not popular with the others. I was baffled as to how she would have known that in mid-November when this was filmed.

  8. Did any of you see how crazy Ashley was acting during their interview? She was acting like a mouse on crack!

  9. Regarding Lindzi appearing on Live with Kelly, I loved how Kelly kept referring to Lindzi as “the luckiest girl in the world!” :-)

  10. I just love your website! You are so funny and you say things that a lot of people would love to say but wouldn’t have the nerve to! Thanks for all the laughs and I really look forward to reading about Emily’s “journey”….Question…..do you have any idea why Linzi wasn’t included in after the final rose?

  11. @ Dianne – strange, but I don’t recall seeing your nomination as queen of the board. Guess that means you have no say on who can post here and who can’t.

  12. I love Ellen and although I don’t watch her show regularly, I think of her as a smart, funny, grounded woman….so I would support her views on Courtney and don’t consider myself a “lemming” as you say.

    I never saw in any tabloid, internet report, etc. that there was ever any question that Ben was picking Courtney. Naysayers? Never saw or read them. Perhaps I missed something.

    I have to say this about Courtney….she is without a doubt a woman without true feelings or depth….but she looked beautiful last night on the ATFR show.

    Good luck to Ben. His tears were genuine last night and he is headed for hurt. It’s inevitable.

  13. Quoting Steve”
    “Of course whoever agrees to go on this show opens themselves up to whatever criticism they get because that’s what you’re signing up for”
    Same rule applies to writing a blog and putting it out there for people to read.

  14. @sksksk

    Ashley is like a “mouse on crack” and I love her. She’s a happy person and JP is a great catch.

  15. HOW DO WE LET THE Bachelorette franchise know that many of us would like Emily O’Brien as the next-next bachelorette?

  16. I think Steve needs a refresher on how The Bachelor works.

    First they film the show. Per Steve, this season filming ended prior to Thanksgiving 2011.
    Then, they air the show. This started in January 2012.

    So, with those simple facts out of the way, how in the hell could have Ben’s mom and sister known he had already picked Courtney, and been viewing up on dates??? Ya know, the dates not shown on TV until MONTHS after their trip to Swtizerland? Oops?

    BLOG FAIL.

    As for Ben & the model, good luck to them. The odds are against them.

  17. @bigfatwoman, I totally agree with you – Courtney’s crazy, but she looked stunning last night. I was studying her eye makeup so I could attempt to re-create it on myself! =)

    Steve, congratulations on another completed season and Happy 4th Anniversary to you and Maddie! Loved your adoption story – so sweet!! You’re both lucky to have each other!

  18. Great blog Steve. Question: In one of Courtney’s interviews where she tears up, there was that same wrought-iron type background used previously. She was not wearing earrings as she was on her date, though she was wearing the same clothes. What is your opinion about the show taping interviews after filming has concluded? That really annoys me. It seems so fake.

  19. bigfatwoman, I agree that there is confusion as to who all these naysayers are. I haven’t seen anyone who has doubted or questioned Steve on the fact that Ben was going to choose Courtney. I wonder if some of the commenters here (& Steve himself) think that the people commenting on his self congratulations & long winded writing were questioning his credibility also. I, for one, never doubted he was right & haven’t seen anyone else who did either. Maybe all these naysayers were emailing him privately? Or maybe they don’t exist.

  20. All I’ve been wanting to say since I watched ATFR last night was how awful of an actress Courtney is. You could visually see her trying SO hard to create tears. Even when Ben was crying, you could see her practically tell herself, “Ben’s crying for real, so I have to try and cry with him, too!” I don’t believe she is genuine for one second.

    I also got really pissed off when it turned into the “Blame Ben” show. The hatred that developed amongst fans was for Courtney, not Ben. People were pissed that Ben was falling for Courtney’s games and her treatment towards the other women. If Ben pulled away from Courtney because he was seeing her true colors and the repercussions of her actions, that’s not for him to apologize for! He doesn’t owe Courtney a single thing! She felt abandoned? What about Ben feeling duped?

  21. Jef with one F is from my hometown! And went to my college! I really hope he’s the crazy one this season. It seems like every season there’s a crazy person from Utah. Michelle Money, Bentley, and then Monica the tampon girl.

  22. I’d love to see you as The Bachelor. Think they’d buy it? Would you do it?

  23. Thanks for the recap, Steve. Hope you enjoy your vacation time.. I bet you are laughing all the way to the bank as you should!

    I couldn’t even watch the Lindzi/Ben parts without cringing. But I don’t blame Ben, in that regard, if someone is into someone than it’s really hard to pretend to be into others and that is where the show lets viewers down — trying to make everyone believe they are in love with several people. It’s just not reality.

    I saw another softer side of Ben last night. He is really going to get hurt. As someone wrote, Courtney is trying to fake tears — she is heartless. She thinks if she wipes at her eyes, tears will come. It’s all a big show and she’s still the star.

