The Bachelorette Desiree Recap Including Ratings News & More Bad 80′s (and 70′s) Movie Clips

June 4th, 2013 | 32 Comments | Posted in The Bachelorette 9 - Desiree

Thanks for all the birthday wishes last Friday. I appreciate it. What a birthday. Took my niece and nephew to school in the morning, went shopping then to the gym, then picked them up from school, then attended the championship T-ball game for Nicholas. For those wondering, his team the Angels beat the Yankees 17-16 in their last at-bat. Quite thrilling. And we know that was definitely a T-ball game and score since, well, the real Angels absolutely suck and just got swept at home by the worst team in baseball. Embarrassing. Hell, I’m not sure Josh Hamilton could even get a hit off a tee right now if he tried. You are missed in Texas by exactly zero Ranger fans right about now, Josh.

Ratings are always an interesting topic because they are so much about spin control, it’s hilarious. When the “Bachelorette” premiered last Monday on a holiday, it drew 5.9 million viewers, which was down 27% from Emily’s premiere. And also worse than Ashley and Ali’s by roughly the same margin. Higher ups at the show immediately wanted to make it known on Twitter that it was special circumstances because 1) it debuted on a holiday (those other seasons didn’t), and 2) it went up against the “Voice” (something else it’s never had to do before. So the numbers were going to be down regardless. There’s no way anyone over there could’ve expected to get the numbers of Ali, Ashley, or Emily’s premiere. However, when today’s ratings posted, they can’t be too pleased, as they drew 5.6 million viewers, so it actually got worse. Kinda hard to explain that one away. Now, will ratings increase once the “Voice” ends? Uhhhh, they better hope it does. Now, this doesn’t mean whatsoever that the show is gonna get cancelled next season or go away, but it should raise some eyebrows over there since they haven’t seen numbers like this for the “Bachelorette” in 3 years.

It’s kinda similar to that new couple who is constantly posting pictures of themselves together on social media. Once you commit to that, you do understand that the second you DON’T post pictures, or they become few and far between, inevitably people can see that a break up is headed. Well, same deal here. Remember when Sean’s season premiered, and even Emily’s, and the producers are tweeting out “BachelorNation, you’re the best! Great ratings last night!” Well, when you tweet when you’re happy with the ratings, the second you don’t tweet when the ratings comes out is basically admitting you’re not happy, which is why they haven’t tweeted anything about the ratings in 2 weeks and won’t. What can they say? “Hey, thanks for the 1/4 of our audience that’s checked out of Desiree’s season compared to Emily’s!” This is all the ABC press release said regarding the “Bachelorette’s” ratings last night:

“The Bachelorette” (8:00-10:00 p.m.)
Opposite “The Voice” from 8:00-10:00 p.m., ABC’s “The Bachelorette” finished as the No. 2 series in its 2-hour time period with viewers (5.6 million) and young adults (1.7/5).

You know what last year’s press release said about the episode that aired the first Monday in June (that was Emily’s 4th episode compared to Des’ 2nd):

“The Bachelorette” (8:00-10:00 p.m.)
At 8:00 p.m., ABC’s “The Bachelorette” won its 2-hour time period for the 3rd week running with all key Women demos (W18-34/W18-49/W25-54). Gaining viewers and young adults from its first hour to its second hour, “The Bachelorette” moved up to become the most-watched series in the 9:00 p.m. hour and ranked No. 1 with Adults 18-34, beating Fox’s season premiere of “Master Chef” and NBC’s “America’s Got Talent”-driven “American Ninja Warrior.” “The Bachelorette” registered as Monday’s No. 1 TV series for the 3rd straight week with its core audience of Women 18-34 (2.8/8).

* ABC’s “The Bachelorette” numbers jumped week to week by nearly 1.0 million viewers (6.7 million vs. 5.8 million) and by 11% in Adults 18-49 (2.1/6 vs. 1.9/5).

So yeah, you can see the difference. That’s when they were tweeting like school girls about the ratings. Today? Not so much. A nice, fat piece of humble pie to say the least. You know the best part about all this? My numbers are actually BETTER than at this point in Emily’s season, and frankly, that’s all I care about. Once it starts affecting my numbers and income, then I’ll begin to care about their sagging ratings. Until then, keep on’ keepin’ on. Weeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Speaking of press releases, the episode description for next week is now posted. Here is the meat and potatoes of it:

“Desiree pulls out all the stops and brings in the pros from the National Dodgeball League to teach the guys how to take their game to the next level. After a spirited practice session, the blue team of bachelors takes on the red team at the Americana in Los Angeles. The clash of titans ends up in an enormous heap, sending one person to the ER with a broken bone. How will this affect that night’s after-party? Chris sweeps Desiree off her feet and sparks begin to fly. The two escape for a private concert under the stars by soul/pop/gospel singer Kate Earl.

