Reality Steve

Dr. Reality Steve

“Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” & Nick Is At It Again

First…one quick comment about Andi and Josh ….Ok initially I said I thought that there was no way josh would stay with andi because he would want a woman who wasn’t known to be a slut by the mass media …that he would want to go on and meet some sweet southern girl to go to ball games with his family…

But now I’m not so sure ….maybe he’s thinking it’s better for his career to stay with Andi and continue to be the “winner” on national tv with a tv wedding. I think she’s probably convinced him of this … We will see! If Andi is a slut for sleeping with more than one guy in the fantasy suite, then there’s plenty of others that are as well.

Ok now to bachelor In paradise ….I loved Lacy last night. Maybe because I know she ends up engaged. I didn’t care that she said 80/40 lol I still thought she was cute and sweet. She seems to come across that way in social media too.

Ashlee needs counseling! No doubt she has some serious attachment issues she needs to work through. Maybe this scrutiny is part of her therapy.

And one question for you Steve …

What would you tell someone is the hardest part of your job? You seem to have a great sense of self and besides the doubters (they do rattle you) you seem to truly not care what others think of you or write about you. How did you become so secure in your career?

Comment: My job isn’t hard at all. I’ve said that numerous times. It’s just time consuming. A lot more tedious than it is hard.

I’ve never cared what anyone who doesn’t know me thought of me. Completely irrelevant. And if they think they know who I am based on what they read, then they’re not all that bright, making it more irrelevant what they think. More people should live their life this way, namely the contestants in this franchise.

Reality Steve,

Forgive me if you had already said this, but I was just wondering if you knew what josh had lied about on the lie detector test or if you could find out. I am just really curious.

And I just love your website and your input on things.

Comment: I have no idea.

Hey Steve,

Do you know what that Tulum, Mexico property is? Hotel, vacation rental, etc.? Just wondering because it actually looked kind of crappy to me, and Jason and Molly said in their podcast today it was like 100 degrees and that place had no A/C. Why force uncomfortable conditions on everyone? It just seems to me this show always seems to have the budget for really nice suites, I was wondering why so rustic this time?

Thanks and take care!

Comment: Not sure, but I’m hearing basically nobody liked the conditions down there. Chris Harrison referenced exactly where they stayed in his last blog, but I can’t remember the name.

Hi Steve,

I’m a long-time reader, and have emailed a few times. I’m oddly fascinated by the “behind the scenes” aspect of the Bachelor franchise. Some questions for you about Bachelor in Paradise:

1) For the couples that “make it” at the end (Marcus/Lacy, Cody/Michelle, Chris/Elise), do any of them live in the same city? Is the franchise sponsoring any “safe house” style visits, in the same way that they do for the Bachelor/ette? I would assume that they must have to (particularly given that Marcus/Lacy are engaged). However, this show seems to be considerably lower budget than Bachelor/ette, so I was wondering if they would cut back on this as well? None of them do, and Chris and Elise are already broken up. From what I’m hearing, Lacy is planning on moving to Dallas and Cody has already closed up shop at his gym in Chicago and is moving to Salt Lake City. I don’t know if they’re giving them safe house visits, but if I had to guess, I’d say no.

2) Again for the couples that “make it”, do you think they will get the same type of treatment that other “successful” couples get? i.e. if Marcus/Lacy do eventually get married, would they televise it do you think? Would they be invited to other shows to give advice?

Comment: I highly doubt it. This show is like the “Bachelor’s” red headed step child. I don’t think it really matters to them if these couples stay together or not.

Hey Steve

Firstly, I’d like to say your recaps of anything Bachelor related is absolutely fantastic. The humor in your writing is brilliant. I mean I usually catch up on your blog at work and at times I have to control myself from laughing. Haha. Anyways, the question I had was how do you keep yourself so informed on most of the postings about the Bachelor Franchise. I mean the article you posted of Arie was amazing. Amazing in the sense it was so fake and definitely an audition to the Producers for the Bachelor.

Do you follow blogs from previous contestants or do you have people letting you know if they hear or see anything posted on the Bachelor. I just love the research you put into your work.

