Reality Steve

Bach in Paradise Spoilers

The “Bachelorette” Andi Episode 5 Recap & Your First “Bachelor in Paradise” Spoilers

-We are now in Marseille, France. We know this because Andi is already there doing her, “I’m gonna walk around the streets of this place by myself as a random cameraman follow me around.” That’s disappointing. I much more prefer it when they show us a map of the United States, and the picture of a plane taking off from Connecticut and landing in France. It’s so much better that way because I loved being treated like I’m a complete imbecile since I couldn’t possibly know how and what route they took to get from CT to France. I hope when they fly from France to Italy next week, the map returns. “The Bachelorette” ceases becoming about faux romance at that point and becomes a geography lesson, so I’m begging you, please bring it back. Chris Harrison meets up with Andi to see how she’s doing and he’s wearing the finest turtleneck that the year 1993 had to offer. Nice look, Chris. Hopefully you didn’t add that to your clothing line that’s fallen off the face of the earth since you launched it. As for Andi’s attire, lets just say if there’s one thing I’ve learned about Andi this season is that she likes wearing leather. A lot. Although when she got up from her chat, her leather skirt also somewhat resembled a Hefty garbage bag.

-Uh oh. The Suave Salon Hair Confidential commercials are back, and this time it’s with Andi, Des, and Catherine as the three of them are talking about her rose ceremony hair for later in the episode, even though these commercials were shot after they had returned from their European travel. Andi really wants to get crazy with tonight’s hair style so she’s looking for a “sophisticated pony tail.” Translation: We really need to drag out these commercials since Suave is paying a pretty penny for them, so we might as well come up with tens of different ways to style my hair for the camera, even though I could probably do this myself. Or something like that. If Suave paid more than $100 for these commercials, they overpaid. Just bad all around if you ask me. How about next season, we just skip this whole piece all together? Whaddya’ say? It’s not the greatest acting, it really serves no purpose other than lining this show’s pockets with more money, and it’s distracting me from the show. Lets take my feelings into account from now on, people. Thanks.

-Josh gets the first 1-on-1 date and boy is he pumped. So pumped that jock boy is already making NFL metaphors for his first 1-on-1. “If the wedding is the Super Bowl, then this date is a big playoff game.” In case you didn’t know, Josh is Sporty McSportstein. His life basically has revolved around athletics ever since he graduated high school. Got drafted to play minor league baseball right out of high school and did that for 5 years. Then went to followed his younger brother to play football at UGA. So yeah, don’t expect Josh to be giving any metaphors about this show and how it’s similar to quantam physics. Not quite. Josh like sports. Josh play sports. Josh want football. Me Josh. You Andi. We go date. And on their date which they board a boat and cruise around, Andi says that their “physical chemistry is insane” but that she’s dated athletes before and she doesn’t want to stereotype him. So Josh talks about his baseball career and how he gave it up because he was injured, but also that because he was looking to start a family and living that life isn’t the most conducive way. He’s right. Almost all ballplayers have mistresses and side pieces when they’re on the road. It’s part of the game. Yes, even your favorite player. So Josh got out of that and now he’s more focused, so, he joined a reality dating show with a horrible track record. Seems logical.

-The ride about the boat continues and brings them to the Calangues. Google it if you want to know what that is. It’s rocks that overlook the Mediterranean. Or as Josh sees it: “Mmmm…grrr…rocks. Me start fire.” So they are sitting a top the lovely Calangues and you’ll never guess what they’re talking about. Sports. More talk about Josh’s past baseball career that really didn’t get him anywhere, and Andi is starting to get worried that their connection “solely physical.” It very well could be Andi. Then again, your dad is obsessed with Josh’s brother, fangirled over the fact Aaron started following you on Twitter back in January, and basically wants you to conceive your first child between the hedges at Sanford Stadium. I say you give the man what he wants or Hy won’t be happy. I mean, despite all things that are Josh, could Andi really have gone through this process and not chosen the guy whose brother was the face for UGA football the last 4 years? Hy would’ve had a conniption and probably tried to disown Andi as a daughter for not getting possible ticket hookups to all future UGA games.

