Weddings are always fun. They are one of the greatest people watching events ever. I’m attending one tomorrow out in Tyler, Tx. and I’m tempted to just start recording all the public drunkenness. Like, the overly inebriated bridesmaid who keeps falling out of the top of her dress while doing the chicken dance. Or the single groomsmen who will essentially hit on every single woman in attendance at the wedding in hopes of getting her back to his room. Or how about the overtly sexual married couple that is basically simulating sex out on the dance floor. I haven’t been to a wedding since twerking has become the new craze, so I can’t wait to see how many people incorporate that into their repertoire on the dance floor. Good times will be had all around. If any of this is taking place, I will be sure to capture it and save it to memory. Looking forward to tomorrow’s festivities, although I am gonna miss most of the games in the afternoon. Some good ones tomorrow. Damn.
-Every day I wake up and say to myself, “Ok, there’s no way there could possibly be any more Miley stories” and every day I’m wrong. This Sinead vs Miley feud is completely out of hand now. You saw the link yesterday with Sinead’s open letter. Well, of course Miley responded how only Miley can, by basically attacking Sinead’s past mental illness and calling her the original Amanda Bynes. Which then prompted a third open letter by Sinead today. Everything Sinead is saying is dead on, and everything Miley has done couldn’t have been handled any worse. I guess nothing she does at this point should surprise any of us.
-You know, like this basically nude photo shoot with Terry Richardson. WARNING: This is pretty much Miley in all her glory. If she’s willing to do this, you know Playboy isn’t that far away. In some aspects, I’d say this is even dirtier than Playboy.
-So I posted the “Work Bitch” video yesterday by Britney. Now she comes to say that they cut out the dirty parts of the video because she’s a mommy now. Look Brit, you CAN have it both ways. It is possible to be a mom and be sexy. Quit giving us G-rated videos and dammit, someone release those outtakes that fell on the cutting room floor.
-Hey, you’ll never believe this. One of the cougar Real Houswives now has a boyfriend almost 30 years younger than her and, wait for it, he’s the heir to the Anheuser-Busch. I totally see these two getting married and having a long life ahead together.
-Is there anything more comical than nip slips on the red carpet? I say no. Karina Smirnoff may beg to differ.
-If you’re Farrah Abraham, and other porn stars are calling you out for being a whore, well then, you’ve pretty much hit rock bottom. Hey, at least this one admits it.
-After quitting the game for essentially a second time, Colton gave his exit interview yesterday where he tried to pretend he didn’t quit. And it was all strategic. Uh huh. Shut up.
-Some of you may be sick of the Kardashians in the news every day, whether it be the Khloe and Lamar drama, or Kris and Bruce living separate lives but pretending they’re not. However, look at what it’s doing to the show’s ratings. Good. Bring it on. More drama the better.
-Needless to say, I was a liiiiiiitle happy yesterday seeing news about “24” pop up yesterday. Sure, we all knew it was coming back in a shortened version next summer, but we hadn’t gotten any details until yesterday. London! “Hey kids, Big Ben. Parliament.”
-One member of the Kardashian clan doesn’t seem to care about the attention his family gets. He just wants to sell his socks.
-Another reality show coming out and admitting basically that the storylines you see aren’t organic in the least bit. I mean, if they have to edit the crap out of “Duck Dynasty,” then that should tell you all you need to know. The “Bachelor” uses this trick constantly where they bleep something out to make it seem like someone cursed when they never did. Happens at least once a season.
-Usually when you see an accident on the road you call 911. Or you get out to help in any way you can. Not this hillbilly. He gives what might be the funniest play-by-play of a car accident you’ll ever hear. Classic.
-It’s never good to be the lead football announcer on a network and flub something as important as, oh I don’t know, someone’s death. You’re better than this Brad.
-Congrats to the Longhorns last night for manning up and kicking the sh** out of Iowa St. by one point. And Mike Davis, shame on you. You wonder why almost every football player to a man would admit they’d rather take a blow to the head over a hit to the knees. Brutal.
-And in case you didn’t see the ending of the Texas/Iowa St game, the Cyclones got robbed. Clearly a fumble at the goal line that the refs missed. And when that happens, your coach has a right to have a post game meltdown. Paul Rhoads, the floor is yours.
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