Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 8 - Emily

The “Bachelorette” Finale Recap

As for the actual show last night, per usual, I’m not doing a regular recap. There’s no point. It’s the same thing every season, which is why I was so surprised that I read so many tweets and got so many emails saying how boring they thought it was. Boring compared to what? EVERY finale is boring. There’s only 2 people left, every word out of everyone’s mouth is usually just gushing about each person still with a chance, and they have to kill two hours with it. Last night’s two hour finale was no different than any previous one, with the only difference being Emily canceling her last chance date with Arie just like Ali did with Chris. Other than that, no different most every other season. Here were some notes that I took regarding the episode though:

-I’m glad Jef got dressed up to meet Emily’s family for the first time – skinny jeans and white t-shirt. I guess I’ll just never get this guy and his wardrobe. It’s different, Emily likes it, and that’s all that matters. I wonder what the family REALLY thought when they saw him for the first time. Obviously they liked him after the fact, but when he first showed up looking all skinny-jeaned out and weighing in a svelte 104 lbs, maybe they thought he was a production assistant on the show.

-As I say every season when we get to this episode, I love the talk with the dad asking for hand in marriage. It’s so comical to me. Emily’s father had never seen or met Jef in his life, yet within hours, he’s giving him his blessing to marry his daughter. Oh, ok. And not only that, if you re-watch Jef’s conversation with her dad last night, I swear, the whole scene didn’t last more than two minutes. Obviously I know he talked to him longer, but it’s just hilarious to watch Jef talking to him and the first thing out of Jef’s mouth was asking for his blessing to marry Emily. Too funny. It’s so utterly ridiculous, yet we see it every season. What are they gonna say, no? Of course not. Because then it’d be obvious the lead would never choose that person. Every family of the lead has given their blessing to each of the final two people every single season that I can remember. And I don’t expect that to change.

-Was Arie’s gift to Emily’s family really all the roses that Emily had given him throughout the season? Uhhhh, thanks? What kind of crap ass gift was that? What do they care what roses she gave you? Half of them are dead anyway. The first one you got was on March 14th. It’s now the beginning of May. You think her mother wants your dead roses all over her kitchen? Maybe that’s why Emily dumped him. His gift sucked. Get em’ a bottle of wine. Give em’ some Bojangles gift certificates. Dude, they don’t want your dead roses from two months ago. Fail.

-Jef’s hair has gotten plenty of grief all season, and rightfully so, but did anyone else want to just take a pair of scissors to that one string of hair in the front that was flapping uncontrollably when he was sitting on the beach with Emily? I sure did. God that thing was annoying. Also, you could tell the way the conversation on the beach was going, and the way they stopped the music and purposely left a bunch of pregnant pauses in between Jef and Emily’s speech, they were setting you up to make you think she wouldn’t let him see Ricki, but when they do that, they usually always pull the opposite. Which they did. Could see that one coming a mile away.

-One thing that I didn’t know all season that I never had any information on was who, if anybody, met Ricki during the show. Even if you look at last Thursday’s video blog, question #47 asked to me wanted to know if any of the guys met Ricki and I said I didn’t know. Well, we got our answer last night. And if anyone was watching their clock, and noticing that we were approaching 1 hour into the show and Jef still hadn’t had his dinner date with Emily yet, you could kinda see that they were headed to her not having a last chance date with Arie, and that Arie wasn’t going to meet Ricki. Jef met Ricki back at Emily’s hotel, they played in the pool, and they all seemed to get along. Although Ricki did have this, “Where’s my kite, bitch?” look on her face.

-So Jef’s meeting with Ricki ended at 8:00 CST and they went to commercial. He still had his dinner date to come. At that commercial break I texted three friends and basically said, the clock isn’t going to allow for Arie to have a last chance date and/or meet Ricki. I guarantee after Jef’s date is when Emily talks to Chris and tells her she doesn’t need to have a date with Arie. Common sense told us that. There’s no way they could’ve squeezed it all in in time. Especially with coming back to the live audience coming back from commercial breaks, etc. I knew they’d do that a few more times and time-wise, it just wasn’t adding up. Then knowing we saw a promo last week of Emily telling Chris it wasn’t fair and “I don’t even know how to start the conversation,” it all made sense. Of course, the promo made you think Emily picked no one, but, we all knew that was garbage too. Please.

