Looks like a past feature will be returning to the column next week. With the “Bachelor” filming ending this past Tuesday, our fearless leader Juan Pablo is back on Twitter spewing his nonsense, along with his brutal capitalizations, on a daily basis which means he’s just begging for the return of “This Week in Juan Pablo Tweets.” Yep, it’s coming back. I’ll probably start making it a Friday feature from here on out because, lets face it, that guy loves his phone. And he loves to tweet. In English and in Spanish, even though English is his second language. Yeah, I’m sure having the lead of your show with English as his second language won’t present much of an issue AT ALL for not only the viewers of the show, but the women who are courting him as well. I mean, this is the Latin heartthrob they’re going to try and sell America on for the next few months, and that he’s some great catch who will break so many women’s hearts they won’t know what to do with themselves. Well, other than return home from filming and get boyfriends immediately. I’m already losing count of how many of Juan Pablo’s women are so heartbroken over him they moved on within about 28 seconds after returning home. DI-SAS-TER.
-I honestly had never heard of L.A. Reid before the X Factor started. I mean I’m sure I’d seen his name written somewhere in stories about music, but I had no idea what a big deal he was, nor had I ever seen his face til the show started. Well, now we find out from ex-wife she believes he cheated on her with one of the girls from TLC. One that wasn’t Left Eye. Left Eye must’ve been too busy trying to burn down Andre Rison’s house.
-Some things just go together. Peanut butter & jelly. Sonny & Cher. Birds & bees. Alec Baldwin & paparazzi. Man, he just loves those people, doesn’t he? I think there should be a reality show that just follows Alec around and he screams down paparazzi once a week.
-39 year old Joaquin Phoenix is now dating 20 year old Allie Teilz. This has to make Jef & Arie feel less creepy, no?
-All sorts of reports about what’s going on with Khloe’s & Lamar’s bogus marriage, but the latest says they are currently in couples therapy. When I first saw the story I thought, “Awesome! They’re gonna be on next season of the VH1 show.” Apparently not. They’re just in regular couples therapy which, hey, I’m all for couples going to get help if they really need it. Except these two since this is basically being done for storyline purposes and it’s just for show.
-Do you think if Twitter were around in the 90’s, a young, innocent Joey Potter would be taking backhanded shots at Dawson or Pacey like Katie Holmes did yesterday towards ex-husband Tom? Awwwww, our little Joey is growing up right before our eyes.
-In a statement which I’m sure will make her seem even more relatable to her teenie bopper fans, Kylie Jenner says she basically can’t remember a time where she wasn’t famous. Ahhhh, so grounded this one. Not the least bit pretentious or self absorbed either. I think she’s definitely on the right track for a sex tape within a couple years.
-Speaking of sex tape, Courtney Stodden is going on “Bethenny” today. And apparently this is gonna be a doozy. No, not because she claims to have turned down $5 million to do a porn, since I don’t buy that for a second. That girl would pay you for sex and you’re telling me she wouldn’t accept $5 million? Please. No, this is a must see because Courtney is telling us she has no interest in writing a tell-all book? Why? Because she loves Doug so much she doesn’t want to betray him? Because she doesn’t kiss and tell? Because’s she holding out for a better offer? Nope. None of the above. She’s not writing a tell-all for one simple reason. Uhhhh, she can’t read or write. It was very hard for me to hold back laughter after reading this story.
-Melissa Rycroft revealed the sex of baby #2. Great.
-Chris Brown was seen out and about after only two weeks in rehab. Uh oh. Hide the women and children. Chris Brown is a free man again. I wonder if that dude who took the picture with him ended up with a shattered face afterwards just because.
-“People” magazine has a whole feature this week on former Survivor winner Todd Herzog that is a pretty detailed description of what this guy has gone through. It’s not pretty. His episode of “Dr. Phil” airs next week.
-Radar Online is known for their sometimes shoddy reporting. Hey, they’ve definitely had some exclusives over the years, but, they’ve also printed garbage at times that’s nothing more than speculation, rumor, or innuendo. A story that ran yesterday said that Rachel Bilson has been telling the rest of the “OC” cast to to shun Mischa Barton. Well, it took less than 24 hours for Rachel’s reps to issue a statement slamming Radar’s story saying she’s never done anything of the such. That statement from Rachel’s team would’ve been so much better if they just ended it with, “Welcome to the OC, bitch.” Seems more professional that way.
-Katy Perry has a very small sneak peek her new video for “Unconditionally.” For those that don’t know, that’s a six syllable word. I’ve heard that song. I think at different points in the song, Katy will put the accent on each of the six syllables and pronounces “Unconditionally” about six different ways. Someone get her a dictionary. Very confusing.
-Yesterday I told you I find very few things funnier than news anchors screwing up on live TV due to a failed teleprompter or just having a brain fart. Well, here’s something else I love. Technical issues on live TV that cause someone to curse not knowing they’re live. Like this reporter. Ha ha…
-Mariah said yesterday that working on Idol was like working in hell. New Idol judge Harry Connick Jr. decided to take a little shot at Mariah through Twitter yesterday. Good for him. Don’t you dare disgrace Idol, Mariah.
-Ladies, here’s why you should never cheat on your man. Because if your man ever catches you in the act, he might beat your new boyfriend unconscious then light his nuts on fire. You’ve been warned.
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