Every season, it’s safe to say I hear a lot of things about the “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette.” And if you’ve been with me long enough you’ll know that most of the things I hear are usually accurate. Of course, there’s plenty of stuff I hear that I just can’t share, and there’s other stuff I share but you pretty much have to take my word for it because I can’t prove it. Juan Pablo’s season is unlike anything I’ve ever heard. And not in a good way. I’ve heard so many things this season from so many different avenues, that’s it’s much too coincidental to be wrong. This could be the first season we’ve ever had where I share some of the random emails I’ve been getting from people. This is ABC’s bed and they must lie in it for choosing a guy that the audience had zero attachment to from the previous season, didn’t feel the least bit sorry for when Des dumped him (not that they were happy, I just think people weren’t fazed one way or another), and speaks broken English, but he filled their minority quota and a bunch of bored housewives screamed on Twitter they wanted a hot Latin guy on the show so producers gave in to social media and cast him. Baaaaaaaaaaaad move. I’m VERY curious to see how this thing ends. Very.
-Wow, what detailed reporting. Is this story really just leaving Sean & Catherine’s payday as a “six figure sum?” They realize six figures could be anywhere from $100,000 to $999,999 right? Great reporting.
-Another couple from the “Bachelor” franchise got engaged this past weekend. Elizabeth Kitt and Ty Brown did it Nashville, where they live. Too many stories to mention on this one, so I’ll just say congrats to them.
-Sometimes when I see Kim Kardashian’s ass, I have a hard time believing it’s real. Then she posts this selfie last night and I get even more confused. Which movie premiere did they show on it last night?
-Here’s a story about Kimberly Williams-Paisley and her kids. Now I hope the right research was done on this story and these actually are her kids. You know, cuz, ummmm, she’s currently faking her pregnancy on “Nashville” so Teddy will wife her up. Someone look into that.
-You’re kidding, right? All you need to read is this headline: “Miley Set To Peform at MTV VMA’s in Amsterdam.” Nine words long and there’s 3 things wrong with it. 1) Miley 2) Performing at another Music Awards show 3) Amsterdam. You know, where they sell the sticky icky in convenience stores like it’s candy. So get your foam fingers, dancing bears and midgets, and sex toys ready, Miley is coming to Amsterdam. Lets just call this one early and say she will masturbate on stage.
-Remember when Kanye went on Kimmel and said Kim should have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? Yeah, they finally responded with “Uhhhhh, no dice.” Expect another Kanye rant coming in 3…2…1.
-Now reports coming out that Charlie Hunnam was only getting $150,000 for his role as Christian Grey in the upcoming 50 Shades of Grey movie before he quit. Huh? So Sean and Catherine are gonna get paid at least twice as more for their wedding than an established actor was to play the lead in a book series that’s sold over 70 million copies? What’s wrong with this story?
-Now that Charlie is out of the lead role, who does Britney Spears want to see play Christian? James Franco. Lets all collectively slap our foreheads at the same time.
-No way! You mean Derek Hough had another failed relationship with a Hollywood chick he was banging? Man, who knew? His flings keep getting shorter and shorter.
-I would just chalk this up to great parenting. Kendall & Kylie Jenner, 16 and 17 respectively, were out at a 21 and over sex themed club. This doesn’t surprise me. What does surprise me is Kris wasn’t right there with them pouncing on young meat.
-The guy who started the sex tape craze by filming himself in black light with Paris Hilton, is now Pam Anderson’s friends with benefits. Hey, at least Pam’s admitting she’s having ex sex. More women should. He’s your ex for a reason, ladies. Just always remember that.
-Actor Ed Lauter died yesterday. Now, the name immediately won’t jump out at you, but when you see the picture and read his credentials, you’ll recognize this character actor. Man, all those films he’s been in and to me, he’ll always be Janie’s dictator dad who wouldn’t let her dance with Jeff from “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” Hey, I have an older sister. Leave me alone.
-Lauren Conrad told “Katie” that being on reality TV definitely opened doors for her in the fashion world. Really? And this whole time I totally thought you got that gig because of your fashion sense that was light years ahead of everyone else in your class. TV got you ahead in this world? Wow. What’s next? Sex tapes make people famous?
-I mean, are any of us REALLY surprised that A-rod likes his hookers two at a time? I don’t think there’s a single athlete that’s more disliked by the public right now than him. What an embarrassment.
-I know the reason the Dodgers won Game 5 yesterday was because of Will Ferrell. No doubt in my mind.
-The Alpha Phi’s are dominating the Big Ten. Three of the top 10 hottest sororities in the Big Ten are Alpha Phi’s, including the University of Iowa checking in at #4. “Bachelor” related note: Kat Hurd was an Alphi Phi at the University of Iowa. So there you go. You can always count on those All For Free’s.
-It’s the age old question: Does sex before an athletic event help or hinder an athletes ability to perform? Well, NY Jets head coach Rex Ryan thinks it hinders so he basically told all his players no sex before the big game against New England this week. I’d quit the team if I were them.
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