The Bachelorette Desiree Recap Including Next Bachelor Talk & A Change to One of the Spoilers

July 2nd, 2013 | 31 Comments | Posted in The Bachelorette 9 - Desiree

Get all your “Reader Emails” and “Dr. Reality Steve” emails in today because the column will be going up tomorrow. I’m headed to CA for the 4th of July weekend as I do every year (and also because my niece Olivia’s birthday is tomorrow). Now, you might ask “What do you get a 9 year old for her birthday?” Lets just say I already gave Olivia her bday present last month, when I was there for my birthday. You see, Olivia is obsessed with all things Selena Gomez right now. Like, OB-SESSED. We’re talking pictures on the wall, sings her songs all day long, and even uses my Iphone to download the 1:30 clip that Itunes lets you hear, even though she pretty much owns all her songs. So when her concert tickets at Staples Center for November went on sale back in April, that’s all she wanted, and kept bugging my sister for them. So I said I’d take care of it, but not to tell her and I’d give it to her on her birthday. Well apparently, my sister didn’t want to have 3 months of her asking mommy if she’d bought the tickets yet, so I swooped in and saved the day back in May. She had no clue I had bought them for her, and her response was priceless.

UPDATE: Apparently this video isn’t working since I got it off my sister’s Facebook page. She has videos set to public, but not sure why it’s not working. I’ll try and get it uploaded to YouTube when I get to CA tomorrow.

I’m not sure what’s more amusing about this video: Olivia almost passing out (when she gets that excited cry, she starts to lose her breath, yet we had no clue that’s what was happening when she was tapping her feet. We thought that was excitement), Nicholas asking her if those are “tears of joy,” or Nicholas handcuffing himself and not knowing where the key was. Even though the concert isn’t for another 5 months, I’m sure I’ll hear about it all weekend, or at least every song Selena sings. “When you’re ready come and get it, na na na na, na na na na, na na na na…”

Obviously, the biggest response I’ve gotten on Twitter and email since last night has been, “What’s the deal with that promo? It shows all five guys in a limo, and it looks like Drew leaves.” Lets remember people that EVERY season, they show promos that lead you to believe something that isn’t there. All they are doing is splicing together different pieces of footage to exaggerate a story that may or may not be there. With that said, here’s what I can tell you. After the first long promo of the season aired back in episode 1, I even tweeted that it showed me nothing I didn’t already know and that my work here was done. I was wrong. Over the course of the last month, I’ve been emailed numerous times by people saying the first promo of the season had Drew on a date with Desiree in Antigua, and how could that be the case if he left at hometowns. Obviously, I overlooked that part of the promo and wasn’t paying enough attention, and it was even further clarified last night that Drew was in Antigua when they show him talking to Des on the beach. So for the last month, yes I was made aware that Drew was in the final 3 but didn’t change the spoiler because I was trying to figure out why my Zak spoiler was wrong. The information I was told about Zak was so strong, I just didn’t see how he couldn’t have been in Antigua. Once I rewatched the original promo and saw Drew in Antigua, I was confused as to how this Zak info could’ve been so wrong. I’ve gone to a couple of sources and I’ve come up with nothing. Haven’t been able to get any clarity to it other than Zak did not make it to the overnights, and he was eliminated after the hometown dates, and Drew makes it to the final 3. It’s been updated in your “Bachelorette Desiree Spoilers” post. If sometime in the next month I get an answer to why I was told that, I’ll let you know. But since I haven’t gotten it the past month that I’ve been looking, then I’d be shocked if I get it going forward. It happens. That spoiler has been fixed.