    The worst part of the night was the proposal. When Ben asked Courtney and put the ring on her finger, that is all she was excited about, not being with Ben but having this rock that, as she put it, “was heavy on her finger.” She kept admiring it every time they hugged. In fact, it seemed like the only reason she kept hugging him was to admire her rock. She seems very covetous like she was during the whole show. It’s all about winning for her.

  24. DING DONG! HELLO!??
    Lindzi was just that not into Scruffy, and why should she be? When she & others saw his attention focused on Courtney entirely? I wondered the entire season WHY they had NO “ITM’s” of Lindz trashing the other girls? No dirt, not even her on the Wicked Witch. How can that be? ALL on the editing floor?
    No, Lindz had a CAMPAIGN the entire time to be The Bachelorette! She had her strategy, just like the rest.

    Of course, they didn’t interview her on the Hot Seat; she was going to be honest and they knew it… no heartbreak, no sad face, no.. “When did you know it wasn’t me?”
    The producers only want the F2 to come on to show more adoration for the Star.. it buttresses the fairytale of “one wins, one loses” in the end.
    SNOOZE.
    Hopefully, it’s the last we see of Lindz, but she likely also made a Faustian deal w producers so as to appear on BP3!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    FYI – the PTB definitely have a reason for opening up BP3 to newbies – and it’s either to start promos earlier – or to toss in the ringers they have already picked out. Duh.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    This explains Courtney’s SEDUCTION technique best: How A Borderline Personality Disorder Love Relationship Develops: http://www.bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a101.htm
    Poor Ben. Julia Flajnik, if you are reading this, get him help ASAP… the last 4 months were nothing compared to the next 4 months of Hell.

  25. Steve never said that Bens Mom and Sister knew who the final one was, he said they would have read his blog and known some of the stuff – like some of the locations they went to, some of the rose ceremony results.

    As to how they knew to ask about Courtney not getting along with the girls, the producers probably fed them that info, I wouldn’t be surprised about that at all.

  26. Oh man! RS – I truly appreciate your inside scoop and am amazed by how you’re so into yourself. Thanks for the entertainment, the spoilers and the rest! Keep up the good work!

  27. Was Chantal O’brien at the ATFR show for her season? I feel like there was something didn’t participate in but can’t remember the details.

    Did anyone notice that when Ben told Linzi that he’s in love with someone else, she said “If it doesn’t work out, call me.”? Awkward ending to an awkward relationship.

  28. Ben is obviously very much in love with Courtney. I admire his easy going manner, his openness, and his willingness to give the benefit of a doubt to others. He’s a trusting, kind person with a big heart. I was sorry to hear how hard it’s been on Ben – his emotion was real and showed he has courage.

    I was disturbed by the After The Rose program, not to mention all the previous episodes.

    I recognized in Courtney a pattern of behavior that; unfortunately, I know all too well.

    Empathetic people tend to give the benefit of a doubt when someone they care deeply about communicates that they are sorry for words or actions that has hurt them. Often these actions can be the result of fear or a lack of, self or other, awareness.

    I don’t think Courtney lacks self or other awareness, on the contrary. It was evident that she is a competitive person and they are often experts at sizing up their opponents strengths/weaknesses and formulating a strategy with those in mind.

    Courtney does not like NOT being the center of attention; be it positive or negative.

    It’s impossible for anyone to judge someone else’s heart or intentions, all we can “see” is behavior patterns and they speak volumes.

    A pattern of behavior I witnessed with Courtney is a tendency to lie about her actions and then when questioned or confronted, she deflects the blame for her lies and actions onto a vulnerability in herself or onto someone else; including the person she’s just lied too or hurt.

    Ben had no reason to apologize to her for breaking it off with her. She lied to him over and over again as well as his Mother and Sister and blamed others for her actions. Even when she attempted to apologize both times she was in the hot seat (before the finally and the AFTR) she used tentative terms like “Maybe I could have”. She is skilled in turning things around and making them about her.

    Then there is the issue of her showing absolutely no emotion. She pretends to cry, but there are no tears or welling, just a supposedly choking up while her hand is covering her mouth.

    Although she is very attractive, her face lacks any emotion and remains dead pan the majority of the time. I started to wonder, her being a model, if she’d had botox around the mouth and eyes to maintain that type of controlled look – I’m not trying to be cruel, I seriously wondered about that.

    I could go on and cite many specific behaviors and forms of manipulation, but I don’t think it necessary – I’m sure others have pointed these out already.

    If she is the type of person who is competitive, lacks empathy for others, yet has lots for herself and likes to play cat and mouse with people, Ben needs to watch out for a pattern of catching her lying or doing/saying something hurtful and then her denying it and/or making excuses, blaming others, and then making others feel bad about confronting her or questioning her behavior, motives and/or intentions. If Ben allow this, he will begin to no longer trust his own judgement or even what he knows he heard or seen, partly because he won’t want to believe it’s true and/or it simply takes to much energy out of him.

