Yes, you know you are a true fantasy football geek when for the third year in a row, you fly in for your league’s annual draft. As I write this, I’m currently en route to California for the Couch Commando draft taking place this Sunday. Don’t get me started on why I’m not the defending champion. Then again, I’m not even sure why I study and research for this sh** considering most of fantasy football is pure luck. So many things out of your control in fantasy football, that it’s amazing how to get so wrapped up in it. That’s why you’ll never see me tweet about who I drafted, or doing running commentary on Sunday on how my players are doing. Why? Because you don’t care. So yes, this is a message to anyone who feels the need to tell us about their team in tweets or FB posts: I guarantee none of your friends actually care what’s happening in your fantasy league. Stop it.
Busy couple weeks ahead of me as I’m out of town this weekend, then I get back and three days later I’m moving, then there’s Labor Day weekend, then the weekend after that I’m in Vegas. However, once I’m back from that, I’m going to try my best to post a “Daily Links” column every day on the site. I’m giving you a little taste of it today with some stories that I’ve gathered over the last couple days. Most you’ve probably seen, some maybe you haven’t, but basically as a way since I know a lot of you are busy during your day you can’t search the internet for stories like I pretty much do. So I’m gonna try and provide you with like your own little pop culture newspaper, giving you links to stories happening in the world of TV and such, along with throwing in a bit of my insight or commentary. When the “Bachelor” starts filming next month, of course I will still be spoiling it in real time, but I want this site to become even bigger than it is, so I figured I’d try this out during the offseason. Probably won’t have any columns next week due to packing and moving, but after that, I’ll probably get in a couple, then when I return from Vegas, try and make it a daily thing.
Right now, I’ve got 5 of Juan Pablo’s girls who have been accepted to be on the show. I’m waiting til I get a few more before I start posting any of them, but I’ll obviously let you know when I do. Probably do it closer to when filming begins, which as of right now, I believe is slated for Monday, Sept. 16th. It’s either that Monday or Tuesday, since girls start arriving on Sat. the 14th. So maybe the week before is when I’ll release who I have at that point. So far this crop looks no different than any other season: pageant girls, models, etc. You know, exactly the type of the women that are gung ho about immediately becoming a step mom to Camila. Should be interesting.
One story that I must address which WetPaint broke a couple days ago, was the breakup up former “Bachelor Pad” and “Bachelor” contestant Paige Vigil and her boyfriend. I honestly think this might be my favorite story of the year. Why? Ummmm, cuz it’s not a story. Look, if Paige was dating someone within the franchise, then absolutely if there was a breakup, I’d expect to hear about it. But this story only came about because, wait for it, Paige’s ex Lance DeGroot felt the need to run to a media outlet with it. This ass clown might now be my favorite guy ever. Lance you do realize that no one knows who the hell you are nor do they care, right? Why on earth would you think that people cared about your breakup with Paige, especially when she dumped you? Why the need to tell a media outlet about it? No one knows you.
So Paige dumps him and within 48 hours, he’s firing off an email to WetPaint alerting them they’ve broken up? By the way, I’ve been able to get a hold of this email he sent them and ummm, wow. Lance DeGroot is officially off his rocker. He stated that their breakup “is big news all over the Twin Cities at the moment” as they are both “well known socialites in the Midwest.” With all due respect to Paige because I’m sure she’s a lovely girl and who couldn’t feel sorry for someone who was on two different shows and never got a rose, but I’m guessing there are exactly ZERO people in the Twin Cities talking about their breakup. Kim and Kanye you are not. So for this douchenozzle to run to WetPaint with that story is completely delusional and probably a good thing Paige dumped his ass.
I don’t think I need to play Sherlock Holmes here to see Lance the Opportunists ulterior motives at play. He’s obviously hurt by the breakup so rather than act like a normal human would accept this breakup like an adult, he’s basically trying to make Paige look bad, all while announcing to others who don’t have a f***ing clue who he is “Hey, I’m available,” not to mention I guarantee there’s a part of him that would like nothing better than to be cast on the “Bachelorette” as well. Lance, you failed in every area possible. If anything, this would make you look even worse to any future girls, your desperate attempt at extending whatever 15 minutes you thought you had couldn’t possibly have come across any worse, and now you’re a laughingstock who got dumped and ran to tell the media about it. Based on Lance’s reaction thus far, I’m fully expecting to see a YouTube video released any minute similar to this one. I mean, who can forget this gem?
Lance, it’s bad enough you’ve been dealt the hand of having to live with that first name for the rest of your life which just screams “I’m a spoiled brat and full of douchebaggery,” but you’ve set a horrible example for the rest of us male species. I do want to thank WetPaint though for bringing this story to my attention and letting me know that Lance gave them a heads up that Paige had broken up with him. Whew. I was losing sleep every night wondering what was gonna happen with those two lovebirds. Thanks for clearing it up Lance, and thank you WetPaint for letting us know about it. My weekend can now continue. Moving on…