Reality Steve

Reader Emails

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Hi Steve – When do the girls/guys learn who the actual bachelor/bachelorette is? In some seasons it seems like I’ve heard girls in the limo say “Who is it, who is it?” as they pull up the first night, and other seasons they are already gushing over how wonderful so-and-so is. And then during Ashley’s season, that one creep was only there because he thought Emily was going to be the Bachelorette?

Comment: I don’t remember that happening recently where people in the limo are asking “Who is it?” Maybe in earlier seasons, but they all know by the time they even get in the limo that first night who the lead is. However, IF there’s been someone that’s uttered that on night one as the limo’s are pulling up within the last 5 seasons or so, it’s because they were told to. But I don’t remember that.

Most recently, we’ve been seeing them being told who the lead is in their video packages that are filmed a couple weeks before they leave so the audience can see their reaction. They definitely all know.

Here’s an example: JP’s finale airs March 10th with the live ATFR airing right afterwards. I don’t have it confirmed yet, but knowing the way this show’s shooting schedule works, my guess is that all the guys in line for the next “Bachelorette” season will already be in hotel rooms watching JP’s finale, and on the ATFR is when they’ll announce the “Bachelorette,” and that’s when the guys will know. And my guess would be filming will start on the “Bachelorette,” either Wed, Mar 12th or Thurs Mar 13th. Just a guess, but it usually starts filming the week the “Bachelor” finale airs.


I just really don’t get what Juan Pablo sees in Nikki? My husband, who does not watch the show with me, walked through the living room this week during Nikki’s date. I told him that was the winner and he said, “Really? She isn’t even that cute.” I feel the same way. Many more girls in the house were prettier with better personalities. Any insight on why he chooses her?

Comment: Because he had to choose someone.

Hi Steve,

I don’t know about you, but I am looking forward to watching what I can of the Winter Olympics–in my case, the primetime night coverage.

Do you reckon that the ratings for “The Bachelor” will incur a serious drop over the next couple of Mondays due to the Games at Sochi?

Thanks for all your spoilers, recaps, opinions and laughs over the years!

Comment: Monday’s episode dropped about 400k from the previous week, but a pretty decent size .3 in the 18-49 demo, going from a 2.6 on 2/3 to a 2.3 on 2/10.


I’m a huge fan of your blog. I just wanted to say THANK YOU for letting us know a couple of months back that the Real World was going to have a new twist this season (bringing exes to the house as roommates). I used to be a devoted Real World fan, but had lost interest (the past few seasons have been pretty boring). However – this season has been glorious. I’m glad the exes have finally arrived. Do you really think one of the girls (either Lauren or Jenny) is PREGNANT? Ew. Who do you think will win the inevitable fight(s) between Cory and Brian? And I’m sorry, but Hannah is way more attractive (and seems less clingy) than Jamie.

Also – thanks for making the Bachelor/Bachelorette show fun to watch.

P.S. As an attorney, I agree with what you said about Andi – her legal career is probably not all that high-powered and she probably wouldn’t have a problem giving it up. She is a fairly recent law school grad so the money probably sucks, and she probably doesn’t have enough experience to know what the hell she is doing. Some of your readers said she will not have a job when she returns – I totally agree (too many lawyers, not enough jobs). Plus, the legal market is so crap right now (not many legal jobs and the pay isn’t as great as it used to be) that she could totally make more money being the next Bachelorette. It’d probably be a good career move.

Comment: Well considering we’ve seen the Real World “Aftershow” a couple times already this season (which comes on right after the episode), and none of them look pregnant, my guess is no. Someone probably had a scare and they’re embellishing it. Happens a lot on reality TV…cough…cough…The Bachelor…cough…cough.

I mean, I guess. But anyone that thinks that she’d never be the “Bachelorette” because of what it could do to her legal career is misunderstanding her. She’ll do it.

Hi Steve,

Totally agree w/ you on Andi being next Bachelorette, she’s the only one who I could see fitting in that role. Even if you weren’t around it would be hard to miss the fact that she’s getting that edit. I mean Nikki is too sour to be a lead and Clare is just to cray, although I’m sure part of both of those is editing–but again, the fact that they’re making viewers THINK those girls are sour/crazy, true or not, proves they couldn’t be the lead.

I also think Andi is totally playing along to be Bachelorette. Whether she knew from the get-go that could be a possibility I’m not sure, but taking herself out of the competition later seems like a smart move. She either realized Juanny P was a fake who would last about 0.2 seconds after the final rose, OR realized he would dump her and decided to bow out so there’s no rejection and she’s free to be B’ette. Those are my thoughts at least.

