Reality Steve

Dr. Reality Steve

“Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” the New Bachelor-Inspired Dating App & an Audition Video

Insert requisite “I love your site”, “you’re the only reason I watch”, “why don’t you have a FAQ page?” here. I do want to add that we are the same age (I am one of the few women that will admit this!) and more ironically, we converse and compose in very similar verse. I am fluent in English and sarcasm and I imagine if there were to be a female-version of your column I would be the one to write it. I get all your references to 90210, the great movies of the 80’s and 90’s, and when you were on the recent Short Circuit kick I laughed out loud at all the jokes. I don’t have to watch the video links because I vividly remember almost every reference.

If you’ve seen a sharp increase in readership from the midwest you can thank me. I have sent no less than 20 or 25 people to your site because they want to know where I get all my information. I happened to be talking to a couple of friends at our high school’s semi-state baseball game (my son was playing) and some of the housewives overheard the conversation; in about 3 minutes I had the attention of all the moms (and probably a few dads that won’t admit it). So if you need to know where to send my commission checks, I’ll follow up with another message with my bank account information…

One question: My 20 year class reunion is in about 6 weeks and I’ve been pretty nostalgic (might have to do with my son’s recent graduation from high school too). If you asked my 18 year old self where I’d be today, there’s no way in hell I would come close to guessing. So where was the 18 year old Steve headed? With the internet, cell phones/smart phones, and even the evolution of the computer practically nonexistent then, I’d love to know what your plans were.

Love the Monday live tweets too. I subscribe to four people on mobile notifications – my two kids, our local news station, and YOU.

Comment: Thank you for the support. Glad you’ve turned other people on to the site. That’s basically how this whole thing got started 10 years ago.

Interesting question, and you and I have something in common. My 20 year is this summer as well. The organizer set up a FB page and we’ve already gotten a pretty good response. People already posting HS pics on the page and telling old stories, etc. I think we had about 550 in our graduating class, and we had about 100 show up for our 10 year. I’m guessing this year with Facebook making it easier to get a hold of people, I’d be shocked if we didn’t exceed that. Should be a fun weekend.

As for what an 18 year old Steve wanted to do? That’s easy. The only thing I ever wanted to do once I got to college and realized my basketball career was over, was host my own sports talk radio show. Got into the business directly out of high school working for Jim Rome, was on the air in LA by 24 years old, was unceremoniously fired from the station in 2002 (ironically enough for writing a profanity laced column on a paid website), worked at a couple other stations after that, but realized after a while I did not want to do that as a full time job. I’m as a big of sports nut as there is, and trust me, if someone was gonna pay me to talk about it every day, I most certainly enjoyed it for a while. But then I realized it wasn’t something I wanted to make a career of. But 20 years ago, yes, that was the only thing I wanted to do with my life.

I’ve been watching Bachelor/ette since the beginning but only found you a few seasons back. My friends that refuse to “spoil the surprise” just don’t know what they’re missing!

I don’t have a question for you. Just thought I’d share: I realized today as I was reading your updates that when you mention these guys by name, I have no idea who you’re talking about. That’s never happened before! These guys are so boring and so completely interchangeable that their names haven’t even stuck in my head. Without a doubt, the least interesting, most forgettable and most unfortunate Bachelorette and bachelors EVER. Thank you for making it FUN.

Comment: I think it also might have to do with the fact there were a Zak and Zack, and a bunch of dudes whose names start with the letter “B.” Not to mention every guy is dark haired pretty much.


After reading your column, I flipped through some of the entries of the I’m Hungry blog by Kate. I did not watch the bachelor way back then, but it did strike me as interesting that way back during Andy’s season the producers used their different manipulating techniques, and It’s probably safe to say that the show has gained a lot of popularity since that season. Makes me think that they have probably upped the ante in the interim, which is hard to imagine based on her blog (which is a very choppy read by the way, you have much more talent for writing). It is a surprise that people want to participate in the show considering no business owner in their right mind would hire someone who had a history of being on the show over someone who hadn’t. Having a history of going on the show waves a red flag to me as a medical practice administrator that by hiring a former bachelor contestant you can expect irrational, impulsive behavior. Not to mention everyone has seen a gross, drunken version of these people on television… to think that it is “politically correct” for other people to keep their facebook content clean…?

