Every year, the first episode of the “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” is released to the media (minus the rose ceremony footage for spoiling purposes) so they can write their review. And for the last four seasons, I guess you could say I’ve been “lucky” enough to get a hold of this episode. Don’t ask me how. I think it’s magic or something. Anyway, we’re less than 3 weeks away from Juan Pablo’s season beginning as we’ve all seen the commercials running for the last couple weeks. Not to mention, the four Sunday night shows they’ll be running in Juan-uary to stuff your face with as much “Bachelor” related programming that is most definitely overkill. All the Sunday night shows on the 5th, 12th, and 19th are one hour, with Sean & Catherine’s wedding on the 26th being two hours. Your recap for the first episode will come on Tuesday the 7th per usual, but just to hold you over until then, I can give you some of the basics of what you’ll see come Monday, Juan-uary 6th:
-The Sunday night show on the 5th I think is mostly going to center around footage of Juan Pablo & Camila in Miami and the girls that got surprised by Chris Harrison and producers with roses to let them know they were on the show. The fact that the first episode shows 9 girls’ intro videos (which is standard for the first episode) makes me think we won’t be seeing any intro videos of the girls on the 5th. We’ll see.
-Episode starts with your basic footage of Juan Pablo in his hometown of Miami playing with Camila and talking about his life. Then shows him in LA moving into his house and hanging out at Santa Monica Pier with Camila doing daddy/daughter things. His parents and Camila lived in LA the entire time he was filming there.
-One minor correction to be made on the spoilers. I said that Sean & Catherine visited after night one to talk to him about the journey. Actually it’s just Sean, and he talks to him before night one about what to expect. Basic stuff.
-There are 9 intro videos shown: Chelsie, Renee, Andi, Amy J, Nikki, Lauren H, Valerie, Lacy, and Clare. So if you’re scoring at home, of the 9 that got intro videos its: the final four, four girls that got booted night one, and Chelsie. Odd mix. I know that’s the first time that all 4 of the final four got their intro videos shown in the first episode. You know what that means? Absolutely nothing. Just pointing it out.
-You already know about some of the limo exit shenanigans. I will say that this had to be the least creative limo exits they’ve ever had. A LOT of girls did nothing. Just got out, introduced themselves, gave a hug, said their name, told him they were excited, then went in. Good. After 27 seasons now of limo exits, it’s basically impossible to do something creative or funny.
-Amy L. is the first one they show out of the limo (even though she wasn’t the actual first one out), and Andi is the last one they show. Sharleen is second to last and her side boob was on full display.
-Once inside, Juan Pablo breaks out a little music and they have a quick group dance. There’s also a photo booth where the girls get in and take silly pictures.
-When the cocktail party starts, the girls who get their 1-on-1 time with him shown are: Nikki (the first girl we see him with), Renee, Lucy, Amy J, Chelsie (in the photo booth), Elise, Lauren H, Andi, and Sharleen.
-Honestly, there is really nothing major that happens at the cocktail party at all. The biggest focus, and probably what most people will be talking about the next day, is Lauren H. She’s the one previously engaged who had her fiancé dump her just weeks before the wedding. So basically every shot of her at the cocktail party, and every ITM, is of her crying and them just harping on what the broken engagement has done to her confidence. It kinda sucks. She will probably be crucified by the public and be the crying, blubbering girl from night one that everyone remembers.
-The only other noteworthy thing to happen is Sharleen getting the first impression rose. This chick is awesome. Basically, she doesn’t seem to give a sh** about Juan Pablo and is shocked he’s even giving her the rose (my guess it was the side boob). She’s the only girl in the mansion that doesn’t speak in clichés. Even accepting the first impression rose, she’s reluctant. Says “our connection seemed a little forced.” Then drops the doozy of, “Either I feel something or I don’t. Still a little early for me.” As opposed to every other girl that’s coached to say how great the lead is when they’re meeting him for the very first time and really don’t know sh** about him. So now we pretty much already see Sharleen’s storyline developing and why she ends up leaving on her own in Miami. She obviously was never really that into him.
-Of the 9 girls eliminated on the first night, I’d say Lauren H and Kylie probably get the most camera time. Kylie mostly ITM’s and Lauren, well, a lot of crying. A lot.
-I’d say overall the girls who get the least amount of camera time once the cocktail party starts that I can remember are: Christine, Victoria, Chantel, Cassandra, Kelly, Lauren S, Val, Christy, and Alexis.
-I cannot say this enough: This episode is EXACTLY the same as the previous 26 first episodes they’ve had. There is absolutely nothing different about it, the two hours flow just like all the other ones, there’s very little drama, and it’s basically just an introduction to everyone. They’ll hype it up and people will say all these things about how great it is, blah blah blah but it’s the same thing as all other first episodes. Until the promo for the whole season airs, that’s when you’ll be able to tell about where some of the edits are leaning. Like Nikki comes across as completely normal and likable in her intro video and her 1-on-1 talk with him at the cocktail party. I’m guessing that’ll last one episode based on the fact that she’s the most unlikable girl in the house. It’s easy to edit her that way in episode 1 when you don’t have to show her interacting with anyone.
-Clare will probably come across as a fan favorite just based on her intro video talking about her dad that died a year ago and left behind a DVD that she has yet to watch which she says she’ll show to her future husband.
And of course, be sure to check out the “Bachelor” Juan Pablo’s episode-by-episode spoilers.