-Arie’s date arrives, and before Emily shows up, he makes some stupid love potion with a native from Curacao. I guess that love potion worked about as well as Brian Fantana’s Sex Panther cologne. “60% of the time it works every time.” Yeah, not quite. Note to self: Never go to Curacao for a love potion. It won’t work. Ever. I hope Arie got to take some of that home and burn it. And what the hell kind of love potion was that? He threw some flowers in a bowl and she poured oil on it. Really? This show really puts the “corn” in “corniness.”

-I’ll get to what I thought of the live aspect of last night’s show as whole on the next page, but I thought the facial shots of all the somber people in the audience after they had just watched Arie get dumped was completely ridiculous, not to mention 100% staged. Uhhhh, Chris Harrison gave a shout out at the beginning of the show to the 12 innocent people killed and numerous others injured in the Colorado theater shootings and the crowd wasn’t as dejected then as they were when they panned to them after watching Arie get dumped. That’s what TV directors do. I’m sure some people were sad, but bet your ass all of them were directed to be quiet and have a look on their face like someone just poisoned their cat once Arie’s footage aired.

-Biggest day of Jef’s life I’m assuming was the day of the proposal in Curacao. At least so far it is. Most certainly the day he hits puberty will overtake that. So then why did he show up in a blue suit, black tie, and brown shoes? A little confused by that one. Maybe he got dressed in the dark. Or maybe he’s just not the most color coordinated person in the world. By no means am I an expert on fashion, but, I wasn’t feeling that whole suit get up.

-Producer Robert Mills notified us on Twitter last night that he was the one who chose the theme song this season, which ended up being “Glory of Love” by Peter Cetera. Or, as I know it as, the theme song to “Karate Kid 2.” Great pick Rob. Excellent choice. Especially when I included that song and video in my column back in my recap of the London episode on June 12th. Glad I could help. Check it out here: http://realitysteve.com/2012/06/12/the-bachelorette-emily-maynard-spoilers-commentary-bachelor-pad-3-cast/5/

-Is it just me, or was that finale setting one of the worst they’ve ever assembled? No, it wasn’t just me. It was by far the worst. Last season we had Ben on a mountaintop with the Matterhorn in the background. Before that, we had Ashley and JP with the ocean in the background. This time? It looked like they were at Mickey’s Toontown at Disneyland with all those different colored houses. How bizarre. I mean, I know this show is gonna have to start going to great lengths to make sure their ending isn’t spoiled (which it still was), but geez, that was not very scenic at all. Seemed almost like they rushed to get it altogether since there was nothing special about that location whatsoever. The only thing I can think of is that paparazzi were down in Curacao, producers must’ve noticed they were being watched, and threw something together at the last minute. Because essentially all it was was a few steps to a stage, some potted plants and flowers, and a mini courtyard that wasn’t secluded whatsoever, they just closed off for filming.

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151 Comments

151 Comments

  1. johannablue

    July 25, 2012 at 4:42 PM

    LMAO, @Cammie99 . @aatex, and @ rollingeyes…… and several others….. great ending to a pretty crappy day!! You ladies are fun……ny!!!!! I looked for the FB page, can’t find it but I would likley be classified in the “evil bitch” “fat cow” “bitter bitch” …. oh and I forgot snarky catagory but I guess since I can’t find the FB page I can’t meet the ladies who have laid claim to those titles. Let me be the first to say WOW, keep it up because it truly brightens my day!!! Oh and Dianne…… go take a Prosac you take this too seriously!! Ooops, there I go sticking my nose into something I shouldn’t, now I’m gonna get it! lol! Just so we’re clear… not new to this site just reserved in my comments because let’s face it, it’s all been said already, on every level!

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