-We start off with Emily arriving in Prague and giving the proverbial, “This city is so romantic” line. Has any city this show has ever chosen NOT been romantic? Has any lead ever arrived in a city and said, “Cool place. I like the scenery. Meh, it’s all right. I’d rather be in Turks and Caicos though.” No, and they never will. Once again, along with litany of things they are pretty much supposed to say every season, “This city is so romantic” is definitely at the top. The guys meet up with Chris who has some news that’ll blow their heads off! OMG! It’s not “Hey, there’s two 1-on-1 dates a group date” speech time. Chris informs the boys that there will be three 1-on-1 dates and a group date, and that roses will not be up for grabs on the 1-on-1′s because, well, then we’d already know who’d have the four hometown dates before the rose ceremony now, wouldn’t we? And since we know that she only likes three guys on this show anyway, do we really even need to go through with the formalities of all these silly dates for the next 2 hours? Can’t we just skip ahead to Curacao with Arie, Jef, and Sean? Guess not. Apparently they thought it was TV gold to watch Doug get frightened face in front of a woman again and Chris wanting to go Boston Strangler on everyone. For his sake, I really hope Chris is getting laid in “Bachelor Pad” right now. To steal a quote from Ferris Bueller, “Pardon my French, but Chris is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.”
-The date card arrives for Arie and it says “Lets Czech out Prague together.” Get it? Czech, because they’re in the Czech Republic. What a brilliant play on words. Whoever makes up these date cards deserves a ROFLMAO right now because, yes, literally I’m rolling around on the floor laughing my ass off right now. Ok, maybe not. Lets please do away with that on text please. Go find Jay Mohr’s riff on people “LOL’ing,” “LMAO’ing,” and “ROFLMAO’ing.” Funny stuff and 100% true. So Arie gets ready for the date while Chris is fogging up the room with the steam coming out of his ears he didn’t get a 1-on-1. It only gets better for here. Calling Chris a pissy little bitch this episode is an insult to all pissy little bitches out there. Lets just say that the 25 year old man definitely acted his age tonight – minus 10 years. I’m fascinated by watching Arie shave. A 30 year old man that still uses an electric shaverr? I didn’t even know they made guys like that anymore. Interesting. I don’t grow facial hair very fast like say a Ryan Bowers, but the last time I used an electric shaver was probably 8th grade. Very manly, Arie. Hope you wore your head gear while you were on the show too. Did you also have colored rubber bands on your braces?
-Arie and Emily walk around Prague with no real purpose to their date other than to go over to some statue and rub it because it’s supposed to give you trustworthiness and loyalty. Which was a complete set up for what was to come later in the date. I’m guessing that wasn’t planned before Cassie decided to tell Emily about Arie. Whatever the case, I want to give Arie and Emily credit for mastering something I’ve yet to master myself. The Kiss and Walk. Having your arm around a girl while walking and kissing her at the same time is not an easy thing to do. Especially when there’s a pretty decent height differential. I’m 6’2″. I’d say a majority of the women I’ve dated have been 5’6″ or shorter, so yeah, when you’re walking and there’s a 6 to 8 inch difference, unless you guys are stepping at the exact same time, the kissing definitely gets a little bumpy. I couldn’t tell Emily and Arie’s speed of pace, but they seemed they were able to do it under control without having their lips be together, and then him kissing her nose after the step “off key.”
-So lets get to the Cassie/Arie stuff. When I said last week it was going to be anticlimactic since we knew Arie got to the final three and they even showed her kissing him on the night portion of their date, I was telling you not to get your hopes up for any big explanation, which is exactly what they didn’t give. Of course the show is saying it “wasn’t as big of deal as the media made it out to be,” however, exactly what big deal did the media make it out to be? I certainly haven’t seen any. Other than US Weekly running their ridiculous story about how Emily let Arie go “right then and there” (which they were running on their site even 15 minutes before the episode aired last night), the media didn’t make a big deal of it. The show is hiding behind the “It was a relationship 10 years ago, it wasn’t a big deal, but we felt we needed to bring it up” aspect, which is the part that most people don’t care about. Yes, we ALL agree the fact that Arie dated Cassie 9-10 years ago isn’t that big of deal now, especially since she’s engaged to be married to another producer from the show in August. We’re not saying it was. What we’re saying is if you guys hold ALL these open auditions in cities across the U.S. and claim that you guys are casting guys who are seriously there for Emily, why are you even bothering casting someone who dated and is friends with the leads main producer? You couldn’t find ANYONE else? Really? I find that hard to believe. Kinda fishy when the show is casting people who have a past relationship, and a current friendship, with one of the main producers. Why even bother and open yourself up to the criticism? Oh yeah, because that’s exactly what they were looking for.