Desiree is blown away when Chris Harrison informs her that one of the men is definitely not there for “the right reasons” and that, in fact, he left a girlfriend back at home to participate on the series. A total shocker follows when the guy’s girlfriend shows up unannounced. All hell breaks loose and a very visceral confrontation ensues. Can Desiree trust any of the other bachelors? How will she decide who is sincere?

Then it’s time for a one-on-one date with Kasey who is determined to show the Bachelorette what love should be about. Their time together begins with the unusual dance troupe, “Bandaloop.” These artists dance on the side of skyscrapers using a special trapeze rigging. They teach Desiree and Kasey tricks they’ll need in preparation for their guest star appearance. But it is not as easy as it seems and things quickly go south, making it one of the most calamitous dates in “Bachelorette” history.
A sudden windstorm later ruins what is supposed to be a romantic rooftop dinner. Will Kasey recover to get a rose?

Five lucky, rugged guys are schooled in the fine art of cowboy stunts and tricks by the stunt coordinator on Disney’s eagerly awaited upcoming release, “The Lone Ranger,” starring Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer. They’ll be competing for a chance to win a seat next to Desiree in an advanced VIP screening of the movie, in theaters on July 3. One hero-in-training steals Desiree’s heart with his fancy roping and stuntman skills. Who will be the Bachelorette’s “Lone Ranger?” But a group date rose is still at stake at the after-party, and one of the men will impress Desiree enough to lasso it.

Desiree throws a curve at her guys and decides that the cocktail party is cancelled, so it becomes a pool party instead. Tempers flare and there’s a confrontation between the men when one overzealous suitor is caught stealing time with the Bachelorette. The two guys leading the charge would like the sneaky bachelor out of the mansion and far away from Desiree.

At the dramatic rose ceremony, Desiree shows up in a glamorous gown she designed herself – a “Bachelorette” first! She struggles with whom to send home, and one unlucky guy is completely devastated when he doesn’t receive a rose and breaks down. At the end of the night, 13 men will be left in the race to make Desiree theirs.”

Seriously, whoever writes these press releases should be writing romance novels or something. Because they are making something rather average into the greatest episode you’ve ever seen. These are funny. It’s one of the reasons why today’s column is up a bit late. I want to start including the following episodes press release, and it usually goes up around 12:30 CST. So assuming I have the rest of the column done by then, expect future Tuesday columns to be posted sometime between 12:00-1:00 CST.

One final note that you may have missed. The ABC site is no longer having former contestants blog about the show on their site. I have no idea why. Could be a cost cutting move, could be because most of them wouldn’t dare step on the toes of the franchise by making fun of it and they were kinda all the same, or, in my opinion, the comment section got completely out of hand and became a place for the trolls to take over and start being idiots. Not to mention spoilers getting released in the comments section. So basically if you want to hear former contestants opinions on the show now, you basically just have to follow them on Twitter. The only one who I saw write a blog in week one was Sarah Herron, which she posts here. As of my posting, her episode 2 blog isn’t up yet, but I’m assuming it will be at some point today. Last week’s line of her saying Zak W. is “the kind of guy who has probably tried to give himself a blow job” might be the funniest line I’ve heard yet this season, and I’m pissed I didn’t think of it. Lets see if she can top herself this week.

32 thoughts on “The Bachelorette Desiree Recap Including Ratings News & More Bad 80′s (and 70′s) Movie Clips

  1. Fleiss and company are casting men that aren’t desirable. No one wants to end up with a d-bag, so why would women want to watch a show where the majority of the guys are women’s worst fear of ending up with?

  2. My thoughts on last night:

    Des is a nice, sweet, simple girl without a ton of personality.

    Brooks. See above only substitute boy for girl.

    James is kinda handsome in a thick neck football player kinda way.

    The Ben thing is overdone and dumb dumb dumb

    RS, I hate when you insert videos into your blog for filler or comic relief. One is enough.

    Otherwise, let the boring season continue!

  3. Am I wrong, or did Desiree keep saying “Soldier” boy instead of Soulja Boy? After the diverse Bachelor Sean season, this has to be the whitest cast in history. Even the black dude couldn’t dance & was almost whiter than the white guys. The raps were just embarassing…. ya know, some white people can dance and rap….. just not any of the people on this show.

