“Reality Roundup,” “Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” & Notes on Sean’s Season Including Which Contestant Was Married as a Teenager?

Dr. Reality Steve

Dear doctor,

I just want to start off by telling you that your column just overwhelms me with joy.
Now comes the story…
Last week my boyfriend if two weeks proposed to me! I was overwhelmed with surprise! I never saw it coming..
I have never been engaged before so this is a very new experience for me. So everything seems perfect, right? Or so you thought..
He hasn’t talked to me in two days and it makes no sense at all. I’m just overwhelmed with confusion.. Does he not love me anymore? Does he not want to be engaged to me? This is just all so overwhelming.. I just don’t understand what’s going on..
PLEASE HELP…
Thank you for listening.

Comment: I just found this email impossible to believe, so, no need to respond to it. But just wanted to let you all see the kinda stuff I get. Fun, isn’t it?
_________________________________________________________

Dear Dr. Reality Steve,

I’ve created an email account especially to get your advice, so I hope you will respond. My profession is a bit public, and I am hesitant to take any risks that might reveal my identity. So I will trust you to keep things private! I am not anyone famous, just under a lot of online scrutiny from people in my line of work.

I have a ton of questions, and I will probably email you again in regards to other questions.

In a nutshell, I am a 30-something professional who has been in many relationships, but none have turned into anything permanent. I have recently relocated to a TINY little town for my job, and I met someone who seemed to be interested in me. On a retreat a while ago, we ended up spending some quality romantic time together (no hooking up) and he asked me a million questions about myself, trying to get to know me. He was very flirtatious. He expressed his attraction to me several times. We are very different, and have some serious differences, such as the fact that he doesn’t drink, and I do. After that, we have maintained a professional relationship, at he sometimes is very sweet towards me, and other times very cold. I don’t know what to make of it. Despite the fact that I would like I really like him and would like to pursue things, I am maintaining my distance and being professional. Is this the best way to proceed? Is there a chance to make something happen, or is it best to give up? He is the only attractive single man that I know here, so that is part of it. But at the same time, I think of him often, I think he is great, and would like to at least be friends with him.

I am also in touch with a number of ex-boyfriends, who are my friends. One of them seems to want to get serious with me, but I am hesitant because we had some serious issues as a couple. Another is very friendly, but not ready for a relationship, and probably would be looking for someone different than me anyway. I will not get into the rest of the details of them.

I am wondering what you think. I am getting older, and would like to pursue something serious. My line of work has led me to live in a place where there are not many prospects. It is hard for me to let go of my feelings for this one guy in my office, who is wonderful. But if he is not interested, I don’t want to make things weirder than they are already. If you have any advice on how to get over him, that would be great! And, what do I do now?

Comment: With the guy at work, I guess you need to spend more time with him to determine if those “serious differences” are actual deal breakers. If they are, then you’ve got the answer to your question. If not, then pursue it.

Keep in mind with any ex-boyfriends you’re thinking of getting back with. There’s a reason you broke up with them. While it all may seem great in the beginning of getting back together, just know those problems didn’t magically disappear while you were broken up. They’re still there, they just haven’t come to the forefront yet.
_________________________________________________________

Hi Steve,

Love your site and your spoilers/columns! I always get very excited when I see new tweets from you on twitter too!

I have a quick general Dr. Steve question: I’ve always wondered, if I just meet a single guy at a party and we start talking and we hit it off and I casually mention through normal conversation that I have a boyfriend, will the guy stop trying to get to know me?

For example, there’s a guy in a class of mine that I’ve been getting to know and I’m worried that if I mention having a boyfriend that he won’t care to maintain/develop our friendship anymore. I feel like as a woman with a boyfriend I’m auto-friendzoning every new guy I meet, and that discourages them from wanting to talk to me further. Of course I don’t think this makes them jerks, just normal guys who realize their next relationship won’t start with ‘me’. What do you think?

Comment: All depends on the guy you’re dealing with. If you mention to a guy you’re talking to that you have a boyfriend, and then he completely cuts off all communication from you, then you know all he cared about was getting in your pants. So you shouldn’t care if he ditches you anyway since he wasn’t all that interested in anything more than a hookup.

