A shout out to all those who viewed my site in the last year as I was informed by Google this morning that Reality Steve was the 4th most searched blog on Google for the year 2013. Wow. Very cool. Wait, people still read Perez Hilton even though he doesn’t write any of his stuff and is always behind on stories? Interesting. Well, lets see if we can pass him up next year.
The Juan Pablo conference call with the media to talk about his season that was supposed to take place last Wednesday, ended up happening yesterday. You can read all his brilliant, broken English, somewhat off-the-wall answers here. Yeah, pretty much expect a whole season of that come Juan-uary. Also, the first episode (minus the rose ceremony) was released to certain media outlets recently, and whaddya’ know, for the 4th season in a row I managed to see it. Crazy how that happens. Anyway, I will review what to expect in the episode in tomorrow’s column. Here’s a hint: It’s the same exact thing you’ve seen in the previous 26 seasons first episode. Same dance, different song. First hour consists of Juan Pablo footage, girls’ intro videos, and limo exits. The next 45 min is for the cocktail party, and the last 15 minutes would be the rose ceremony which the media doesn’t get to view because they don’t want them spoiling who did and didn’t get roses. Oops. Sorry. Did that a month ago. I’ll just fill you in tomorrow on what to expect like who gets intro videos, whose 1-on-1 time at the cocktail party gets shown, and anything interesting that happened at the cocktail party, etc. Check back for that tomorrow.
And of course, be sure to check out the “Bachelor” Juan Pablo’s episode-by-episode spoilers.
-Snooki was surprised she got pregnant due to the countless times she was having unprotected sex and never did. Man, that’s surprising to hear. I always just assumed Snooki was into monogamous relationships and never spread her legs for anything with a pulse within a 50 mile radius of the Jersey Shore area. Boy do I feel stupid.
-No matter how many times he’s been through rehab, or how many appearances he makes on the Howard Stern show telling us otherwise, I think it’s safe to say at this point thatDavid Arquette likes to drink. Hard. Wait, doesn’t he have a baby on the way with some random fling he’s been hooking up with? I’m sure mama will love these pictures of him out. Somewhere Courteney Cox looks at Coco and says, “I’m sorry he had to be the one who produced you.”
-The dude that’s playing Christian Grey in the upcoming 50 Shades of Grey movie just popped out a kid with his wife. You hear that 50 Shades nutjobs. He’s married. And has a child. So whatever you see on your movie screen come Valentine’s Day 2015 is not real. You do understand that, right? You do understand this is fiction and that what you read in your steamy romance novels will never ever happen to you, correct? Ok, just checking.
-Simon Cowell says Fox will renew the X Factor, but they’re probably gonna have to make changes to the show next season. Good. How about you start with getting rid of Paulina Rubio, the female Juan Pablo. Holy what-the-hell-is-she-saying Batman! Talk about adding nothing to a judging panel. Even Nicki Minaj looks at Paulina and is like, “Damn girl. What in the world did you just say?” Also, going to 2 hours a week like DWTS is probably inevitable. We don’t need an hour results show for a show that’s getting beaten badly in the ratings by all the other shows.
-Charlie Sheen is pissed off at Denise Richards – again. She changed Christmas plans on him and apparently he blew a gasket by chopping up a wedding souvenir of theirs and posting a picture of it. So level headed that Charlie. Who could’ve ever seen anger problems with this guy?
-Miley told Barbara Walters about what it felt like being engaged to Liam Hemsworth and basically boiled it down to one thing – wearing a fat rock. Ahhhhh, so it was true love between those two. See? Don’t you ever doubt it when a teenager gets engaged to another Hollywood celebrity because it’s always about true love and nothing else. Miley just proved…oh wait. My bad.
-The little Disney dude that decided to take nude selfies of himself has now given us a reason why: because he thought he looked good and wanted to show off. Oh, so basically he’s no different than anyone else who posts endless selfies. Got it. Well, other than the fact that no one was in great demand asking for nude photos of the “Zack and Cody” star. At least I don’t think they were.
-Kim Kardashian is in the news again. I know, imagine that? But this isn’t really news I don’t think. Unless you call showing more pictures of her ass in a bikini newsworthy. Some would say it is, some would say it isn’t. I call it art. Or something like that.
-The rumors of Khloe dating Matt Kemp are apparently not true and these two aren’t an item. Well that’s good. I know, it’s just impossible to believe that someone from this family would start dating a black professional athlete. So foreign to them, I wonder how they deal with the rumors on a consistent basis?
-Speaking of Khloe, Lamar Odom’s daughter came out and weighed in on daddy’s divorce from the amazon and said, “No one thought they were gonna last anyway.” Wow, so a 15 year old has more sense than her father and the media hungry wife he married after knowing her for one month? Shocking. Nice to know a teenager is the only sane one out of those three.
-Hey, did you know that reality TV is fake? I know, hard to believe. But it’s true. More proof from that Christmas Lights show you’ve been seeing on TV recently. It’s pretty comical how bad some of the editing gets on this show. We’ve heard way worse, but this is just another example of what you’re watching on TV isn’t the least bit genuine.
-I don’t watch the “Walking Dead” but I know a lot of people do. However, when I see stories like this, well, it’s a given I’ll link to it. One of the actors from that show has a new girlfriend. Awwwww, how cute. He’s 44. She’s a 21 year old model that looks about 13. Congrats, dude. I’m sure that’ll work out well for you because we all know how much a 21 year old has in common with a 44 year old celebrity.
-If you’re a “Homeland” fan, I assume you already watched the season 3 finale on Sunday night. If you haven’t, spoiler ahead. The show runner for “Homeland” talks about the season and what’s upcoming for season 4. Personally, it was the right decision to make. There wasn’t any possibly storyline going forward with Nicholas Brody that would’ve been the least bit believable. Great character whose time had run it’s course. Had to do it, start fresh in season 4. Basically like these writers did when doing “24,” which was essentially re-boot every three seasons. A zebra never changes its stripes.
-Colin Farrell told a story yesterday on the “Ellen” show that I haven’t decided if I find endearing or just, ummmm, creepy. It was about his relationship with Liz Taylor at the end of her life. Hmmmm, so instead of “Tuesdays with Morrie,” it was more like “Every Night on the Phone with Colin.” Kinda weird, no? Not that he talked to her, but that he’s calling it his last romantic relationship? With a 79 year old dying woman?
-If you wanna hang at Derek Jeter’s crib, leave your phone and cameras at the door. Apparently at his estate in Tampa, he’s very private about his home, so you may not share anything with anyone. That’s great and all, but still nothing will beat the story of the parting gifts he leaves all his one night stands as they exit his place in NY. How generous of him.
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