Question for you–how long do you think it took the girls to realize JP was a big dud…or did they not until the season aired? Wonder if this is something that’s talked about in the house?

Main reason I’m writing–I agree with one of the readers a week or so ago, I would love it if we could get answers to readers’ questions bolded directly underneath the questions and not all at the end. Would make it easier to read!

Comment: Not very long at all.

I’ve given in and on listed questions, I will answer them right after the question is asked.

I just read this article. The writer literally seems oblivious of what happened. She is almost seeming like “why would they edit it like they had sex if they didn’t”. I always see you write about how people honestly think everything is reality, but never really knew or read anyone that did. This is just ridiculous. Plus, some of my facebook friends are now posting saying how dare the bachelor/ette producers edit things like this and let it go on. Really? I really need to start introducing people to your site so they can see how wrong they are about these things being real.

Comment: I try to educate. Some people choose to listen and some don’t. I’m not going to convince everyone. But to make a statement like “why would they edit it like they had sex if they didn’t,” when we’ve seen what this show does season in and season out for 27 seasons, is just ignorant.

Love your blog! My friends think I’m crazy for reading the spoilers before the finale, but I think it makes the show more enjoyable. I have a few questions:

1. Who do you think is the worst bachelor and bachelorette? Prince Lorenzo was the worst Bachelor. Jen Scheft was the worst Bachelorette in my opinion.

2. Is it just me or does it seem like the “ladies” aren’t really into JP (except for Claire)? Just seems like they’ve realized his looks are the only thing he has going for him. No, it’s not just you. It’s pretty much the whole cast. And even some of the producers.

3. Do you think the producer would ever change the format of the show? American Idol changed some of things that weren’t working and I wonder if you think the producers of Bachelor would ever change things up. Minor tweaks? Maybe. Major changes? No. They’ll stick with what’s working.

4. If you were a producer of the show, what would you change? I’d show more behind-the-scenes footage.

5. Last one- besides Arie and possibly Jef, who do you think will be on Bachelor Pad? I went over this in a video chat a couple weeks ago, but, there’s too many names floating around to say anyone is a definite. Michael, Drew, Courtney, AshLee, Daniella, Christy, Chelsie, Clare, James, etc to name a few.

Comment: There. Is everyone happy now? I feel relieved.

i think the thing i am most excited about this season is seeing clare’s reaction in the final episode. i am really hoping she out does herself. unlike with crazy ashlee from sean’s season, i was also hoping she would give us some entertainment, but man was she stubborn letting anything out for the cameras.

Comment: Clare’s will be much more dramatic than AshLee’s, I can pretty much guarantee you that.

Any thoughts on the reality show, Biggest Loser, season finale winner looking VERY thin and unhealthy? You write about reality shows so do you think the show should change the rules? She is 250K richer but how thin she looked was very disturbing and didn’t send a good message to young girls and teens.


Comment: I’m in agreement with most in that she didn’t look healthy. I’ve read her interviews post show, I’ve heard what the trainers had to say, and I think she just wanted to win so bad, she took it too far. She still would’ve won if she weighed in at 115 I believe, and I think she’d look fine at that weight. 105? From 260? Despite what she says about what she eats and that she was approved by doctors, I can’t possibly see that’s healthy.

Hi Steve,

Great recaps so far this season. JP is def giving you some good subject matter to work with. He sucks and is really quite boring as the bachelor. He def got a decent amount of girls with good looks. Has to be one of the more attractive groups of contestants. Anyways, here are some thoughts/questions…

1. Chelsie and Nikki’s incessant complaining about bungee jumping and cliff climbing (rock climbing) repelling,,,whatever. Was unnecessary and annoying. Thank God Nikki’s didn’t last as long as Chelsie’s or I would have lost it. I mean come on, you really think you are going to die on a TV show? A REALITY DATING show nonetheless. Put on some big girl panties stop with the tears and move on w/ this loser. Agree.

2. I love Sharleen’s dresses. They are obviously high fashion and fit her beautifully. Unlike some of those God awful dresses that Elise wore. I mean hand-me-down prom dresses? And that is being kind. But the way Sharleen and JP kiss is weird and I wish they would just stop. Don’t forget all the glitter that Elise caked on herself every rose ceremony too. Those added to her sparkle.

