I’m sick. I hate being sick. It’s never fun. Granted, it’s not like this is bad at all. Nothing flu-like or anything of the such. It’s just my nose is running all day long and I used up a full box of tissues yesterday. So yes, tonight during the live video chat (which I might cut short depending on how crappy I feel), I’m going to turn into the male Kelsey as I sniffle my way through the whole broadcast. You’ve been warned. Doesn’t mean I won’t take all your questions on anything and everything having to do with the “Bachelor” and now “Bachelorette,” which starts filming next week. The announcement will be made on the ATFR Monday night, so you can expect to see Kaitlyn in that role, despite the numerous rumors circulating. Of course production keeps saying they haven’t made their decision and it’s the toughest one yet, but they know what they’ve decided. We’re now only 4 days away from the finale. Yay. I’ve waited over 3 months for this day to happen. Finally it’ll be over. Been working on “Bachelorette” stuff for the last month or so, so I will reveal the first few guys to you in Tuesday’s column. I said filming started either Tuesday the 10th or Wednesday the 11th. I think it’s gonna be Wednesday night.
A few of you have asked me this week (including one in “Reader Emails”) about this information I had all season that I didn’t share but I’m going to share on Tuesday. Just wanted to specify that this bit of info I didn’t share was more for my own good. It just would’ve led to a bunch of unwarranted emails and questions that didn’t need to be brought up. So is it something major? Not really. But if I would’ve given it to you back in November or December, or before the season started, trust me it would’ve been something that would’ve come up probably every week if I had. You’ll know once I tell you on Tuesday why I didn’t share it earlier. Would’ve led to a bunch of speculation that I couldn’t prove, and I just didn’t feel like dealing with it so I’ll share it after the fact. You’ll see. It’s not major, but it’s somewhat significant. On to “Dr. Reality Steve”…
This season of the bachelor has been particularly difficult to watch, mostly because I can’t enjoy wine with the show. I’m pregnant and although it is a planned pregnancy, it is my first and I’m having a hard time adjusting.
My husband and I dated for 2 years, just got married a couple months ago but are both in our 30s and didn’t want to wait longer to have children. This is both of our first (and only) marriage and neither of us have other kids. I want to stress that I have a wonderful loving husband who has been to the prenatal exams, is ecstatic to be having a child, and would never even consider cheating on me.
Since I’m in the first trimester, I’m not showing and I haven’t been physically ill much but I constantly feel like I’ve had one too many rides on the tilt-a-whirl. My husband is understanding that I feel awful and I try not to whine about it much. However, the problem is the OB said it was fine to continue having sex while pregnant. I could kill that woman for saying that!
We have always had great sex that both of us enjoy. However, now it isn’t as enjoyable for me and yet I don’t want to keep turning him away. We are still newlyweds and I understand he isn’t feeling any different.
So my question is, as a guy, would you rather be denied sex for what could potentially last for months, or would you rather have sex even if you could knew it was uncomfortable for your partner? I don’t want to become the wife that is never in the mood.
And you couldn’t possibly know the answer to this, so I’m hoping someone from the comments section can help. If you have had a child, does sex ever go back to “normal”?
(That was for you Steve, I’m not big into the alliterations)
Comment: You know how last week all of the “Dr. Reality Steve” emails missed the boat on the alliterations in their signature? Well this week it’s basically the exact opposite. Almost everyone gives one.
From what I’ve heard, your sex life will decrease dramatically once you have a child. Not for lack of interest, or lack of physical chemistry with your husband, or even lack of desire. It’s just that your child will become the focal point of everything you do day in and day out that it’s easier to put it off. Sure you’ll still have it occasionally, but the frequency won’t be nearly as close what it was pre-child. Of course, every couple is different and maybe it will be with you guys, but that’s the consensus. Has nothing to do with how much you guys love each other, but everything to do with how much your life now revolves around someone else and not yourselves, that you can keep putting it off every night.
As for during the pregnancy, that’s a whole different ball game I would imagine. I think the guy has to have some expectation that the sex life is gonna die down a bit during pregnancy. Lets face it, most women don’t feel their sexiest carrying around a giant bowling ball in their stomach, so insecurities probably have something to do with it. He just needs to get over it if you’re not in the mood or it’s just too uncomfortable.
Paging Doctor Steve. Doctor Steve to e-mail 101.
I have a friendship question, not a relationship question, so I’m hoping you can still send some advice this way.
My best friend, Skyler, and I have been best friends for twenty years (basically our whole lives). We have been through thick & thin together, whether it was boy drama, distance drama, high school drama, you name it, we’ve been through it & overcame it. I honestly thought nothing could ever come between us. We were each others’ maids of honors, picking one other over our own sisters. I would die for this girl. Skyler is more than a friend; she is my family,
When I got married two years ago, my husband’s job had us move out-of-state to a neighboring state. I now live five hours away from Skyler, so we don’t get to see each other as often, but we talk, text, communicate in some way every day. And we try to see one another every other month on a weekend trip. A couple months ago we spent Christmas together and had a great time.
January fifth will go down as one of the worse days of my life. I went to my gynecologist for a regular check-up, had some blood work done, no big deal. Routine stuff. That day, my doctor found a lump in my breast. He was worried that I had cancer. My heart sank. I felt sick and hopeless, but that’s another story. Anyways, down in the dumps I was, I texted Skyler at work and told her what was going on. She was shocked and told me to stay positive, that I didn’t know anything 100% yet. Also if there was anything I needed, let her know & she would be there in five hours. She said she would call me later than evening.
I never received a call from her, but I know she’s busy, so I thought nothing of it. I went & had some testing done the next day, tried calling her afterwards, but nothing. Texted her to say I survived tests & I still had not heard anything from her. I was beginning to think something was wrong with her. My next thought was to check her social media & then saw she had been updating her Facebook, posting photos of herself with some other friends. I figured she was busy with friends & would get back to me when she could. Fast forward to today & she continues to ignore me. I called, texted, Facebook messaged, etc., everything i could to think of to get a hold of her. Nothing. I know she gets my messages because it says “seen” on Facebook & she’s active on there, but she won’t respond no matter how hard I try. I’m going through a very difficult time in my life & need her now more than ever. I never thought a medical issue would break us. What did I do wrong? Do you think she’s separating herself from me because she’s scared to lose me? But what friend does that? If it was her, I would be there, by her side, holding her hand the whole way. What can I do to get her back in my life, or has she shown her true colors & I should just end the friendship for good since she’s not there for me? Desperately needing advice/help her.
Comment: Just know you did nothing wrong. This is on her.
So since Jan. 5th, the day you initially saw the doctor, you still haven’t heard from her? That’s a sh***y thing to do honestly. She hasn’t even checked to see how you are? I couldn’t tell from the email if you said the lump ended up being cancerous or not? Regardless, she hasn’t even checked in? It certainly looks like to me if you’ve really tried getting a hold of her through all those avenues, and she hasn’t responded in now exactly 2 months to the day, doesn’t look like she’s going to respond. Why? I have no idea. I’m sure at some point later on down the line you’ll hear from her if you guys were that close, then maybe you can ask her, but until then I wouldn’t focus on her. It sucks and I’m sure you have a million questions, but it looks like you have yourself to worry about now more than her. Geesh, what a bitch.