-We get a quick shot back to the rest of the guys at the hotel, and as I told you, the subject of what Andrew said about Marquel (and Ron for that matter) gets brought up. JJ says on the night of the first rose ceremony, he was standing next to Andrew and heard Andrew say after Andi gave the rose to Ron, “she gave it to the blackies.” Now, in Andrew’s defense, he clearly thought this show was airing in 1914 and not 2014, so he tried to use the appropriate language. Holy crap! Blackies? Are you kidding me? Andrew does come across as pretty smug, an elitist, and a pampered baby, but going to the “blackie” card? Not cool. JJ was the one who says he heard it, and even said himself, “He could’ve said ‘two blacks’ or ‘blackies’,” but Nick even chimed in saying he knew what Andrew had said. Obviously this was not the last of this conversation and was a running theme all night since Marquel was absolutely offended, as he should’ve been. Here’s why I tend to believe he said it. Maybe not the word “blackies,” but some reference to the fact that black guys got roses. Because it was JJ who came forward with it. JJ does not strike me in the least bit as someone who would completely make something up like that out of thin air, or because he was coaxed by producers. I don’t buy that came out of nowhere and JJ just did it to stir up drama.

-Andi and Josh’s date continues at Palais Longchamp. Never heard of it, I just wrote it down because that’s what came on the screen. Over dinner these two start talking, yet again, about how Josh is totally her type, the guy that she usually goes for, but is worried about dating the athlete again because she’s been burned before. Josh knows the stigma attached to Andi so he tells her about his ex from 5 years ago that also had to deal with rumors of him cheating. She was away at college and right before Josh was going to see her one time, she admitted she cheated on him. I guess all the cheating rumors that surrounded Josh that she heard all the time got to her and she just figured, “Heh..well two can play that game.” Josh says he’s always felt judged because he’s an athlete and yada yada yada. Then they kissed more and more and talked about how they live 2 minutes away from each other. Well, it’s more like 10 but who’s counting? Andi then asks if Josh would give her season tickets to UGA games, a signed jersey for Hy, Mark Richt’s home address so she can toilet paper his house, and a glossy photo of the latest Uga dog. Josh obliges and Andi makes up her mind to get married to him right there in France. Kidding. But she probably wanted to.

-They get a nice little concert performed by Ben Fields as the both of them just start whispering billions of compliments to each other. “so happy,” “night is so perfect,” “you make me happy,” “take off your clothes.” You know, the normal stuff when a superstar like Ben Fields is performing. Now if Ben Folds was there, now we’d be talking. But since he’s a judge on an NBC show, probably hard to get him to fly to France to play the same song over and over and over for two people he doesn’t know. Andi even made it a point to tell Josh to listen to the words. I don’t know if he did or didn’t. I know I didn’t. I was counting down the minutes until we got to see the “Bachelor in Paradise” promo, so I really could not care what Ben Fields was singing to be honest with you. Please forgive me for not writing the lyrics down to that song. Google it. Or hey, just tweet at Ben Fields and tell him you want him to come play in your background. I’m sure he’s down.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. rob22

    June 17, 2014 at 12:51 PM

    FYI, Chuck Oliver, who tweeted about Josh Murray being in Mexico is the local college football expert in Atlanta. He knows EVERYTHING about SEC football, and especially about Georgia football. He spends a good part of his day talking about that and for the past four years, about his brother Aaron Murray who was a 4 year starting QB there. So, that’s where he knows who Josh Murray is… Though I’m sure he’s aware that he’s on The Bachelor.

  2. rob22

    June 17, 2014 at 1:04 PM

    I think the whole thing about Andrew using the term “blackie” is bogus. Who uses that term? Someone’s grandfather? Nick made a comment in the ITM that he wasn’t sure whether he said blackies or black guys. The latter is far more likely. But the show ran with blackie since that was far more offensive and created the desired drama. Heck, it even got Marquel to cry. Some producer got a bonus over that little stroke of genius. Andrew certainly is getting the bad edit. People who go on this show need to realize this could happen. Now Andrew will forever be the racist on The Bachelor. Fair? Maybe, but if he said black guy instead of blackie he was only commenting on something that is very obvious on this show. The black guys never stick around long. Maybe Andrew is a racist tool, but we’ll never be sure. I’m sure it will be a big source of drama on MTA. He said/he said.

  3. rob22

    June 17, 2014 at 1:09 PM

    Excuse me …. That was JJ who commented in the ITM. Still not buying it that the word blackies was used. If it would have been a standard racial slur, I might buy it…. But the more I think about it, I’m not sure I’ve ever heard ANYONE use that slur…. And I’ve heard plenty of slurs over the years from some pretty ignorant people.

  4. LynnMJ

    June 17, 2014 at 1:36 PM

    …a “standard” racial slur?? Uh, OK. By the look on his face when he was confronted, my guess would be that he did say it.

