If you don’t hear from me ever again after today, it’s because we have tornado warnings here in north Dallas tonight and there’s a chance my house could blow away overnight. Hey, you never know. Will it happen? Probably not. But if we get the rain and thunderstorms we’re supposed to, that’ll really put a cramp into my TV viewing tonight. Wednesday night is the night I have the most shows recording from Idol, to Survivor, to Modern Family, to Nashville, and a couple others I believe not to mention 3 games in the NBA playoffs. The second we get heavy, heavy rain, you know the kind where the clouds take over the sky, well that gets in the way of the DirecTV satellite and I get that annoying message in the bottom of my screen saying it can’t pick up the signal. Then I just sit there and do nothing but cry. Maybe I’ll jump on Periscope tonight if that happens. Stay tuned. Otherwise, pray that my TV doesn’t go out tonight for an extended period of time. I know, first world problems. Hey, that’s some important stuff. Leave me alone.
Daily Links 4/22
-Sandra Bullock is People’s World’s Most Beautiful Woman. I thought they did the “50 Most Beautiful People?” Now it’s the WORLD’s Most Beautiful? Ummmm, ok. Look, Sandra Bullock is attractive. There’s no denying that. And I understand that beauty is completely subjective. I get that too. With that said, Sandra Bullock is not the most beautiful woman in the world. Not a chance. These things are PR driven and usually done because the person they chose has something big coming up or just recently did something. She’s older, she’s attractive, she’s a MILF, and she’s one of America’s most favorite actresses. She’s also not the most beautiful woman in the world. Please.
-Speaking of women, the paparazzi stalked out Bruce Jenner yesterday and caught him having a smoke and wearing a maxi dress outside his home. Only 2 more days until the interview. Can’t wait.
-For those of you still recovering from yesterday’s news that Ariana Grande and Big Sean broke up after 8 long months together, be strong. Ariana is. She let all of her fans know yesterday that everything is great. Whew. All is right with the world now, because if Ariana wasn’t great, I think space time continuum would probably halt.
-I had no idea Robert Herjavec writes a DWTS blog for EW.com. In it he talks every week about practice time, his dance, and anything else he’s dealing with while being on the show. That’s great and all Robert, but no one cares. All we want to know is how soon after the ink dryed on your divorce papers did you start schtupping Kym Johnson because you guys, and the show, couldn’t make it any more obvious.
-I know nothing about the Duggar family other than there are a lot of them, and they reproduce faster than any normal humans should. Well, now one of their 431 children is pregnant. Jessa Duggar is following in mommy’s footsteps and is beginning to spread her legs at the ripe age of 22 and she is now expecting with husband Ben Seewald. Lets place a bet on how many kids she’ll have before age of 30. I’ll go with 7. Maybe that’s not physically possible but I don’t put anything past this family.
-In case you haven’t watched it, “Inside Amy Schumer” is basically the raunchiest show you’ll see on basic cable. I had no idea you could say some of the things that they do on her show on Comedy Central. I think f**k might be the only word not allowed on TV anymore, because every other word is. Go watch the premiere from last night. Holy sh**. It’s amazing what they do. And funny as hell. Here Amy talks about how the “Last F***able Day” sketch came together with Tina Fey, Julia Louis Dreyfus, and Patricia Arquette.
-Still waiting on the official “Erin Andrews has broken up with boyfriend Jarret Stoll” press release after his coke and ecstasy arrest this past weekend. Former Ole Miss college basketball player Marshall Henderson got a little revenge on Erin after she took a shot at him on Twitter a couple years ago. Karma is a bitch.
-“Transformers 5” is set for release in 2017. I was never a Transformers kid growing up. Didn’t care for the toys, and never watched the cartoon, but I’ve seen all the movies. Obviously we know why they get made, but seriously, they’re pointless. I think I might refrain from seeing the fifth one, said the liar.
-This past Monday night while texting during DWTS, I informed someone that I HATED Julianne’s pink hair with a passion. HATE. IT. It’s one thing to get pink streaks, but to go complete beauty-school-drop-out pink as a grown adult is just stupid. Apparently Julianne hacked my phone and was listening in since last night at the taping of the 10 year anniversary special, she went back to blonde. Thank God.
-Jesse’s TV wife from “Full House” Lori Loughlin says she doesn’t know if the Olsen twins are on board for the “Full House” reboot, but if they are, you’d only need one. Very true. And since neither of them really act much anymore, nor did they really add much to the original series other than “Cool dude” lines, I think I’m fine with them being left out.
-Rihanna went topless for V magazine, and in it she says she doesn’t give a d**k about privacy anymore. That is, until her private life gets posted all over the tabloids and she’ll complain about it. These people are so transparent, it’s laughable. Really? You don’t care anymore about your privacy? Sure you don’t.
-So this is really a thing now? This #KylieJennerLipChallenge has taken off to ridiculous levels to the point of teenagers sucking shot glasses til their blood vessels in their lips pop? Oh boy. Pretty much goes to show that whatever any Jenner does will be news someday. Except Brody. He’s been irrelevant since “The Hills.”
-I’m sure some of you watched “Botched” on E!, but in case you don’t, this is the kind of stuff you miss. Safe to say I’ll never be watching this show.
-Whoa. We have TWO sports stories today to end the column. The first one is playing off yesterday’s story of Reds manager Bryan Price melting down and dropping 77 f-bombs in a 5 minute rant. Well the NY Post followed that up yesterday with the 5 best manager meltdowns. These are damn good. No surprise Tommy Lasorda is involved in 2 of them if you know anything about the guy. But out of those five, Lee Elia going scorched earth on the Cubs fans is pretty damn good.
-And finally, TMZ Sports released footage from the prison that Warren Sapp was taken to after getting busted with two prostitutes in his hotel room. This is fascinating to listen to the interrogation and what he says. Just watch. And yes, it’s NSFW. Warren Sapp – True Gentleman.