Great job and keep on spoiling

Comment: Other than skimming a few of Sharleen’s recaps this season, is there anyone else from this franchise that writes a weekly blog? Most people don’t want to put the time and effort into it. Not to mention live tweeting is the way to go now. That’s what most do.


I agree with you that bachelor pad was more entertaining. Chris Harrison has been ranting and raving about this new show as the best show they have ever done, stating he had a problem with the competitive factor that was on bachelor pad. It seems like a free for all, and anything goes. My question is, do you at least think this new format on bachelor in paradise is more conducive to contestants finding a real connection with someone? Not really. You’re spending 3 weeks with them total. No different than on “Bachelor Pad.” Essentially the same concept except for no challenges or money. Just date, hook up, and see what happens. Then at the end, if you really like someone, producers will strongly encourage you to get engaged. They did it for Blake and Holly on BP2, and they did it for Tony and Blakeley on BP3. They even tried to get Chris to propose to Elise this season and he turned them down, so they went to Marcus.

My second question is that Ben Flajnik announced last week that he’s out of the wine business for good, and he’s started a new company called Gratci. I wondered if you know what this is all about?

Outstanding spoilers this season, your best ever.


Comment: I saw he tweeted that out, but I haven’t looked up what Gratci is.

Holy crap bachelor paradise! Ashley Fraizer – desperate much? Is it just me or do they seem to be showing more of the girls’ personalities on this show? And on Bachelor/ette the contestants always seem to look flawless. On BIP they seem to look more real – bodies not as perfect. Do you think it’s the way the shows are filmed? It’s definitely the format. 25 girls chasing one guy is completely different than this show. BP and BIP have always been different than the “Bachelor/ette” shows.

Have they ever has any bisexual contestants? Do you think they ever will? I think it would be interesting to see a few contestants wanting to hook up with eachother instead of the lead!

Comment: Krisily Kennedy is bisexual. Granted, she came out with that announcement AFTER she had done the “Bachelor” and “Bachelor Pad,” but she definitely is. As far as I know, no one else has officially come out as gay or bisexual, but you can rest assured there are few that are.

I get that Lacy is hot and has huge boobs, but this first night of BIP was really the Lacy show in many ways. Her edit was pretty outstanding for someone unknown who was eliminated night 1 of her season. Do you know if producers cast her on Juan Pablo’s season thinking she’d make it pretty far (top 4), but then (shockingly) JP was an idiot and didn’t follow their expectations by letting her go?

Comment: I don’t know what they thought of her. But obviously she is going to get a lot of air time on BIP because she’s one of the two successful couples at the end. That shouldn’t surprise anyone. And oh yeah, boobs.

Thanks to Lacy for giving me one – make that two – reasons for watching this otherwise horrid show. Before she showed up with her pink bikini, it was 80/40 whether I would even continue to watch at all.

Comment: What two reasons are those? I have no idea what you’re talking about. Please explain.

Hi Steve,

This is the first season I’ve paid any attention to social media. Is all this hate mail and backbiting against Andi typical??? Every season people will complain about something. It’s the media world we live in now.

I thought Andi was a good bachelorette. She was fair – she gave all the guys a chance, she kept up the suspense for the show, had two guys at the end as they want (maybe by hook or by crook), she answered all reasonable questions on the MTA and ATFR, and got engaged. What more does the show want? Apparently her blood.

How were the ratings for Andi’s season compared to others? What I saw for her season looked good to me, but you’ve got the history.

Comment: Her season was solid in the ratings. Certainly wasn’t the best, nor was it the worst.

Count me in as one of the people that will be very disappointed if Chris isn’t the next Bachelor. After last season, I would think they would want someone exactly like Chris. Down-to-earth and wanting to find love. Not a player yet again like last season.

I would imagine some of the woman who tried out will be upset if it isn’t him either.

When is filming supposed to start? When will we know? At least unofficially.

Comment: I would expect it will be spoiled fairly soon. Filming for the “Bachelor” for the last 6 seasons has started mid/late Sept. I expect the same again.