  5. topazgold

    June 17, 2014 at 1:56 PM

    @LynnMJ, I was thinking the same thing “standard racial slur” ?!? Only then it would be believable?!? Wow!

  6. Athena

    June 17, 2014 at 2:00 PM

    Is it just me, or does anyone else think that Marquel is the most gorgeous, articulate, mature guy on the show…maybe ever?! Take out gorgeous if he’s not your type physically, but regardless of that, he just rocked that whole racial-slur situation – he said he needed to think about how he was feeling, and then when he confronted, he was completely respectful, he used I statements, feeling statements, all the while being able to identify and express his emotions in such a clear and non-dramatic way. His tears were genuine and he didn’t apologize for letting us see his pain. And then he let it be known that he was “done with it” and ready to move on.

    I was sooooo bummed that Andi sent him home at the end of last night, and sure wish ABC would consider him for the next Bachelor. I even liked his exit intv., he didn’t blame Andi, he didn’t throw a pity party for himself, he simply said that he was really wanting to find love. Classy all the way.

    Just wondering if anyone else was as impressed by his character as I was, and if so, do you think that if he were white, they’d consider casting him for the next lead? I know he didn’t make it that far, but oh my, he sure would do a great job.

  7. ireland10

    June 17, 2014 at 2:13 PM

    Is it just me or does Andi seem to pout quite a bit? Especially during the rose ceremonies she constantly seems to pout. Not sure why but I’m just not feeling her as the batchelorette.

  8. karynr

    June 17, 2014 at 2:57 PM

    Ireland, I’m feeling the opposite this season. I think Andi is a breath of fresh air after the last two seasons. I think everyone has certain physical things that annoy others, and I imagine when it’s magnified on TV and the internet, everyone talks about it. It seems pretty normal to me.

    I like the men better this season too. There are some fairly normal ones in the bunch……I think. Dylan’s family situation breaks my heart.

    I finally caught up and have to say the Eric/Andi situation was sad to see, knowing that was the last conversation they had, and he passed so tragically. I’m glad to hear donations will be made to LiveLikeEric. Sign me up!

    I asked my library if they’re going to order Courtney’s book and they don’t know yet. I love reading, and some good trash every so often is a good thing! I’ve read a few reviews and she really lets it all hang out. I don’t know if it’s worth what Amazon wants for the Kindle or hardcover. The paperback won’t be out until Jan. 2015. I accidentally ordered it on Amazon and canceled when I realized I wouldn’t get it until Jan!

    The new show sounds strange, but I have no doubt I’ll be watching (or recording….or on demand). I don’t look forward to having to watch Chris Buttface again, but I’ll just sit back and enjoy watching him make an a** of himself, once again.

  9. bigfatwoman

    June 17, 2014 at 3:02 PM

    @Athena…..I agree with you 110% on Marquel. He has proven himself to be quite the man in so many respects. I think he’s a real catch and if he hooked up with Michelle Money on Bach in Paradise—they would be one sexy couple.

    I am definitely disappointed in who Andi devotes all her attention to. Nick is proving himself to be kinda squirrely, Marcus doesn’t show much of a personality and Josh is really just a dumb jock. Why does someone like him constantly refer to himself as an athlete? Maybe you were once involved in professional athletics for a hot minute, but no more my friend. His constant references to his glory days would be a huge red flag for me.

    Andi would be wise to go with one of the three best guys on the show (in my opinion):

    1). Chris
    2). Dylan
    3). Marquel

    Andi is a foolish woman. Her relationship with Josh the self obsessed phony gopher, will go nowhere. Good luck Hun.

  10. vessel

    June 17, 2014 at 3:07 PM

    Karynr, I completely agree. I thought the last 2 Bachelorette seasons were completely boring. I found both Desiree and Emily not very bright, dull conversationalists and their “crop” of guys mostly not likeable. I really like Andi so far and agree she has some really good guys, too. I notice her down-turned mouth and her use of “y’all” and “stop” but it really doesn’t bug me, maybe because I just find her likeable.

    Also I think the backlash she is getting regarding Eric’s departure is ludicrous. It’s all because he happened to die, if he hadn’t no one would have given her so much crap, and by now he’d be long forgotten. don’t get me wrong I think his passing is a horrible tragedy, but people act like she is somehow to blame, which is craziness.

