“Bachelor in Paradise” Episode 2 Recap Including Who is the Next Bachelor?

August 12th, 2014 | 34 Comments | Posted in Bachelor in Paradise

In case you missed my tweet this past Saturday night, it’s official: Chris Soules will be the next “Bachelor.” Official in that I’m reporting it. Not sure when ABC plans to make their announcement, but it’s a done deal. Chris signed his contract last week, and film crews were in Iowa over the weekend filming him. He was filmed at the Franklin Hotel/Restaurant in Strawberry Point (where production stayed), a bar in Arlington called the Wagon Wheel, and was also filmed at the Iowa State Fair this past weekend. I appreciate the shout out by the Des Moines Register but, ummmmm, “he allegedly gets his information from…show’s producers.” Not quite. But hey, if people wanna think that, go right ahead. Now, some of you might say, “Yeah, but didn’t production film Arie last month in Arizona?” Yes, they did. Chris is your “Bachelor.” Just like pretty much every other spoiler I give you, if you doubt it, I guess you’ll have to wait til ABC makes it “official.” I’m just telling you it’s him. My guess is they won’t announce it until sometime in September much, much closer to when filming begins.

Of course with that tweet, it has elicited numerous responses as does the announcement every season. Some people love it, some people hate it. Here’s where I stand: Considering I told you Chris would be the “Bachelor” back on May 13th, I can’t say I’m surprised. I’m fine with it. I mean, it’s my job. No matter who they cast, I’m still going to spoil and write about it. So it’s pretty insignificant to me who gets the lead role. I guess I’m more surprised that Arie was even brought into the mix, when honestly, I don’t think he was ever a serious candidate. I think that was more or less to just make it seem like there was a competition for it since Chris had been on everyone’s mind from the beginning when I said it would be him. And what better person to jerk around than Arie, who is DYING to be the “Bachelor” so badly, he’s willing to believe their BS every year when they come to him and say, “Hey, would you want to be the Bachelor?” Oh well. I guess it’s back to Cracker Barrel for Arie to try and make new friends. Hey, anyone want to take a guess how many times Arie is gonna visit his new pastor friend after getting passed over yet AGAIN for this gig? My guess is zero. His failed attempt at convincing everyone he’s a changed man with his guest column on Sean’s blog was ridiculous, and I’m guessing he’s got a plethora of barely legal skirt he’ll begin chasing immediately. Good luck to him.

As I say every single season with this show: it does not matter who the lead is. People are going to watch. There’s plenty of people out there who reacted positively to the news that Chris is the “Bachelor” and can’t wait to see him. This argument of, “Who wants to move to Iowa and be farmer’s wife” is completely irrelevant. Sure, they’ll cast a bunch of girls who aren’t interested, and I’m sure the cattiness in the house will surround exactly that point, but it doesn’t matter. First off, all it takes is one, and secondly, this show has never been about finding someone a spouse. Never will be either. It’s a television show meant to entertain. So regardless of what you think of Chris, I’m pretty sure if you’ve watched this show for years, you’re going to continue to watch and that’s all they care about. For all those who say, “Ugh, I hate Chris. I’m not watching next season.” Guess what? No one cares. Because you announce you’re not watching a show, is that some earth shattering event that’s going to change the course of television forever? Like I said, no one cares, and for all those that won’t watch, they’ll be plenty of others that will.

Making a social media announcement that you’re not going to watch a television show because you’re upset it’s Chris only emphasizes, at least to me, that you WILL watch because you will want to comment on social media on how much you hate him as the “Bachelor” and would’ve preferred someone else. People are so transparent sometimes. As for the Arie crazies who got kicked in the nuts yet again, well, it couldn’t have happened to bigger bunch of lunatics that deserved it more. Thank God I won’t have to talk about him for at least another year, you know, when inevitably the “Bachelor” announcement rolls around again and his obsessive nut jobs get tricked into thinking he’s got a chance. Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

On Thursday’s video chat, someone asked about the E! special that aired back in 2010 that I was on called “The Bachelor: Then and Now” and what happened with that whole thing since they removed my parts after the first airing. RealityBlurred.com covered it at the time, and I
wrote a piece breaking it all down. Pretty funny to look back on now that the higher ups at ABC went to that length to take me off a TV show that had already been filmed. Someone emailed me after the chat on Thursday and said they still have my episode on their DVR and are finding a way to get it to me. Once I get it, I will post it. I haven’t seen that thing in years.