Is it just me, or does Lacy have shifty eyes? It seemed like she was looking up at something over in the corner rather than into the eyes of whatever guy she was talking to. Annoying.

Comment: I haven’t noticed Lacy’s shifty eyes. I’ll try and pay attention next week.

Hey Steve,

I counted at least three times during BIP where a random producer/handler/crew member was obviously and fully visible. I can’t remember really ever seeing that in Bachelor/ette episodes, outside of the shadow of a boom mic, etc. Is it because of the lower budget? The setting? Because ABC just doesn’t give two hoots anymore?

Just how many crew members are on set during filming? It just seems like there’s much more interaction with this show than regular seasons.

Thanks for all you do!

Comment: Maybe they’re starting to break down the fourth wall more. “Real World” did it this past season and it changed the whole show. Probably something they should do. In recent seasons, even though it hasn’t been a lot, we’ve heard a few instances where you hear the producer asking the question in an ITM before the person answers.

So now I’ve changed my mind. People have asked a lot in recent weeks in this column and on the video chat what’s one thing I would change about the show if I could. There’s your answer. I’d show more of what the producers are asking in the ITM’s, rather than they just let us hear their answer. However, they’d never do that either.

I think I may be a bigger fan of the ridiculousness that is Bachelor in Paradise than of the other shows. I certainly understand why you like the strategy of Bachelor Pad, but if I want to see women in bikinis planning strategy and scheming against others, I will watch Survivor (which I do, but after awhile, the unshaved armpits and legs gets a little turnoffish.)
One of the reasons I both liked and disliked Bachelor & Bachelorette were the over the top emotions the contestants showed, but here you get the less romantic , more down and dirty version of what is really going on… Its more “Happy Ending” than “Fairy Tale Ending”. When Elise says “I had an instant attraction to Dylan”, it basically means, “yeah, I’m going to jump him the first chance I get.” There isn’t talk of a future together (maybe in later episodes though), and getting to know the real person, blah blah blah.
Though it is definitely contrived, it seems as though ABC accepts the show for what it is… an absolute clusterf—k of humor. The original shows would never edit an episode to make it look like AshLee is venting to a raccoon. Speaking of the raccoon, I think even he knows that she defines the expression “Hot Mess”. Attractive, but seriously… she is “cook your kids rabbit” crazy.
And besides “I don’t know what a Vista is, but we had a beautiful one” and “I’m 80/40 split”, there was also someone (Claire?) using the word “Conversating” Cracked me up.
Besides Lacy’s enormous bikini stretchers, I kind of see her as a cross between Nicole Richie & one of the Olsen twins… with huge boobs.

And last, here’s the obligatory compliment, I also think this show lets you be even more sarcastic and humorous.

Comment: I do agree. These summer shows are completely different than the “Bachelor/ette.” However, in comparing BIP to BP, I’d still take “Bachelor Pad” for the reasons explained in Tuesday’s column, and for what I said today on page 1.

Hi Steve,

Love your column!

I was wondering if you think they are just stringing along either Arie or Chris, or if the producers might be planning something interactive for selecting the next Bachelor. It seems strange they would hire trainers for both of them, but maybe they are just trying to keep the decision from being spoiled.

I could see them maybe asking Bachelor Nation to vote on who they would like to see next, or perhaps (though less likely for the reasons you’ve pointed out before) have the women decide on the first night.

What are your thoughts?

Thanks for your time!

Comment: There aren’t going to be two “Bachelors.” Nor will it be voted on by BachelorNation. There will be one. And it’s more than likely going to be Chris.

Hi Steve,

Is it just me or is Marcus give you a weird and ungenuine vibe. He loved Andi week 3 and when he got sent home he said “you were everything” now 3 weeks later he’s already head over heels with Lacy and he’s known her for 48 hours. To me that is SO fake. Then he gets engaged to her in 3 weeks?! common. What a joke!

Comment: Makes no sense to me, but hey, not my life.

Hi Steve,

I know I’m bringing up old stuff and this may have already been asked but if Ali Fedotowsky was supposedly close with Gia and with her ten days before her death, how come she wasn’t interviewed for the tribute? Do they not like Ali anymore?

