Ohhhh, we’re getting closer. Closer to the Aug. 5th finale. You know what that means? Like clockwork, every single season, the closer we get to the finale, the more rumblings you start to hear about the spoilers being wrong. Here we are a little less than 3 weeks away from the finale and I’ve had emails over the course of the past 10 days or so telling me these four things: 1) Desiree is engaged to Brooks 2) Desiree is engaged to Drew 3) Desiree is engaged to Chris and 4) Desiree is single. Without fail, every single season this happens, and for the most part, every single season the ones that aren’t the spoiler I’ve given out have ended up being wrong. I expect nothing different this time around. People I guess just get bored so to drum up interest, they start putting out opposite endings so it’ll get chatter going about the season. I’m also not oblivious to the fact that the “anti-spoilers” being thrown out are most likely coming from within inside the show to try and get people to not believe the spoilers that have been out there for two months. I’ve come to expect it. It’s the same song and dance every season. Lets just all enjoy these last few weeks and wait for Aug. 5th to happen, shall we?
Quite a few “Reader Emails” this week, with topics ranging from whose house they filmed Brooks’ hometown at, more thoughts on the boring season that is Desiree, more gay talk, and one of my favorite “Dr. Reality Steve” emails ever because a woman is seemingly living a real life “Saturday Night Live” sketch. Enjoy…
I really need to get this off my chest. Aside from this cast being the worst I’ve ever seen on the show, I am completely shocked by how dumb these people are. Between Brooks and Desiree’s date during which they kept coming up with “adjectives” that were actually VERBS to Chris’ horrendous poetry, I’m embarrassed for all of them. I mean, isn’t knowing the difference between an adjective and a verb about as basic as grammar gets? And what’s the deal with the poetry? So the mortgage banker is a poet and he didn’t know it? And just when I thought I was going to vomit from Chris’ poorly-executed iambic pentameter overload, Chris and Des proceeded to write the most 3rd-grade level poem imaginable together, immortalize it by putting it into a bottle and then litter by tossing it into the ocean. This entire thing is a train wreck and ABC should be embarrassed.
I know we haven’t had Rhodes Scholars in past seasons and this wouldn’t be the first grammar fail, but there were so many moments in this last episode that were just too embarrassing to watch. For the life of me, I don’t understand why they chose Desiree as the bachelorette and this group of guys is without a doubt the worst and most uninteresting cast I’ve seen on the show. And don’t even get me started on Drew – my gaydar is OUT OF CONTROL with that guy. When they walked together for their one-on-one time during the two-on-one date, they were almost frolicking together arm-in-arm like he was her gay BFF (and I have plenty of them so I know how it goes). Either the casting department was on pills or it was opposite day during casting, but there is NO WAY I buy that they didn’t pick up on the gayness of this cast. There is not one guy in this group I would even consider dating, if for no other reason than I couldn’t trust him around my guy friends!
Oh, and one more thing: please tell me you don’t believe that Zak is actually 30? Unless he has slept in the tanning bed for the past five years, there’s no way he’s a day under 37 … he looks like a leather handbag that was accidentally washed and tossed outside to dry in the sun for 10 days, only to be thrown back into the washer again and then soaked in dirty water for 3 days. There are so many things this season that I wish I could un-see.
Comment: You need to not be so shy in your emails. Please, tell us how you really feel.
I usually watch the Bachelor every season, I even watched Ashley’s horrendous season, but I cannot sit through an episode of Des’s season. We have tried, but are bored to death beating ourselves silly with the remotes and just have to turn it off. Why is it so terrible?? Sean’s was pretty bad too to be honest…. I thought so much less of him after his season. Yuck. But I do still read your blog every week and read the spoilers ahead of time. I read that you said so many people have mentioned to you how they hate this season and I just had to chime in and say they are CORRECT. I don’t watch it anymore.
What are some other shows you watch? That you watch that you actually enjoy?
Thanks for at least trying to make The Bachelor interesting.
Comment: I’m currently enjoying “America’s Got Talent,” “Catfish,” “Couples Therapy,” “Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition,” “The Jeselnik Offensive,” “Inside Amy Schumer,” and anytime SyFy wants to re-run “Sharknado,” I’m there. Like tonight.