    I’ll watch BIP too, but so far it sounds really strange. Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t Michelle Kujawa that nutty girl from Jake’s season who cried because he wasn’t kissing her right? I can’t place her if that isn’t her…

  11. angelfish

    June 17, 2014 at 4:00 PM

    The only thing I didn’t care for in the Marquel / Andrew brouhaha was that I felt Marquel should have taken Andrew aside, away from the other guys, and calmly ask for an explanation. Everything Marquel said & did was reasonable and measured EXCEPT for doing it in front of everybody. Of course the cameras would still be there, but I think the guys have a little discretion at how they handle things like this.

    I’ve thought him very classy and mannerly thus far, but this was a situation I felt he could have handled more maturely.

  12. thisissoembarrassing

    June 17, 2014 at 5:18 PM

    It really is embarrassing how excited I just got reading about Marquel and Michelle Money. I just think she’s the best – doesn’t always make the right choices, little full of herself sometimes, but really seems like a good person – and entertaining as hell. Seems like she deserves a great/not to mention unique! guy, and MARQUEL is hot Hot HOT, and seems like a truly good guy — was so sad to see him go last night. LOVE THIS PAIRING. So embarrassing… but whatever. Hope these two actually work out!

  13. purplesunsets

    June 17, 2014 at 9:25 PM

    I know RS said Marquel’s chances of being Bachelor are impossible since he is on BIP.. but if he like say gets off early? That Marquel for Bachelor campaign on twitter and IG is quite popular like ahem JPG last season. Funny what one episode does. I think maybe he deserves a shot, MMA trainer thats good stuff.

    The Andrew comment seems to have some proof from JJ’s screencap of Ep 1 when you see Andrew lean towards JJ and say something while one of said guys were infront. So MTA will be more of a what was said? Hard to deny when there’s a cap.

  14. springgirl

    June 18, 2014 at 4:22 AM

    Just because he’s in BIP doesn’t mean Marquel doesn’t have a shot at the Bachelor. If Producers think he will bring in money and ratings, they will make it happen.

  15. angelfish

    June 18, 2014 at 4:36 AM

    While I think Marquel is riding a wave of support and sympathy, he’s a salesman from Las Vegas and Chris is a rich farmer with family money. Not that it matters that, but if I wanted to go on the show, and given the choice, I’d definitely prefer the substance and security of Chris’ lifestyle.

    JPG notwithstanding, I think the producers prefer guys that own something or have a more lucrative career. (Winery owner, bar owner, pilot, doctor, etc.)

  16. rob22

    June 18, 2014 at 6:45 AM

    Re: Marquel: while being on BIP doesn’t technically mean that he couldn’t be the Bachelor, there are a couple of major issues. (1) Marquel, like many on Bachelor Pad, could easily soil his image if the show turns out to be scummy and (2) if he actually found love with someone like Michelle Money, he would not be believable as The Bachelor. I’m not sure the timing of the show would allow for MF to assess any potential damage to Marquels believability before making the call on next years lead. If he hadn’t gone to BIP, which he did solely to extend his 15 minutes (as many, many others have done before him, he’d be an excellent candidate for The Bachelor. Chris doesn’t have the personality to carry the show. Marquel certainly does.

  17. rob22

    June 18, 2014 at 6:54 AM

    Going back to the “slur” commentary, my main point was that while Andrew undoubtedly said something off color and offensive, by substituting “blackies” for “black guys” the show made the whole incident far more offensive. As RS said, “blackies” is a comment worthy of the 1914 Jim Crow south. Substitute “black guys”, which JJ admitted on the ITM might have been why Andrew said, and while still off color and inappropriate, it wouldn’t rise to the level of a racial slur like blackies does. Andrew would still look bad and still wouldn’t have gotten a rose, but the level of drama would have been much lower. Marquel still would have rightly confronted Andrew for questioning why Andi gave roses to “the black guys”, but that’s different from confronting Andrew about referring to Marquel as a “blackie”.

  18. angelfish

    June 18, 2014 at 9:09 AM

    We certainly haven’t yet seen from Chris a big personality that screams “show lead”. However, he has shown himself to be thoughtful and sympathetic to others. He demonstrates appropriate behavior and undertakes group dates with good humor and a willingness to look silly. He’s attractive, educated, family-oriented and financially stable.

    As I’ve said before, TB is his to lose. I simply feel he is not only 100% what the producers are looking for, but also who they have already begun crafting the upcoming show around. I think his slot as TB was planned from the audition/application phase.

  19. strick432

    June 18, 2014 at 10:09 AM

    Does anybody else think Josh looks like Luke Bryan on steroids?

  20. thisissoembarrassing

    June 18, 2014 at 11:16 AM

    I don’t know about the steroids, but my God, he does sweat a LOT. The guy is just.so.shiny. All the time. And to reference what was said above: HE IS NOT AN ATHLETE.