Comment: There were plenty of other close friends of Gia that weren’t interviewed for the tribute. It’s not like Ali was singled out. That tribute was only 5 minutes long or so.

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  1. Scout

    August 7, 2014 at 10:50 AM

    omg they named a three-legged cat Tripod. That is AWESOME!

  2. flightgirl

    August 7, 2014 at 10:53 AM

    I thought what Nick said at the ATFR show was absolutely fine. How Andi reacted to him was crappy and showed her character. She said she was in love with Josh from the moment she saw him, so why sleep with Nick? Why lead him on further than the show required? Of course Nick wanted answers. BFD. It only made Andi look like a conceited, two-faced byotch. Why are HER feelings the only one that matter?

  3. thisissoembarrassing

    August 7, 2014 at 11:01 AM

    Totally agree – especially with the Challenge example about why Bachelor Pad is 1,000xs better than this Paradise ridiculousness.

    As far as the next Bachelor. PLEASE LET IT BE CHRIS. Can you imagine watching Arie do that “every teenage girl’s selfie face” expression while he’s kissing for an entire season. B-A-R-F. So gross. Why anyone think’s that guy is attractive is beyond me. PLUS (sorry, just getting it out – I really can’t fathom that they’re actually considering that unattractive douche) he always looks like he has bad/not the ride shade of makeup on.

    Finally – still laughing about Marcus saying that Lacy has “two beautiful……(PAUSE)…eyes” on Monday’s show. Hahahahahahahahahaha. Sure she does buddy 😉

  4. addicted2rs

    August 7, 2014 at 12:57 PM

    Considering Josh said he wasn’t going to say “I love you” until he found the person he was going to propose to, and he had told Andi he loved her before any of the Fantasy Suite dates, he must feel pretty disrespected that she had Nick’s DNA inside her when he had his Fantasy Suite date, and when he proposed. No way to get around Andi coming across any way other than a slut.

  5. karynr

    August 7, 2014 at 2:11 PM

    Fun column to read.

    I’ll say it for the last time, and please don’t beat me up, but Andi’s season was refreshing. It was nice to have a bright, strong person, and IMO she pulled it off beautifully.

    Hy for President!!!! Just kidding.

  6. vessel

    August 7, 2014 at 2:14 PM

    I’m really, REALLY anti all this “slut-shaming” Andi is getting. Is every bachelorette in this show’s history a slut? Because with the exception of Emily and Ali probably all of them sleep with at least 2 guys. Are the Bachelors sluts too? Aside from Sean they all sleep with 2, or even 3 girls. Are we going to go double standard and say it’s okay for them because they are guys? It makes me sick. Andi is a grown woman and she can sleep with anyone she wants and it’s really none of our business trying to nit pick the “whys” of her decision and name calling her for it. I find it especially alarming when other women criticize her and use misogynistic words like “slut.” Where is the sisterhood, anyway? I know I wouldn’t want a whack of complete strangers judging my sense of sexual ethics and I don’t think she deserves this holier than thou judgment either.

  7. bigfatwoman

    August 7, 2014 at 3:45 PM

    I’m on Twitter. I tend to follow and rarely tweet. I follow celebs, public people and news sources.

    I tweeted a comment to Josh The Athlete a few weeks back because dude tweeted out a shirtless picture of himself playing with his dog.

    I tried following him on Twitter today. He had blocked me. Take yourself a little serious, huh…..Athlete?

  8. Athena

    August 7, 2014 at 5:04 PM

    kaynr: I’m with you. I thought Andi was bright, articulate, and a great lead.

    vessel: Yes! Yes! Yes! It is really disturbing that women would shame another woman for making her own personal choice about her sexuality. Disturbingly misogynistic stuff, for sure.

  9. thedoctor

    August 7, 2014 at 9:58 PM

    I have no idea what slut-shaming is and how many people one must sleep with in what amount of time to be crowned a slut.

    I do not care.

    It is all about BIP now. I swear Lacy’s boobs grew during the episode. The producers must think we are all idiots or just don’t care, because there were so many manufactured/fake scenes.

