I woke up this morning to what I thought was a normal world, but apparently it isn’t anymore. Beyonce has turned the earth upside down I guess because she released a whole new album and videos without any sort of publicity. Sure, it’s never been done before and it’s certainly a game changer in that I bet a lot of artists will now copy her, but, is it ok to breathe now? It’s music. It’s videos. We were eventually going to hear and see them anyway whether she promoted it months in advance or not. I guess the major surprise is how none of this ever got out and no one had a clue this was coming. Props to her for keeping it secret. Now, just let me know which of these songs is gonna be the new anthem for women to freak out on when it starts playing in the bars. I mean, I don’t know if anything can possibly top “Single Ladies,” but I’m sure they’ll be one on there that all of them will claim to relate to. That song is five years old now and still has drunk women everywhere acting a fool on the dance floor the second the first beat hits.
And of course, be sure to check out the “Bachelor” Juan Pablo’s episode-by-episode spoilers.
-According to TMZ, Khloe isn’t wasting any more time (even though all of us saw this coming months ago) and will reportedly file for divorce from Lamar Odom TODAY. What took you so long, K? We’ve been waiting for you all this time. We’re already on the train. Just waitin for you to come aboard. Probably the least surprising divorce in, well, ever.
-I think when the 50 Shades of Grey movie opens in February of 2015, they might need to pass out defibrillators to all the overheated women expected to go see the movie after this latest news. They’re really gonna release this movie with two different ratings? I mean, if you release an NC-17 rating, aren’t you pretty much expecting it’s not gonna be a huge draw?
-Miley says that she doubts MTV will ask her back to the VMA’s next year. What gives you that idea, Miley? The fact you pranced around on stage simulating masturbation with a foam finger all while getting crammed from behind by Robin Thicke as midgets dressed in bear costumes danced around on stage? I don’t see the problem. What am I missing?
-Yesterday, Radar reported a story that’s in this week’s In Touch magazine where Peta Murgatroyd told an In Touch reporter during an event last weekend that she wasn’t invited to Sean & Catherine’s wedding and she was disappointed. WetPaint has followed up on the story and has confirmed that in fact Peta WASN’T invited to the wedding, and the reason is not because of any jealousy issues on Catherine’s end, just that Sean was only inviting close family & friends. Do with that what you will.
-Trista & Ryan will be venturing back into the reality TV world next summer as they are one of the couples that will be appearing on a show called “Marriage Boot Camp” on the WE Network. I guess they have communication issues in their marriage and what better way to work it out than on a reality show.
-Just like the earth shattering news yesterday of Taylor Swift getting a haircut, we’ve got something even more important today. Brace yourself. Courtney Stodden went brunette. See what happens when you get rid of 53 year old pervs? You feel free again enough to change your hair color. However, while she’s at it, she might want to touch up those wonky boobs. What the hell is going on with those?
-Throwback Thursday is kind of a thing now on Twitter and Instagram. People feel like sharing old pictures of themselves. But only on Thursdays because, ummmm, someone decided Throwback Thursday was a brilliant alliteration. God forbid you post an old picture of yourself on a Monday. Social media might explode. Anyway, some photographer posted an old photo of Taylor and Miley for Throwback Thursday yesterday and it brought a tear to my eye. Where’s “Party in the USA” Miley?
-Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio admits that she gets jealous in relationships. Most models date famous men, but not her. She doesn’t want to fight other women for her man so she prefers a low key one. Man, this is disappointing to hear. I guess Alessandra and I were never meant to be. She’d be fighting women left and right for me. I think. Something like that.
-Candace Cameron Bure, or DJ Tanner to the rest of you, says she will never get naked or have sex on camera as it goes against what she believes in. Ummmmm, was anybody asking? I mean, the only thing she does is made for TV movies on ABC Family pretty much and those are about as PG as you can get. Now all the sudden she’s letting us know she’d never compromise her morals by showing us any skin? Uh, ok. Thanks. I’ll make a note of it in my list of “Things I’ve Never Thought About Ever.”
-Bruce Jenner is going to have surgery to shape down his adam’s apple because he thinks it’s too big. Yes, because that is exactly what is wrong with Bruce Jenner’s face. Like the story says, that surgery is usually used for gender transformation, so Bruce, lets just cut to the bottom of this and just go all the way. Hell, you already look like a chick anyway. Don’t stop at just the throat.
-After taking some heat at the beginning of the season for adding six new cast members that were all white, SNL held auditions recently at the Groundlings in LA for only black female comedians, and are expected to add one by January. Ummm, don’t they mean Juan-uary? Anyway, this is very progressive of them. Now it’ll bring their total of black female cast members in the 40 year history of the show tooooooooo….5?
-Julie Chen thinks “The View” sucks with Jenny McCarthy. I wouldn’t know. I’ve never seen it. But how dare you say anything with Jenny McCarthy sucks, Julie. Shame on you. Just because you recruited her for “The Talk” and didn’t get her gives you no reason to bash “The View” now. Of course, I really have no idea what I’m talking about. I just know Jenny McCarthy is a Super MILF, so I usually take their side on things.
-Katie Collins got booted from “Survivor” on Wednesday when she lost in the “Redemption Island” challenge to She-Woman Laura and her mother Tina. This was part 1 of her exit interview, and also, she appeared on the EW.com podcast to talk about her time on the show.
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