I’ve always read you posts and I think they’re great. You’re the only guy that can make The Bachelor and Bachelorette more interesting. I watch the Bachelor/ette thing with my wife on Monday nights and the other day I thought of something involving Brad 2
After Brad’s second season all the Bachelor/ette’s exes and you do the exes math, you’ll end in Brad.
Bachelor 15: Brad Womack
Bachelorette 7: Ashley Hebet Brad’s ex-girlfriend
Bachelor 16: Ben Flanjk. Brad’s ex-girlfriend’s (Ashley H.), ex-boyfriend.
Bachelorette 8: Emily Maynard. Brad’s ex-fiancé
Bachelor 17: Sean Lowe; Brad’s ex-fiancé’s (Emily) ex-boyfriend.
Bachelorette 9: Desiree Hartsock (boringness person to every have their own season of television on the planet); Brad’s ex-fiancé’s (Emily) ex-boyfriend’s (Sean) ex-girlfriends.
Brad 1 has some exe’s as well.
Bachelor 11: Brad Womack
Bachelorette 4: DeAnna Pappas; Brad’s ex-girlfriend
Bachelor 13: Jason Mesnick (broke up with Melissa and they got back with Molly and now she’s his wife) ; Brad’s ex-girlfriend’s (DeAnna) ex-boyfriend
Bachelorette 5: Jillian Harris ; Brad’s ex-girlfriend’s (DeAnna) ex-boyfriend’s (Jason) ex-girlfriend
Also, did you notice that on Emily and Desiree’s seasons that the 1st guy out of the limo (Sean and Drew) is the guy eliminated after overnight dates.
Comment: Well, I’d say you can play six degrees of separation to Brad mainly because he’s been the only person to be on twice, so yeah, I see what you’re saying. But if Brad was only on once, it wouldn’t be relevant.
I am an admitted reality TV junkie and have watched the Bachelor/Bachelorette every single season except this one………I couldn’t garner the interest in Des, could care less if she finds “love”. So, as the advertisers demographic, I would like to send out this wake up call
I think the producers need to shake it up a bit. Remember Byron’s season, where there were 2 Bachelor choices and the ladies picked which guy they liked best? something to put a little suspense or twist in there because if I hear “our most dramatic rose ceremony ever” one more time I will try to strangle Chris Harrison
I would like it if they would ask the fan’s who they would like to see as the lead instead of them assuming that they know who we care about, was never interested in Des but her brother was a small moment of TV greatness.
And quit drawing out each episode with recaps. If I am watching the women tell all, I have most likely seen the season, have a favorite and know who I am pulling for, and I don’t need you to waste 20 minutes of my time with re-caps of their journey of love. DVR fast forward button is getting worn out.
Next season, for the limo exits, have the lead sitting in a chair facing away from the guys. they can’t see the “dates” but can ask questions and hold a conversation and based on that choose which 3 people go home without seeing what they look like
Or, let the lead see the “behind the scenes” footage. Seeing someone when they first wake up in the morning, or drunk, or handling the boredom and frustration that might come with the living situation is the way to really get to know someone and how they would handle “real life” If we are to believe that these people really want to find “love”, then they should make the situations more real. Give them the choice of a “chick flick” or a guy movie and have them decide which one movie they can see, or have them decide together where to go for dinner. I’m tired of Cinderella crap. Put them in a messy house with a teething toddler and have them clean the house, make dinner and put the child to bed in a certain time frame in order to win a babysitter and a night out, that will help you find your help mate. Or, send them out on a date and have the car break down, they have to either fix it or find their way to a gas station without killing each other – real life
Justin Bieber’s mom was on the View yesterday and she seems……. un-smart, so hope Chris is enjoying that……….