    Further, if the above goes on for an extended period, it will lead to an addiction relationship and not a healthy relationship. Her taking the power, and Ben trying to maintain some power and still keep her. This can be occur swiftly if both of them are competitive.

    It looks something like this. She will be very well behaved, charming, seductive and loving for a few to several months in between, being careful not to get caught in any lies or being hurtful towards Ben, his family or his friends. Then she will become bored or not able to keep it up and she’ll hurt him again.

    If she thinks Ben is about to leave, she’ll probably lay on the guilt, seduction and charm to see if she can still win while ensure she still has the bulk of the power in the relationship.

    Ben may find himself being the one who seems to be always doing the apologizing in the relationship (a red manipulation flag). She may threaten to leave before Ben gets a chance to leave- she’ll see it coming (it may even be that she planned such a power move) and If necessary, she may even play Ben against his mom and sister or visa verse; depending on whether or not she thinks Ben is really serious, this time, about ending it.

    Other manipulative tactics to win may include:discovering she’s pregnant and/or perhaps attempt to, innocently of course, make Ben jealous and feel threatened by another male, perhaps a friend of Ben’s or a friend of a family member.

    Ben needs to be careful, trust his instincts and that still small, yet nagging voice.

    I hope I am wrong or just projecting what I experienced and that Ben ends up being very happy with Courtney – we all want and need love.

    They should do couples counseling – definitely before getting married if that’s what they end up planning. If she makes excuses not to go or wants to see a male counselor only – those are flags. Ben needs to keep his eyes wide open, his trust was betrayed and she needs to prove she’s worthy of it again.

    Did anyone else notice that Courtney touched her hair every 5 – 8 seconds? Yes, I did end up counting. The only exception was when she was saying unkind things to others, so it wasn’t a habit or a tic necessarily.

  29. Am I the only one that finds it hilarious that tons of people on here have diagnosed Courtney with mental disorders without ever having met her and seeing MAYBE 10 hours of highly edited footage of her on TV. Do you guys not understand the point that Steve hammers on EVERY week in his columns. The show is edited; it’s fake. You don’t get to see the girls’ true personalities from the show.

    I think it’s time for eveyone to stop searching mental health sites so they can diagnose someone they don’t know while holding no medical degrees. It’s not a good look. Makes you seem judgemental, petty, catty, and pressed.

  30. @crossedmymind –

    The way Courtney keeps touching her hair is most likely a sign when she is lying about something. She didn’t seem to do it as much during the episodes. It was only when she was being put on the spot. Nervous reaction maybe? Its possible, but I would guess it means she is lying.

  31. Cndgirl wrote:
    “As to how they [Ben's mother and sister] knew to ask about Courtney not getting along with the girls, the producers probably fed them that info, I wouldn’t be surprised about that at all.”

    I wouldn’t be surprised, either. And now that I think about it, that seems just about the only way they could have known.

    To My3girls — Yes, Chantal was on the ATFR show on Brad’s season. I thought I remembered that she was, but went back to look at Steve’s recap to make sure. Maybe it’s just the fact that she was already involved with somebody else by that time that you’re remembering? So she hasn’t been involved with any post-Bachelor events and activities.

  32. Steve Thank you for writing this season final with the same wit that helped bring people back to your site time and again. You are much funnier when writing about runaway zits and THO’s than when tooting your own horn. I watched the final with my poor naive Mother. I told her that the ending and alleged “breakup” was a put on. If the safehouse meetings are handled through ABC, then who is to say the Bachelor franchise didn’t advise Ben to take a couple of weeks to himself to “clear his head”. Meanwhile feeding Courtney with doubt that her actions may have cost her the relationship which is why she came back to the WTA. I said that I did NOT believe for ONE minute these two were ever broke up. It was an effort to make all of this nonsense more digestable. By the end, even my Mother had softened to Courtney. It is all RIDICULOUS. As a Graduate Degree Nursing student, this is my frivolous TV, and I like to banter about the lunacy of it at work. Trust me the hospitals aren’t much different or better. @Lisa e….Borderline personality disorder ……..Courtney’s behaviors could be used in educational videos for this disorder. Clearly you have a BP in your life to have recognized this (I do too). EXCELLENT CALL! @ joancallamezzo IF you have ever experienced a Borderline in your daily life, you would recognize that not even The Bachelor franchise could produce or edit good enough to create the characteristics of this SERIOUS personality disorder. Courtney’s behaviors are the epitome of a Borderline. EVERY woman in that house except for Casey (who was a Courtney puppet) wasn’t making up stories.
    It makes ZERO difference in my world, but Lisa E nailed it and I truly doubt she scoured the internet to do so.
    Linzi handled the situation well, and said it best on GMA “Ben has bigger problems to worry about.”
    Thanks again Steve! Happy Anniversary to you and Maddie! Safe travels……..

