Thanks for all the birthday wishes last Friday. I appreciate it. What a birthday. Took my niece and nephew to school in the morning, went shopping then to the gym, then picked them up from school, then attended the championship T-ball game for Nicholas. For those wondering, his team the Angels beat the Yankees 17-16 in their last at-bat. Quite thrilling. And we know that was definitely a T-ball game and score since, well, the real Angels absolutely suck and just got swept at home by the worst team in baseball. Embarrassing. Hell, I’m not sure Josh Hamilton could even get a hit off a tee right now if he tried. You are missed in Texas by exactly zero Ranger fans right about now, Josh.
Ratings are always an interesting topic because they are so much about spin control, it’s hilarious. When the “Bachelorette” premiered last Monday on a holiday, it drew 5.9 million viewers, which was down 27% from Emily’s premiere. And also worse than Ashley and Ali’s by roughly the same margin. Higher ups at the show immediately wanted to make it known on Twitter that it was special circumstances because 1) it debuted on a holiday (those other seasons didn’t), and 2) it went up against the “Voice” (something else it’s never had to do before. So the numbers were going to be down regardless. There’s no way anyone over there could’ve expected to get the numbers of Ali, Ashley, or Emily’s premiere. However, when today’s ratings posted, they can’t be too pleased, as they drew 5.6 million viewers, so it actually got worse. Kinda hard to explain that one away. Now, will ratings increase once the “Voice” ends? Uhhhh, they better hope it does. Now, this doesn’t mean whatsoever that the show is gonna get cancelled next season or go away, but it should raise some eyebrows over there since they haven’t seen numbers like this for the “Bachelorette” in 3 years.
It’s kinda similar to that new couple who is constantly posting pictures of themselves together on social media. Once you commit to that, you do understand that the second you DON’T post pictures, or they become few and far between, inevitably people can see that a break up is headed. Well, same deal here. Remember when Sean’s season premiered, and even Emily’s, and the producers are tweeting out “BachelorNation, you’re the best! Great ratings last night!” Well, when you tweet when you’re happy with the ratings, the second you don’t tweet when the ratings comes out is basically admitting you’re not happy, which is why they haven’t tweeted anything about the ratings in 2 weeks and won’t. What can they say? “Hey, thanks for the 1/4 of our audience that’s checked out of Desiree’s season compared to Emily’s!” This is all the ABC press release said regarding the “Bachelorette’s” ratings last night:
“The Bachelorette” (8:00-10:00 p.m.)
Opposite “The Voice” from 8:00-10:00 p.m., ABC’s “The Bachelorette” finished as the No. 2 series in its 2-hour time period with viewers (5.6 million) and young adults (1.7/5).
You know what last year’s press release said about the episode that aired the first Monday in June (that was Emily’s 4th episode compared to Des’ 2nd):
“The Bachelorette” (8:00-10:00 p.m.)
At 8:00 p.m., ABC’s “The Bachelorette” won its 2-hour time period for the 3rd week running with all key Women demos (W18-34/W18-49/W25-54). Gaining viewers and young adults from its first hour to its second hour, “The Bachelorette” moved up to become the most-watched series in the 9:00 p.m. hour and ranked No. 1 with Adults 18-34, beating Fox’s season premiere of “Master Chef” and NBC’s “America’s Got Talent”-driven “American Ninja Warrior.” “The Bachelorette” registered as Monday’s No. 1 TV series for the 3rd straight week with its core audience of Women 18-34 (2.8/8).
* ABC’s “The Bachelorette” numbers jumped week to week by nearly 1.0 million viewers (6.7 million vs. 5.8 million) and by 11% in Adults 18-49 (2.1/6 vs. 1.9/5).