3. When they were in Korea, ABC is so lucky that Kim Jong Un didn’t follow through on his threats. During the months of September and October, if you remember is when a lot of Americans were LEAVING Korea, because he had begun to move N. Korea’s missile defense towards the border and was making demands everyday. Smart, ABC real smart. If I were one of the contestants, I would have laughed and peaced out of there. I think Kim Jong Un is in negotiations to be the next Bachelor, so, it was a trade off.

4. JP is a terrible dancer. My husband is a tall Irish Guy and is a better dancer than him. Won’t hear any disagreement from me.

5. Do you think that Nikki has any feelings for JP? Or is she literally just letting his behavior fly b/c she wants to be a model that bad? I just don’t think I could put up with be disrespected and treated like sh*t by a guy I don’t even have feelings for and put my life on hold until the ATFR. I’m sure she does. I’m also sure she wants a modeling career, would dump being a pediatric nurse in a second, and is much more about “winning” and all that comes along with it (the mag covers, the talk show visits, the appearances, etc).

Sorry this was kind of long. Have a nice night.

I began reading your site during Brad’s second season. I didn’t even watch the show before then or at that time, but a coworker told me about your site and spoilers. I still very rarely watch the show; sometimes watch on Hulu if I literally have nothing else to do, but I’ve never seen a full episode of any season. I really just visit your site for the recaps and insider scoop/gossip and enjoy your writing style and humor. Is that weird? I think the concept of the show is asinine and ludicrous, sorry. That being said, it makes sense the lead and contestants “mesh” since they are both under the belief it could/will/hopefully will happen. Maybe opposites don’t attract? I know ABC never will change up the layout of the show, but just for sh**s and giggles, any ideas you can think up to add or change to make the show more entertaining? (I won’t say more believable because I think this is more a comedy/drama show than a reality show). Maybe let the girls who got roses on the one-on-one or group dates get together and give a rose? Like I said, I know it will never happen, but in a fantasy world what do you think would add pizzaz to the show?

Thanks for your time,

Comment: There’s plenty of things that you could do to change the show, but then it wouldn’t be the show anymore. Their formula works for them, whether people want to admit it or not. I’m objective. I’m the biggest critic of this show but I can admit their formula works, so, I just say keep doing what you’re doing.

Hey Steve,

As a college student that doesn’t have 90 minutes all the time to watch the show every week, I really enjoy your posts. I often find them a lot juicier and worth my time. I did, however, watch this episode for the incident with Clare.

I have to respectfully disagree with you when you mentioned that you don’t understand why everyone thinks he’s such a jerk. I don’t think they slept together, but the way he talked to her? Ordered her to look at him, ordered her to stop crying? Sort of supports your own assertion that this guy does not know how to talk to women! And once again using his daughter as a scapegoat for every explanation. This guy is a real douchemcmuffin.

A few questions:

1) Do you think they’ll have Clare and Nikki face off on ATFR? Face off? No. They’ve never had the final 2 face each other before, so I don’t see why they’d start now. But they’ll both be there. I’m sure it’ll be just like all other ATFR’s. They’ll bring Clare out, she’ll talk about the show, they’ll show the video clip of her journey including getting dumped at the end, she’ll cry, they’ll go to commercial, and then they’ll bring Juan Pablo out and she’ll ask “When did you know?” You know, like everyone else has:

2) I’ve heard from both you and Jason and Molly’s podcast that producers clearly care about keeping certain people in the end. Do you think they care/manipulate who the FINAL pick is? When Brad picked Emily, she mentioned that if she had gotten dates where she could swim with sharks she could have been exciting like Chantal too. I feel like we’re seeing the same thing with Nikki this past week with the caves, while Rene got a lame shopping date. Thoughts? It’s possible, but to go through every season and break down stuff like that is an effort in futility. There is no definitive answer that, yes, it’s THIS way because of THIS. Because someone got the adrenaline dates doesn’t mean they’re gonna win, and, because someone got crappy, low key dates doesn’t mean they’ll win either.

Comment: Yeah, I think he was a jerk in the way he talked to her. I was referencing people calling him a jerk in the way they were saying he wasn’t taking responsibility for it. I’d heard him say numerous times he made a mistake and everything was good between them.

Hi Steve,

I am spending my snow day in Austin catching up on The Bachelor, and I wanted to write.

When you said the Juan Pablo was going to be “El Bachelor,” I must admit, I was not real interested in watching the show. But your spoilers and the way you make fun of the show have led me watch and even DVR this trainwreck.

