Been a while since we’ve had a large “Reader Email” bag like we do this week. Right around 50 or so, with pretty much the underlying theme of “Hey, isn’t Brooks/Drew gay?” I’m amazed at how many are convinced that Drew is. I mean, he does have some effeminate tendencies, but I’m not gonna sit hear and say the guy is gay. I have no clue. If you’re asking if I’ve had any former lover come forward and tell me behind-the-scenes that they know so-and-so is gay, the answers is no. I haven’t heard that. But there is quite a strong contingent out there that’s convinced not one, but a few of Des’ guys are gay. People seem to be fascinated by it and they’re coming to me for answers like I know. I don’t. I don’t really know why the show would knowingly cast gay men on a show where you’re trying to find a wife, but whatever. I guess stranger things have happened. I just tend to focus my attention elsewhere. Like to one of the “Dr. Reality Steve” emails this week where a guy admits to me that he had an affair and cancelled a wedding a month before it took place. I know I ask for your emails, and they sure are fun to hear, but every week I’m still amazed by some of the things people tell me. Keep it coming though. Dr. Reality Steve is always in session. Ready or not, here are all your “Reader Emails”:
Long time reader and first time emailer. This might be a broken record but since the topic of Jef being The Bachelor arose, I wanted to ask something that’s been bothering me. So I’ve been watching The Bachelorette for years now, and every season I’ll have a favourite guy or just think a guy is really amazing. Then post show, come to realize how advantageous they are in hooking up with every girl. But I still had hope that not every guy on the show was like this, that it was somehow possible that someone could slip through the crack and just be normal and a freaking “good guy!!”
There always seems to be the question of sincerity in this show – are they doing this for love. Well, I really enjoyed Emily’s season because I knew she was sincere in finding love and wanting to complete her family. I was pleasantly surprised to find a guy like Jef on the show because he seemed like the most sincere and genuine guy that had ever been on the before. Boy was I wrong! Yuck. Now I’m a total cynic.
I don’t follow him on social media but I saw a post his ex-business partner wrote and it seemed like a diss on Jef, indicating that fame had gotten to his head. He appears to be the total opposite of what was shown on the show.
So how did he have everyone fooled??
The producers must have had an inkling that he wasn’t ready for a wife and kid. Did they think he was a good choice for Emily? Did the producers like him? And if they did like him then, when did they turn a corner, if any?
Comment: I guess because he’s good at fooling people. His business partners aren’t the only ones who thought that.
Lets just say he’s not looked at very fondly within that franchise after everything that’s gone down since his season ended. I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 1,000 times: This show changes people, and it’s never for the better. Jef is a walking example of that.
To help you out, here’s the best advice I can give you. These are people appearing on a TV show that you know nothing about. Never get attached to any contestants like that because you have no idea what they’re really like, despite whatever edit they get. The biggest jerk edits might actually be good people and ones who get great edits are never what they are cracked up to be. I’ve never quite understood people who get attached to people from this show by nothing other than watching 2 hours of edited footage every Monday night. I just know they do. My advice is don’t. It’s not worth it. It’s a silly TV show to make fun of, and should be looked at as nothing else.
I have been a long time reader and fan of yours, so I feel like all of my questions have been answered at some point. With all the negativity from last week, I thought it might be fun to play a little game of “contestant word association”. Would you be game for it? Just answer the first word or thought that comes to mind. You can add or subtract if you want…these are just a few of the ones that stand out to me.
Selma Alameri (Bachelor Season 17) – Sexy
Tierra Licausi (Bachelor Season 17) – Insane
Kacie Boguskie (Bachelor Season 16/17) – Super sweet
Jaclyn Swartz (Bachelor Season 16) – Funnier than I thought
Arie Luyendyk Jr. (Bachelorette Season 8) – Opportunist
Doug Clerget (Bachelorette Season 8) – Nothing is popping into my head
Ryan Bowers (Bachelorette Season 8) – Different, but funny
Jef Holm (Bachelorette Season 8) – See Arie
Ames Brown (Bachelorette Season 7) – Bizarre
Tenley Molzahan (Bachelor Season 14) – Spunky
Jesse Csinsak (Bachelorette Season 4) – Douchetard
Trista Rhen-Sutter (Bachelor Season 1, Bachelorette Season 1) – Motherly
Comment: I enjoyed this game.