  4. Hasn’t the Bachelorette always competed with The Voice on Mondays? I didn’t think that was anything new this year.

  5. i don’t get it!
    desiree goes from clean cut sean to a feminine loser with bad haircut, oily hair that hasn’t been washed in a week, and looks like he showers once per week(if that)?

  6. I don’t think Brooks’ hair is greasy, I think he just uses product in it. It’s no worse than Drew and James’ wet helmet look. I think Brooks is cute, I wouldn’t mind a haircut, some of his google pics where his hair is a bit shorter definitely ups his hotness factor, but those DIMPLES. Dimples and twinkly eyes are my kryptonite. I think most of the guys seem nice but just sort of dull.

    Zak W. may have given a cheesy gift, but he definitely stepped up his game a bit and showed more of himself. I can’t wait to see Chris more, because I loved his shoe-tying bit when he met Des. Also looking forward to more of Drew, even though he looks like a little boy version of Jake Pavelka; hes still cute and giddy.

    I don’t think Ben is horrible for interrupting Des’ time with Michael, but he does come across as a bit douchey to me. Just kind of arrogant and annoying.
    Other thoughts: I know Brian will be the one with the gf showing up, but is anything revealed about Brydens situation during the course of the show I wonder? We may have to wait til MTL or ATFR.

    I see Brandon and hear the psycho theme in my head. He’s the neediest guy ever.

    Finally, I wonder if we will ever hear Brad or No-Neck Zach speak.

  7. Iheart- Yes, for as long as I can remember it has! Last year I believe the premiere of the Voice aired right after Superbowl, and the Bachelorette aired in the beginning of March..

  8. First…..The Voice….only because this show is so much more entertaining than the Bach. This season is really boring. TEAM MICHELLE.

    Random thoughts
    I find Brooks quite unattractive. The teeth and hair are really unappealing. He does seem to be a sweet guy.

    If that first scene was a preview of Chris’s clothing line, I’m not impressed. It looked like he forgot to take off his pajama top before leaving for work.

    Bryden….If he was buried in the sand up to his neck, someone could have worked on that awful do. The shape of his head reminds me of Charlie Brown.

    Dez and Brooks dancing was so awkward. I have two left feet, so I probably shouldn’t talk.

    Mikey…..I know a Howie, and the older I get, the harder it is to call a grown man Howie. It reminds me of my neighbors growing up, Arfie and Philsi…..yuck.

    I don’t know how I feel about Ben yet. The show is so contrived, it’s hard to tell this early. My gut says he’s a major player and possibly a dbag to women.

    Good recap, RS!

  9. Oh ABC! It’s THE GUYS! That’s the reason for the low ratings. Des is a gorgeous, modest sweetheart. Emily was a pain in the butt. She was high-maintenance, and proud of it!

    These guys are easily the worst batch I have seen yet! So many of the other castings were rich with All-American boys we would be proud to bring home to our parents. This one is just a bunch of cast-offs that you hope will produce drama. That’s not what we want for The Bachelorette!!
    We want romance, sweetness and light! This is our turn for the FANTASY, the Cinderella story. We are not interested in Little Boy Drama. That’s our nightmare…

  10. I do see some resemblance to Billy Drago, but I think Brooks looks a lot more like the guy from Joe Millionaire, Evan Marriott. (But Evan is slightly better looking in my opinion) Anyone remember that train wreck of a show?

    ccrider- nope, didn’t watch Mistresses. If you watched, how was it? It looked God awful from the previews so I stayed away.

  11. Des got the biggest contingent of meatheads I have ever seen on this franchise. They are dull. Unless your idea of fun is to watch dudes pick things up and put them down, while chugging protein shake while slamming their supplements.

    The casting director choked.

  12. cc- I’m with Iheart, “Mistresses” held no appeal for me at all.

    I am going to try “Under the Dome”, I love anything scifi (ish).

    The Voice – I’m not so much a Michelle fan but I LOVED Holly…so sad to see her go. :(

  13. Brooks seems nice–and I do like longer hair when it’s not greasy from product in it–but his voice is so girly. He’s also kind of effeminate in his mannerisms/gestures. I also didn’t like the chunky ring he had on (was that a class ring? Either way not a good look). I wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s gay, maybe bi? But he’s just not doing it for me in the manly department. My fav guy is Michael (manly, good job, cute but still kind of an interesting face), though I wish he’d steer clear of the Ben drama. I also am looking forward to seeing more of Chris because he seems actually normal and like he has a good sense of humor from his intro to Des. So many of these guys need to go, pronto: Brandon (too many issues), Ben (arrogant and manipulative, politican vibe), Mikey and James (meatheads), Drew (gay), Brian, Brad.