For everyone wanting a gay season, there was a show on either Fox or CW, one of those, where the lead was openly gay and they had a house full of guys, some of whom were gay and some of whom were straight. The idea was that he would go out and use his gay-dar to find the gay that was right for him. I remember really liking him and he of course picked the wrong guy and was crushed, poor man……Maybe the LOGO network would create a GBLT version, I would watch, love is love, no matter how you cut it
Keep on Spoilin’
Comment: A lot of the “ideas” you have will never become part of this show. Not interesting enough. You say you watched 25 seasons but can’t stand to watch Desiree’s. Fair enough. But do you realize the previous 25 seasons you watched all had the same basic premise, with Chris Harrison saying the same things every season, and the formula essentially being exactly the same? For all those saying Desiree’s season is boring or whatever, it’s certainly not because of the format. The format didn’t all the sudden get old after 25 installments. That’s just ridiculous. It’s the same show every season, except a different cast. So I’d blame the cast for the reason you’re not watching, not anything that the show is doing because guess what? They had a meet and greet with 25 contestants (just like pretty much every other season), there was wackiness on the first night with stupid limo exit gimmicks and drunken behavior (like any other season), they filmed dates in LA (like every other season outside of Emily and Charlie), then they left the states and started traveling to different countries (pretty much what they’ve done for the last 10 seasons), they had a 2-on-1 date, they had 1-on-1 dates, they had group dates, they had hometown dates, then they will travel to somewhere for the overnights and final rose ceremony. Tell me how the format of Des’ season is any different than anything you’ve seen in the past 25 seasons? It’s not. It’s the people that are, so there’s your answer.
Is it just me or does Michael Garofola look like Adam in the “Creation of Adam” painting by Michelangelo. Picture for reference:
And no, there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell he’ll be “World’s Greatest Prosecutor”
Comment: Ummm, I wouldn’t know. I’ve never seen Michael G naked, nor do I plan to.
I thought Michelangelo was, you know, supposed to be this really great artist? Did he really make Adam seem like he’s hung like a light switch? Geez. Brutal. Looks like he has a wad of gum stuck between his legs. Not very flattering Adam. Eve must’ve totally faked it that night.
Hi RS (and Maddie),
Two questions for you this week.
1) Why does Fleiss hate Ben? His season was boring but I didn’t think it was bad enough to be hated for. Is there another reason?
2) Are are they still planning on announcing the next Bachelor at ATFR?
Comment: 1) Because he thought he was boring and his season sucked
2) I doubt it will be announced on Aug. 5th. That’s rather early considering “Bachelor” filming doesn’t start til mid September.
When was the last time they announced the next “Bachelor” during the “Bachelorette” ATFR? Have they ever done that? They’ve usually done it during the “Bachelor Pad” finale or in conjunction with the announcement of the DWTS fall lineup of contestants.
I’ve read your blog since Jillian’s season, but this is my first time writing in. As people continue to complain about the reasons why The Bachelorette ratings aren’t good this season, I would argue that it is a combination of different issues, including poor casting and the need for ABC to switch things up and make things fresh.
Have you put any thought into what might make the show more interesting? Lately, I have noticed a trend in television shows trying to integrate social media and their fan base more closely into programming. While I think that the tweets shown during The Bachelorette on the bottom of the screen are just an annoyance, I think that some kind of additional social media integration might do the show good. For example, in some shows, they have incorporated the idea of allowing the viewers to vote to keep a ‘contestant’ on longer. Imagine if fans could vote online and have one rose be designated as “the fan rose”? It would definitely be interesting. All of the time you hear bachelors and bachelorettes say that at the time they didn’t see what was wrong with someone on the show, but after watching the footage, they realize what a mistake it was to waste time with someone. Having the nation’s backing on a keeping a certain individual could play into this idea.
Another thought would be to merge the ideas of “The Bachelor/Bachelorette” and “Bachelor Pad”. This idea might be crazy, but hear me out: Choose 12 men and 12 women that have all appeared on the show before that still want to find love, or at least date. Separate the men and women, but let each group know what men and women are there. Keeping the men and women separate, let them each have girl talk and guys talk, figuring out who is there they would want to date. They could even play off of the “Bachelor” theme and call this period of time “Bachelor Parties”. Next, they could have pool parties or group dates, and allow everyone to get to know each other better and mingle. After this, both the men and women could submit in private their top one, two, or three choices of who they would want to date. If there is a match, the couple gets to know each other, and go on one of ABC’s romantic dates. If a person isn’t selected, he or she gets sent home.