Is there a reason you’re actively going out looking for guy friends? Do you WANT someone else on the side? Or want to have somebody lined up in case things don’t work out with your boyfriend?
_________________________________________________________

Dr. Steve,

I am a fairly normal 34 year old woman. On paper I have it all – great career, good looking husband, good financial situation, etc. I cheated on my husband last night for the 2nd time. The first time was while we were engaged, 2 different guys with no real feelings involved, just great chemistry. I can’t figure out why I keep doing this. We have been married just over a month. I love him a lot, but the sexual part isnt there for me. I need things to be new and exciting.

For the record I cheated on, and eventually divorced, my first husband. I have never had a long term monogamous relationship, but I would like to have children. In spite of everything I have just told you, I am actually a decent person and think I would be a great mom. The cheating thing is really my only big flaw. Is it possible some people aren’t meant for monogamy? Or do you think I settled for the wrong guys and maybe I could change?

Comment: Your marriage is doomed. You’re a month in and already hate the sex and you cheated? What’s the point of being married to him then, or why did you even in the first place considering you also cheated when you were engaged? I’m assuming he doesn’t know about this, so you’ve already lied to him twice, and your marriage doesn’t seem like it’s got a solid foundation for anything good to happen. Have you told him the sexual part doesn’t work for you?

You’ve never had a long term monogamous relationship, yet you’ve decided to get married twice? May I ask why? You’re admitting you’re not good at it, and if your answer is, “Well, I just want kids,” then that’s a horrible reason to get married. You’ve got some issues you need to work through. I suggest a therapist because there’s gotta be some deep seeded issue as to why you cheat on every guy you’re with, including two husbands. Go talk to someone. You need it.
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Send all regular and “Dr. Reality Steve” emails to: steve@realitysteve.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you soon.

146 thoughts on ““Reality Roundup,” “Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” & Notes on Sean’s Season Including Which Contestant Was Married as a Teenager?

  1. @addicted – thanks for the info. I enjoy and appreciate the backstory/info.

    **Nashville**
    I was surprised, at first, at the “acceptance” of Juliette by Sean’s parents. As I watched, I realized she was so totally into his family, thinking she could be a legit part of a “legit” family. She obviously believed she was on track for their new daughter-in-law status…and so did I….for a minute. Then momma burst that bubble. Per the previews, that isn’t stopping Juliette but I honestly felt bad for her when momma put her in her place.

    Rayna took the news well but, again per the previews, looks like this isn’t the end of the “alleged affair” issues between her and Teddy.

  2. @helio – bahahahaha

    @cc – I hear you BUT EVERYONE else WOULD want to go to the end with you, right? And thanks, seems like most of us think alike on here :D .

  3. Wish Steve would comment on Emily’s supposedly joining DWTS in March. Ugh…watching her stumble and bumble her way through the first week (when she will be eliminated!), will not make for great entertainment. Makes sense for her since she has no job or anything going on in her life so can commit to the nearly 3 months necessary to do the show.

  4. @Kasey31

    Good info, thanks! Some of the ages and timeline do not jive which is in line with what the producer has said. Still a great show and well, I’m Addicted! :)

  5. Has everyone seen the previews for this Sunday’s TAR finale? You know, where they are hanging upside down over millions of miles of air in a straight jacket (looks more like an episode of Fear Factor than TAR)? And where they show them falling for millions of thousands of miles in a free fall? And where they’re screaming at the top of their lungs in fear? Um yeah, that’s why I won’t ever try out for TAR. NEVER.

    P.S. please excuse any unintentional exaggerations :D .

  6. DWTS
    Sunnyside442, I couldn’t believe it when I read she might do DWTS. UGH! Please….no more Emily. I’ve had enough of her to last a lifetime.

    Is anyone else planning on watching Ashley and JP’s wedding? I really like how those two stayed off the famewhore path.

    TAR
    Randais, I haven’t seen the previews and have missed the last two shows. I’ll have to catch up before Sunday!

  7. Amazing Race
    I’m so looking forward to the finale! Should be a good one!

    Parenthood
    Does anyone else watch this show. It’s excellent. Looks like Tues. show is going to be a cry-fest.