Love the trashiness of the show, love your recaps, and most importantly, I can’t believe people are crazy enough to pursue a “career” that way!

Comment: There will never be a shortage of people in this world who are looking to be on TV and try and get a foot in the Hollywood door, hence the reason this show will never have a problem finding people to come on their show.

Hi Steve,

I have two questions for you.

Do you have any idea how on earth the bachelor/bachelorette remembers the contestants names during the early rose ceremonies? It’s a lot of names to remember after only having known them for a short time.

Secondly, does Chris Harrison have any power or is he just their puppet and just there for show?


Comment: 1) I think they have a micro chip implanted in their brain at the beginning of the season that computer generates every guys name on a digital screen that they see out of their eyeballs. You know, like the Terminator. Something like that.

2) Depends what your definition of “power” is. He’s the mouthpiece for the show and the one who gets interviewed the most, so he absolutely can sway people’s opinions one way or another by things he says about situations and contestants. But as for the show itself, he thinks he has a lot more power than he does. He really doesn’t do much.

Hey Steve!

I have kind of a weird question and I don’t think it has been asked before. When a contestant gets hurt on the Bachelor (which happens more than you would think which is weird) do they have to use their own health insurance? Or does the show pick it up? In which case I am going to apply to become a contestant on the show so I can stop being robbed by my health insurance.

Comment: In instances like Brooks, or Ames when he was taken to the hospital for a concussion during his group date, that’s covered by the show. However, if one of the guys is out screwing around in the pool at the mansion and jumps off the diving board and injures himself, that’d be on him and his insurance.

Do you think some of the bachelor/ette marriages would have been successful – even in this crazy venue – if the lead would have made the right/different choice? For example, Jillian should have said yes to Reid when he came back. Jason should have picked Molly the first time, Ali was meant for Frank, Jake should have picked Tenely etc..

Comment: I’m not the right person to ask about that because I don’t care. But I know there are plenty of crazies out there who will discuss it with you all day every day. I’d stay far away from people like that. Bad for your health.

Hey, it’s a reader from one of your favorite states…Arkansas!!! Do you ever wonder if the handlers are paid commission for how much they can get contestants to blubber, dish and bash? Or maybe even if they receive bonuses at the end of a season for the most outrageous things said by a contestant under their watch? Can’t you imagine a “Bachelor(ette) Yearbook” for each season with a Handler’s Standout page:

“Most likely to convince a contestant they are in love”

“Best manipulator”

“Most likely to receive RealitySteve’s ‘Heartless Handler’ award”

You could probably come up with a number of better ones.

Comment: I’m sure the handlers are paid a flat rate. They’re just doing their job. It’s mostly producers that are the ones who handle the ITM’s and get the good info or reaction out of contestants.

Reality Steve,

I’m not sure how you still do these “Ask Reality Steve” questions, but I was just sitting around with a girl friend of mine talking about the Bachelorette. We were wondering,

1) What does production do with the guys/girls who get kicked off the show early on? Do they take them to a halfway house until filming is done, or what?


2) Do the girls do their own hair and makeup?

Comment: 1) They go home immediately.

2) Yes. Unless you’re the lead, then you get a stylist.

Hey Steve,

Definitely starting to think the best thing to come from Sean’s season is me finding his sister’s recipe blog. Desiree is a snooze fest, AshLee isn’t going to be finding true love with Brandon on the Bachelor Pad and Sean and Catherine are now saying all the standard lines (“getting to know eachother” “taking our time”) of Bachelor couples about to break up.