  33. When the camera first scanned the audience during ATFR I thought you had snuck in… there was a she-man looking woman with blonde curly hair that looked like a man in disguise. I thought for sure Reality Steve was in the house!!! Did anyone else see it? haha

  34. I can only watch this show in bits and pieces, so I didn’t see all of the supposedly horrible things Courtney was doing to the other women. Yes she was catty, but in reality I think she thinks that sort of behavior is funny. I’m not totally against her in that regard. Courtney is clearly an introvert, so people aren’t used to seeing people like that on reality TV shows like this. Contrast her with what we saw of Lindzi on Jimmy Kimmell, who’s looking to step into the spotlight–I actually think she had to fake her relationship with Ben more than the other way around.

    I’ve known girls like Courtney–intelligent, hard to read, and have a really difficult time connecting with anyone on any level. I don’t see her ending up with Ben. Hopefully Ellen can restore her image, but she’s not going to be a likeable person to 90% of America because she’s just..different.

  35. tammyindiana – Just have to quickly respond to your succinct and sharp post:
    YES, Courtney could be used as an educational/instructional video for BPD.
    YES, true that no amount of producer edit could change her inherent patterns. Clearly, they too, were fascinated, but I wager there is a LOT they left on the edit floor.
    YOU ARE RIGHT–I did not have to scour the internet, that article is one of many that I disseminate when I see men that I care about dissolve into unrecognizable floods of tears and confused twisted pain. No one manipulates like a BPD woman. Ben does not deserve that. When I saw the clip of his anguished twisted crying face on the ATFR, I thought one more post was overdue.
    UNTIL we share information and dialogue on this rather common illness (2% of the population!), there will never be enough help for the afflicted, support for the innocent victims of the raging BPD, or release of any stigmas. I certainly feel no sense of slander towards Courtney nor any others with this illness. *They did not choose to have a Personality Disorder.* They do need our help and understanding.
    I wonder if those who jump on the posters who have deftly pointed out BPD from the earliest days have any empathy at all for what Ben – and Courtney – are dealing with..? In public, no less! We need share info and remove the shame.
    Many of us hope to see sympathy for “Mental Illness” be in the same realm of understanding as “Alcoholism” has enjoyed in the last generation…

  36. Thanks Steve for making yet another Bachelor season fun!! I am so glad I found your site and am no longer one of the crazy people who thinks reality tv is real. Looking forward to next season…well, maybe just your comments.
    Congratulation on your 4 year anniversary with Maddie. Your story is very beautiful.

  37. Ben and Courtney have given us their pound of flesh, and more. So, for goodness sake let’s give them some peace and lack of judgment to figure out what’s next for each of them and as a couple.

  38. Funny you can’t admit you were wrong and they indeed were broken up!! I remember when you tweeted to come to your live event to hear the official status of Courtney and ben, and you ended up being SO vague saying they are together, but having issues. Well, duh, any idiot could say that and hope it was true…but nope! Wrong. You lied to get viewers! WHY would they ever pretend to be broken up??? That makes no sense. It would make the show look like even more of a joke.

  39. Anyone know the answer to this? If they weren’t broken up, why didn’t she still have the ring on?

  40. I think you guys are missing the point.

    Instead of arguing over whether or not Steve “deserves” your donation, you should just ask yourself how you’d feel if the site went down. I, personally, would be bummed if the recaps went away. They make the show fun. So, I’ll donate for that reason alone.

    Yes, Steve can be arrogant at times, but I’m not dating the dude so it doesn’t bother me. Lighten up, people. Donate if you want to continue reading the site. Don’t donate if you want to see it go away. It’s that simple.

  41. @Lisa e…Thanking YOU for providing anyone who was paying attention with an opportunity to widen their awareness to the attention mental disorders are deserving of. If more people were aware the less crazy the world may actually seem. @ addicted2years THO = titty hard on or erect nipples common when cold! @ Kate Hudson I don’t know with certainty but I don’t believe BACHELOR franchise allows the ring to be worn during the period of time the show is airing. After all, NO ONE is supposed to know of the engagement until the finale. I’m sure a whopping diamond like that is kept securely in ABC’S hands until the ATFR taping where it would be slipped back into place uneventfully and out of the view of cameras. In this case, making a public gesture of Chris pulling it from his pocket and confronting Ben with “what do you want to do with this?” Again, made the “break up” and a “reconciliation” more digestable for America.

  42. I saw Ben out in San Francisco last weekend, with a couple guys and a girl. He had his arm around the girl’s waist while standing around on the sidewalk in front of a restaurant. It most definitely was not Courtney…

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