Ahhhh, we’re at that time of year again. The days leading up to the finale, the tabloids go crazy to get their final stories posted, and the speculation of what happens brings in all sorts of crazy rumors, wild innuendos, and basically a bunch of hot air. Tabloids have a story to tell. It’s why four months ago when I released the spoilers, none of them talk about it. They can’t. They’re job is to sell you stories throughout the season to keep you engaged and reading. They’re not gonna post a story in Week 1 of the show about how Juan Pablo is a playboy, womanizer, and doesn’t care about being the “Bachelor” for anything other than money. No, they focus on the early season girls. Then as the show goes on they focus on the girls who last longer. Then a week or two before the finale is where they ramp up the coverage on the ending and throw out a bunch of stuff to make you think something crazy happens. Everyone can read into whatever they want, and they can dissect the promo of Clare crying, Nikki crying, and Juan Pablo “walking away” from the final rose ceremony stand to make you think he left alone. It’s all smoke and mirrors. I’ve said it since November 20th, and I’ll say it again: Juan Pablo chose Nikki at the end but didn’t propose to her. That fact absolutely cannot be changed. As for what happens at the live ATFR, I don’t know. I know they are still together and they will be together when you see them on the ATFR. Will he propose? Well, the monetary offer is on the table for him too. Should be interesting.
Tonight will be the night to get your last licks in before the finale airs, so be sure to join me on the live video chat at 9:00pm EST/6:00pm PST. I’m sure people will have their thoughts regarding the finale, the ATFR show, and what the future holds. When the post goes up later today (some time around 3:00 or 4:00 CST), you can begin asking your questions immediately by clicking the blue “Question” button on the screen. See you tonight.
As mentioned a couple weeks ago, Andi will be announced as the “Bachelorette” on the ATFR. Her season begins filming Tuesday or Wednesday night in LA at the mansion. In case you missed my tweet yesterday, if you live in LA (or even if you don’t and you want to fly out for a day or whatever), you can be a part of one of Andi’s dates next Saturday in Hollywood by clicking this link. Obviously they aren’t giving many details away yet, but since this is a “public” date, spoilers will be pretty easy. Not sure if it’s a 1-on-1 or a group date yet, but I’m guessing come next Saturday, I’ll be able to fill you in on what the date was all about and who was on it. You know, just a hunch.
Another week, another Juan Pablo tabloid story. Juan Pablo lives at home with his parents. Shocking it took them this long to report it. Before any of you dismiss this as tabloid garbage, let me weigh in. Actually, this story isn’t accurate. Juan Pablo does not live in a condo with his parents. He lives in a condo with his parents, Carla, Camila, his sister, and her kid. Fact. And no, he doesn’t have any money either. Was waiting for this story to come out so I could add to it. Not surprising they waited til days before the finale. That’s how it works. Yeah, and Nikki and Juan Pablo are going to get married someday. You keep believing that.
Couple stories that are a bit old, but figured I’d mention. Kiptyn and Tenley are back together. Great. Now I won’t get asked about them anymore. Or maybe I will. I mean, we didn’t need a press release to let us know this. Both of them were posting pictures together during Christmas of them in Hawaii. Do people take Hawaiian vacations with their ex’s just for fun? Didn’t think so.
Molly ate chocolate covered insects when she filled in on KIIS FM in Seattle a couple weeks ago. Here’s the footage in case you missed it:
Jef Holm was hitting on Juan Pablo’s girls when he attended the WTA after party last week, even though a day later he told Us Weekly that he’s in a relationship? No way! I’ve never heard of anything of the such when talking about Jef.
Cassandra did a local interview this week talking about her time on the show, and basically confirmed again that Juan Pablo wasn’t interested in most of the girls and Nikki wasn’t liked.
Hey guess what? Someone emailed “Dr. Reality Steve” this week. And since it’s only one, I figured I’d just share it here on page 1 rather than bury it at the end of the “Reader Emails.” Enjoy…
I’ve found myself in quite the pickle, and I’d really appreciate some of Dr. Reality Steve’s insight. I’ve been dating this guy for a little over a year now and (pardon my puke-worthy cliche) he truly is my best friend. We have a blast together, can talk for hours, and he even watches The Bachelor with me. Sounds peachy, right?
Well, like most relationships, we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs… and lately, it seems like we’ve had more “downs” than “ups.” I think the technical term for our condition is “stuck in a rut.” Though we’ve been together for over a year, our relationship feels like it hasn’t developed beyond the “six month” mark. There’s no talk of moving in together or someday getting married… and while I’m not trying to jump the gun, I think that after the one year mark, those kind of topics should at least start coming into conversation. (I mean hell, we’re watching a show where people wind up engaged after a matter of weeks… I think the gestation period for herpres is longer than that!)
All of this unspoken tension finally shattered when I confronted him about our uncertain future. That’s when he admitted that he doesn’t see us lasting forever. I was pretty shocked. Once I picked my jaw up from the floor, we had a heart-to-heart (really, it was more of a Spanish Inquisition), and he elaborated: we don’t have enough of a zing to last forever and he can’t see us getting married. He then added that he still sees a chance that we could be “soulmates,” but “it’s just too early to tell,” and “he hasn’t fallen absolutely in love yet.”
Now to be fair, I haven’t had the cathartic “you’re my soulmate” moment either. In fact, I’ve had a few moments where I looked at him and, in a fit of rage, thought, “yeah, I think I’m done here.” But those were all thoughts I kept to myself, and now he’s gone and said something and it’s really hard to go back to being optimistic about a relationship once your partner has flat out said “this probably isn’t going anywhere.”
The conversation really left me with the strangest taste in my mouth… as if I’d just been fed crap. I still don’t know what to make of it. This isn’t covered in “He’s Just Not That Into You,” and typing “my boyfriend says I’m not his soulmate yet but he’s not sure so he thinks we should just keep dating with reckless abandon until either something catastrophic happens or he falls madly in love with me” into the Google search engine didn’t yield any real insight. To make matters worse, he’s made a few other offhand remarks after the conversation like “I don’t see myself getting married for at least another five years” or “I don’t know if I really want kids” — statements TOTALLY contrary to everything he’s ever said about his desires to get married and raise a family.
I’d really appreciate your advice, Steve. What’s a woman to do when a man essentially tells her that they don’t have a future? Where do we go from here? Do I bandage my ego (are there even bandages big enough?) and continue to muscle through? Do I accept my losses and walk away? Do I need to keep asking questions, or have I given you enough to work with here?
P.S. If it matters, he’s nearing 30 and has been previously engaged (which ended with him being painfully dumped for another man) and I’m in my mid twenties. Those details are important, right?
Thanks in advance, I really hope you take the time to answer because I would appreciate a perspective other than my own self-pitying one.
Comment: So your boyfriend of a year told you to your face he can’t see you guys getting married and you’re asking what you should do? Muscle through or leave? Ummmmm, sounds pretty cut and dry to me. Not to mention how he’s apparently a walking contradiction from things he said earlier in your relationship. If someone told me they didn’t want to be with me anymore, especially someone I’d been dating a year, my bags would be packed before dinner is made. He sees no future, so why should there be a present?
Any guy who tells his girlfriend of a year that he could never see himself marrying her, yet he thinks she’s his soulmate needs his head checked. Cut your losses and get out. He doesn’t want you, so you shouldn’t want him.