What does this mean for the rest of the spoilers? Nothing really. So because I was originally wrong with the Zak/Drew elimination, could the ending be wrong? Sure. But it’s not. Chris and Brooks are still the final two guys, and she got engaged to Brooks back on May 8th and they are still engaged to this day, despite the promo wanting you to believe she picks no one. That didn’t happen. As for the Drew footage of them sitting on the beach, and him saying “This isn’t going to work,” Desiree crying, Chris Harrison confronting her saying “What do you want to do now,” I honestly don’t know what any of that stuff is. I know my ending is 100% solid with a Chris/Brooks final and her being engaged to Brooks, so it could be a whole bunch of nothing. I’ll see what I can find out and when I do, I’ll report it. But I wouldn’t freak out about what you see in promos. This is nothing new. They do this every season. Remember the letter last season that I didn’t know about which turned out to be a whole lot of nothing? Maybe Drew leaves early, maybe she eliminates him early, I don’t know. What I do know is that Desiree isn’t engaged to Drew, so any details surrounding his exit, while being played up last night as this huge thing, don’t have much of an effect on the outcome with her being engaged to Brooks. If/When I hear something, I will let you know. Still got 5 episodes to go before this is over. Lets not get too carried away off of a promo.

Which brings me to my point about the next “Bachelor.” By reading last weeks “Reader Emails,” you know the most asked question was, “Who’s going to be the next Bachelor” out of this group? Good question. Lets face it, Desiree’s ratings are the lowest this franchise has seen on the “Bachelorette” in 5 years. So if people don’t seem to care about Desiree and her guys, would they really be interested if one of her guys becomes the next “Bachelor?” I mean it’s simple: If we didn’t watch her season, why would we watch his? All valid points. I’ll say this: Regardless of the ratings this season being down, casting any guy from this season, whether it be Drew, Zak, or Chris, they’re still gonna have a bigger built-in fanbase going in to next season rather than an outsider. As much as people seem to be down on Des’ guys, each one of those three I have mentioned have PLENTY of fans out there that would watch them as the next lead. Outside of casting a celebrity, if you cast entrepreneur Joe from Colorado, besides whatever he looks like, what does any of the audience know about him? Nothing. Not how he speaks, how he acts, how he walks, talks, etc. So that’s their dilemma in trying to cast a complete stranger. The viewers have zero emotional attachment. And if the guy doesn’t light up the screen the first episode, they’re more likely to turn away.

Frankly, I just think that for the first time in about 10 seasons, the “Bachelor” producers swung and missed on casting. Is it all on Des? No. Is it all on the guys? No. It’s a mixture of both. I think this is the worst cast, from 1 thru 26, that they’ve had since they started recycling the leads. And you know what? It happens. You’re not always gonna hit a home run. The question now is, do they hit the panic button and change up the formula that’s worked so well for them over the past 10 seasons and cast an outsider as the lead, or do they chalk this season up to a poor job of casting and stick with the formula. I have no insight on who the next “Bachelor” is or which way they’re leaning right now, but in terms of are they going to stick with the formula and recycle from within the franchise, my answer would be “yes.” And based on what looks like an emotional Drew exit, and the way Chris Harrison basically blew the guy in this interview, it surely sounds an awful lot like how he was talking about Desiree during Sean’s season. I’ve said for a while I think Drew will be the next “Bachelor” just based off of his backstory, knowing that he got far, he’s a guy that they seem to like, and now seeing the promo from last night surrounding however he leaves the show, gives me even more reason to believe he’s being set up for it. Plenty of time before that decision is made, but as of now, that’s where I think they’re headed. On to last night…

31 thoughts on “The Bachelorette Desiree Recap Including Next Bachelor Talk & A Change to One of the Spoilers

  1. Ugh. Even the “drama” this season is so boring. They tried to make James out to be a Bentley-sized villain but he actually came off as kind of sympathetic. His crime was speaking the language of the real world instead of bachelor lala land like the other guys. In the real world it would be ridiculous to be so committed to a person you’ve been out with once that you can’t even imagine ever dating anyone else. But in bachelor land you pretend that this is not only reasonable but the noble thing to do (while secretly hoping you’re the next bachelor and end up with hotter girls than Des).

  2. Goodbye Juan Pablo, you gorgeous hunk of a man!

    I slept through most of it, waking up right before the rose ceremony. Perfect timing. I’m not even going to bother watching it again. TOO BORING!

    I just wanted meathead James to leave. I could care less how or when it happened.