Think of all the possibilities with this show! It would be super entertaining, and would allow a lot of past fan favorites to get involved in a show that doesn’t have a stigma of being superficial and trashy like Bachelor Pad does. It is also pretty obvious that individuals from past seasons are into each other with all of the flirting that goes on online on Twitter. Having multiple people in search of love would also give the show a higher percentage of having a couple work out, which they seem to desperately need. Eliminating any kind of strategy and money also makes people focus more closely on being realistic with who they could have an actual future with.
Comment: There is zero chance of your first idea working. How can they possibly have the viewers vote to keep certain contestants on when by the time the first episode even rolls around, filming is already over? Makes no sense and logistically impossible. Not to mention, if they want their audience to believe this show is about finding the lead a love of their life, why would the audience have any say in that? It’d become a popularity contest, and what if they kept voting through a person that the lead didn’t care for at all? That idea doesn’t really make sense on any level. You do know this show isn’t live, right?
Your second idea is basically “Bachelor Pad.” Not sure how I see where that would be anything resembling the “Bachelor” or “Bachelorette.”
They are not going to change the basic premise of a show that’s been successful for 26 seasons, and that’s 1 lead, and a bunch of contestants vying for that person. That is their formula they’ve stuck with and I can’t possibly see them straying away from that.
I’m just catching up on the seasons blogs now and I just had to write in reference to Soulja Boy. Don’t be utterly amazed that Soulja Boy was on the Bachelorette. As for the “rap world”, many a rapper does not consider Soulja Boy to be a part of it. Soulja Boy has no dignity or street cred as you put it. His “songs” or “raps” are merely pop anthems (hence, The Bachelorette) and most real rappers have absolutely no respect for him. Go to YouTube and type “Ice T on Soulja Boy”, then scroll down and see what he and other rappers think about Soulja Boy.
Comment: Awesome. Someone from the rap community emailed me. I guess I have more street cred now than Soulja Boy. Sure, that song may have been corny as hell, but “Right Reasons” was one of the better group dates this show has ever done. No joke.
I realized this season that I watch this show every season because I have a harmless crush on one of the bachelors each season.
JP- loved loved him
Graham Bunn- huge crush
Jef Holm- hot
Andy Firestone- so cute to me
Sean- super fine
Roberto so cute
Brad – very good looking
This season zero, zilch, nada, nobody, hideous, not sexy, no hotties, muscle heads this all = to a snooze fest.
It’s all about the bachelors.
Comment: That seems to be a running them. But just remember, just because you don’t like any of these bachelors, doesn’t mean each of them don’t have a fan base. They all do.
Thanks for making me not take this show so seriously. I’ve watched since Jillian’s season and I remember when I would get so heated with my roommate when she would threaten to tell me the winner! I was a sucker.
My question- I remember a magazine article I read (maybe 3 years ago) that was titled something like, “Secrets of Bachelor Production!” It said that if you don’t make it to the Final 4, then you have to pay for all your travel expenses. Is this true? Or was it ever true? Could I be confusing it with a similar circumstance?
Comment: No, that’s not true.
I’ve been a pretty consistent viewer of the Bachelor franchise for the past 10 or so seasons, but I just haven’t found this year’s season to be watchable. There are a number of reasons for this, all kind of coming together in a perfect storm of uninspiring yuckiness on my TV screen:
1. The cast — without question the most boring, two-dimensional group of bachelors they’ve ever assembled. Typically the show is carried by a few common threads that emerge among the opening 25 guys or girls—the player who is a bit diabolical, the trainwrecks and jackasses who are often funny, and the select two or three people who have a legitimate shot and show actual connection to the lead. This year all of those subtypes have shown up, as they always do, but this time none of them have the virtue of being interesting. The diabolical player isn’t really all that diabolical after all, the jackasses are there, but are boring, and the top few guys are all weird and off-putting. They’re not even interesting in a negative sense. I don’t hate them, I just don’t want to watch them.
2. The lead – It’s easy to overcomplicate this, so let’s not. Desiree is a nice enough girl, but she isn’t a dynamic personality and can’t carry the show. In fact, she’s just kind of a regular girl. She doesn’t offend me and doesn’t wow me. There’s just no storyline there.