So here’s my question: have you heard anything about what’s really going on there? They always struck me as very mismatched but now I’m just starting wonder if Sean is just a smarter/better acting Pavelka. If he was really this hard working/Jesus loving/down to earth family man who just wanted to settle down, why did he go on DWTS and why is he still in LA?

Comment: Your guess is as good as mine. I have no idea what’s going on with those two, why their tune has changed since the ATFR, or why they’re still in LA or where they’re headed after that, if anywhere.

Would ABC let you win this sweepstakes? Or let someone bring you as a guest?

If the sweepstakes is run by a reputable promotions agency and you got selected, you could sue ABC if they didn’t let you redeem the prize!

During Emily’s season, several people said that Chris B. was a doppelganger for different celebrities. I never saw it — thought he looked like Frankenstein, minus the neck bolts.

Comment: First off, I would never enter the competition. Secondly, if someone I knew won and asked me to go, they’d never let me in the doors. However, I wouldn’t even want to go anyway. Everyone in attendance signs a form saying they cannot spill what they witnessed. So technically, actually having me in the audience for a taping would be the only way they actually could shut me up, which is the exact reason I wouldn’t do it.

Forgive me if someone already brought this up….but have you ever noticed how similar Brooks and Des look?? They could be twins if she cut her hair a bit! They are freakishly similar in the looks department….

Comment: They do look like they could pass as brother and sister. I just want to see if at some point Brooks’ hair gets longer than hers. They should make it a competition between them. Lets see, what will last longer: the amount of time it takes Brooks’ hair to reach the length of Desiree’s or how long their relationship will last? Tough call.

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  1. bostoncpa

    June 20, 2013 at 12:49 PM

    To the emailer who has a problem with people having 2 cell phones- that makes no sense to me. I have a work cell and a personal cell phone, and so do a lot of people I work with. The company doesn’t require it, but when I was using one phone for both purposes, it basically resulted in me constantly checking work emails and never getting a break from the office (including vacations, since I wasn’t going to leave my phone behind). So, just the fact that someone has two phones means nothing. I also never give out my work number except to clients and coworkers. I think the only problem with that you wrote is that the guy wouldn’t give out his personal number. It’s really not that fact that he has two.

  2. matchmaker

    June 20, 2013 at 3:38 PM

    The “At First Sight” app, just like The Bach, likely will not produce a very high percentage of successful relationships. I say this because I’m developing a dating app for release next year. These dating app developers just do not seem to get it. The most popular dating apps and are really poor at matching couples into long-term soul-mate kinds of relationships. My app has already demonstrated good results, using’s Ready For Love as a public proof-of-concept test bed. Was able to predict the F2’s for two of the bach’s before the second episode of RFL was even aired. One F2 (Sara) even “liked” my choice (see if you don’t believe me). I think folks have just come to expect poor experiences with online dating apps. I’m open to any suggestions also. So follow me if you have any. The app is only for folks who are only interested in finding a long-term soul-mate kind of relationship. Which I am very good at identifying, and is the core part of this brand new technology.

  3. CarolH

    June 20, 2013 at 4:32 PM

    Loved Sabrina’s video…she is adorable and I hope she gets on the show.

  4. agatha bee

    June 20, 2013 at 6:24 PM

    I got about a minute of the video watched and went into sugar shock. She’s too goofy for me to take seriously.

  5. Athena

    June 20, 2013 at 6:44 PM

    I’m glad that Steve knew that “poem” was two syllables, not one 🙂 Just another reason to know that it’s good that he’s writing these recaps and not me.

  6. JovisMom

    June 21, 2013 at 10:01 AM

    @ matchmaker – I disagree w\ you 100% on the app not being a good one. I met by boyfriend on that and we have been together for 2 years now. Talking moving in and marriage. The POF is garbage – I’ll give you that.