    DWTS
    I can’t imagine Emily would make it past the first or second week. And isn’t the next DWTS during racing season? Shouldn’t she be trolling at some NASCAR track trying to line up her next victim?

  8. **dwta**
    @helio- haha, your comment.. i just cant for the life of me imagine emily being graceful.. it might be funny to watch her for a couple of weeks, but i dont think i could stand her any longer than that..

  9. @Sunny – good spoiler! I don’t mean “good” in the sense I’d want to see that but way to be the first to spoil on this site anyway :D .

    @kasey & helio: DWTS
    Say it isn’t so….PLEASE. Why do these people insist on trying their hardest to extend their pitiful 15 minutes? Her whole platform for not doing the Bachelorette a second time (originally) was she didn’t want to leave her kid, right? What a joke that season of DWTS would be if they did cast her!

    @karyn – regarding Emily, ditto and did you catch up? I don’t know if I’ll watch the wedding or not, isn’t it on the 16th? That’s my birthday and I’m thinking I’m not sure I want to spend ANY of it with ANYone/thing bachelor/ette :D .

    TAR – season finale tonight (and not I don’t mean winter formal :D ) Who’s going to take it all home? I have to admit, I was a little disappointed that the last episode was a non elim, otherwise we’d been rid of the “twinnies” (aka thieves).

  10. **TAR**

    Good ending! I loved the look on the faces of the eliminated contestants when the goat farmer were the ones that ran in! Would have been ok w/any of the last 3 teams winning since the tweenies were out. They were so horrible to the goat farmers. I can’t believe the tweenies were calling them “evil gays”. Terrible!! Karma’s a b*tch, ladies!

  11. THE AMAZING RACE
    So I’m going to pat myself on the back again…2 weeks ago I made a comment about the Beekman Boys…yup, I went and found it, and here it is… (wait, I’m starting to sound like Steve…)
    “It seems like the rest of the teams are evenly matched, so it will be a good fight to the end. While the Beekman boys do not pose a physical threat to the other teams, they are both very smart and do well at some tasks that are difficult for others.”

    As soon as Phil explained the last task and all of the teams essentially arrived within a few minutes of each other, I knew that the Race was the Beekman’s to lose. And as expected, Josh said that he viewed it as a math problem, using process of elimination, since he knew that he could not possibly remember how the greeters said “Hello” and “goodbye” following each leg of the race in that country’s native language. I was impressed with James (or Jaymes? I don’t know…Brown hair) during the challenge and I think that Lexi would’ve done just fine if she would’ve thought logically instead of becoming emotional and freaking out.

    I was excited for the Beekman boys….now they can live together in goat farming bliss.

    Of course the last challenge would not have been complete without another gem from Jaymes (James? Blonde hair).,. “Merhaba? That sounds like a sandwich. That’s making me hungry. Can I have a footlong Merhaba, please?”

    And while Lexi could be annoying at times (Babe, hey babe, ok babe, hurry up babe, good job babe, awesome babe, babe, babe, babe…), I really liked how Trey was always really supportive of her. Sometimes they cast these dating couples who spend the entire race yelling at each other, but I don’t think he ever got angry with her and seemed very supportive. They are cute together…hope it works out for them.

    On a personal note…this may have been the first race to feature a location that I have actually visited (well, outside of the US anyway) . I had the privilege of taking a trip to the Loire Valley in France about 10 years ago…the chateaus are absolutely stunning and the show did a great job of showcasing the region’s beauty.

  12. Blind Item #4

    This reality show judge now has made it 13 contestants and potential contestants he has had sex with. He doesn’t promise them anything, but he implies they will move further along if they sleep with him.

    Widely thought answer: Chris Harrison

  13. Glad TAR is over. I never heard of Beekman Boys and just googled it. These recycled reality characters are ridiculous. Doesn’t anyone aspire to a real career anymore?

    I won’t watch DWTS if Emily is on. I can’t stand her. I thought Melissa was great though. Two totally different women.

    Tough choice: Suvivor finale or JP-Ashley wedding?

    What were blind items 1 – 3 and why do we care?