I’m going to preface this with, I know you’ve said over and over that this will never happen and I know the reasons why and I don’t think you are wrong. I get it. But just for the sake of argument….hear me out….
I think Arie should be the next Bachelor. I really do. Why? Why would they cast him when there has been so much dirt dug up since Emily’s season? I’ll tell you why. He’s gorgeous. He’s charming. He’s the perfect lead for a show where the guy is supposed to date 25 women and we’re supposed to not hate him. Yes this is shallow (and I assure you I am NOT a shallow person), but he has the looks and the charm to be able to make the women who actually put faith in this show’s “reality” believe that he’s sincere. All he’d have to do is throw out a couple “I was young…but I’m really ready to settle down and find real love”, “I’ve changed”, “I just realized that partying isn’t for me anymore and I want to find a great woman to spend the rest of my life with”, etc., and flash his smile, and I guarantee you all will be forgiven. And you can’t say I’m not giving people enough credit….because you blast the people who believe this show is for real all the time. And for the rest of us who know this show is ridiculous and just watch for the entertainment factor…uh…why wouldn’t we want a sexy guy cast as the lead? We know the couple won’t stay together anyway. I would certainly have no objection to watching Arie make out with people every week. Is he scum? Sure. It’s not like I’M going to date him. But it’s similar to watching a prettyboy actor in a movie. Eye candy, pure and simple.
Like I said, I know it won’t happen. Just something I was thinking about after I read the Jef Holm for The Bachelor nonsense. Ugh. He was boring. Everything he said sounded scripted. And hey, it’s obvious the powers that be read your site, so I might as well put in my vote.
Love your site! I haven’t been able to make it through a full episode this season. I quit trying on the third one and have just been reading your blog each week. This is the first season I haven’t watched the episodes (Brad 2.0 was the first season I watched). Thanks for being entertaining even when the show isn’t!
Comment: Everything I said as to why Jef won’t be the “Bachelor” can pretty much apply to Arie. They are basically one in the same. Those two are like Batman and Robin. Yes, Arie has a definite fan base, but his reputation since the show precedes him and it wouldn’t be believable that he’s actually interested in finding a wife. Sure, people with half a brain understand that’s not what the show is about, but the show still needs people to THINK it is, and nobody would buy Arie in that way outside of his fans. Not a chance.
I feel like I should say I read/enjoy your site but isn’t that a given. I am sure everyone who emails you reads your site and most of them enjoy it or they wouldn’t read it.
Anyway… you’ve commented a few times about how the ratings are down for Des’s season. How does that translate to your site numbers? Are you seeing as much internet traffic as you normally do?
I typically read all of your posts. And before an episode I will re read the spoilers to refresh on who is going home that night… and then read your recap the next day. However, this season I am not checking in on Monday like I normally would. I have it in my head who the final four are from the spoilers and I don’t care who is going home each week. I am still watching the show, more ff than normal and reading your re caps. But like I said I am checking your site one less day each week.
Thanks for the entertainment!
Comment: I compare season to season, because advertising dollars for the beginning of the year are most lucrative than during the summer months. So far after 6 episodes, Desiree’s season is the highest grossing “Bachelorette” season I’ve ever had, and that’s really all I look at. Her viewership may be down compared to Ali, Ashley, and Emily’s season, but when it comes to where it matters for me the most, and that’s dollars, she’s slightly ahead of Emily’s season at this point.
Hope you read yesterday’s column since there was a change in the spoilers.
First I wanna say I love your blog, and I’ve been reading faithfully for a while and I’m almost positive you have never touched on this question that I’m about to ask….then again I could be wrong it wouldn’t be the first tine
If the cameras on the bachelor/bachelorette are constantly rolling as they say, then why don’t they ever tape and air what happens the next morning after the over nights? Like how long are they together that morning? Do they get breakfast or do they get shoved out the door before the sun comes up? Just curious…
Comment: Because watching them get up with morning breath and talk to each other and eat breakfast isn’t really exciting TV.