    It’s so weird to me that Andi’s acting like she’s going to be Yankee wife or something. Um, sweetie? He’s not a baseball player. He’s in “financial services”, whatever that means. You’re not going to suit up in his jersey and cheer him on while he’s rounding 3rd. You’re going to bring him lunch, at his cubicle, when he leaves it on the counter. And he’s going to talk about stock options at dinner. Now extra innings. Just a heads up.

  21. kasey31

    June 18, 2014 at 9:32 PM

    What a strange season so far. I was really far behind y’all (sorry, had to!) and just caught up. I started off really loving Andi, but that was short lived. I don’t *hate* her, but I certainly don’t find myself loving her like I thought I would. I can absolutely see now how she was part of the “Mean Girls” club on JP’s season, whereas as before, I didn’t get that vibe from her and wondered why RS kept referencing that about her. And it’s difficult to get a good read on who she is as a person- I’ve seen her wear so many different faces depending on who she’s with at the time, that now nothing about her comes across as genuine or sincere. Maybe this is where age and maturity does come into play, and maybe she still doesn’t have a good grasp on who she is. Maybe in 20 years she’ll watch this back in embarrassment, but one thing I never got with the lead was inconsistency. Emily was consistently snobby, Des was a doll, but consistently boring, Ashley consistently sweet, but the only thing consistent about Andi is that she’s inconsistent. Now I see where Eric was coming from, and I think Nick in the tape piece RS got insinuates the same thing about her. The sweet, inquisitive, carefree, fun loving, Andi she was during her 1-on-1 with Eric, or the confident, quick, kind of hood rat(ish) Andi she is when she’s around Josh are in stark contrast, and yet she’s believable on both dates. It’s like she takes on different identities depending on who she is dating. I would take boring Des over Andi any day of the week in the real world.

    Another odd thing this season is the villain edit.
    I agree with @Rob22- Andrew was definitely set up this season as the villain. The burning question to me is *when* did they decide to pin Andrew with the title? Bc unless they were originally prepping Eric to do the honors, I just don’t think the show had many choices, or footage to air (and perhaps they stopped looking after Eric’s departure, knowing they could manipulate that storyline into a great villain’s edit), as no one really comes across cringeworthy enough to be deserving of it, not like they have in prior seasons, at least. Wes, Vienna, Rated R Rego, Michelle Money, Courtney, Tierra and her sparkles- they’ve always had a stand out villain. Seems like they got to Andrew’s edit at the last minute, which, again, makes me wonder if their original plan was to really stick Eric Hill with the villain edit this season and use a lot of unseen ITMs and spliced footage to create the typical villain we’re used to seeing. But yea, I have to agree with you, Rob, what a strange slur.. “Blackie”? I’ve just never heard anyone use that term before, it almost seems too silly to take seriously. But that mixed with the, “You bragged about getting another girl’s phone number” footage from earlier is perhaps all they had to use for a fill-in villain. Sadly, had Eric Hill not died, we undoubtedly never would have seen what really transpired between him and Andi, and would have probably been left thinking Eric was a total ass. When in reality, he seemed to be in tune with Andi’s fake persona very early on and had the wherewithal to call her out on it.
    Anyway, this is by far one of the weirdest seasons I think I’ve seen.

  22. Sunnyside422

    June 19, 2014 at 7:47 AM

    I had to re-watch Eric’s episodes and felt more and more that he was one very classy and put together young man…very well spoken. And not even considering how good looking he was, he seemed to be totally confident in himself and able to see others well.

    Andi totally overreacted when he gently spoke to her about his take on her behavior. She can be very snarky to some and then a gooey, sloppy mess with Josh. I will say it must have been hard for her to pretend to care for anyone when it was evident Josh was her number one. Ali admitted Roberto was gonna be it from the very beginning and she had to “act” like she cared for anyone else.

    I think Josh will see a lot of her pouty looks as she has perfected that look and it is annoying as hell! Her upper lip on the right side turns upward in an strange way as she speaks. I keep focusing on that and miss half of what she is saying. I think she is okay in the looks department…nothing special. But such a huge step up from the “everything fake” Emily!

    As for Nick…can’t understand what he is saying half the time. He definitely has some speech impediment…maybe a lisp, who knows. Not attractive at all to me.

    I will say that this bunch of men seem to be a better quality…drinking coffee rather than guzzling down the booze has impressed me. I so hate the drunken louts of seasons past.

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