Dancing with the Stars
My thoughts on the last few weeks of the show that I haven’t been able to write about:
-Can we stop with the contestants saying “This week has been SOOOO hard on us. We had to learn two dances,” especially coming from contestants that have all been on the show before. At some point during every season there will be weeks where you have to learn two dances. This is nothing new. You should totally come to expect this and considering every single season everyone says it, yet every single season everyone manages to pull it off, don’t make it seem like you’re pulling off some miraculous feat. If every year on the weeks they had to learn two dances, couples were completely failing and forgetting the steps and quitting in the middle of their second dance because it was too hard to remember two dances, then yes, maybe you can complain about the two-dance week. But enough already. Your over dramatizing something that doesn’t need to be. Imagine that? Over dramatizing something for television. Who would’ve thunk it?
-In watching the judges these past few weeks, I’m reminded of one of the all time greatest television shows known to mankind that we only had the pleasure to see one season of: Bruno vs Carrie Dance Wars. Does anyone remember that piece of sh** by any chance? I certainly do. I watched every week of it in total amazement of how crappy and cheesy it was. I cannot believe they gave Bruno and Carrie a spinoff of DWTS. What I can believe is that it was sh**canned after one season. Holy awfulness Batman!
-I kinda thought all those mash up dances were lame. “Here, do the Samba but throw in some tribal dances with it, but then we’ll mark you down for not doing enough Samba.” This whole thing with Shawn and Derek breaking the rules was just lame. How do you break the rules on a dance that’s not even a real ballroom dance? I think the judges just find stuff to bitch about every season and run with it.
-There really is zero rhyme or reason to the voting system on this show. Nobody knows how it works, and honestly, I don’t think anyone cares to know. Of course now that the season is over, Shawn fans will complain she should’ve won. Look, I’m not a professional dancer, nor do I claim to be, but I did ask the opinion of someone who works in that area and here was their assessment of the final three before the finale took place:
“Shawn is definitely the best overall dancer. She can handle the most complicated choreography and her impeccable musicality and technical skill puts her above the others. Both the other girls have pretty lines, even though sometimes Kelly has awkward posture. But what they are doing musically and technically is nowhere near what Shawn is doing.”
However, no one said this show was ever about who was the best dancer. It never was and never will be. So whatever that’s worth, just thought I’d share.
-Did we finally get our answer on Monday to whether Kelly and Val were doing it? Ummmmm, you decide. I went back and wrote down what each of them said after Brooke Burke basically was forced to ask the question that all of America wanted to know. Here were their responses:
Kelly: “Listen I hope everybody can have friendships like this. I mean this is what it is, it’s a foundation of an amazing friendship. I know you’re laughing but it’s true it starts from scratch.”
Val: “Yeah I mean this is what it is. It’s unconditional love for one another. Whatever that label is, doesn’t have to be a boyfriend and girlfriend, it’s, it’s a relationship that I cherish and she could rely on me and I know I could rely on her.”
Translation: You’re damn right we’ve been knocking it out all season.
-Disappointed in Kelly’s freestyle dance for the sole reason that it was a complete copy of the final scene from “Dirty Dancing.” Zero originality whatsoever. I mean, I’m not saying the dance was easy (well, it kind of was), but at least do something different to change it up. It’s the one dance of the season where you can do anything you want, yet all they did was copy something from a movie. C’mon Val. I know you were probably busy all week trying to make babies with her, but at least put some thought into the choreography. Geez.
-I really hope they never do another All Star season. I don’t see the point of it. It was their lowest rated season ever and I think because it’s got competition on Monday nights now against the “Voice,” they can expect to lose viewers, but not as much as they lost this season. And with rumors of Derek, Maks, and Cheryl all leaving next season, not even the celebs that the audience is accustomed to will be around. Not that I think this show is going anywhere, I just think that they will never see the numbers they once did.
-And oh yeah, congrats to Melissa for winning.
-Be sure to check out Scott Ottersen’s weekly recap on the show that’s up every Thursday on the site. As for last night, I’ve never really understood people who spend all their money on food at the auction, when as far back as I can remember they always have a major clue to the immunity challenge that you can bid on. And knowing that it was probably Abi’s only chance of staying, why wouldn’t someone try and outbid her? And did Skupin really spend $500 on cheese and crackers? I know you’re hungry dude, but I guarantee that plate wouldn’t have ever come close to getting up to $500 if you started the bidding lower. That was dumb.
-The question brought up around this time every season is always, “Would you rather go to the finals with people you’ve built an alliance with but might not be able to beat, or, take some undeserving that you know would get no votes?” You know, like Abi. I’ve asked that question to numerous people and the consensus seems to be that the average person who watches at home would no doubt take someone to the finals they knew they could beat. But the contestants who actually compete on this show rarely ever do. I find that interesting. I tend to agree with the people who play the game. I’d much rather take someone to the finals who’s deserving to be there and played a good game, and may the best person win. I think taking the person who’ll get no votes is the easy way out. Yes, it’s for a million dollars, but still, I’d rather beat the best than get a “cheap” win.