I’ve been following your blog and the show for a while now, and I was able to watch most of the episodes and make fun of it alongside your blog. This is the first season where I just can’t watch the show! I couldn’t agree more with your reader emails. After episode 1 and 2, I couldn’t stomach anymore episodes. Not only are the guys pretty boring, Des is even worse. It’s so bad that I can’t even find anything to make fun of, except for Des being annoying for the entire hour. I can’t wait for this train wreck of a season to end and hopefully I can enjoy next season a bit more.
Comment: You mean Des being annoying for the entire two hours. It’s been a two hour show for a while now. Just wanted to make sure you’re not skimping yourself on an hour of pain you have to endure.
Hi Reality Steve,
Love your site! If I leave your site up in my browser (so every time I open my iPad, reality Steve is already open), does that only count as 1 hit to your site? Should I close out of it when I’m done reading?
Looking forward to next Tuesday’s column; not necessarily Monday night with Des, though!
Comment: As long as you read it, it doesn’t matter to me. You can come to my site once a month, or every day. It only reads your IP address once and that’s considered one unique view.
Hi RS! I read your blog religiously during my breaks at work. ABC should be giving you royalties since your blog is the only reason I am ever watching this season. You are hilarious and I look forward to every Tuesday! Anyways, I just wanted to confirm what everyone else is saying that Des’ season is far and away the worst season ABC has ever had. I have watched every episode of every season of the Bachelor and Bachelorette since the first season. This week was the first time I have ever not watched it on Monday. In fact, it’s Saturday and although I know what happened since I read your blog, I am only halfway through the first date. I think it’s a combination of Des being kind of boring and average and horrible casting. Des is cute and peppy but she is no Trista, Emily, DeAnna, Jillian, Ashley or Ali. (I’ll leave out Meredith and Jenn because they were almost as horrible as Des).
Here’s my question: Why on earth did they cast Desiree? I know people liked her ok, but the viewers never seemed that attached to her or invested in her. Was it just because Lindsay said no? I really hope they will pick a guy from a past season for the next bachelor or I think ratings will continue to plummet.
Keep doing what you’re doing!
Comment: Lindsay had a boyfriend and I guess they figured AshLee was too bat sh** crazy to be in that role. God, could you have imagined the tears every episode with her? It would have been nauseating.
Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand why Desiree was cast. I had no problem with the decision at the time, and even applauded it. But it just hasn’t panned out for them in the ratings, and she just doesn’t have a dynamic personality in the least bit. Doesn’t make her a bad person, just makes her not the most enticing lead they’ve ever had.
Thank you VERY much for including the link to Jason & Molly’s podcast. It was VERY interesting.
I have a few questions:
1) Why do you think they are doing podcasts? It didn’t appear there was any advertising on it.
2) How do people find the podcasts? I tried looking at what you had on your site and being technologically challenged I can’t figure it out. Are you going to include a link to all their podcasts on your site? If not, would you please let me know how to access them in the future.
3) Do you know where Jason is currently employed and what he does? I don’t need to know the employers name, I’m just wondering what he does for a living. Because they make it sound like they are living the normal middle class American life where Daddy works an 8 to 5 job with a stay at home mom. If so, VERY good for them . . . to have had the willpower to not have gotten caught up in being fame whores.
4) Lastly, sort of surprising with her behind the scenes knowledge, that Molly would think that Kardashians is ‘real’. I am 100% positive that they also have episode scripts or stories that Kris wants to do. I don’t think the wording is scripted per se, but that they are all told what the story is supposed to be, then they all roll with it. (except for Chris Humphries, of course. . . he wasn’t told it was just a story and he was being used . . . just a naive lovestruck young guy)
Thanks very much for all the info you share on your site Steve!!!
ps. Just have to take another shot at that fame whore KK. Does she and her baby daddy not realize that their nickname for their daughter, Nori, actually means seaweed?
Comment: 1) I’m not sure. Sounds like they’re having fun doing it though. I’m sure they’re being paid by KIRO radio to do it.
2) I don’t have the link saved, but if you go back to the column last week, I had the link that brought you to the page which had all their podcasts on it.