After watching Monday’s episode in Vietnam, I discovered I have no interest in watching Andi as the Bachelorette. This season’s women are vapid and unlikeable (with the exception of Renee and Sharleen). The producers are giving her a bad edit, and it will be work to get America to like her. I think it will be easy to make fun of her, and I look forward to reading your blog and seeing how you spin this woman!

Keep up the great work.

Comment: And this is exactly what makes this show so popular. EVERY SINGLE CONTESTANT has fans that absolutely love them, and absolutely hate them. You say you have no interest in watching Andi whatsoever, she’s getting a horrible edit, etc yet there are millions of people who would say right now they LOVE Andi, she’d make the perfect “Bachelorette” and they can’t wait to watch. Happens every season.

Hello Steve,

Finding your blog was the best thing to happen to my Bachelor/Bachelorette watching experience. There was a time when I thought it was oh so real.
My husband watches with me (just enough bikinis and hot tub scenes to keep him interested), the last episode he provided a great example of the difference between the workings of the female and male mind. When Sharleen said “I hope he sees me as a panda in a room full of brown bears”, I thought it was kind of cute so I looked at my husband and said, “that’s how I want you to see me, as a panda in a room of brown bears”. He looked at me and said “Why would you want that, those brown bears are gonna eat that panda”. Picture me shaking my head…..

Biscuits to Maddie, she is darling!

Comment: Probably not the response I would’ve given, but that’s why men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Or whatever.

Maddie is recovering today as she had her dental work done yesterday and they had to put her under. A little groggy to say the least.

Hey Steve,

This may be more of a mini rant than an actual question, but what is with Jake Pavelka? Every time I turn on the TV I am seeing commercials for this “Rachel vs Guy celebrity cook-off” and have to look at Jake cheesily arranging rose petals. Maybe the better question is why is he still being offered these gigs? He is really considered a “celebrity”? I’d classify him as more of an annoying has been than a celebrity, and after listening to him on that Gia tribute I just wish he would go away. Sorry but I had to unload for a minute and you were the obvious choice.


PS: Love that you brought back the live videos, I’m really enjoying them.

Comment: He’s a guy that went on the show in the first place because he wanted to re-start a failed acting career. He did the “Bachelorette,” then was the “Bachelor,” then did “Dancing with the Stars,” then did a publicized break up with Vienna, then was on some restaurant reality show, did a few episodes of “Drop Dead Diva,” now is doing this. Yeah, I guess you could say he got what he wanted out of it.

Hi Steve,

Love your blog. I have a busy life, and excellent entertainment is hard to find.
I am sure that there are many drinking game cues for JP’s season. We like
“Ayi, Ayi, Ayi!!” It does not come as often as “amazing,” or “kiss,” so we
have a big, yummy, fruity margarita in front of us. We cannot have a sip
until the magic words are spoken. We wait in (almost) breathless anticipation.
We wish he would say them more!

Cheers! Ayi, Ayi, Ayi!!

Comment: “Bachelor” drinking games definitely are easy to do because of the same phrases you hear every season. I don’t even know why people bother making drinking games out of this show when you already know what’s coming. Just drink consecutively for two hours and I think you’ll be fine.

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  1. bellalove

    February 13, 2014 at 10:04 AM

    Um did Steve just confirm Emily and Arie hooking up? She is not the poor innocent mom who gets engaged four times. Shocker.

  2. Sunnyside422

    February 13, 2014 at 11:11 AM

    Hum…perhaps Ari fessed up and told Jeffy he hit some of that (Emily) and Jeffy freaked! A twosome are not anymore! Sad.

    I think Juanny turns my stomach. I begin to read my book (John Grisham’s newbie) when he grabs face, hair, neck with any of the saps who signed up for this season. His hairdoo (or don’t) was something I could not name till I read a poster refer to him looking like a certain bird. Or maybe he uses a hand mixer to accomplish that weird do.

    Switched to The Following for the 2nd hour and read through most of the first. He bores me.

    Anyone think the Bachelor pool has hit the pond scum area? Jake the fake, Ben butt ugly with his neanderthal face, Sean sleep inducing and now Juanny the dunce. Ugh.

    “Stupid is as stupid does”…should be imprinted under his face each time he is shown.

    I’m doing a happy dance cause I knew he was fuggly back when he was with Des and those who swooned over his selection as Bachelor are now in my camp. Welcome ladies.