  14. Well I can’t say I’d be surprised if it was hound dog Harrison! He sure had plenty of opportunity along the way.

    Couldn’t be Jeff Probst as those people get pretty stinky as the days progress!:-)

    Tom Bergeran (sorry can’t recall the spelling of his name)…never!

    Simon Cowell…nah, he’s too particular to slum it up.

    Adam Levine…sure I’d see him doing it. So anyone else with any ideas?

  15. So Survivor finale or JP/Ashley….SURVIVOR for sure! Didn’t realize they were up against each other. Watched from episode one and won’t miss the finale.

  16. *DWTS*
    Please, please tell me that it’s just a rumor about Emily doing dwts. I feel the same as Karyn- I’ve had enough of Emily to last a lifetime. More than enough.

    *Nashville*
    @Randais, I finally had a chance to catch up. **Spoilers, in case anyone hasn’t watched yet** I had a feeling Sean’s parents were just putting on an act to like her in the beginning, in front of Sean and his sister. I didn’t expect her to propose to him like that at the end though! The previews show her with an engagement ring so I’m assuming he said yes, but who knows if they’ll actually go through with it.

    @Karyn, I doubt I’ll watch Ashley and JP’s wedding when it airs on Sunday (I just can’t put that over Sunday Night Football) but I’ll save it for when I have time. I watched most of Jason and Molly’s wedding and still remember how beautiful the aisle looked with those large glass cylinders lining it.

  17. *Scandal*
    I’m sure I’ve said this before, but if you’re not watching Scandal, you’re missing out. Soooo good. In the past I haven’t been a big fan of President shows, but this one is different and there’s always a new twist. I don’t think it’s the type of show you should pick up watching in the middle of the season, since some major things have recently happened in the storyline, but it’s worth it to watch it online or something and catch up. Highly recommended for my fellow Revenge fans on here. :)

  18. TAR
    For me, major disappointment. Those boys didn’t win a single leg of this race. I couldn’t believe they lasted anywhere near as long as they did and was definitely pulling for either one of the final three but it is what it is and there you go.

    Survivor
    I didn’t realize the finale was up against the wedding, that’s an easy choice, for me…Survivor.

    @iheart – the previews also show our Miss Juliette in a wedding dress…. so if they don’t end up at least going to a wedding, they are majorly teasing us!

  19. Wow, I’m glad there is someone monitoring these comments now and removing the rude people. I actually signed in just to tell “imadumbamerican” or whoever that was that they were a jerk.

    On a more positive note…..I’m really looking forward to getting the episode spoilers. :)

    And @iheartvino, I knew there was a reason I liked you – there is no way I’d choose anything Bachelor-related over Sunday Night Football!

  20. *Sports* :)
    @rollingeyes, there are very few things I would watch over NFL or NBA. Actually scratch that, my Lakers are God awful to watch this season so I’ve been watching almost anything over them lately. I still love them for life but it’s just too depressing to watch them fall apart every game.

    GREAT MNF matchup tonight. No disrespect to ccrider and Kaleb- the two Texans fans I know of on here- but I really, REALLY want the Patriots to win just so all my friends in TX can hush up about their Texans. (And no, I’m not bitter that the Texans are Waaaaay better than my Boys this year. nope, not bitter at all.) :) But if the Texans can go into Foxborough and beat the Patriots, then I reluctantly will acknowledge that they’re legit. lol

  21. Hey sunnyside422, why is yours the only handle that shows up as a hyperlink, and why when I click on it does it take me to a porn site?? Lol. Just curious. Maybe a question for admin!

  22. TAR
    I would have been happy with Jaymes/James or the Beekman Boys winning. Actually, anyone but the thieves could have taken it and I would have been happy. I don’t think the twinnies will learn anything from this experience. The maturity and treating others with kindness and respect is just not something they’ve learned yet. I’m also so tired of the judgemental homophobes and their articles about the “gay racers.” Who cares about the color, race, etc., as long as they’re good people?!

