“Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” & Bachelorette Desiree Notes

I know I say this a lot but I’m gonna say it again dammit. Wifi on airplanes was one of the greatest inventions ever. Sure, I may have slacked last night in writing my column so I could finish season 5 of “24″ because I knew I’d be able to write the column on the plane, but man, what did we do before airplane Wifi? Listen to music? Blah. Read a book? Meh. Tweet, Facebook, and blog? Weeeeeeeeee!!!! So thank you American Airlines for your hospitality. And a big no thanks to the guy behind me that I had to listen to have diarrhea of the mouth towards the woman sitting next to him. Holy crap. I sh** you not, not within 5 seconds of fastening his seat belt, he says the woman next to him, “Hey there…what’s your name? What do you do?” And bam! He was off and running. Talking about what he does (something in global engineering), his business, how many miles he travels a year for work, where he’s headed to the rest of the year, how his son is a good baseball player, and I think a history of his family tree. She didn’t come prepared for that onslaught. Poor woman. She had zero interest in anything he had to say. As would anyone. To quote Lloyd Christmas, “No, and I don’t cccccaaaaaaaare!”

Remember, if you’re looking for Desiree’s season spoilers, you can click here, or just go to the navigation bar at the top of the page and click on “Bachelorette Desiree Spoilers.” A few things to get to that I didn’t cover in yesterday’s column before the recap. Lets first start with (and I know this is a bit old) the rumor of Derek Hough being offered $3 million to be the next “Bachelor.” I can tell you two things for certain: 1) Derek Hough will not be the next “Bachelor.” 2) No “Bachelor” in this franchise will get paid $3 million to be the lead. Just think about that for a second. How ridiculous would that be? Not to mention unfair to all the women. How would you like to be one of the 25 women knowing that the guy you’re after was being paid $3 million to choose someone. What incentive is there for him after pocketing that money? And what woman would actually believe he was serious about it? Please. These rumors happen every year, and they’re so off base and untrue it’s laughable. Derek Hough is doing fine in the lady department I’m guessing. He doesn’t need this show, or $3 million to do it. It’s insulting that someone would even run that story, let alone people actually believe it.

In all of Desiree’s pre-season interviews, you can tell she’s just petrified of slipping up or giving anything away. I don’t think she’s exactly media savvy quite yet. She’s still learning. But while she’s learning, we get a lot of boring, canned, by-the-book answers. I know there’s only so much she can say without giving anything away, but look at her answers from the first conference call of the season she did with reporters a couple weeks ago. Could her answers have been any shorter? It was like she was filling out an application to a job she didn’t want. And those answers aren’t edited either. She doesn’t seem to have much to say. In most recent seasons, Ashley, Jillian, Emily, and Ali were all much more well versed than that. Hopefully she’ll get better as the season goes on.

Des also wrote her first blog of the season for People.com. Not too much to it, other than the fact that as cute as she thought Ben’s son Brody was, she didn’t know hold old he was. In her blog, she says he’s three. Nope. He’s four. I’m glad she pays attention to details. Brody, go take back that flower you gave her.

As for “People,” did any of you catch the load of horsesh** Fleiss was feeding them a couple weeks ago. In their initial article on Des’ season, this was an exact quote from Fleiss in regards to Desiree’s popularity among the masses. “Guys were flocking when they heard it was Desiree.” Ummmm, Mikey. Let me refresh your memory on the timeline regarding your very own announcement of Desiree as the “Bachelorette.” Now obviously, they are interviewing and casting contestants WELL in advance of them even knowing who their lead is (which is just more proof of how this isn’t about finding a potential spouse), but Fleiss basically just put his foot in his mouth. They officially announced Desiree as the next “Bachelorette” to the public on the live ATFR show Monday, March 11th. Filming for Desiree’s season started filming that Thursday, the 14th. Hell, most of the guys cast were already holed up in a hotel room on en route to LA when the announcement was made. So enough of the garbage that guys were “flocking” to meet Desiree. You had a three day window. And hey, believe it or not, of these 25 prince charmings all going on TV to find a wife, I know you may find this incredibly difficult to comprehend, but not all your guys even liked her. Obviously Brian didn’t give a sh** about her since he had a woman back home. Bryden didn’t seem to care about Des if he’s kissing a girl and posting it on Instagram a few days before he left for filming. And I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but lets just say there are others this season as well that weren’t all that jazzed by Desiree and what she had to offer. But hey, you wanna convince yourself they all were there because they thought Des was the greatest thing since sliced bread, knock yourself out.

23 thoughts on ““Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” & Bachelorette Desiree Notes

  1. I’ve stopped watching this show completely, but I come to this site religiously. Basically, I’m reading spoilers for a show I won’t watch.