  3. bigfatwoman

    February 13, 2014 at 12:54 PM

    I’m not really sure what “insight” into Sean that Steve is talking about. It’s not even a matter of love him or hate him, there is nothing new here with this video.

    Let’s see….

    He didn’t have sex in college. He had lots of sex post college. He felt remorseful. He gave himself to the Lord. He had angst about going on the show. He needed the money. He gave in. He was surprised that he actually fell in love with Emily. He went home heartbroken. A few weeks later, he got the call to be the Bachelor. His family told him to go for it. He couldn’t believe he had all these women to choose from. It went against nature. He found Catherine. He chose Catherine. Someone asked how the sex was, he replied they were going to wait for marriage. The media went crazy. He was ostracized and made fun of. He felt persecuted despite his love for Jesus. He went on Dancing with the Stars. He took some money to endorse Hydroxycut even though it can be dangerous to take. He got married on tv. He made nightclub appearances. He sold his honeymoon photos to US magazine. He loves Jesus.

    I don’t know about you, but I didn’t learn anything new but I confirmed that I do indeed dislike this guy. He is opportunistic, hypocritical and an all around nice guy who is a dumb jock riding his 15 minutes hard.

  4. jacey

    February 13, 2014 at 2:59 PM

    @Bigfatwoman – Crying from laughing so hard, here. Did you do that all in one breath? 🙂

  5. rob22

    February 14, 2014 at 6:49 AM

    I’m conflicted on Sean. I do see him as a pretty nice guy who would be a pretty good father and husband. His religion is important to him and that will help him be grounded. But, he certainly took a two year vacation from being grounded. When the Bible says “Love of money is the root of all evil”, this is what it was talking about. When you are willing to put aside everything you stand for to make a buck, then you are compromising your beliefs. That said, I would be hard pressed to find anyone who hadn’t done the same thing to some extent. Greed is very tough to avoid for all of us. So, if he’s smart and wants to be true to who he is, he’ll distance himself from the franchise & start living his live consistent with his beliefs. If he continues to pimp himself to the media, then you know the greed bug is just too much for him to avoid.

  6. mush

    February 14, 2014 at 7:48 AM

    I gotta like him, despite all the use of his fame right now. hes thinking about the future of his family and saving money and sees nothing wrong with taking money now that is offered him in exchange for photos and such. he feels that it doesn’t change him or Catherine, so why not do it while they can? I would.

  7. Dianne

    February 14, 2014 at 8:20 AM

    I honestly don’t dislike either Sean or Ben. Sean is a little less transparent than Ben was..and he is who he is, take it or leave it. Ben? He TOTALLY did the show for himself, and nothing more. He fluffed the entire thing off as good publicity for him, and nothing more. I honestly think he was just way, wayyyyyyy too immature to grasp the reasons he was there. least he has a bit more comment sense and maturity and took the situation a whole lot more seriously.

  8. Dianne

    February 14, 2014 at 8:33 AM

    *common* even.

  9. mariet

    February 14, 2014 at 9:17 AM

    I agree with everything BFW said about Sean. How can anyone forget that shower scene at the end of one of his episodes? Hypocrite indeed.

  10. karynr

    February 14, 2014 at 2:51 PM

    Check out thedailybeast dot com. Great article.

  11. dottiedog

    February 17, 2014 at 10:06 AM

    I live in the KC area and last week the local news had a segment on the ten o’clock news after the bachelor that talked about the life of “our hometown girl” and showed her at the hospital working with children like she was the best thing ever. Hugging children, patients praising her. The town she is from is called Kearney, pronounced “CAR-KNEE”.

  12. sunday

    February 18, 2014 at 4:44 AM

    Just wanted to comment on last night’s episode that if I never read Steve’s spoilers, after watching the show last night I would know that J.P. picks Nik. Meeting his daughter and family totally gave it away.

  13. jacey

    February 18, 2014 at 11:22 AM

    Yeah, I don’t think that was as much about Nikki’s ‘coronation’ as it was JP being tone deaf when it comes to any culture but his own. The significance of taking that girl around his family (and EX) was lost on him.

    His #1 backed out (better late than never, I say) before home visits, and his #2 is soon to follow. Of the other two remaining, there’s no way he was pick’n Clare, so Nikki got it by default. Incidentally, just how dull is this man’s bulb??? “I wish I was dumber” — I think that’s what Sharleen said, or something to that effect — was a direct insult. Whoosh!!! Right over JP’s head. Day-um!!!

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