Once again, A LOT of stuff to get to before we dive into today’s recap. We’ve got Ed Swiderski in the news, someone taking me to task for spoiling the show, a podcast you should be listening to, what’s happening the next two weekends, Molly the Dog, the ratings for last night, and probably the most revealing news – who exactly is Elise Mosca? As I’ve always said, if you choose to put yourself on a reality show, you absolutely cannot get mad when stuff from your past gets out. Especially when that stuff can be found by two clicks of a mouse. Let the tabloids dig and find child support payment delinquencies, legal documents etc. But when you’re presenting yourself as someone you’re completely not, you’re gonna get called out for it. Oh I’m sure you’re gonna love today’s little nugget on Elise. I sure did. It’s hilarious/embarrassing/ridiculous all at the same time. Hey, she was the one who did it, not me. How in the world she thought no one would find this is just plain stupidity on her part. We’ll get to Elise in a little bit, but first lets get started with some of the other stories.
I had no idea Ed had a new girlfriend, but apparently he does. It’s Natalie Bomke, a co-anchor on “Good Morning Chicago.” Apparently some blogger had fun at her expense, so Ed came running to her defense by writing a letter to this guy. Which he then printed for everyone to see. Oh Ed. 70 million tabloids? Really?
According to this author, apparently what I’m doing with my blog is ruining Hollywood. Fans hate bachelor spoilers and I’m what’s wrong with the world or something. I mean, just read that you’ll realize it’s one of the more uninformed, naïve, ignorant, and just flat out wrong dissection of me and my site. I could take down that story sentence for sentence and embarrass her, but there’s no need to do that. Here’s all you need to know about the Examiner. This is directly from their “About” page and read what qualifications you need (or in this case don’t need), to write for Examiner.com. I rest my case.
A lot of people ask me if I have an ultimate goal in all this, or what I plan to do after RealitySteve.com is done, or this show goes off the air. I mean, I have a few ideas and there are some irons in the fire that I don’t plan on getting into publicly, but one thing I’ve always made known is I’d love to write for Grantland.com in some aspect. Their content is pretty much right up my alley, including the weekly Reality TV Fantasy League column that runs every Friday. Very funny stuff. It’s also accompanied by the “Right Reasons” podcast, hosted by Dave Jacoby and Juliet Litman, which skewers the reality TV world. It’s a must listen for me every Friday afternoon. Check it out. Funny stuff.
In case any of you weren’t aware, Molly the Dog has her own Twitter account (@MollytheDog). I think I’d rather follow her than some of these other hot messes who really have nothing to offer. So go follow Molly for a daily dose of what it was like to really live in that house.
For further proof that this is just a television show first, and is not about finding a perfect match for their lead, did you know that final casting for the “Bachelorette” is the next two weekends in LA? This weekend and next, the final 50 or so finalists are flown to LA for their final rounds of interviews to be on next season, even though the next “Bachelorette” hasn’t even been decided on yet. So good luck to all the men auditioning this weekend. Mug for the cameras, give BS answers to the producers, and make it seem like you’ll bring the drama since that’s what they’re looking for. You’ll be a shoe-in to get cast.
The ratings from last night are in and, as expected, it trended down a little from the premiere to the tune of 600k less viewers. 8.5 last week, 7.9 last night. The premiere is always the bigger draw, then for the next few episodes it’ll dip just because there’s still so many girls left. Once the field starts dwindling down, the ratings always rise.
“Reader Emails” and “Dr. Reality Steve” will be this Thursday, along with another live video blog Thursday night, so send all your questions/comments/sex queries/relationship problems to email@example.com. I think the “Reader Email” bag is already over 25 emails, and the Dr. only has about 3. Ha ha. Good chance your email will make Thursday’s column if you send in today or tomorrow.
Ok, let’s get to Elise. I want to first start off by making something perfectly clear that she’s been perpetuating on the show. She’s NOT a first grade teacher. She USED to be one, but isn’t anymore. Back when she lived in Pennsylvania. Remember her intro video shown on Sunday? That was shot in LA. Why? Because she moved to LA once she was cast for the show. She even received that rose from Chris Harrison in LA, so the BS of that footage with her “first grade class” in the intro was completely staged. That wasn’t a school, that wasn’t a class, those weren’t her students. Elise is a freakin’ cocktail waitress at the trendy Playhouse Nightclub on Hollywood Blvd in LA. So this 1st grade teacher stuff is just nonsense.
Also, did you see last week where the paparazzi had photos of Elise in a bikini at the beach? Yeah, the paparazzi doesn’t take photos of random girls who last 5 episodes on a reality show walking around on the beach unless it’s set up by someone else. That whole photo shoot was arranged by Elise’s publicist. Couldn’t have been more staged if they tried. Really? She wore two different bikini’s to the beach? Uh huh. Celebrities do it all the time. Why do you think paparazzi can get pics of them just randomly at the park with their family, or at the grocery store, or walking their dog? Because these people’s publicists contact the agencies and tell them to send a photographer out because so-and-so will be there. That’s a publicist’s job, and that’s what happened with Elise last week. She is a wannabe actress trying to make it LA, she moved here almost 6 months ago, and supplements her income by waitressing at a trendy nightclub. Hell, her Instagram will tell you she’s not a teacher and hasn’t been for a while. All she does is post pictures from work and hash tag it with #Playhouse.
But beyond all that, I think this will get to the core of who Elise is. A quick google search and you can find Elise’s acting resume online. You’ll notice that under “Film” it says “Yule Log Hotties.” Well, type that into a Google search and it’ll bring you to this “Yule Log Hotties” video that was released in 2005 when Elise was either 19 or 20. To watch, you need to pay $1.99. Consider today your birthday since I already did that for you. Best $2 I’ve ever spent. Now, this video is 65 minutes long, but Elise doesn’t show up til the 52:00 minute mark and stays til the end. I’ve downloaded all that for you right here. Before you think it’s porn, it’s not. There is no nudity, no kissing, no masturbation, nothing along those lines. But if you want to watch one of the stupidest things alive, here you go:
So Elise won’t go on TV and wear something covering up her lady bits, but she’ll mouth rape a marshmallow all while laying around in lingerie giggling with a bunch of other pervy girls? Uhhh, ok. Elise Mosca everyone! Yes, that video is 65 minutes of 12 women in lingerie sitting around a fire, not talking, while cheesy porn music plays over them as they rub stuff on themselves and pretend to act sexy. I’m at a loss for words what would make someone think this was ever a good idea. Well, apparently Elise thought it was a brilliant idea and she did great work in it since she PUT IT ON HER RESUME! Yikes. First grade teacher? Not quite. On to last night…