    I had a similar situation with a professor, but it was a friendship interest, not romantic. After my final grades were posted, I sent him an email saying I was going to X to celebrate the beginning of summer and I asked if he wanted to join me. I didn’t have expectations and I was honest. We are still great friends and he helped me land an awesome job. She should put out a vague invitation to a public place and let him make the next move. She needs to be honest about her intentions and be prepared for rejection.

  2. Wow, this comment thread it of control! I sense that people are really not into this season at all. I recorded the show & usually watch it Monday. I turned it on and fell asleep within 10 minutes. I have been watching recordings of the God awful new season of Storage Wars instead. That’s how bad this Bachelor season looks to me. I have zero interest in Des and a bunch of drunken frat boys who want their 15 minutes of fame. I just can’t do it this time.

  3. Two days later there’s only two people posting here, arghh. Just goes to show that Des, (my fav character on Sean’s season) is as boring as her castmates. Those boys are too much!!

  4. Caught part deux of TBrette HD/OD, so skipped the limo exits. Whoever said it looks like we’re being punked is right, but not just regarding the men this season — who, btw, give off the creepiest of vibes. The entire shebang seems contrived more so than usual. I know most will probably disagree with me, but as bachelorettes go, Des lacks polish and looks “propped up.” As Hollywood women go, she’s just not that pretty.

    I don’t think the Cinderella angle helped. Feels like the show is apologizing for who she is. It yielded nothing much beyond weirdos and opportunists — NOBODY there for the right reasons. The emphasis should have been on her triumphs despite some odds.

    And that mute-invoking, timid sounding way of speaking she’s developed needs to go the way of nearly all her ‘men.’

    It’s really sad… Was there anyone there who actually cared about connecting with that girl? From the look and sound of things, you could take her out of the equation and just have those vapid morons vie for roses. Most wouldn’t even notice her absence.

    It was painful to watch, and more than a little boring.

    Thank you, RS for the summation of the entire season. Saves me a lot of time.

  5. To me, it looks like Des has had work done on her eyes. Her eye bags are totally gone. She’s obviously had a makeover & they’ve used heavy makeup on her. The guys are pretty much all tools in one way or another & definitely not there for Des…. unless you count shagging her in the Fantasy Suite. I don’t think I can make it all the way through. Even my wife who always gives me a hard time for being so cynical thinks this show with Des and the creepy guys is going to be horrible.

  6. Oooff – couldn’t agree w/ all of you more. Snore. It’s sad really (for Des). Who deserves to be portrayed that way? But then, isn’t that what RS says….if you sign up, you’ll be Fleiss’d.

    Immediately when the show started it seemed different, like they’d dropped the ‘fantasy’ side of the show and went for the ‘everywomans’ portrait. Driving up in her car-I kept waiting for it to make the squeak/pop sound my own car did in college! I think that’s why those of us who weren’t big fans of Emily still watched; she was like this oddity come to life. Whereas Des is just a 20-something, bumbling thru life and whoops, she’s on tv.

    And RS is wrong; they did show a rear/side shot of whatshisnames face (they guy she picks) on a sailboat in what appeared to be late episodes. Here’s the thing, Des and he look ALIKE to me!! Blech. Ick

    Only memorable one was the guy who dropped down to tie his shoe. Clever. Cute.

  7. I actually like Des way more than I liked Emily (though “like is a relative term because what we see is just a snippet of who these folks really are). I don’t mind the “Everywoman” storyline, and let’s face it, most of these people are just that. I don’t expect, nor want, Hollywood glamor – seeing the bachelorettes/bachelors as normal people is part of the appeal for me. If I wanted Brad and Angelina, I’ll google them and find out what the paparazzi are are picking up on. Having said all that, the show is just so darn predictable, both in terms of the same old tired plot lines, and the psychological manipulations done to get the contestants to really believe they’re “in love”, that it’s getting more and more painful to watch.

  8. Hey RS, I know you liked Angie on IDOL but personally, I thought she was just too commercial and cheesy to the camera. She seemed to have only one expression- that sort of annoying smile…
    Loved her voice though.

  9. On another note while we are snoozing through Des and her lack of personality and a house full of d-bags…..I’ve sadly been following AshLee “abandoned” Frazier on twitter.

    Why you ask? Well, because I’m pathetic, and also I am in such disbelief about her dating Brad Womack that I have to keep my eye out for the inevitable breakup.

    Also FYI, via my AshLee follow, I see that Shawntel the mortician who was trying to hookup with Ben Flatdick, is on her honeymoon. She recovers quickly! Go Shawntel.

  10. Athena I think we agree – I too think Des is a decent person (although with shades of Ali, at least to me) and that is why I think her edit stinks so far. And I don’t mind that they moved to an ‘everywoman’ style–it was like they made a purposeful change that seemed immediately apparent to me as the show started.

    Just thinking about Emily and I see a flash of teeth and pastel colors…..

    Shawntel is married. Wowzie. I can’t decide whats for dinner that fast.