-Speaking of the million dollars, when are they going to change that prize? Back when Richard Hatch won and “Survivor” was the first reality show of it’s kind to offer such a huge winning prize, a million dollars was a big deal? Ten years and 25 seasons later and the winning prize is STILL $1 million? I don’t know. I think they should up it. Why not? They’ve got plenty of money. I don’t wanna say $1 million is chump change, but after taxes and being in 2012 now, $1 million doesn’t go nearly as far as it used to. I don’t watch “Amazing Race” but I thought I read that this season or last season they finally upped it to $2 million for the winners. If I’m “Survivor,” I up the prize. After 25 seasons, you gotta change it up somehow and I think offering $3 million would be huge. There’s a reason they’ve never had a “Celebrity Survivor,” and that’s because these spoiled rich prima donnas would never brave those elements for 39 days for $1 million. They’ve got $1 million stuffed in their couch cushions. But I bet you if you did a final prize of $10 million to the winner, you could pull off a “Celebrity Survivor” no doubt.
-A couple weeks worth of shows to catch up on, starting with last week’s episode where they all had to dedicate a song to someone special in their life. Let me ask you something: Is it possible to cast contestants on this show that DIDN’T have some sort of tragic backstory? My gosh. Every single one of these people seems to have had something awful in their past. Geesh. They laid that one on pretty thick last week, no?
-I gotta give it up to CeCe Frey. Not because she’s a good singer or anything, but that girl has managed to cry every episode of every live show, yet is still around. How is that possible? She was doomed from the get go with the edit she got from the audition rounds. She could’ve come out and blown everyone away but America already had a bad taste in their mouths when it came to her and she’s just never gonna be well liked. And enough already with the face glitter and the bleached blonde look. Frankly, you look like a prostitute. Horrible make-over and it’s the reason you’re basically dead last every week in the standings.
-Did you happen to see who was sitting in the front row behind the judges during last week’s live performances? Juan Barbieri from Jillian’s season. You know, the guy Dave Good continued to pick on and run his “man code” stuff with. Every single shot of the judges, there he was in the first row behind constantly leaning over and talking to his girlfriend. Hey guys, the judges are talking. You might wanna shut up for a bit. It was uncanny. Every single time the judges were talking, you’d see Juan lean down and start talking to his girlfriend. I wanted to punch my TV and tell him to shut his trap even though I couldn’t hear a word he was saying. Talk over Britney all you want, I don’t care. She’s offered nothing all season. But show some respect to the almighty hairy chested Simon Cowell dammit!
-Not that we hadn’t seen in previous episodes that Beatrice Miller was raised by two mothers but, well, I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that they were part of her video package. But I could really care less about that. You know what bothered me the most? The fact that she had a leaf land in her hair and it stuck there for the whole song. I wanted to take a brush and swipe that thing away. Maybe that’s why she got the lowest number of votes. Well, that and the fact that it seemed like she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown every episode. Her and Carly Rose I believe are roughly the same age, yet Carly Rose acts like she’s a seasoned veteran.
-I don’t think I can say enough about Carly Rose’s performances. Win or lose (and she’ll probably win), but that girl is going to be a star someday. I know we basically haven’t heard sh** from last season’s winner (does she even have a recognizable single out yet?), but there’s no doubt in my mind Carly Rose will be the next big thing. Not many 13 year olds can pull off what she’s doing. I agree. I believe she is an alien. Her composure, her voice, the fact she doesn’t cry like a 13 year old probably should with the weight of this show on her shoulders every week is nothing short of amazing. Not to mention she’s gotta be the most likable person left along with Tate. Probably why they finish 1-2 every week. I’m a fan.
-Did you see Vino’s video package last week? He was singing for all the troops that fight for our freedom and mentioned that he grew up 5 miles from a military base in Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, which is the hometown of Sean’s final two girl, Lindsay Yenter. So how weird was that that Lindsay’s dad appeared in Vino’s video package talking about the military, and then we’ll see him again in 3 months when Sean goes to the base for Lindsay’s hometown? General Mark Yenter getting some serious airtime on two different networks in a span of 3 months. Props to him I guess.
-My biggest problem with X Factor will always be the over production on the live performances. It’s just a bit too much with all the flashing lights, the dancers, the props, the costumes, etc. It’s why this show will never pass “Idol” in terms of popularity. Sure, they do great video packages and you really get to know a lot of these contestants backstories, but once the performance happens, it seems to get lost behind all of what’s going on around them. How can they not see this by now?
-Khloe Kardashian is what, 10 shows into her hosting career now, and you know what? She still sucks. I hope her and Britney are replaced next year because neither give me anything worthwhile. And while you’re at it, you can get rid of AC Slater too. Even though he has hosting experience, he just seems out of place and uncomfortable on this show.