    RS is right about Drew being the next Bach. CH is pimping him on another blog. He said, “This is the week everyone will fall in love with Drew.” NOT. I have no interest in watching a season of someone who looks like their 12, wearing too much hair gel and possibly wanting a boyfriend versus a girlfriend. I will not watch that season. Dudley Doright is cute in a little boy way, but as a lead…..no way.

  3. James…not attractive at all…sweating through his too tight shirt. Reminded me of Sean last season when he looked like he was about to burst through his short sleeved shirt the night he was eliminated…after thinking “there is my wife” just before Emily axed him for Jeff and Arie!

    Drew is a little girl and this is the best they can come up with as next bachelor! Won’t be a must see season for me if it is true.

    Zak sparkly teeth and those eyes that seem to pop open! He is scary looking.

    Still see nothing even remotely attractive about Brooks in any way shape or form! We all know that relationship will fizzle quickly especially when he discovers all the fun James and Kasey are having with the Chicago chickies!

    Again, didn’t see all the show (preferring my book) so missed some of what Steve recapped. Looks like I didn’t miss much.

  4. I enjoyed this recap more than the episode, so thanks for that, Steve. This season is seriously dragging. Des was my fav on Sean’s season but this is a weird group of guys. Why did the James drama have to span the whole episode? It rivaled the Jersey episode with how boring it was.

    I’ve had no problem boycotting previous seasons of “The Bachelor” when I don’t have any interest in the lead (Brad 2.0, Jason, and Jake) and I will probably do so again if Drew is the next Bachelor. He’s gay (with a side of emotional immaturity), so what’s the point? If they have to pick any of these effeminate guys, I can stand Zak the most. I did like Michael but now he’s just annoying me.

  5. What a bunch of whiny little girls, especially Michael, Kasey and Drew. They get their panties in a twist because meany James says that there is life after the Bachelorette? Gasp! How dare he.

    Also, does it drive anyone else NUTS that Reality Steve won’t tell us the guys who do not like Des, yet he keeps slipping that in left and right in all of his recaps? Hopefully it’s not just me, because it’s annoying. Either tell us or stop talking about it.

  6. Oh my! Steve you’re a great uncle. Zak in my opinion would make the best bachelor of this group. And I liked how he, Brooks, and Juan Pablo didn’t get involved in the James drama.

  7. I agree. Drew is a little girl. I can’t picture him as the next bachelor. He’s too feminine.

  8. The wife and I made it to the 45 minute mark before falling asleep this time. Well, she made it about 25 minutes and I was only half paying attention. I thought that maybe as we got to know the guys better it would get better, but it isn’t. I’m trying to see the attraction to the metrosexual Brooks. And, I guess to a certain type of woman, they’re just going to like an effeminate guy with girl hair. I suppose it’s no worse than Emily enjoying a little boy who rides a skateboard and pulls his love quotes off of greeting cards. But, at least Jef (or the editors) hid it a little better…. OK, not that much better.

  9. Did anyone notice the decline in Des’s looks? Those dark circles around her eyes are back & she is starting to look a little skeletal. Someone feed that girl a BLT, stat! I mean, she’s nice. But what do you say to her? She doesn’t have anything at all to say…. she just has above average looks, a nice smile and a good back story. Other than that…. nothing. I can see why the guys aren’t into her. With Emily, there was an edgier person inside that southern belle exterior…. and well, the girls were spectacular. They have to do better next time. Too bad we never got Emily O.

  10. On James, I don’t think he did anything terribly wrong other than speak freely in front of a bunch of little girls. But James as a type is disgusting. He, like Mikey, would appeal to the girls that like spray tans, gold chains, steroid fed muscles and STDs. Yes, the Jersey Shore groupies. When ugly New Jersey chicks go for that stuff, I can live with it…. but are there really other girls out there that like his type?? If so, wow.

  11. Regarding the guys that didnt like Des, I guess as they get eliminated RS will make his reveal. Frankly except for dainty ‘wall kiss wannabe’ Drew I dont see any of the guys being super in to her.
    Meanwhile that WTF preview, shown at the end, was nothing new. Someone leaves mid season and then comes back at the end to claim the rose and lady. Drama and Scene. YAWN.