Ratings are in and I’d pretty surprised the show kept its audience from last week. Usually after the premiere, a show like this will lose a little of its audience until the end when it picks up again, but it delivered the same 1.4 rating in the 18-49 demo and 5.1 million viewers overall. I guess people are enjoying this train wreck.

Get your “Reader Emails” and “Dr. Reality Steve” questions in the next couple of days. Right now, the mailbag is fairly light for a Tuesday, so I can pretty much guarantee your email will make it in Thursday’s column if you get it in today or tomorrow.

34 thoughts on ““Bachelor in Paradise” Episode 2 Recap Including Who is the Next Bachelor?

  1. It’s a coincidence (not ironic) that Michelle and Rozlyn were both on Jake’s season.

  2. Steve,
    I’m 1000% sure I won’t be watching The Bachelor next January.

    Guess I’m unlike most viewers you mention here, but the choice does affect my watching and reading habits. Didn’t watch one minute of Juan Pablo and won’t be watching one minute of Chris. Didn’t read one of your columns during JP and won’t need to during Chris either.

    See you for the Bachelorette.

  3. So……it’s weird that crazy Ashlee gets a pass in your column and her craziness is attributed to “editing” – yet you go nuts on Elise. Don’t care for either one actually, but I do find that odd.

  4. If you read Steve’s column from last episode, he had a LOT to say about AshLee’s crazy. A LOT. Cause she was crazy last episode. She had maybe about 4 seconds of screen time this episode. Hard to talk about the crazy when we didn’t see any.

    Not every single contestant is worth focusing on every episode.

    I’m enjoying the hell out of this show. It’s like a cotton candy snow-cone for the brain.

  5. If you really want to be a writer Steve, please learn how to edit…and proofread…and spell check. It’s really getting worse by the minute. If this is really your chosen profession (sad, yes) then at least take the time to care.

    Other things, do you really think they meant that reenactment to be anything but funny? You do realize that not everyone that works on the show is a Producer right? I mean you even call him a cameraman and then a producer right after. Dude was in audio. Not a producer, not the same thing. Also, Chris saying “you can only imagine where it went from there” clearly intimates more than just flirting went on. And do you think anyone said anything about it being a scandal? And yes, of course what he did was wrong….likely why they fired him. Do you think he woulda jumped off the balcony had it just been flirting? Think she woulda been “naked under a towel” had it just been flirting? If so, you are even more of a dolt than I originally thought.

    Also, I have a source that I promise you is better than Steve’s. Contracts have not been signed. That’s a promise from me so a lie by him.
    If he wants to prove it on his sources than go ahead, but it’s a bald faced lie….just like old stevie is prone to do

  6. I agree with bachphan99 about Steve’s punctuation, grammar and spelling. If this is his chosen profession, he really should take the time to edit his posts a bit better.

    I’m not a huge fan of his recaps. I really only read his blog for the spoilers and the extra information that he gives along the way. It seems like he’s trying too hard to be funny or something, and it doesn’t work for me. If anyone wants to read some really witty and hilarious recaps, check out Jen Frase, Sharleen Joynt (All the Pretty Pandas), or Lincee Ray (I Hate Green Beans).

  7. bachphan99:
    It’s “THEN go ahead”,”not THAN go ahead”. If you’re going to bash someone’s editing, at least make sure your writing is polished. Steve isn’t perfect (I tried to give him a lesson on let’s/lets; I don’t think he read it or cares!), but don’t bash if your own grammar sucks.

  8. I think its lame Steve asserts things as true when they are just his opinion. He emphatically said Ben and Courtney didn’t have sex in the ocean, yet she admits to it in her book. He emphatically said 100% Emily would never be the Bachelorette. He guaranteed Brad 2.0 selected Chantal as the F1 and berated anyone who suggested otherwise. He guaranteed Brooks was the F1 in Des’s season. It is now equally lame for him to guarantee only flirting occurred between Michelle and the audio guy. If they were only flirting he probably wouldn’t have jumped off the balcony.