    Wedding
    NFL will be on in the living room, since my son’s a true alpha male screaming at the TV every Saturday or Sunday, so I’ll probably tape it. I can’t watch on the TV in bedroom, since I fall asleep as soon as I lie down and turn the TV on. Of course, when you come from the town the Arizona Cardinals are from, football is not the best topic, right now. And the Suns aren’t doing much better. Bring me back to the Charles Barkely/Ainge days. That was so much fun!

    I hope RS does a column today. It’s been way too long since the last one.

    Blind Item
    Nothing would surpise me anymore!

    @lucky….Isn’t that the truth! Melissa and Emily are such different types of people. Melissa really earned that win! Emily will flounder around, the sad back story will pop up again, they’ll show lots of shots of Ricki in the audience to bolster her numbers, then we’ll hear the rumors about her sleeping with her partner, or one of the other cast members. Same sh**, different day!

    @jillbeau…I’ve always wanted to go to the French countryside a lot more than Paris. I imagine it is absolutely beautiful. I’ve been to Greece and Switzerland, but never France. My first career ,many years ago, was a Travel Agent, and I wish I would have taken advantage of more of the discounts back then!

  23. Ahhhh…me a porn site! I’m excited that someone out there would think me (waay past my prime) eligible for a porn location! Whoo hooo. I love it!

  24. @Karyn, your prediction of how DWTS would portray Emily if she was on it is spot-on!! :)

    Is anyone else having difficulty on this site lately? My browser seems to freeze up and I have to shut down Explorer. All other websites seem to be speedy as usual so I don’t think it’s my computer or Internet connection.

  25. @iheart – try using chrome or firefox. I started using chrome back when we were having so many issues with that annoying redirect and I haven’t had a problem since.

    @Karyn – must have missed the reference to the “gay racers”. Personally, I just wanted one of the other teams to win because I felt they ran a more competitive race over all.

  26. I’ve been having trouble with the pop-ups. I keep getting a message saying that I’m the 1,000th person in Ann Arbor, Michigan to visit the site and I’ve won a free iphone. #1- I do not live ANYWHERE near Ann Arbor, Michigan! #2- I am a proud graduate of THE Ohio State University and the last place I’d want to live is Ann Arbor, Michigan (if you live there, are a UM fan, or a UM grad, please don’t take offense. It’s just part of the rivalry). #3-I already have a phone I love so don’t want the free one.
    Thanks for the suggestion about google chrome. Will try it.

    **TAR**
    The Tweenies kept calling the Beekmans “evil gays” and “we have to beat those gays”….etc. It was terrible! I was wanting the Chippies to win but after the way the Beekmans were treated I was glad to see them win just because of that. Although deep-down still a little disappointed that the Chippies didn’t win. Loved their positive attitude and fun spirit throughout the entire season.

  27. Just saw this on Steve’s twitter…
    “A 2 month annoyance has turned into full blown stalker status. It’s now being turned over to the police.”

    Curious? Or maybe completely unrelated…?

  28. jill – interesting. If that’s what’s been holding him up from putting up a new column, I hope he can get to the business at hand: details/gossip etc on the JP-Ash wedding so I can watch Survivor on Sunday. Come on, Steve, please give us something new.

  29. @jil – Well that IS “curiouser” isn’t it? Hopefully, unrelated but if not, should have been “reported” months ago, in my opinion.

    @helio – OH that was referring to the comments by the “twiNNies” during the show? I got it. I was pulling for the Chips too.

    Well we were “warned” that his posts would get pretty few and far between so maybe we’ll have to keep entertaining ourselves for a while longer :) .

  30. **The Voice** SPOILER ALERT

    YES YES YES….Cassadee AND Terry! In the finals! LOVE IT! And Nicholas…..as I suspected.

  31. @iheart and helio- weird, i have problems on my computer sometimes, too.. but my annoyance is always this box that pops up asking if i want to take a survey.. then it plays games with me by moving around when i try to close it.. and the stupid thing moves fast!

    @jill- yay for your correct prediction with tar : ) i dont watch the show, but i feel like ive missed out when i read everyones comments.. survivor, scandal, and survivor are on my list for next season.. and i think i was just happy to see that im not the only one who went back and found their quote when they were right about something, mine was seans f1 (not that im trying to honk my own horn or anything or remind everyone for the billionth time.. never would i ever) haha

    @randias- i agree, should have been taken care of a long time ago.. whatever it is, hope hes ok and everything works out.. but i agree with lucky.. we need a new column.. in the meantime, randais, did u watch the voice? i havent had a chance to see it yet, but i did see your shout out to cassadee, so im assuming she killed it as always?