So yeah, you can see the difference. That’s when they were tweeting like school girls about the ratings. Today? Not so much. A nice, fat piece of humble pie to say the least. You know the best part about all this? My numbers are actually BETTER than at this point in Emily’s season, and frankly, that’s all I care about. Once it starts affecting my numbers and income, then I’ll begin to care about their sagging ratings. Until then, keep on’ keepin’ on. Weeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
Speaking of press releases, the episode description for next week is now posted. Here is the meat and potatoes of it:
“Desiree pulls out all the stops and brings in the pros from the National Dodgeball League to teach the guys how to take their game to the next level. After a spirited practice session, the blue team of bachelors takes on the red team at the Americana in Los Angeles. The clash of titans ends up in an enormous heap, sending one person to the ER with a broken bone. How will this affect that night’s after-party? Chris sweeps Desiree off her feet and sparks begin to fly. The two escape for a private concert under the stars by soul/pop/gospel singer Kate Earl.
Desiree is blown away when Chris Harrison informs her that one of the men is definitely not there for “the right reasons” and that, in fact, he left a girlfriend back at home to participate on the series. A total shocker follows when the guy’s girlfriend shows up unannounced. All hell breaks loose and a very visceral confrontation ensues. Can Desiree trust any of the other bachelors? How will she decide who is sincere?
Then it’s time for a one-on-one date with Kasey who is determined to show the Bachelorette what love should be about. Their time together begins with the unusual dance troupe, “Bandaloop.” These artists dance on the side of skyscrapers using a special trapeze rigging. They teach Desiree and Kasey tricks they’ll need in preparation for their guest star appearance. But it is not as easy as it seems and things quickly go south, making it one of the most calamitous dates in “Bachelorette” history.
A sudden windstorm later ruins what is supposed to be a romantic rooftop dinner. Will Kasey recover to get a rose?
Five lucky, rugged guys are schooled in the fine art of cowboy stunts and tricks by the stunt coordinator on Disney’s eagerly awaited upcoming release, “The Lone Ranger,” starring Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer. They’ll be competing for a chance to win a seat next to Desiree in an advanced VIP screening of the movie, in theaters on July 3. One hero-in-training steals Desiree’s heart with his fancy roping and stuntman skills. Who will be the Bachelorette’s “Lone Ranger?” But a group date rose is still at stake at the after-party, and one of the men will impress Desiree enough to lasso it.
Desiree throws a curve at her guys and decides that the cocktail party is cancelled, so it becomes a pool party instead. Tempers flare and there’s a confrontation between the men when one overzealous suitor is caught stealing time with the Bachelorette. The two guys leading the charge would like the sneaky bachelor out of the mansion and far away from Desiree.
At the dramatic rose ceremony, Desiree shows up in a glamorous gown she designed herself – a “Bachelorette” first! She struggles with whom to send home, and one unlucky guy is completely devastated when he doesn’t receive a rose and breaks down. At the end of the night, 13 men will be left in the race to make Desiree theirs.”
Seriously, whoever writes these press releases should be writing romance novels or something. Because they are making something rather average into the greatest episode you’ve ever seen. These are funny. It’s one of the reasons why today’s column is up a bit late. I want to start including the following episodes press release, and it usually goes up around 12:30 CST. So assuming I have the rest of the column done by then, expect future Tuesday columns to be posted sometime between 12:00-1:00 CST.
One final note that you may have missed. The ABC site is no longer having former contestants blog about the show on their site. I have no idea why. Could be a cost cutting move, could be because most of them wouldn’t dare step on the toes of the franchise by making fun of it and they were kinda all the same, or, in my opinion, the comment section got completely out of hand and became a place for the trolls to take over and start being idiots. Not to mention spoilers getting released in the comments section. So basically if you want to hear former contestants opinions on the show now, you basically just have to follow them on Twitter. The only one who I saw write a blog in week one was Sarah Herron, which she posts here. As of my posting, her episode 2 blog isn’t up yet, but I’m assuming it will be at some point today. Last week’s line of her saying Zak W. is “the kind of guy who has probably tried to give himself a blow job” might be the funniest line I’ve heard yet this season, and I’m pissed I didn’t think of it. Lets see if she can top herself this week.