  9. @jessicat, I LOVE the three blogs you listed for recaps! The I hate green beans photo recap about Andi’s fantasy suite dates made me laugh so hard my face was literally covered in tears, my husband thought there was something seriously wrong with me lol. Good recommendations!

  10. I will admit that I don’t pay strict attention to every utterance on this stupid show, but I don’t recall the BIP production admitting that “nothing physical” happened between Michelle K and Ryan. When the handler, Lauren, was telling her version of the story, she said that Michelle answered the door only wearing a towel and appeared to be naked underneath. Ryan was in the room at the time. Unless Michelle is channeling clothing-optional Lucy, then it’s not a stretch to think that they were doing more than talking. He probably barely (see what I did there?) got his clothes back on before he made the fateful and guilt-driven decision to jump from balcony.

    Let them have each other. The premise was not that these people find a spouse in “paradise,” so who cares who they hook up with?

  11. Wow. The grammar police are out in force today. Nice job with that. Nobody finds that the least bit annoying. And a visit from the person with inside sources. Even better. Now we just need an Arie fan to pop off and we’ll have a tri-fecta of irritating posts.

    Oh…. And …. E-I-E-I-O. That’s now the official theme song for next seasons Bachelor. Either that or Pickin and Grinnin from Hee-Haw.

  12. Vessel:
    I’m glad you like those recaps too!

    I didn’t want to put Steve down or anything, but I just enjoy those other blogs more. Steve is great at what he does with the spoilers and other updates regarding all things “Bachelor” though.

  13. Steve is quick to point out that Elise is an idiot – yes. But Dylan is equally as stupid. They had a connection, yet he said it was time to see other people and go one dates with other people in the house. Then he was mad at her for doing that. Then he was eliminated from the show. If he would have stuck it out with Elise as a relationship, they could have made it to the end. Even though there wasn’t prize money, there could have been. And probably more money from ABC to go on. Graham clearly wasn’t into Ashlee but he kept giving her roses. Pair up or go home, Dylan. He had an opportunity to stay on and he was too stubborn and jealous to forgive her and move on.

  14. I can’t stand the morally self righteous Bachelor police who seek to expose those not there for the right reasons. Ben took advantage of a free vacation. So what? He took the space of those who would have come on for the right reasons? I don’t know that he really toyed with any women’s emotions on the show as he never had a date or seemed to connect with any of them as Chris Harrison claims. Okay, we get it that it is funny that the guy’s name is Putz. Did Harrison need to call him Mr. Putz repeatedly in his blog? Did the show cast people who are clearly emotionally damaged like Elise and AshLee for the right reasons or for drama? Was Chris B, who went from serious contestant to disgusting creep, cast for the right reason?

  15. juliette99:
    I don’t claim to be a writer. I am prone to the occasional typo in a comments section. But ok.

    My point still stands. Dude is a liar and a poor writer that fills his column with hypocritical statements.

    I’d love for him to tell me about the contracts though because I know it to be false…just like a lot of stuff he claims to be fact.

  16. bachphan99,
    Thus far, you have brought precisely ZERO information, facts or data to the table. About anything. Or anyone.

    You can promise people a good source all you want, but until you deliver, it’s all just blahblahblah…. Most people shut up until they put up. Might be something to think about.

    Meanwhile, I don’t imagine Steve is holding his breath about his “competition” in the spoilerverse. And whether he reads THESE comments or not, I’ve never seen him address them in the last 5 years. So why not just relax, enjoy the site and have a laugh?

  17. I think it’s true that RS is not a good writer. Because he is not a writer, he is a blogger. Two different animals. RS could not write for the LA Times because he makes grammatical mistakes, deals in rumors and innuendo and, in fact, can be hypocritical/inconsistent in his commentary. This is pretty common in the blogosphere. That’s why the grammar police are so funny. You want good grammar? Pickup the Wall Street Journal. Good grammar, consistency and pure facts? On the internet, that ship has sailed. It’s purely entertainment and either you like it or you don’t. There aren’t going to be Pulitzer’s awarded for blogs. Ever.