  32. haha oops! i posted that before i read your comment, randais.. well ill pretend i didnt know and be just as excited when i watch it ; ) we both wanted the same f3 i think, so yayyy!!! although i couldve swapped nicholas for amanda, but im still a happy camper : )

  33. iheartvino:
    I haven’t been paying enough attention for the last couple of years to new network series and when mine have gradually gone off the air I find that I don’t have much to watch, so I took your advice and Wikied “Scandal” and have been watching the five episodes that are available for this season. It’s a good one. I remember liking the show “Damages” – this isn’t near as dark or multi-layered, but it’s still good entertainment. Thanks for the encouragement.

    helio:
    I know what you mean about OSU vs Michigan. It does seem like a cruel twist of fate to be getting these messages. I haven’t noticed anything strange here for me, but obviously something is going on for some of. Nebraska football doesn’t really have any big current rivals – well maybe Wisconsin after what happened in Indianapolis two weeks ago…:( but that’s just sad, noting long-lasting,
    not like the salt in the wound that promoting the Wolverines to a Buckeye fan would be).

  34. College FB-
    Athena….was hoping your Huskers would beat those pesky Badgers. Only reason Wiscy even went to the Championship game was because the Bucks and Penn State were on probation. So now we have a 8-5 team from the Big 10 going to the Rose Bowl!! Ugh!! Oh well such is life. Hopefully, Iowa will improve and there will be a natural rivalry between the Huskers and the Hawkeyes. Problem is Iowa has not been that good since you joined the Big 10 and this year they were horrible! Fingers crossed for a better year for the Big 10 all around next year!

  35. College football/heliofan,
    It’s painful to be undefeated and not be able to play in a bowl game and I feel bad for the current players and staff at OSU. I also hope that PSU is able to move on in a healthier way post-Paterno. OSU’s infractions were so minor compared to what happened at PSU, but ultimately, I believe it was a good thing to bring the shady stuff into the light so that a culture of “it’s ok when it’s really not ok” and/or coverups ala PSU wasn’t perpetuated. Sadly, we all know where that can lead, whether it’s in sports or elsewhere in life.

    Agree about hopes for a better year for the conference next year! And, I realize that it’s not likely, but maybe we’ll surprise everyone and come out on top in some of our bowl games.

  36. College football….

    @ athena, Yes…I feel bad for players and coaches who we’re not involved in the scandals getting punished for what others did…but that’s how things are right now in the NCAA. Got to love that both OSU and PSU played their hearts out all season! Proud of my 12-0 Buckeyes! :) I’ve got a feeling that our Big 10 has some good things going in 2013!

  37. @Randais, I am viewing this site now in Firefox and you’re right, it is much better. Another added bonus is that on my Firefox browser, there is an automatic spell check.

    @Kasey, that sounds so annoying! I hate those pop-ups that move around when you try to close them. The only issue I’ve been having lately is that as soon as I come to this site (using Explorer anyway) everything slows way down and it takes forever to load the comments. On my phone and iPad it’s super speedy and seems to be okay using Firefox so I’ll just have to remember to do that.

    *Scandal*
    @Athena, yay!! I’m so glad you checked out Scandal and liked it. I wonder if you were able to watch the most recent two episodes? Those are where it got really good. I won’t give anything away in case you haven’t seen them yet. I’m happy to have someone to discuss this show with on here now. :) (And board monitors, I’ll do my best to remember to put the header for my other shows posts!!)

  38. **the voice**
    finally got a chance to get caught up last night.. and WOW.. cassadee.. “stupid boy” there is no way anyone is going to beat her.. shes simply, amazing!

  39. @kasey – might have to agree with you on that score…Cassadee is in it to win it.

    @iheart – I’m glad it helped, Chrome has a spell check too fyi.

    Shall we reconvene on the new post? :D See ya over there.

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