3) I remember being told but off hand I don’t recall where.
4) I didn’t hear Molly talking about the Kardashians, so I can’t really speak to that. No way she actually thinks it’s “real,” does she?
A couple of questions/thoughts for you:
1. I’m surprised Jason and Molly haven’t gotten in trouble for the info they are releasing on their podcast. I just listed to episode 7 and it was full of tidbits about the casting process and things I’m sure the producers don’t want the general public to know about filming.
2. I know you’ve alluded to knowing a LOT more info about certain contestants and different things the producers do on this show. How do you decide what info to share? I’m not trying to get more info out of you or criticize what you do share. I’m just curious what your process or “cut-off” point is in determining what to share with us.
Comment: 1) They aren’t under contract anymore for anything, so I don’t see what trouble they can really get into.
2) All depends on who gave it to me, under what circumstances they gave it to me, and if they tell me not to publish it. Sometimes I’m told stuff in confidence and told to never talk about it, and I don’t. I just keep it in the back of my head for future reference.
Clearly I’m too stupid to post on your site, because I have tried to sign up twice, wait forever and never get an email. Anyway – what do you think of the chances that Arie might be the next bachelor? I agree, once Jeff Holm dated college girls, he got the creep factor. But Arie plays it as a guy who has dated around and around and around, but can’t get it right. Seems like it is right up their alley.
Comment: “Dated around and around” including two women from this franchise almost back-to-back of each other in Selma and Courtney? Not happening. Wouldn’t be believable.
I have always respected your insight to the bachelor/bachelorette seasons, and I frequent your site more often then I watch the shows themselves. But I do wonder why you tend to dodge certain questions regarding certain past contestants. Even when they were in “their moment” you seemed to have evaded direct questions. I respect your right to do so, I am just curious if it is a legal maneuver or if you feel you don’t have accurate info to pass on.
Questions that so many of your readers seek, such as several I saw here on your current postings, like why is Jef Holms no longer with People Water, and ive seen questions regarding Arie Luyendyk Jr that you evade. I have to say it has always seemed that something happened with the ending of their season, that even today everyone dances around the truth. I certainly know you don’t care for the Arie, i tend to agree with a lot of your take on him, but you almost outright refuse to answer direct questions about him and instead give a quick answer as to say, next question. Why the side stepping when it comes to these guys? I realize they’re in the past, but many of your loyal viewers turn to you for valid answers. You have done this side stepping in previous seasons, but none quite like the Emily season. If its you are complying with a legal request, then just say so.
I totally agree, the producers have to know better then to bring back Jef as the next bachelor, he clearly has not shown an ounce of maturity since leaving the show, but I do wonder if the age of viewers plays a role in bringing back someone they know will capture their fan base that has dwindled since the Emily season.
Sure appreciate all you do to keep your viewers informed, as I said i’m a loyal reader.
Thanks for your consideration of my questions.
Comment: Side stepping when it comes to Jef and Arie? I think I’ve been pretty open about how I feel about both of them, so not sure what you’re alluding to. Plus, a lot of it goes back to stuff that I know, but can’t prove. It just becomes a pissing match between myself and their crazy ass lunatic fans that because I can’t show proof, it must not be true, and I’d rather not engage with such idiocy. First off, in some instances I DO have proof, but I’d rather not share it because it was given to me in confidence. Secondly, saying because I don’t have proof means it must not be true, might be the single most idiotic claim someone can make against me and my site. When I release the spoilers at the beginning of every season, do I have ANY proof of them? Outside of dates that include pictures, no. But does 98% of it usually happen? Yes. So showing proof isn’t something I need to do to let you know something did happen or is going to happen. I think I’ve built up my credibility enough to this point where you know if you read it on this site, it probably happen or will happen. That’s pretty ridiculous.
But when you’re talking about stuff that’s never gonna make it to television (like Arie and Jef skirt chasing), yeah, I could share every single story I’ve been told (some by the women directly involved) but there’s no point to. I know what kind of guys they are and I don’t care for them. That simple.