  18. Then I guess his dream of Grantland should die and die now rob22. But that is a fair point.

    As for angelfish, I was trying to enjoy but I have to say it’s hard to do when he is neither funny nor accurate.
    And it seems I am delivering just as much as Steve is. He never reveals his sources either. And I didn’t say his outcome is wrong, but I did say that he lying about the contracts being signed because they haven’t and that is a fact. Doubt me all you want, just as Steve likes to tell you, it’s true. If he wants to reveal his “source” I’ll gladly reveal mine. But until then it seems like he is just making baseless claims based on the fact that they were filming in Iowa….just like they did in Arizona.
    And I know he reads these comments because he once referred to me in his AskRS comments. So I’ll continue to call him out on what he knows is false and do my best to enlighten his readers that this guy is just making stuff up.

    If he ever wants to debate, I’m here and waiting…

  19. What kind of moron calls his fans the disgusting names that RS does? Not funny, rude, full of himself, annoying.

  20. i havent read anything from the grammar police in years. thought we were beyond that. who the f cares about a spelling mistake or a missing apostrophe? its a blog. and just so boring to call people out just to call them out. anyway, sometimes steve is hilarious. when he goes off on tagents and imaginary scenarios like he did a lot in juan pahblows season. i was in stitches reading about one contestants son running and screaming down the hall when his mom told him juan pahblow was his new step dad. or his very long references to 80′s movies and music. and he does have off days. also, he posts in less than a day after the ep airs. anyway, im a fan of steves, can you tell?

  21. I’m a little dumbfounded. Steve, during Andi’s finale, you went out of your way to defend her decision to have sex with two guys while planning to accept a proposal from one of them and condemned Nick for outing this fact on TV and then went on about how vile it is for people to be ‘slut-shaming’ a woman for doing this. And I thought… hey, it’s refreshing to read this – he’s an evolved kind of guy. And then going through this recap, I’m pretty taken aback. You called Elise a “blonde bimbo who will spread her legs for anyone who gives her the least bit of attention”, she wears a “stripper-like bikini” and is a “giant slut bag” for hooking up with two different guys on a dating show, along with a host of other insults. To be clear, I’m not a fan of Elise (or any of these people) but I don’t get why Elise gets called a “giant slut bag” for hooking up with two guys, while seeing a future with one of them (ie. Dylan) while Andi gets defended for doing the same (except it’s sex, not just making out in an ocean), while planning a future with one of them? Kind of disappointed that you felt self-righteous enough to finger-wag at the Andi haters and take a moral stance while basically raking Elise over the coals and cracking the slut-whip on her for basically making out with two guys on a dumb vacation dating show. Sorry, love your recaps in general, but had to point out the slut-shaming hypocrisy on that one.

  22. I agree, too much cracking of the slut whip.

    I have to admit tho, ABC has really gotten too extreme with this one. Between the vapid dialogue we’re given (never anything substantial although they claim to each other they’ve had deep conversations) paired with the excessively silly or mock dramatic music, I half wonder whether they’re truly trying to present drama or present comedy. I’d like to get into the stories of these people but what I’m presented with – gives me the feeling they want to entertain us by making us laugh at these people. Which I don’t like doing.

    Even their B-roll footage makes me think “WTF?” Grasses blowing in the wind, uninteresting waves, etc.

    Steve’s blog reflects the more slapstick approach, which, I don’t know whose fault that is. Tho I agree Steve’s forte is spoilers, not pure recaps.

    All in all, this show does not seem to have been produced by the A Team.

  23. @bachphan99: I don’t see what the problem is. You can start your own spoiler site like he did, and get paid by advertisers like he does.

  24. I agree with cjsj.

    The show seems to be going out if its way to make some of the participants look bad.

    Why was Elise the center of attention for about half the show? Where were Lacy’s boobs? I did not even know Ben was around until the fake GF letter. What was up with Michele’s break down, menopause?

    While I do find this more entertaining than the bachelorette, the whole concept seem pretty stupid. Plus there is not enough drunkedness, not enough slutting around. A few make out sessions, big deal.

  25. I have a real job thanks. I just happen to find people that pretend to be in the know patting themselves on the back for spreading rumor as fact and occasionally getting it right pretty reprehensible. Hoping some of you do as well if it is pointed out to you

  26. I have to say that reading the comments on here is more entertaining that Steve’s blog.

  27. I have been reading Steve for too many years to count. I don’t have any problem with him or anything he writes. He is a blogger! He has brightened up my week with his hilarious comments and I don’t mind him getting up on his soap box proclaiming his opinions either when he feels the need to do so.