    Here is one that has not yet been pointed out. It was supposedly the night after Lacy’s/Roberts’s date. They mentioned that they had not seen each other all day.

    How is that possible? Unless one of them just crashed the whole day, there is no where else to go, they would have seen each other.

  10. bigfatwoman

    August 8, 2014 at 8:01 AM

    Also wanted to add my thumbs up agreement about Nick digging himself a deeper and deeper hole with continuing to spew his sour grapes.

    It’s an interesting divide between the pro Nick and anti Nick supporters and detractors.

    When you look at him as a whole on the show…..from his laser focus on getting the girl and strategizing at every step… his “I was wronged” need to call Andi out — the guy to me… a total weirdo.

    If he were a woman we’d write this off as another overly emotional female…..but on a guy? It could not be any less becoming.

  11. goosiegirl

    August 8, 2014 at 9:46 AM

    @BFW, maybe instead of wondering why Josh blocked you on Twitter, maybe you should be wondering why wouldn’t he block you? If some stranger I didn’t know sent me negative comments, I wouldn’t want to hear from them either. It’s hard enough dealing with the negative people we have to deal with, so why deal with the ones we don’t have to?

  12. addicted2rs

    August 8, 2014 at 11:24 AM

    Bachelor and Bachelorette are not your garden variety proposals. Did any of you sleep with two different people in two days and then accept a proposal from one of them right afterward? After having said you knew all along you wanted the one who proposed?

    I just think it is disrespectful to Josh and the engagement.

    I feel the same way about any lead who has sex with more than the person they are going to get engaged to. I thought Juan Pablo was a slut. Same with other leads. You can disagree with me. We are all entitled to our opinion.

  13. bigfatwoman

    August 8, 2014 at 12:06 PM

    @goosie…..I thought about that. As an anonymous person, I would probably block someone who randomly said something negative.

    However, as a 15 minute celebrity, I would imagine I would receive many different types of comments, positive and negative. Unless someone was bombarding me with negativity I don’t think I would block someone for precisely the reason I mentioned. It would make me look too prickly and like I was taking myself just a wee bit too seriously. I hardly tweeted something viscious… was more of an eye roll comment.

  14. cjscjs711

    August 8, 2014 at 2:13 PM

    I was just reading what Nick wrote on his guest blog for Sean Lowe.

    He is practically becoming the poster child for Men Against Premarital “Making Love.” Meanwhile, it’s all such a transparent attempt to get back at Andi and Josh. Feigning naiveté, claiming being deeply in love after going on a few very heavily chaperoned and televised dates, and spending a few hours alone with a person – coming from a teenager I might try to believe it, but not a 33-year-old man.

    At least from now on any woman who becomes “deeply in love” with him and then “makes love” with him, will know she can expect an engagement ring soon thereafter! Because that’s the way he thinks it should roll. And if he doesn’t deliver, she can feel free about taking it to the media circuit.

  15. Athena

    August 8, 2014 at 5:24 PM

    It takes a lot for me to actually LOL when watching tv, but Claire crying to the raccoon and then complaining about being bitten up by fire ants did it for me. I don’t know if they’re going to edit her to make her the comedic relief for BiP, but so far, so good.

  16. Athena

    August 8, 2014 at 5:29 PM

    And now she doesn’t know what a “vista” is…OMG. She’s not really that funny, but the producers are sure having fun.

  17. flightgirl

    August 9, 2014 at 8:26 AM

    Vessel— No one is slut shaming Andi. It doesn’t matter that she slept with Nick or anyone else, but she should be called out on how SHE TREATED HIM AFTERWARDS. Geez she needed to show an ounce of empathy for his feelings and it wouldn’t have been a topic at all. She can sleep with every guy and Chris H. and no one would care. It was more about her attitude and meanness she showed Nick. She acted throughout the season, why not continue at the ATFR? Eric was right about her.

  18. Cndgirl

    August 9, 2014 at 12:45 PM

    I’m with the others who thought Andi was a good lead. I thought she had depth, and so the season had more than normal depth, I just enjoyed it a lot more.