First on Desiree’s season Drew is sweet but probably not straight and Michael needs to be punched. Has the man smiled once this season or is it just non stop glares at other men? What a drama queen! Seriously, if any woman is interested in him after watching this season, then I’m worried about my gender. These men make me so happy to be married and no longer dating. Every single season there’s been maybe two or three guys that I thought “hmm if I was single he’d my type.” This season: zero.
My question is totally unrelated but since you listen to Jason and Molly’s podcast, has he ever mentioned what he does for a living? I know since his season he tried to start a few charities but I don’t think they panned out. Just curious!
Comment: Ha ha…Jason’s profession seems to be of interest this week. I forgot what it was.
Hello! You may answer some of these questions in your column tomorrow, but I wanted to write them out before I forget.
1) Why did Kasey not get an exit interview? He had much more air time than Juan Pablo so it was odd that Juan got one and not Kasey… Maybe they couldn’t make him cry?
2) What happens with Drew? I know they edit the previews to be dramatic, but it sure seemed like an actual thing. Is it that he’s a homosexual?… I don’t think that would surprise anyone.
3) Based on your sources, how much did Des like James? Do you think he would have made top four if not for his verbal diarrhea?
4) Lastly, this isn’t a question, but I really hope Chris is the next bachelor. Zak is too silly and has chipmunk cheeks, Michael is so annoying, and Drew is effeminate to say the least.
Comment: 1) Not every person does every episode. Are they doing those “Diaries of the Departed” on ABC.com this season? I haven’t looked. They usually do every season.
2) There’s our first “Drew is a homosexual” reference on the column. More to come.
3) That I’m not sure of.
4) I don’t see Zak as the next Bachelor in any way.
I am going to assume the big news Drew has for Des is that he is actually a homosexual and deeply in love with Michael. At least I hope so. It would explain a lot. I’ve never seen so many effeminate men in one single season of the Bachelorette.
My question: Do these people coming on these shows just up and leave their jobs?? What in the hell kind of job allows that?! I personally think that the contestants, with normal jobs, that get eliminated must be more sad that they are going home to no job and no income than lost (potential) love. I can’t imagine going to my boss and saying “Yeahhhh, I am going to leave for a while. Great, unpaid opportunity on a dating reality show”. I think they would fire me on the principle alone of me thinking that was a good idea… Just a thought. Or maybe I’m just some poor soul that feels stuck in a depressing desk job.
Steve, you rock. I don’t care how boring Des is, I am a die hard Bachelor fan and your commentary makes me happy. Thank you.
P.S. Since you are a dog lover, I think a dog park would be the perfect place for you to meet a nice lady.
Comment: There’s reference #2 about Drew.
Most of them have jobs which will allow for it. It’s not like any of these people are running Fortune 500 companies. Lets be honest here, these aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer.
Wondering what your take is on this man, James, who apparently understands the real nature of this competition. I believe he developed real feelings, and Des gave him a break because she knows the workings of the show. I think she probably felt pressure to get rid of him from the other guys, and let him go because her connections were stronger with others. I am proud of Desiree, because I think if that were not the case, she would have fought longer to keep him. I think she was crying more from the disappointment of the process, and was probably going to let him go eventually, even though she liked him.
Seems to me the other men ganging up are really drinking the production Kool-Aid, and/or just taking an opportunity to knock each other out. Did these men take some cue from Emily about watching her back? She was a privileged “southern belle” and I think these guys going overboard, if for those reasons, are idiots. I believe James came in with swagger, didn’t expect to find the emotional connection he did, and was sent packing by some self absorbed idealistic, fantasizing- even delusional, men who thought it was their job to protect Desiree. Michael G needs to save his aggression for the courtroom, not personal relationships.
I don’t think James was a good fit for her, but this drama was ridiculous and unfair. I know you say Brooks is her choice, but I think Chris would be the best match for anything long-term.
Anyway, just saying that I don’t think James is a bad guy, and hope he and Mikey have fun and find some good girls in the future.
Comment: Pretty much my sentiment from yesterday. James was thinking what any rational person who goes on this show would think about. He just chose to verbalize it to a bunch of girls who went running to Des, even though those guys are lying when they said that post-show opportunities never popped into their head. It pops in to EVERYONE’S head.