  11. The comments are too funny! And what’s really odd is that there aren’t really many disagreeing…. no death match commenting going on at all!! And AshLee with Brad… wow…. what an impending implosion that is!! People Magazine must be drooling over the potential for that one. Maybe AshLee will kill Brad afterwards and the whole investigation/trial can keep Nancy Grace and HLN running for another year or two! Well, at least between Jodi Arias interviews from death row.

  12. I’m with you, rob22. I just can’t do it. I missed last Monday’s episode, and here in Toronto, we get a re-run on Sunday evening. So, I tried again, and nope, didn’t happen. I have no intrest in Des..she may be sweet and all, but wayyyyyy too boring. I refuse to watch her crying and sniffling all the time. I don’t think the guys are all that bad (well, most of them anyways). It’s just “her”.

  13. Damn you RS, now all I do is find myself staring at Des’ teeth. And noticing that Bryden has the same teeth.

    What has happened to my life?

  14. This. Is. Awful. Is this season a parody of the Bachelorette? I don’t get it!!! I don’t mean any disrespect to Des, and this certainly has nothing to do with her humble beginnings, her financial status, or anything of the sort, but this season is like a trailer-park version of every Bachelorette season prior. These guys cannot possibly be the best group of guys they could find for Des.. does ABC secretly despise her? WHAT in the world is going on? Like I said before, it’s as if they took the worst guys from seasons’ past and lumped them together into Des’s season.. Can anyone even fathom Emily, Ashley, or Ali having to choose from this bunch? I can barely stand watching most of them, and then the normal “one” gets no airtime? This is a joke, it has to be.

  15. This season makes me feel dirty.. maybe it’s Brooks’ hair, but I feel like I need to take a shower : /

  16. Kasey and Rob both make valid points. I do think there are less people watching this season, or at the very least, even some of the “regulars” on here may still be watching but are way less interested and aren’t bothering to comment. There is just something very different and off about this season. I don’t know if they were just extremely lazy when doing the casting or what, but this definitely couldn’t be the “best” 25 guys they could possibly have found for Des (or the Bachelorette in general)

    Did anyone else find last night’s episode more boring than usual? Even the Soulja Boy rap video scenes were dumb. It definitely seems like the “normal” guys are the only ones not getting much airtime. I really hope the season gets a little more interesting.

  17. Just re-read a few of the comments and I also agree with Jacey, Jessica, and Dianne. Sorry if what I said was repetitive to what you all have said! Sounds like a lot of us are in agreement about Des and her season so far.

  18. First to RS: I could have written your self analogy! Which is why we not only love snark, but are snarky! The airplane story about diarrhea of the mouth behind you was hysterical!

    The emails, answers, and comments here have given me the most fun in a while (admitting I have no life goes too far in the public self-analogy venue). Haven’t laughed this hard in a while.

    Poor Des. Not only do they give her the worst set of men to choose from in bachelor history, but she picks a loser after an excruciatingly boring season. Gotta have a little sympathy for the girl. Nah! She should have known Harrison, et.al. well enough by now to know it’s all about the drama and creeps, and little about “finding love.”

    Finally, in jeopardy of caring too much, TY, RS, for bringing us more entertainment than a carefully molded, somewhat expensive network television show!

  19. I think we all agree that the men chosen are not ones who would match up with Des in any way shape or form. Just random guys who apply and are slotted into this bachelorette’s season. Some could have applied several seasons ago and waited their turn. No one putting this show together cares whether Des is compatible with any of the men.

    Plus let’s not forget that most normal men are busy with their jobs/careers and wouldn’t bother with this insipid show to begin with.

    Because Chris appears to be normal (but with only 2 shows in, who really knows), he could be one of the few that are this season. I like his looks. Most of the men including Brooks need a hair cut and a huge hair wash to eliminate the globby, greasy look. A more unattractive bunch could not have appeared for poor Des. I feel for her trying to appear interested in them!

    And those same canned phrases and music…so over the sameness. Repeating date sites and activities is a bore.

  20. Does it bother anyone else that Ali obviously reads Steve’s spoilers each season, and then predicts the winner on her blog, as if she’s just really insightful??
    Annoying.
    Also, Des was cute last season with her plain -Jane hair. Why are they poofing up her hair Now? It looks a little ridiculous like a little girl playing dress up trying to have fancy teased up hair. I mean she is still cute, but the hair does not look good.
    And all those ” Clark kent on steroids” looking guys?? Ewww!

  21. Absolutely nothing wrong with utilizing ‘real’ everyday people as Bachelor and Bachelorettes. I think they have for several seasons now, haven’t they? My point is that Des’ socioeconomic status and that of her family have become some sort of plot twist the producers exploit to the point that it seems apologetic — as if there’s something wrong with it. That’s all I’m say’n. :)

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