    I don’t think she owed Nick anything. And maybe she would have talked to him if it was the Nick she knew – but now she knows about the Nick Josh knew in the house – who would have filled her in on how cocky he was, how he was sure he was the one and said it to everyone, she probably even heard about things Nick said about her she might not appreciated. She also saw footage of Nick that she probably didn’t appreciate – most of us thought he was an ass.

    So, shes head over heels for Josh, and just wants to move on with that, and now she knows how much Josh dislikes Nick (along with a lot of other guys in the house she respected), along with the side of Nick she never knew before. She probably just wants to forget about the whole thing and move on – might even be a little embarrassed she fell for him for a while. Then she gets a letter from Nick that says she made the wrong choice? Why would she want to see him? If you were dating – I mean seriously involved with a guy that hated your ex, and was crazy about him – wouldn’t you want to respect your new love and just move on? And forget it ever happened? I think that’s why she downplayed how much she cared for him, about now really being in love with him – either she didn’t want to be, or she realized, that now with what she feels about Josh, that it wasn’t really in love like she might have thought at the time – because for her it’s 3 months later but for him it’s like she dumped him yesterday. They barely spent anytime together in the first place!

    I think this experience brought up a whole bunch of old feelings up for Nick from past relationships – and I think he needs some help with that. We all need a little help sometimes – but he’s not going to get it doing the media circuit. It’s just allowing him to hang on to it all even longer when he needs to understand why he had such a strong emotional reaction and explore the root of all that. Andi certainly won’t be able to provide him with any answers to that.

  19. bigfatwoman

    August 10, 2014 at 7:37 AM

    ….what @cndgirl said (minus the strong Andi love).

  20. rob22

    August 11, 2014 at 1:22 PM

    This slut-shaming commentary is a hoot. Some of you will recall the numerous times RS has brought up the fact that Bob Guiney, I guess according to MF, slept with 4 1/2 girls and the blatant man whoring by Alex in the first Bachelor. I also recall Charlie treating the girls like his own personal harem. These guys were roundly criticized on this site, and in general, whenever the topic arose. Mostly, Sean has been applauded for his restraint (aside from the “grown sexy” stupidity that followed). So, I think it would be consistent to criticize Andi for mixing Nick and Josh’s bodily fluids on the overnights. I think as long as you’re consistent, it’s fine to take side that Andi was being slutty. I wouldn’t agree with a double standard where Bob was applauded and Andi criticized.

  21. mommyof2

    August 11, 2014 at 9:50 PM

    I thought Andi was one of the best bachelorettes ever- until the AFR show. She was so cold to Nick. Apparently Nick tried unsuccessfully to talk to her prior to this live show, and he had every reason to believe he wouldn’t get another chance to speak to her, so in my opinion, he had every right to ask her why she led him on by sleeping with him if she was in love with someone else- and knowing how he felt about her. Not to mention, I would think Josh should know his fiancé slept with someone else days before their engagement. Yes, Josh knows she’s dating others- kissing them and possibly sharing the fantasy suite with 2 other guys. But you’d think she’d only sleep with the one she was in love with and would choose.

  22. vessel

    August 12, 2014 at 8:44 AM

    I don’t think Andi owed Nick anything beyond what she gave him when she let him go. They are broken up, Nick needed to get back into real life and get over it already, sorry to sound harsh but freaking man up and move on. She didn’t let it get to the point of him choosing a ring, much less the humiliation of getting down on one knee. (That shows a lot more respect and kindness than other Bachelorettes have shown who HAVE let it get that far and then they dump the guy at the altar.) He was obsessive and stalker-esque and frankly 2.5 months later he still can’t accept that she is engaged to another man? Well that’s on him to work out on his own, or with counseling, and nothing Andi could say was going to offer him any consolation.

  23. addicted2rs

    August 12, 2014 at 10:40 AM

    The format is brutal where the lead breaks up with the F2 on the day of the proposal. Even though these people are part of a cast and are sometimes referred to as contestants, it does sound like real feelings develop for the people who make it to hometowns and beyond. Anyone who makes it to F2 is probably going to have their heart broken at least a little bit. The show has a pretty shocking format which is why people watch it. 🙂

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