  12. blueice, Gotcha. I guess that makes sense…haha. It just seemed like he was teasing us with it.

    I guess the guy who left in Germany, the guy whose GF showed up, Mikey and James aren’t into Des. I’m all caught up then.

  13. Rob22–totally agree about Des having nothing to say. That really sums up the entire problem with her as a lead. She really tries, you can just tell she is a boring person to talk to.
    Reality Steve is irritating me again. He is dangling secrets and never telling them for no reason. I get why he gives a hint and then holds off on the big reveal for a long time to drum up interest, but to just not tell things he knows because it’s not his place or whatever is annoying. Also he refuses to ever speculate on the motivation behind the most interesting decisions made on the show and I love speculation. But to his credit he did say how he felt about whether James really had done anything wrong or not which is not usually his style, but I did appreciate.
    I really, really hope he is wrong about them recycling a contestant to be the next bachelor. I’m ready for fresh meat! But I am sure he is right.

  14. “Drew got furious. Like, so furious to the point where his hair almost un-parted itself. Yeah, that bad. For a second I thought he was gonna haul off and throw his glass of milk across the room, that’s how bothered he was.”
    classic RS quote right there. and brings up the superman image yet again. isn’t superman kinda white toast too? I sort of have some expertise in how archetypes and myths work. 75 years of superman mythology can’t trump thousands of years, so I haven’t seen the show, but perhaps they are going to another source in order to better capture the collective. speaking of that, this week’s theme, and RS unconscious female bashing with references to men “on their periods”, is how reversing the myth (really cinderella is a reversal, in all of known history there’s never been a situation in which women control their romantic destiny) causes role reversal in general. and how that role reversal can get your panties in a bunch apparently (another negative reference to feminine/masculine). I rather enjoyed the men grappling with this situation this episode, minus the 45 minutes of the James vs. boymen. Lets face it men, in this brave new world we are dealing with old archetypes battling a new situation where women have more power than they ever have. Des herself is so confused by this that she can’t help but react positively to a manly man like James, who is actually more in touch with himself and more real than the others. and RS, just to keep it real, being on your period is no joke, and women need men’s support to calm all of these hormones that allow us to carry your seed to its fruition. just sayin…

  15. Count me in as one who had an early crush on James. He has a very handsome face, but he’s all meathead from the chin down….not usually my type, but definitely not my type now.

    It’s not what he said, it’s the fact that he was dumb enough to say it. His pathetic back peddling was a total turn off.

    Des is a nice girl without much personality. She has a pretty face and a nice figure, but the way she walks kinda pigeon toe, bow legs with ankle weights is very un sexy to me.

    I think ABC screwed up on casting her more so than screwing up casting the guys.

  16. I’ve watched every season since Jillian, but this season is unwatchable. Does Des know any words besides “aww” and “yay”? Does she have any interests? Does she know any jokes? Apparently not.

    The guys are a yawn, too, but I wonder if that’s just because they’re bored to tears with the lead. I sure would be.

    I would love to see them cast someone goofy, nerdy, sassy, INTERESTING on this show. I guess all those folks are too smart to sign up for it? Seriously, if they would hire RS to help with casting the show might just be watchable again.

  17. Interesting that they cut out any “good-bye” footage of Kasey this week. Usually the cast-offs get to say a few words!

  18. You are killing me with the Brooks, Brooks, Brooks stuff!! However…thank you for bringing some anticipation to this season!

  19. About that Brooks, Brooks, Brooks… I have a theory. Maybe, Brooks, Brooks, Brooks is the only thing we hear Desiree saying from the Fantasy Suite. And maybe, there’s the word Oh in front of it. Just my own speculation :)

  20. @rl1991: No, I don’t think so. Steve hinted that the “Brooks, Brooks, Brooks” moment is next episode and we’re not at the fantasy suite dates yet. Unless your comment was a total joke.

    Brooks is so effeminate, by the way . . . This season is off.