3. The dates – everything is so predictable and played out at this point. It’s hard to watch a show with a boring cast when even the plot devices are predictable too. Another bungee jump. Another helicopter ride. Another day in the boat. Another live music performance. Yadda Yadda Yadda. The ITMs make me crazy now, as I know to expect some smashed together version of “amazing, so and so looked stunning, I can see myself with this person, so we walk in and there’s this beautiful dinner, family is very important to me, I think I’m falling for so and so, I really want so and so to open up,”…. blah blah blah blah friggin’ blah.
4. Chris Harrison – “gentlemen, this is the final rose tonight. When you’re ready.” I think where his douchebaggery reaches its zenith is in the staged conversations he has with the leads, where the show tries to create this notion that Harrison is giving them sage advice. Give me a f—ing break.
5. The show just takes itself way, way too seriously. The odds of actually, seriously, no kidding, honest to goodness, really finding a lasting relationship on this show are so damn remote, because the entire premise is pretty absurd. Bachelor Pad was tawdry as hell, but part of what made it entertaining was that the show never took itself seriously (well that, and the occasional incredibly hot woman—Jessie Sulidis, anyone?). Bachelor Pad knows it’s ridiculous, so it doesn’t try to claim seriousness. I just can’t bring myself to take the Bachelor(ette) seriously, and it aggravates me when I watch it.
6. So…I might not watch anymore, but I’ll still read your columns, because I like your sense of humor and tend to agree with your perspective on the show.
Comment: One of the better, well thought out emails I’ve ever received. I agree with every point made in this email, especially your first two points. Excellent job. You get a sticker.
You’ve got me totally hooked on Jason’s and Molly’s podcast. They were not my favorite season but I seriously love their podcast! I’m a little confused about something they talked about and I know you can clear it up for me.
Molly talked about a time that they were in the ‘safe house,’ after filming and they needed to call 911. They made a call to the producers who didnt want them to call 911 but because it was serious and needed to, they asked Molly to hide so the paramedics wouldn’t know she was the one he picked because the show had just started airing. She then added (almost like she had caught herself) that their time at the ‘safe house’ was a little uncomfortable at first because Jason had originally picked Melissa.
It was my understanding that Jason and Melissa dated while the show was airing and broke up on ATFR, when at that point he asked Molly to coffee, thus beginning their relationship.
So, my question for you is: was picking Melissa really just faked and Molly slipped up by telling that story or am I wrong about the sequence of events?
P.S. I’m sorry if this was explained at the time, I wasn’t privey to your blog un
Comment: You’re forgetting that the secret ATFR taping took place 6 weeks before the finale, around the end of January. Jason’s season ended filming right before Thanksgiving, he dated Melissa from that point until they taped the ATFR at the end of January. That’s when he started dating Molly, and they had their safe house visits from end of January up until the finale in March. That’s where you were confused.
Since I have no good questions relating to Bachelor(ette)itude…
As we know you are a fan of the Burning Love series…I was wondering if you had ever seen Veronica Mars or what you thought of the VMars movie. If you have never seen it, many of the Burning Love characters are also characters in the world of Neptune – Ken Marino (Mark Orlando), Ryan Hansen (Blaze), of course Kristen Bell…Martin Starr is going to be in the movie (though he was never on the TV show). I’m a big fan of the series, and I could see you liking it with your sense of humor. I know you don’t really need more TV to watch, but thought I would pass along a recommendation whether you liked it or not.
Hope you are staying cool in TX!
Comment: Never saw the Veronica Mars show, but I’ve always heard good things about it. I’m a fan of Kristen Bell though. And I’m not talking about her acting. Does she make my list? Ehhhhh, close call.
i’m sure you’ve seen this before, but just in case you haven’t here ya go 🙂
Comment: Brings a tear to my eye. We coulda been something…
Although, if we’re really getting technical here, Ben brought 6 girls to Belize (the location before the hometowns), and eliminated Rachel and Emily in that episode, so do we really know who finished 5th vs. 6th? Ben never specified which one he liked more.