Since we’re just 5 days away from the premiere next Monday, and the first episode has not been released online as of this writing (hopefully it’ll go up sometime today), I figured today I would just answer all the teaser questions I gave you within the last few weeks to hold you over til Monday. I’ll be releasing your episode-by-episode spoilers for the season on Monday which covers the whole season. Couple small things still not filled in yet due to their change in schedule, but as I told you yesterday, I received the ending to the show last week and will be releasing it Monday. I got an email yesterday from someone who told me they “heard a rumor” about the ending but wanted to run it by me first. As I’ve said numerous times before, I don’t deal in rumors in speculation. If I did, I’d be telling you stuff every day that I hear. With that said, this rumor of how the ending of the show plays out couldn’t have been more wrong if they tried. So yeah, no one is reporting anything because no media outlets know anything. It’s all a guessing game when you don’t have sources. Social media is not a source unfortunately. You will have your answers come Monday. Now, onto your teaser answers…
There are a couple short clips in the ABC press bundle from the first night, and one is interesting. You can see the tone they were trying to set by showing this. Britt is the serious one looking for love, and Kaitlyn is the jokester who may or may not be taking this as serious. Once all the guys are in the house and Kaitlyn and Britt address them for the first time, Kaitlyn tells a joke like she did last season. The joke went like this:
Kaitlyn: “Knock, Knock.”
Guys: “Who’s there?”
Kaitlyn: “Two Bachelorettes.”
Guys: “Two Bachelorettes who?”
Kaitlyn: (Laughing) “That’s the joke.”
Which then immediately cuts to an ITM of Britt saying, “Kaitlyn’s joke kinda speaks to what is different about Kaitlyn and I in this journey, like, this is our chance to walk into the room and say ‘This is what I’m looking for,’ it’s not to do stand up…” and then cuts back to Britt when she addresses the guys saying “I just wanna say I’m looking for my best friend. I’m looking for someone to share my life with and that’s really fun. Like I’m looking for an adventure partner and I think we all are here for the same reason I hope…” Then cutting back to Britt’s ITM of her saying, “We’re just different. And that’s one of the things that’s different about us, I think, is maybe what we’re looking for and how serious we are about finding it.” OUCH. Well, considering her humor won out over your seriousness, I guess it really didn’t matter now did it Britt? Then again, you never had a chance to be the “Bachelorette” anyway since the producers had determined it was going to be Kaitlyn, so your assessment of her kinda fell on deaf ears. Kaitlyn could’ve told an X-rated joke on the first night and she still would’ve been the “Bachelorette.”
I answered 5 of these already, and then after the first promo came out and the first press release, you probably could’ve figured out what some of the other ones are. But here’s all of them together in a nice bundle for you.
-How did the limo entrances work with two girls standing there? Each guy had to make their own decision on who to approach first – Britt or Kaitlyn. I think this is the one thing I’m looking forward to most on seeing the first episode early as I will tell you which girl each guy approached first. Judging by one promo, Kupah flipped a coin to see who to go to first.
-Who made an ass of themselves early on? That would be Ryan McDill after getting piss drunk, stripping down into a speedo, jumping into the pool, and being asked to leave the first night. But Shawn Evans wasn’t far behind.
-Which guy shot himself in the foot by becoming way too cocky? Chris Harrison gave this one away in his “5 Guys To Watch” column, but that’s Clint.
-How was the voting handled on the first night? This was given away in the promo, but each guy went separately into a voting room where there were two boxes. One for Kaitlyn and one for Britt. They placed a rose into the box of the girl they wanted to keep, and that sentence sounded dirtier than it should have.
-Who got injured (not on the boxing date)? Tony. Not sure if it’ll be shown or not, but he ended up having ACL surgery.
-Which guy sucked helium out of balloons on his limo entrance? Justin.
-Which guy arrived in a cupcake car, thus earning him the nickname this season of “Cupcake?” Well, that would be Chris. Dentist? Sweet tooth? Get it? Bhahahahahahahahaha. Hilarious. He should take his act on the road.
-How many black guys are on this season and did they last longer than they usually do? 3. Kupah, Jonathan, and Ian. Ian lasted the longest.
-What do Roberto and one of the guys this season have in common? Chris. Just like Ali’s season when they had a group date with the guys auditioning to be part of the “Lion King” play, they did the same for Kaitlyn except it was for “Aladdin.” Chris ended up winning and got to perform with Kaitlyn as the others got sent back to the hotel.
-Which guy is best friends with one of the producer’s fiance and was a late add to the cast, basically skipping most of the interview process? Ben Z.
-Why was Nick a little bitch? Nick was hazed the first night he was there then went running to complain to Kaitlyn about it. Seriously, grow a pair already. What did you think was gonna happen?
-Who busted out the boom box on his limo entrance and tried to dance? Daniel Finney.
-Who had on a superhero shirt underneath his suit that he busted out the first night? Jared Haibon.
-Who was the villain or most disliked guy in the house? In the beginning, it was Clint. Once he was eliminated, I’m pretty sure JJ is going to get the edit of the loudmouth guy who basically has no filter.
-Why was the first 1-on-1 date of the season significant? Because it went to Clint, he got a rose, and by the next episode Kaitlyn had sent him home before the rose ceremony because he was essentially being an arrogant ass to everyone. I’ll tell you what they did on their date in Monday’s episode-by-episode recap.
I’ll try and think of something else tomorrow and Friday to hold you over until Monday, but until then, let the rampant speculation based on nothing whatsoever continue! By all means, if anyone thinks they have any clue to how they think the season ends, I’d love to hear it. I’m willing to bet that every guess is wrong, but hey, that’s just me.
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