    Do you guys think Des having to ask Bryden to kiss her means she’s more into him than he is into her? I’m thinking about the spoiler that he leaves on his own and if he already knows he’s not interested or what. Curious to see that play out.

    Anyone interested in that upcoming show “Whodunnit?” I might check it out (Clue’s my fav board game after all, ha).

  14. Hey everyone…it’s been awhile. This season has been pretty underwhelming so far (the whole 2 episodes it’s been on). I found myself fast-forwarding through the majority of Monday’s episode.

    As a side note…I’m convinced that Mikey and James are the same person.

  15. Elizabeth, normally I would say no about Des having to ask for the kiss first (I think Emily asked Jef for a kiss first), but in this case, I’m going to assume yes. Mainly because it sounds like the men weren’t too impressed this season with Des- I guess it was a two-way street. I’m kind of wondering if some men dropped out when they found out that Des was the Bachelorette? Not sure why, but I just have a hard time believing they wouldn’t have a better group of guys for her. Maybe the guys that made it were the ones that production thought she would weed out?

    Hi, Jill! You made me laugh out loud with your assessment that Mikey and James are one and the same.

    Thanks for the recap, Steve. It doesn’t surprise me at all that this is an all-time low for the Bachelor franchise. I’m actually trying to get through the season. I now think Lindsay would have been a better choice, and there is no doubt in my mind that the caliber of men on her season would have been > Des’.

  16. kasey….your words are so true as far as “getting through” this season. It’ like a bad habit this season. I a very bored, but keep hoping it will get better.

    Randais….I liked Holly a lot too. I think it may come down to a Michelle/Danielle finale, but who knows. This show is quickly becoming a favorite of mine. This is the first season I’ve tried to watch or record every show.

    SYTYCD,,,,is anyone watching? This is a great show too.

  17. iheart & randais…..Mistresses intrigued me as a nice summer escape show….sexy, steamy, soap opera kind of stuff! For me, it got off to kind of a slow start but I guess it was more to introduce the characters and set the backgrounds for each of them. However, the ending of the first episode and the scenes for upcoming episodes has me interested enough to tune in.

  18. Okay, correct me if I’m wrong, but Steve, in the episode-by-episode recaps you say it’s BRIAN with the girlfriend, but then in this recap you say it’s BRYDEN? It’s definitely Brian with the girlfriend, he’s the one in the pictures.
    Just wanted clarification!

  19. @randais YES! Watch “Under the Dome”. I am a Stephen King fan and have read the book multiple times (just finished again to make sure it’s fresh in my mind). Trust me, that show is going to be INCREDIBLE!

  20. @theraphosidae: Steve said they both have gfs. Brian’s is the one who shows up and confronts him. But Steve said Bryden went into the show with a gf.

  21. Karynr – Anythings possible. While I like the Swon Brothers, I was shocked that they stayed over Holly :\. I, too, LOVE SYTYCD…I’ve been watching for years.

    Ever – well there you go, I didn’t even know there was a book! I think the previews look interesting. Look forward to dishing with you once it starts.

    Eliz – I, too, used to be a die hard Clue fan. I may check that one out as well (Whodunit, I mean).

  22. The rating really aren’t surprising. Been watching since Jason’s season and I’ve never seen a more boring season than this. There have been times when I wasn’t interesting in the lead, but this one takes the cake. Des is so boring I can’t stand it. And what’s with all these meat-heads they cast this season?! blehck!

  23. Having watched a lot of the Bachelor and Bachelorette seasons, I actually liked “Ready for Love” (RFL) on NBC better. Too bad they moved it to the NBC.com site after only two episodes. The guys were far better candidates, and the MatchMaker’s screenings actually got terrific girls. Fleiss and Co. are still casting bimbos most of the time. Des is a nice gal, but that’s it. Not much passion or sparks. So far, it’s a boring season. The whole format of RFL is better. The only shortcoming is that they need to show more and longer interaction between the guys and the women. Especially the final three. Also since that show wrapped in mid August last summer, the three guys and their F1s had to be in hiding for 10 months. That’s far too long. Tim Lopez and Jenna are still going strong and look like they will be heading for the alter. I was impressed by the show. Too bad NBC pulled the plug. But….a lot of morons live at NBC.

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