-The whole thing started out funny when we see Chris in front of the LA mansion where “Bachelor Pad” is being filmed informing us of what was gonna happen. Which goes to show that they weren’t going to address this until after filming was done, or else why wouldn’t Chris film that piece walking the streets of Prague by himself? Totally done after the fact when they realized, “Oh sh*t, it’s out that Cassie dated Arie, we should probably address it.” However, they addressed the completely wrong aspect of the issue. The part that everyone watching wanted to hear was Arie, Cassie, and Emily talking about it and hashing things out, yet no cameras were rolling? Really? And we’re supposed to believe that? Look, the bottom line is Arie was told to not bring it up to Emily and that it was taken care of. That’s why he never said anything. And once Cassie told Emily, yeah, she was thinking out loud in the clips we saw last night, “Well, why didn’t he tell me?” It’s because he was told not to. Were the cameras not really rolling, or, did the footage not have stuff they could show? Here’s the only two possibilities:
1) There was never any cameras rolling because there never was a three person conversation with Emily, Arie, and Cassie, and they just lied to make it seem like there was.
2) Cameras were rolling and Arie told Emily he was told by producers not to say anything to her about his relationship with Cassie, and obviously that wasn’t gonna get shown, so we saw nothing.
This show films basically EVERYTHING while you’re there. If they honestly expect their audience to believe that a three person conversation happening between Emily, Arie, and Cassie was never filmed because it wasn’t really that dramatic and all parties got over it immediately, they are playing their audience for idiots. If it wasn’t that big of deal, then why did you stop down the show, bring in two clips from Chris talking in front of the mansion a month after the show stopped filming, to tell us about Cassie and Arie’s relationship?
-The whole thing was ridiculously shady and handled even worse than I thought it would be. I think most people agree with what Emily was saying in the “raw footage” they showed us. Why not just tell her from the beginning? Here’s your answer: Because it’s a TV show and they knew this would be one of this season’s “moments” the second Arie was cast on the show. They knew at some point they’d have to address it because a five second google search of Arie’s name back when he was confirmed as a contestant showed that he had a prior relationship with Cassie. They knew this would get out. And this is the way they chose to handle it: Tell Arie not to say anything knowing that Emily would probably keep him around a while, save it until later in the show when she’s developing feelings for him, then drop it on her and tease the public to believe there’s a major scandal when there never was. But this is par for the course for them. Absolutely none of you should’ve been shocked by what you saw, and what you didn’t see, last night.
-So they basically skipped over all the good stuff with this “supposed” conversation that happened with Arie, Emily, and Cassie and now everythings fine. Hell, even Emily has convinced herself she was the one that overreacted earlier. Huh? Why is she apologizing to Arie? She didn’t do anything wrong. All she did was question why no one thought it might be a good idea to bring it up to her that Cassie and Arie had a past. Nothing wrong with that. Whatever. I guess we must move on since they all did in about 37 seconds. So we go immediately from that to Arie telling Emily “I love you.” Yeah, of course you do. How couldn’t you? This is your second 1-on-1 date since filming started 5 weeks ago. Of course you’re in love. Emily eats it all up. “I don’t feel like Arie is someone that just throws that around.” Oh Emily, Emily, Emily. How little you know. Poor little girl. Would you like all the names, numbers, email addresses and Facebook pages of all the women who were part of Arie’s life just moments before going to film this show, not to mention ones since he’s been back? You dodged a bullet, Emily. Trust me. You don’t want to be with that guy. I’m not sure exactly how the final three plays out yet in terms of the exact order or what happens, but I can tell you that Emily is not with Arie.