    I had to disagree with his assessment of Andi and her behavior towards Nick, but Steve is entitled to his views on the subject. His sources are private and he feels no need to disclose how he gets his information or from whom.

    If his writing style is offensive to anyone, please go elsewhere which should cut down the annoyance factor. I admire his ability to spoil these insipid shows and will continue to read his blog. We all have choices and Steve happens to be mine.

  28. What’s with all the brutes insulting Steve? You’re reading his articles, so obviously you love this ##it. Get real. Like you can all put wonderful sentences together and spoil 90% of the Bachelor franchise’s seasons. You realize that Steve writes 5 or 6 pages in less than 24 hours right? You realize that he could be tired or sick and he still produces???

    Loved the commentary about Elise. I LOL’d my butt off!!! I feel bad for Elise, but she brought it on herself. I would be in hiding if I were her.

  29. Tragedy or Comedy? Both. You know the participants are totally egged on by producers to get those ridiculous cringe and/or laugh worthy sound bites. And apparently if they aren’t “revealing enough”, we get raccoons, hysterical crying which may or may not even have been connected with Ben’s g.f. back home, broken feet, yet another ocean make-out session, etc. The Elise train wreck was no doubt manipulated. I’m guessing that if you really care all that much about how they are going to portray you on the show, you know enough after your first go-round to stay home.

  30. @Athena – I know! I was thinking the same things! And was SO surprised that Steve – who is usually, if anything, on the skeptical or cynical side of things – seemed to take all of this as genuine. Reading his blog of Tuesday, it ALmost sounded written by someone else.

    And the guy jumping off the balcony? Don’t people normally exit a room the same way they came in? So why wouldn’t he just leave through the adjoining room door back into his room? And it struck me that someone (Lauren) would not be able to hold back laughter when – no matter for how stupid – someone ended up with two broken ankles or legs. I just looked askance at that whole scenario for so many reasons….

  31. Whoever suggested Michelle Money is going through menopause-she is 33! The exact same age as AshLee and Clare. Not sure why you think she’s older than the rest, she sure doesn’t look it, either.

    @bachphan99- Steve doesn’t post spoilers based on rumors, if he isn’t sure he qualifies his writing by saying “From what I’m hearing…” and his spoilers he gets it right a lot more than “occasionally” as you put it. Are you new to this site? For years now his track record has been nearly 100%. Yeah he got Desiree’s final guy wrong, but that is the vast exception, not the rule. Anyone else (Ali, Brad 2.0) he corrected before the episode aired so you really can’t even count them.

  32. This show is terrible! It’s so obvious that the budget for this show is tiny (especially compared to the elaborate locations and dates of the Bachelor/ette shows), and there’s no action, point, or end-game. If this show took place in the fall when other shows were on, there’s no way I’d continue watching it. The show’s saving grace is that it’s on in the summer when nothing else is on to compete. Maybe I’ll read my book next Mon. Night instead. Naw, I’ll probably just continue to waste my time watching this train wreck of a show.

  33. steve is very mean this week. really bashing the girls. not creative in his recaps, just slut this, slut that. above i rave about him, im a fan. just wanted to come back and agree with you all.

  34. Mush, I think RS was rough on the contestants of both sexes. Buttkowski and Ben got pretty rough treatment too. Why? Don’t you think that the show, and anyone who chooses to go on it, invite mockery? In fact, isn’t that the “real point” of the show? To invite mockery and pull an audience from those that enjoy a good train wreck? I can think of no other reason to air an abortion like BIP. And the contestants have all been through the wringer at least once before. They know what’s coming. Buttkowski is ripped a new one every time he shows his face in public by multiple bloggers. You don’t see him hiding shamefully from more public scrutiny. You know the old axiom, any publicity is good publicity. These people live their lives and participate in franchise opportunities accordingly. So, RS is just taking free whacks at the whack-a-moles. Why wouldn’t he? Btw: the blogs mentioned above, Jen Frase and Sharleen, took their turns with their whack-a-mole mallets too.

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