  21. Hi, everyone!!! Hope you all are doing well.. it’s been a while since I checked in, so I just wanted to stop by and say hello : ) I am not watching this season.. I gave it a solid 3 episodes, and I tried my hardest to get into it, but it just wasn’t happening for me for some reason.. and that’s weird bc I have not loved every season, but I always, always watch regardless.. this is the first time I have ever not watched, not even channel surfed by it to get a quick peak..

    Anyway, hope everyone is great.. and for those continuing to tune in, you are all troopers!

    Any other good shows on right now? I tried Under the Dome and thought it was ridiculous..

  22. Hi Kasey. I kind of like “Whodunnit,” ABC’s new show on Suns. at 9. Only two episodes so far. If reality show combined with murder mystery appeals to you you might check it out. I prefer books to TV but have actually tuned in for this one. ;)

  23. Hey, Elizabeth! Yes, I have heard of it, but haven’t checked it out yet and wasn’t sure when it was on.. I didn’t know there was a reality aspect to it? I do like murder mysteries, so I might have to give that one a try.. thanks! : )

  24. I don’t understand why so many women drool over Drew and say he looks like a Ken doll. Sure, he has blonde hair and is tall, but there’s something off about his face- his eyes are really close together, and his nose is weird. He’s kind of a butterface. James on the other hand, has a gorgeous face. But I agree he is too meathead-y, if you will, from neck down. Not so impressed by any of the men this season. As for the poster who said Emily Maynard was gorgeous, she had duck lips (injected), thin bleached blonde hair, and fake boobs- they should have a natural beauty, who is accomplished (doctor, scientist, what have you) be the next bachelorette, there are plenty of them.

  25. Natasha, for the record, I never said Emily was gorgeous. I said the “girls” were spectacular. (cue laugh track). Anyways, I don’t think anyone would argue that she was far more interesting than Des. As far as looks, on Emily, I agree with you…. she’s pretty fake & not my type at all. I like the poster who stated that the only words Des can say are Wow and Yay! That is hysterical and true, if you throw in the stock “amazing” comment she makes about two dozen times a show.

  26. One thing is now obvious and no longer subject to question. After the Munich and Barcelona episodes the cat is finally out of the bag. Desiree may be a basically good person; but she is not what she’s been advertised to be … a devout born-again Christian with strong convictions and high standards.

    For those of you not wise to the ways of German beer: The average alcohol content of German beer is 18%. The standard 12 oz. can of American beer is 6.5%. You do the math. In Munich, Des took on a half-gallon of local brew and never even blinked. Having a glass of wine at the weekly Rose Ceremony cocktail party is one thing … but what she did in Munich was something entirely different. The gal is an experienced guzzler.

    Then during the Barcelona episode, Des had to be “bleeped” out several times to edit out bad language. And it’s not the first time she’s let her tongue slip. I caught a slip the very first night; after greeting one of the men as he exited the limo she looked squarely at the camera and blurted out a loud and clear “Damn!”

    Any questions I’ve had about Des have now all been resolved; and now I have no doubts at all. Desiree is a fraud and the audience is a victim. Despite anything you hear to the contrary, Desiree is the stereo-typical California fun-in-the-sun Bikini Beach girl and is definitely into the Hollywood lifestyle. I would describe her as being 27 going on 16, with the maturity of a sophomore.

  27. If Steve is correct about Drew being groomed as the next Bachelor, then I think the production is behind the buying of his block of fake followers and maybe even paying for it.

  28. mcbb, I’m sorry, but you are INSANE. The average alcohol content in German beer is from 4,5% to 6%. I have NO idea where you got your 18% from. Oh, and I’ve lived in Germany for 5 years now. Trust me. Anyone can drink as much as Desiree did without blinking. No reason for judging her for that.

  29. rob22, Emily’s “girls” weren’t spectacular, lol. Men in the US are so easily impressed by fake, plastic boobs. If you want to see women with gorgeous REAL curves, much shapelier than her, you should check out Lebanese/Arabic women, Persian women, or the actresses in Bollywood. They are gorgeous, and genetically blessed with real curves, not the fake plastic balls women here get! Nothing compares to real, natural beauty.

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