  7. bigfatwoman

    June 21, 2013 at 10:27 AM

    Watched the Sabrina video…..adorable in a certain way, but also a little much for me. I wish sometimes that I could be like that….all smiley and cartwheel-y and quippy and looking up to the sky-e….but alas it is just not me.

    I suspect she has higher aspirations than the Bachelor.

  8. someonesomewhere

    June 21, 2013 at 11:39 AM

    To the person whose boyfriend shaves his legs… You would be surprised by why cyclists shave! It is not because leg hairs get tangled in the wheel spokes or to improve streamlining. It’s actually because of “road rash.” Cyclists fall and skid across the road or path, ripping up their skin and getting rocks and dirt into the cuts. If they have body hair, it gets in the blood and dirt and sticks under the scabs. The hairs irritate the healing skin just like ingrowns. Its gross and painful. They learn to shave after the first time this happens! The serious cyclists I’ve known shave their legs, arms, and any other hairy body parts. My ex-boyfriend, still a wonderful guy, is a cyclist and he shaved before every ride because hair in road rash is so awful. Don’t worry about it!

  9. randais

    June 23, 2013 at 2:47 PM

    “Crossing Lines” and “Whodunnit”, both premiering tonight, who’s watching?

  10. elizabeth82

    June 23, 2013 at 9:42 PM

    @randais: I watched “Whodunnit.” Love Clue, love Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None–enough for me to tune in. I found it entertaining–just weird that apparently the person chosen to be eliminated has to act out an elaborate death scenario–what’s up with that? Weird, no? And one of those people is really an actor? Or what? Those things are confusing/unexplained by the show.

  11. ccrider

    June 24, 2013 at 5:50 AM

    @matchmaker and jovi…..I met my boyfriend on POF and he’s been such a blessing in my life for almost 2 years now.

    @randais….I watched Whodunnit and thought it was kind of hokey. It felt too much like a scripted show….like they have it all planned out already who’s going when and how. I’ll probably keep watching but only because there’s nothing else on Sunday nights to watch.

  12. everglades

    June 24, 2013 at 11:38 AM

    I wonder if Steve will mention Emily O’Brien’s engagement too?! poor guy is shooting 0-2 now in that department.

  13. randais

    June 24, 2013 at 4:50 PM

    Elizabeth and cc – it WAS confusing but I’m still curious. I agree with it being a bit ‘hokey” but nothings more “hokey” than the Bach/ette so I could do worse ;D. Interesting how this is playing out, when you consider everyone (well almost everyone) will have to “play out their own death”, I mean they can’t ALL be actors so they must be well rehearsed you’d think. At the end of the show it stated, “Eliminations are based on the performance of participants on a written exam testing their knowledge of the crimes”. We didn’t get to see that, the exam. I do think the dramatics and hysteria are over blown but I’m curious to see how the cougar plays into it as well as the explosion that appears to throw a body way up into the air.

  14. randais

    June 24, 2013 at 4:56 PM

    Under the Dome, premieres tonight. I AM looking forward to this one, hope it lives up to my expectations :D.

  15. randais

    June 24, 2013 at 7:16 PM

    Under the Dome – Really? They had to show a cow being sliced in half! Ewwww.the gore factor is already rivaling The Following. Jury’s still out on this one.

  16. randais

    June 24, 2013 at 7:19 PM

    Best lines of the night, so far:
    “What if the government built this thing?”
    “Doubt it”
    “Because it works”.

  17. everglades

    June 25, 2013 at 6:58 AM

    *Under the dome*
    all in all: good first episode
    in comparison to the book: s**t. They’ve changed a lot that I’m not so sure will work out for them. It changes the storyline completely. Not liking that at all.

  18. JovisMom

    June 25, 2013 at 10:00 AM

    @ ccrider – You are a lucky one in that case. I have several friends who met guys on POF… All of them were nightmares. Several lied about things apperance, marital status, kids, etc. One actually stalked my friend for some time and she had to get a restraining order. In MOST cases you get what you pay for.

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